Please, somebody tell me this is all worth it!
Gwenski
Posts: 348 Member
Hi . I had a very difficult experience today. As you know I've been working at eating healthy and exercising for 7 months now, with a loss of 69 pounds. It took me a long time to actually start to feel a bit proud of my accomplishments.I am very private, but can accept a compliment.
Today, 'Carla' came to see me at work. While 'Carla' was there.. Kendra arrived. Kendra has had a real problem with her thyroid over the last year or so and gained a considerable amount of weight . Over the past few months, drs. have resolved her issue with meds, and as a result she has lost a large amount of weight quickly... and, effortlessly.
Carla was very surprised to see Kendra looking so well, HUGGED her and gushed on and on about how much weight Kendra lost... while I stood there.. meanwhile.. Carla has NEVER noticed that I have worked very, very hard to lose 69 pounds. Carla and Kendra continued to talk and I was left out of the conversation entirely.. as if, somehow I don't even understand what it's like to lose weight.
Why oh why am I not worth a compliment?? I was wearing nice, flattering clothes (but I will admit they didn't show off my body as much as Kendra's did hers. What really bugs me is that Kendra admitted she didn't have to do a thing to lose the weight.. man, and here I am working away every single day and no one says a word. I know that being healthier is really just for me.. but admit it, if it happened to you, you'd want to explode a little too... gah!!
So glad I have a place like this to let it out. So, my options now are: do something to drop weight more rapidly in hopes that someone will soon say something... give up because it's never going to work anyways, and not matter what I do no one will ever recognize my efforts, compliment, or encourage me..or, just press on and please myself.. I know the answer.. but I admit, I do need some encouragment today.
Today, 'Carla' came to see me at work. While 'Carla' was there.. Kendra arrived. Kendra has had a real problem with her thyroid over the last year or so and gained a considerable amount of weight . Over the past few months, drs. have resolved her issue with meds, and as a result she has lost a large amount of weight quickly... and, effortlessly.
Carla was very surprised to see Kendra looking so well, HUGGED her and gushed on and on about how much weight Kendra lost... while I stood there.. meanwhile.. Carla has NEVER noticed that I have worked very, very hard to lose 69 pounds. Carla and Kendra continued to talk and I was left out of the conversation entirely.. as if, somehow I don't even understand what it's like to lose weight.
Why oh why am I not worth a compliment?? I was wearing nice, flattering clothes (but I will admit they didn't show off my body as much as Kendra's did hers. What really bugs me is that Kendra admitted she didn't have to do a thing to lose the weight.. man, and here I am working away every single day and no one says a word. I know that being healthier is really just for me.. but admit it, if it happened to you, you'd want to explode a little too... gah!!
So glad I have a place like this to let it out. So, my options now are: do something to drop weight more rapidly in hopes that someone will soon say something... give up because it's never going to work anyways, and not matter what I do no one will ever recognize my efforts, compliment, or encourage me..or, just press on and please myself.. I know the answer.. but I admit, I do need some encouragment today.
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Replies
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Are you the lady that wrote that long letter to your mother regarding your weight loss issues and posted it on here asking if you should send it?
Anyways....what do you care what they think? You're doing this for you. Sounds like you have a lot of pent up frustrated emotions regarding your weight. Seek counseling.0 -
first: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! 69 lbs is a ton of weight to lose, and YOU've done it!
second, people who see you everyday, may not notice. You're you, as you've always been. Do not internalize someone else's inability to notice change in YOU. They're the ones walking around with their eyes closed, missing the world around them.
third, people are clueless. That's THEIR shortcoming, not yours.
fourth, people are often rude w/o knowing it. Do not internalize someone else's rudeness. That's THEIR issue, not yours.
fifth, treat yourself to a fun activity not involving food. REWARD YOURSELF for all the effort you've put into losing that much weight.
sixth, YOU are marvelous. YOU are determined, and because of that YOU have been able to do what another person DIDNT do without medical intervention.
seventh, ask yourself do you feel better physically today than seven months ago? Then h*** yes, your hard work was worth it.
eighth, everyone has tough days. This too shall pass. Pick yourself up and move on. DECIDE to be happy, don't look for happiness to come to you via a compliment. True, compliments are nice, so compliment yourself every day
nine, stick to your plan and be happy regardless of what clueless people may or may not say or do.
best wishes for your continued health.0 -
You've got to do this weight loss thing for YOURSELF0
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You are doing this for yourself right? If not you might want to rethink that part out. You are the most important thing and you should not care less what anyone else thinks. If you are looking for pats on the back then go be a volunteer somewhere they are good at getting those.0
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Good lord, people. There's nothing wrong with wanting a compliment. At least she didn't post a stupid "am i hot?" thread.
