sick of being told you don't need to loose weight

I've had that my whole life, and its part of the reason why I found myself 30 lbs overweight at the age of 44.

I am now 6lbs away from being in the lower 3rd of ideal weight for my height and build. That's my goal and I am sticking to it and I am going to try my best to ignore the people that tell me I don't need to lose that last 6lbs. It is irritating though and I feel like it totally diminishes the hard work I've done in the last 6 months.

I have never felt healthier or stronger, and the knee pain I had started to feel has disappeared.

I think another poster, who mentioned that other people are trying to justify their own weight, hit the nail on the head. There's also an element of cognitive dissonance, and us losing weight reminds them that what they do isn't really healthy.

If you're in the normal range for your height and build on the charts, then you're doing just fine.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I'm embarrassed to even talk about losing weight at work. Whenever I mention being on a diet people tell me I look fine, or I don't need to lose weight, or they don't know what I'm worrying about. I'm 30 years old, started my weight loss journey at 183lbs, and I'm just shy of 5'4". I'm not blind, I'm not stupid, and I'm not getting any younger. I DO need to lose weight, and I don't get why people fuss so much about it. I'm not putting myself down my talking about being fat, that's just how it is.

End rant.

A close friend/co-worker and I get that ALL the time. I just ignore them. It's your body and only you will know when you have reached where you want to be and are comfortable with yourself.

I've had some people tell me that, or critique the way I eat, telling me I am starving myself. I am on the Paleo diet for health reasons and I've had people get really angry and critical and tell me I'm killing myself. If I eat grain, I become ill. We're all different. It's not like I hate on their food choices. I really think most of them are just jealous of our willpower.

Granted, there are some people who say it in a totally well meaning way, but that's obvious and I don't take offense to it, it is a compliment.

It happens a lot. I am mother of three & get told all the time, "You look great for having 3 kids don't worry about it." Or my favorite, "You only had your last baby a year ago, give it time it will come off on it's own." My response is usually somehwere along the lines of "I don't want to look good for a mother of 3, I want to look better than you." I have a sarcastic sense of humor so people get my point. But in all honesty it's usually people who are either overweight themselves or have extremly competitive personalities that tell me to stop. Everyone who loves me cheers me on. Just work on the voice inside your head, keep a good circle of people around you & keep your diet & exercise info on a need to know basis.

I understand what you are saying because I have been in both sides.

I have seen my wife loose weight, and i have told her exactly that "she don't need to loose more, because she is getting to thin", just understand that sometimes, it's pure and sincere worry.

It's not jealousy because I'm loosing weight too.

It's not insecurity because I'm pretty sure I have nothing to worry about. Really.

But I am concerned, it's hard for me because I know that the calculations over her height and age she probably can loose a little more, but I assure you, I get genuinely concerned! Even so, I understand.

Not making her life miserable or anything ever, I ask her to eat better when we eat together (and sometimes we both eat salads with little dressings and stuff, no pizzas or burgers) and I don't get between what she eats on mornings or nights, and I won't unless I see she is getting sick or anything.

I just wanted to share, since you are all on the opposite side, it's not always for the wrong reasons.

Now on the other side...

Unless you are feeling ok, and you pay a visit to your doctors and get some general exams and get good results, (haha yeah my wife and I do that often and she is ok that made me feel better), nobody can tell you you shouldn't do as well as you have being doing.

Good job and keep it up! But take care and do go get a checkup sometimes .

I LOVE when people tell me to STOP losing or GAIN weight. I went from 250 to 178. I was between 220 and 280 for the past 15 years.

I think that people just get use to you being fat and that is the way they picture you. Quite honestly, I look at pictures of myself fat and thin, and I CAN'T believe it is me.

Another of my favorites is when friends of friends ask my friends or me, if I am sick. Or they will ask my friends if I am on drugs.

My response is usually a good laugh and a hearty, YES.

I hear you girl!

I think people say ****e like that because they are in denial of their own need to lose some weight. It makes them guilty that you are striving for healthy when they are happily stuck in eating their two favourite food groups, Fried and wrapped.

Is that you in your AV?????????

I wish it was me, but then I would probably have shrunken testicles with all the steroids. So no not me.

I've said this to two people lately. One is a female friend of mine who is not exactly underweight but is on the low side of normal and has a history of anorexia. It's not that I think I can really talk her out of being anorexic, but in a moral sense, I would feel bad about myself if I didn't argue with her distorted view of herself and tell her she looks beautiful right now. Another is a friend who lost about 100 pounds and said he wanted to lose about 10 more. Factually speaking, he did need to lose that in order to get to his healthy goal weight but he LOOKED super skinny compared to the way he did before so I said, "Are you kidding?? You're already so skinny!" I feel bad about saying that to him because why should he settle for anything less than the best but he didn't seem bothered by it. Regarding being skeletal at 5' 5" and 127, that is entirely possible. I am 5' 6" and I know I look skeletal at 135 so my goal is 145. It's because of the way my weight is distributed. My face and top half look super boney, plus when you're older, your skin is thinner, which makes you look even skinnier.

I need to loose 14lbs to reach my target weight.The problem is, it is hard to stay motivated when everyone around me is telling me i don't need to loose weight and I look fine the way I am, I appreciate what they are trying to do, but it has the opposite effect on me. Has anyone else experienced this?

Unless your target weight is bordering on underweight or is detrimental towards your health, ignore them.

And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

This! Although I believe most people have good intentions, they are really just making excuses for themselves. It makes people uncomfortable to see someone taking control of their health and fitness while they are neglecting their own.

It is very similar to the reactions I have gotten after deciding to stop drinking alcohol for health reasons. The people who give me the most grief about it are the ones who are more than likely uncomfortable with their own amount of drinking!

Do what you need to do for yourself, others will come around when they see how awesome you look!

I wish there was a polite way of telling these people to stfu and mind their own business.

Totally agree...

In my case, I need to lose 20 lbs (25 before I started using this site - yay!) to get a healthy weight. So when someone says "you don't need to lose weight, you look fine," I say "I think my doctor is a better judge of that."

I wish there was a polite way of telling these people to stfu and mind their own business.

YES!