sick of being told you don't need to loose weight

Ccuser99
Ccuser99 Posts: 47 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I need to loose 14lbs to reach my target weight.The problem is, it is hard to stay motivated when everyone around me is telling me i don't need to loose weight and I look fine the way I am, I appreciate what they are trying to do, but it has the opposite effect on me. Has anyone else experienced this?
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Replies

  • Christi6604
    Christi6604 Posts: 247 Member
    When I hit a plateau I had a lot of co-workers tell me that "I look fine"..."maybe this is just where your body is comfortable"... "sometimes at middle age, you just can't lose anymore". ..etc.. I researched, tweaked some things and started losing again.

    I'm glad I didn't listen. I'm not sure where you're at ...but I'm still 2 pounds over BMI (I know BMI is hooey...just using for frame of reference)....I refuse to accept that I can't reach a healthy weight just because it's hard.
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    Sure did. People were far more vocal about telling me to stop losing weight than they ever were about telling me to start. Why is it people think they have a right to comment on your weight at all?

    Two thoughts for you:

    1) It's your body and you know what you feel like and what you really want. If you really want it, go get it and disregard what others say.

    2) Maybe come up with a response for those kinds of comments. Something that clarifies why you still want to lose weight. If they say "you look fine now", you could say something like "yeah, I do, but I'm not going for "fine" - I'm going for great!" Or if they ask why you still want to lose, something like "because even though I feel good about what I've done so far, I know I'll feel even better when I reach my goal. I don't want to be a quitter."

    And congrats to you on your success so far. RIGHT ON!
  • lilgemforgets
    lilgemforgets Posts: 285
    I have the same problem. Everyone keeps telling me i am fine and dont need to lose weight. The problem is i have actually put on 2 stone in a year. Beforehand i perhaps was underweight but now in comparison i feel really fat. i say go for it! If it makes yu feel better then do it!
  • tobielauren
    tobielauren Posts: 184 Member
    How about people asking why you think you need to lose weight...

    I always give the excuse of I need to be in shape for my sport. Or I can't have my athletes being in better shape than me. WTF. I want to lose weight. Why are we punishing people?

    It reminds me of an article from MSNBC about how people are in denial with their weight...How about people are in denial as well about other people's weight?

    http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/01/13057201-fudge-factor-americans-in-denial-about-weight-gain-study-says?lite&__utma=238145375.1655916175.1343941081.1343941081.1343941101.2&__utmb=238145375.4.10.1343941101&__utmc=238145375&__utmx=-&__utmz=238145375.1343941081.1.1.utmcsr=(direct)|utmccn=(direct)|utmcmd=(none)&__utmv=238145375.|8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Chealth=1^12=Landing%20Content=Mixed=1^13=Landing%20Hostname=www.msnbc.msn.com=1^30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Content=Internal%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=101992002

    that's the article
  • alexbusnello
    alexbusnello Posts: 1,010 Member
    I hate that, too!!!!
  • shyrina25
    shyrina25 Posts: 101 Member
    when I was 180 pounds (5'4) no one said a thing about me being on a diet. I got down to 140 and that is when I started to hear you don't need to lose weight ur getting too thin.
  • mzfiyaa
    mzfiyaa Posts: 94 Member
    i hate when people say that its very hard for me to tell people im trying to lose weight im over 200 pounds why wud u tell me i dont need to lose weight .....
  • sarann111
    sarann111 Posts: 16
    Along the same lines, I'm dealing with the people who think that since I've reached my goal I don't need to worry about working out and eating right. Just the other day, my mom called me obsessed for logging food and wearing my fitbit.
  • caitwinmary
    caitwinmary Posts: 18
    It happens to me all the time. People think that I've lost so much already I might as well stop, but thats why I set a goal for MYSELF and I WONT stop till I reach it because thats where I wanna be. Not any one else because its not their body. They can have their own opinions but at the end of the day, its my body.
  • AnnaYESiCANdoIT
    AnnaYESiCANdoIT Posts: 86 Member
    YES! I get sick of hearing it too! I know what my body CAN look like and it doesnt look like that now so Ill do what I want! :)
  • BigAardvaark
    BigAardvaark Posts: 43
    Just learn to ignore. You'll get all kinds of "advice" during your life, some of which is worth listening to but the vast majority isn't. I've learned to just smile now when someone says the likes of "you're wasting away" or "don't get too skinny". When I was obese, folk used to say things like "Yes, but you look healthy and you carry it well being so tall", etc, etc. You really can't win. Just keep on keeping on.....