OP, sometimes when people see you every day, it's harder to notice gradual weight loss. If they hadn't seen you for several months, I'm sure they would have noticed.
Second, I understand the jealousy. Many people I work with have had bariatric surgery and dropped 75-100 pounds in just a couple months. I allowed myself a little bit of jealousy and then prided myself on doing it the old-fashioned way - changing my habits, exercising, and not rearranging my insides.
Think about your improved health, improved joints, how your clothes fit so much better, and all of the other things that come with weight loss. Look at how many people try to lose 5-10 pounds and fail over and over again. You've lost 69 POUNDS in just seven months! That's awesome. Give yourself a pat on the back.
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You already know the answer to that. Of course it's worth it. My question is, why is what Kendra and the other one worth anything to you??
Believe me, I struggled this week with some co-workers but today I realized they just don't matter and I refuse to let them bother me anymore. Yes, it's great and motivating to get compliments but at the end of the day what other people think don't matter. You're not working your butt off for them. You're doing it for yourself.
Hugs....don't let this derail you!0 -
69 pounds is fantastic.
I sympathize. I will agree with the above poster that gradual weight loss is not as noticeable. But maybe to some extent, the fact that your friend's weight problem was because of her thyroid and not because of what people consider "lack of self discipline" or whatever some people attribute being overweight to, that she was more "deserving" of sympathy. People are weird that way. They often will blame you for weight gain, but rarely support you in your efforts to get back to a healthy lifestyle.
But just because people don't notice doesn't mean you have not done something to take immense pride in. I hope you will always give yourself kudos because people around us don't always do.0 -
people don't want to hear that you had to work hard to lose weight. they'd rather hear the 'i didn't do anything and i lost a ton of weight' story because everyone wants instant gratification and they think well if she did it by doing nothing, maybe I can too. Everyone gets almost mad at me when I tell them what I did to lose the weight I've lost - and what I continue to do - no one wants to hear that it's a lifetime committment and you really have to make changes, and stick with them.0
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You've got to do this weight loss thing for YOURSELF
This exactly.0 -
You DO need some encouragement!!!
69 lbs is nothing to scoff at. I've been busting my butt for 2 months and I've only lost 10. For me that feels like forever.
You ARE worth a compliment, even if those shallow women didn't see fit in that occasion to pay you one.
What a great job you're doing!!! Keep going. It IS worth it. Giving yourself the gift of a healthy life and body is always worth it whether or not others appreciate it.0 -
first: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! 69 lbs is a ton of weight to lose, and YOU've done it!
second, people who see you everyday, may not notice. You're you, as you've always been. Do not internalize someone else's inability to notice change in YOU. They're the ones walking around with their eyes closed, missing the world around them.
third, people are clueless. That's THEIR shortcoming, not yours.
fourth, people are often rude w/o knowing it. Do not internalize someone else's rudeness. That's THEIR issue, not yours.
fifth, treat yourself to a fun activity not involving food. REWARD YOURSELF for all the effort you've put into losing that much weight.
sixth, YOU are marvelous. YOU are determined, and because of that YOU have been able to do what another person DIDNT do without medical intervention.
seventh, ask yourself do you feel better physically today than seven months ago? Then h*** yes, your hard work was worth it.
eighth, everyone has tough days. This too shall pass. Pick yourself up and move on. DECIDE to be happy, don't look for happiness to come to you via a compliment. True, compliments are nice, so compliment yourself every day
nine, stick to your plan and be happy regardless of what clueless people may or may not say or do.
best wishes for your continued health.
^^^ This is a great post!! Gwenski, we are all cheering on your success. Keep up the good work, girl! Add me if you want more support on a daily basis. All the best to you 0 -
Are you the lady that wrote that long letter to your mother regarding your weight loss issues and posted it on here asking if you should send it?
Anyways....what do you care what they think? You're doing this for you. Sounds like you have a lot of pent up frustrated emotions regarding your weight. Seek counseling.
Someone needs some sensitivity training... Way to be completely unsupportive and sarcastic.0 -
I'm sorry you feel badly! First, I wouldn't assume that the weight comes off easily when the thyroid is managed. There are many here who would disagree, and I vehemently disagree.
However, 69 lbs is awesome, and you already know that you don't need people at work to validate all of your hard work. You feel it everyday, right?
Also, their leaving you out of the conversation probably has nothing to do with your weight, and probably more to do with interpersonal skills- either theirs or yours.
69 lbs is more than my 7 year old! You are doing a great job- don't let this stop you.0 -
Well done on your 69lb weightloss hun and in answer to your question - YES it is worth it! Put on your old fat clothes and carry a rucksack with 69lbs in it and you will realise how far you have come so far.
And it is true because they see you all the time they most probably havent noticed but you are doing really, really well and as long as you are doing it for yourself and not for others then be proud of your achievements.0 -
Please do not let these coworkers sabotage your experience. Do no give in to them, and do not give up because of them.
I only WISH i was at a 70lb loss like yourself - that is incredible, and it takes a long time and effort to achieve this.
Congratulations on your loss - keep it up, and be proud of yourself! You deserve to.0 -
I have gone through exactly the same thing --- well, my partner lost like 40 lbs RAPIDLY due to a thyroid condition & other issues, so it irks me to no end, (NO END!) when we are somewhere and of course it's obvious she lost weight - but for instance, when we're shopping and buying health stuff and people start talking to her like she's the one using them (I mean couldn't possibly be MY FAT *kitten* right?) ... I get so annoyed. Or when I'm out walking with her and someone once asked if she was a trainer ... ok, that was the day I almost out loud said "WTF!" for real...because I have to slow my *kitten* down for her, are you kidding me!?
But I just remind myself, she's sick. she is sick...I'm healthy, I've done everything the right way. and in the end, (or towards our end haha) it's going to be 100% better for me that I did this the right way. I may even have a longer time to the "end" than someone who's sick and is taking medicine and can't possibly absorb nutrients or whatever is going on in their whacked out body. I am, after all, weight loss or not, thankful it didn't happen to me.
I'm rambling, but I know!
It's just recently our neighbors have commented on my weight loss, which makes me feel better. But, I'm always solo - standing next to her scrawny skinny *kitten*, I doubt they'd notice. LOL!!!
do it for health! do it knowing you're not sick with a chronic disorder! It feels good and smile on the inside! you'll get your glory day! I bet your friend wishes she'd have a healthy functioning body too....so, you never know she may be envious of you!0 -
you are doing fantastic! You will have yourself to thank when you reach all of your goals which will be a much better feeling than one where you took a pill and magically lost weight. This is a big journey for those of us who have a lot to lose it is an emotional as well as physical journey. Don't focus on what other people think, focus on what you know, you have lost almost 70 pounds! Yahooooo! That rocks and you rock!0
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I understand where you are coming from. I have had that happen as well. It is worth it because with working out and eating healthy you are most likely healthier on the inside than she is, considering she "didn't have to do a thing".0
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You've lost almost 10lbs a month? That is freaking awesome and you should be very proud of yourself. And yes the effort is worth it because you won't need a lifetime of meds to stay healthy. Don't let insensitive dips bring you,down. Stand tall. Breathe deep. You got this.0
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69 pounds in 7 months? You, m'lady, are amazing! I can only hope that I am as successful as you. You don't know me from Adam, and it may not mean much, but you are inspiring. You show it CAN be done and yes, it is worth it! Don't let two insensitive clods get you down. A lot of people must notice, but not everyone knows what to say or if it might offend you. Hold your head high! I bet you look absolutely spectacular! Take care, and hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day!0
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Are you the lady that wrote that long letter to your mother regarding your weight loss issues and posted it on here asking if you should send it?