    I did get a good comment the other day though after I told my neighbour I'd lost almost 4 stone when he commented on me looking slimmer after pulling up on the drive from my bike ride "Good going that, I can still see ya too, nice one"
  • Jewelforyou
    Jewelforyou Posts: 74
    I am within the healthy weight range for my height and am currently just here now for a "5 pound tune-up" but over 10 years ago lost 35 pounds. And I find that often people say this kind of thing because they are making excuses for themselves.

    I have friends that weigh more than me including some that are definitely overweight. When I first was losing weight (and still now) I head similar things from those friends. Like:

    -You don't need to lose weight
    -You look hungry
    - If I were you I don't know if I'd want to lose more weight, I don't want to look "unhealthy"

    And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

    Do what you feel you need to do for YOU and YOUR health. That's what's important.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I have experienced this a lot. I am 250lbs. My goal is to lose 100lbs. When I mention this, my coworkers and in-laws right away say "oh you don't need to lose THAT much, maybe 50lbs, but not 100lbs".

    I do get offended. I wonder "why ask about my goal, if you are just going to disagree with it." and "its my body - not yours" and "i did not know you were a doctor/nutrition specialist".

    I also find it annoying, and in a way, i take it as a way of others trying to sabotage my efforts to success...though i think they are trying to compliment me?
  • ricky_j_b
    ricky_j_b Posts: 64 Member
    are the people asking fit?? If not then maybe they envy your determination.I was told by a person they never thought I needed to loose weight,they then asked me how much I lost,I said over 50 pounds,,they say wow never would have thought that,where was it hiding,lol.
  • Chrizmom
    Chrizmom Posts: 2 Member
    I am starting to encounter this situation. The problem is that I am 40 pounds away from my goal weight! I agree that no one should be commenting on my weight. I think we have just desensitized ourselves to obesity. Does anyone know what a realistic healthy weight would be for a 5' 4" female with a medium build? It is hard to stay focused to get to my goal. However, I don't want to look anorexic either.
  • Cathy_Daydreams
    Cathy_Daydreams Posts: 120
    Yes, so many times.
    I cannot tell you how much it annoys me. I have some friends who the minute I tell them I'm trying to be healthy (I've given up saying going on a diet, it causes too many problems) will wave chocolate bars in front of my face for about half an hour and then I have some friends who when I tell them I need them to stop me eating chocolate if we go out to the shop tell me that I don't need to lose weight and are very stubborn about it.
    Even when I tell them that I my doctor told me I was overweight (just to shut them up, he hasn't really) they tell me he's wrong and that I don't need to diet.
    God it's one of my pet hates :/ I sound like such an angry person now :( I promise I'm not .
  • KendraM1982
    KendraM1982 Posts: 37
    I get this a lot too. Specially online dating sites. I tell them i am losing weight or i have it on my profile somewhere and some guys are telling me, you don't ned to lose anymore weight your fine the way you are.

    Well i have come to this conclusion on their perspectives.

    Other people may not like really skinny people so it's like them saying don't get too skinny, but in a nice way.
    Or they don't have any idea how it feels going through this process. They aren't the one's losing the weight so therefore not able to understand why WE want to lose the weight. Or they aren't in that "I want to lose weight zone/thinking process" Maybe they don't have the courage to start changing their lives for the better.

    Maybe they see US and look at us and think, "wow i don't have that courage to do that" They can't comprehend the idea of actually taking care of themselves so their dumb founded like hmmm what's that? How do you take care of yourself? hmm lol It's their problem not ours.

    Just smile say "i want to continue to lose weight, because i am not at my GOAL weight yet and i am not satisfied with my weight yet." Then walkaway or change the subject.
  • KendraM1982
    KendraM1982 Posts: 37
    I get this a lot too. Specially online dating sites. I tell them i am losing weight or i have it on my profile somewhere and some guys are telling me, you don't ned to lose anymore weight your fine the way you are.

    Well i have come to this conclusion on their perspectives.

    Other people may not like really skinny people so it's like them saying don't get too skinny, but in a nice way.
    Or they don't have any idea how it feels going through this process. They aren't the one's losing the weight so therefore not able to understand why WE want to lose the weight. Or they aren't in that "I want to lose weight zone/thinking process" Maybe they don't have the courage to start changing their lives for the better.

    Maybe they see US and look at us and think, "wow i don't have that courage to do that" They can't comprehend the idea of actually taking care of themselves so their dumb founded like hmmm what's that? How do you take care of yourself? hmm lol It's their problem not ours.

    Just smile say "i want to continue to lose weight, because i am not at my GOAL weight yet and i am not satisfied with my weight yet." Then walkaway or change the subject.

    Akso some men and even women would rather have a person with some meat on their bones.
  • KendraM1982
    KendraM1982 Posts: 37
    I get this a lot too. Specially online dating sites. I tell them i am losing weight or i have it on my profile somewhere and some guys are telling me, you don't ned to lose anymore weight your fine the way you are.

    Well i have come to this conclusion on their perspectives.

    Other people may not like really skinny people so it's like them saying don't get too skinny, but in a nice way.
    Or they don't have any idea how it feels going through this process. They aren't the one's losing the weight so therefore not able to understand why WE want to lose the weight. Or they aren't in that "I want to lose weight zone/thinking process" Maybe they don't have the courage to start changing their lives for the better.

    Maybe they see US and look at us and think, "wow i don't have that courage to do that" They can't comprehend the idea of actually taking care of themselves so their dumb founded like hmmm what's that? How do you take care of yourself? hmm lol It's their problem not ours.

    Just smile say "i want to continue to lose weight, because i am not at my GOAL weight yet and i am not satisfied with my weight yet." Then walkaway or change the subject.

    Also some men and even women would rather have a person with some meat on their bones.

    Also maybe people feel intimitated feel jealous by all of our success with losing weight, so they feel entitled to bring us down to relaity so maybe we won't be so successful with losing weight.
  • LouiseRose92
    LouiseRose92 Posts: 112
    I'm 5'4 and 215 and I'm constantly told I don't need to lose weight. My fiance in particular gets really annoyed when he sees me weighing or logging food.
    My sister asked if I was anorexic because I ate an apple as a snack! In all seriousness! I've only lost 4 pounds so far!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Just don't tell people about it. People are generally self conscious around others trying to lose weight, especially if they are heavier than you and they see you trying, it makes them feel bad about themselves. Just don't talk to people about it, and they'll stay out of your business. They don't need to know anyway.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Just don't tell people about it. People are generally self conscious around others trying to lose weight, especially if they are heavier than you and they see you trying, it makes them feel bad about themselves. Just don't talk to people about it, and they'll stay out of your business. They don't need to know anyway.

    this. a lot of what people say to you in terms of weight loss is more about how they feel about themselves than anything involving you.

    it's easier to just not say anything otherwise you have people second guessing why you're putting cream in your coffee, why you're eating a snickers, why you arent eating cabbage soup, etc.
  • tlo23
    tlo23 Posts: 68
    Amen to that!! That's my philosophy too!
  • tlo23
    tlo23 Posts: 68
    Also...just ignore 'em:wink:
  • missworld95
    missworld95 Posts: 131 Member
    Yes! I hate it so much. I feel like I could just rip my hair out. It's none of their damn business.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    I am within the healthy weight range for my height and am currently just here now for a "5 pound tune-up" but over 10 years ago lost 35 pounds. And I find that often people say this kind of thing because they are making excuses for themselves.

    I have friends that weigh more than me including some that are definitely overweight. When I first was losing weight (and still now) I head similar things from those friends. Like:

    -You don't need to lose weight
    -You look hungry
    - If I were you I don't know if I'd want to lose more weight, I don't want to look "unhealthy"

    And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

    Do what you feel you need to do for YOU and YOUR health. That's what's important.
    ^^^^ this!! ^^^^

    I get it occasionally and it's all from people who are heavier and don't want to feel guilty about their own weight.

    Lay it on thick for them: tell them exactly what numbers you are working towards and what a healthy goal it is, all the things you can do now that you couldn't do before, how great and energetic you feel. Dont let them try to slow you down to feel better about themselves!!
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
    Yess. My husband says I'm obsessed with dieting and because I'm plateauing, he says thats my body's way of telling me I'm thin enough. SO ANNOYING. I am NOT too thin, I'm NOT anorexic, and I'm NOT giving up on my goal weight thank you very much!
  • amyowens08
    amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
    *lose
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    Yes, omg, I've been huge my whole life, I got told "No you're fine the way you are!" but what they don't realise is that they are not the ones who have been made fun of their entire life, they aren't the ones who FEEL the weight, physically and mentally.

    So in saying that, it's not their fault for saying such a thing, because feeling the way they look is all they are used to... but at the same time, in our perspective, it's rude.

    So don't get upset by these comments, think of it as admiration of your progress, either that or they're getting jealous =]
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
    Yes, people say that. No, I'm not sick of it.

    I take it as the compliment they mean it as and thank them.

    Of course, I intend to keep on going with my weight loss but I would never resent someone for saying they think I look skinny!

    I should add that no one has ever said this to me in a mean, spiteful or negative way. If they were being mean and trying to hurt my feelings by saying it, that's another story. Luckily, no one has ever done that to me.

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