Anyways....what do you care what they think? You're doing this for you. Sounds like you have a lot of pent up frustrated emotions regarding your weight. Seek counseling.
Ya, I just looked at her past posts and read that letter.
I mean this in the best possible way, but OP I do think maybe you should seek some counseling. As the above poster said, you seem to have a lot of issues and emotions about your weight. Wish you the best!0 -
Are you the lady that wrote that long letter to your mother regarding your weight loss issues and posted it on here asking if you should send it?
Anyways....what do you care what they think? You're doing this for you. Sounds like you have a lot of pent up frustrated emotions regarding your weight. Seek counseling.
Someone needs some sensitivity training... Way to be completely unsupportive and sarcastic.
If you saw the post I'm referring to you'd understand. Some people need emotional counseling to deal with their food issues. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help for your overall well-being!0 -
First of all a HUGE Congratulations on losing 69 pounds. That is no small job. YOU did all that by yourself...no meds , no medical issue. Take the credit for all that hard work . I can relate to your post because i have lost 29lb in the last 2 months and i am totally surprised that most people havent said a word to me about it. Im not looking for their approval because what they think of me means nothing to me. Just surprised that its not noticable.
You have to think about why you decided to get healthy....and not to be noticed. I wouldnt let it keep taking up space in your thoughts. It sucked , it happened and let it go. YOU are AWESOME losing 69 pounds already and please dont give up due to insensitve people.. Just keep on your journey and dont worry about what others are thinking of you.0 -
Thank you so much for your encouragement and wise advice! Everyone hasa bad day once in a while...it was my turn today..thanks for listening and understanding! All the best for your progress!0
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Thanks so much for the encouragement! You helped make a bad day turn around ...everyone needs that now and then. You blessed me today! Thanks again and all the best for a happy, healthy weekend for you!0
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Thank you so much for helping me turn my frown upside down! A few rough moments shouldn't spoil 200 + good days I've had this year! Thank you so much for the 'boost'...and, if you ever need one, just holler!0
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Wow, congrats on the big 69 pound weight loss! I know it is tough. I have a lifetime of being too thin skinned. Now i try hard to remind myself that "What they say or think is NONE of my business." This helps me a lot, so I thought i'd share it in case it might help you too.
"If you're tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!" I saw this on a Pal's post and it made so much sense. Giving up has been too easy in the past. Now I am accountable to my pal's on this site.
Yes, the health benefits are certainly worth it for me. I need to remind myself of that too. The weight loss is going to be great also, but I have a long way to go.:drinker:
I am going to invite you to be a friend. xoxoxo 0 -
Hi . I had a very difficult experience today. As you know I've been working at eating healthy and exercising for 7 months now, with a loss of 69 pounds. It took me a long time to actually start to feel a bit proud of my accomplishments.I am very private, but can accept a compliment.
Today, 'Carla' came to see me at work. While 'Carla' was there.. Kendra arrived. Kendra has had a real problem with her thyroid over the last year or so and gained a considerable amount of weight . Over the past few months, drs. have resolved her issue with meds, and as a result she has lost a large amount of weight quickly... and, effortlessly.
Carla was very surprised to see Kendra looking so well, HUGGED her and gushed on and on about how much weight Kendra lost... while I stood there.. meanwhile.. Carla has NEVER noticed that I have worked very, very hard to lose 69 pounds. Carla and Kendra continued to talk and I was left out of the conversation entirely.. as if, somehow I don't even understand what it's like to lose weight.
Why oh why am I not worth a compliment?? I was wearing nice, flattering clothes (but I will admit they didn't show off my body as much as Kendra's did hers. What really bugs me is that Kendra admitted she didn't have to do a thing to lose the weight.. man, and here I am working away every single day and no one says a word. I know that being healthier is really just for me.. but admit it, if it happened to you, you'd want to explode a little too... gah!!
So glad I have a place like this to let it out. So, my options now are: do something to drop weight more rapidly in hopes that someone will soon say something... give up because it's never going to work anyways, and not matter what I do no one will ever recognize my efforts, compliment, or encourage me..or, just press on and please myself.. I know the answer.. but I admit, I do need some encouragment today.
Why so obsessed with the compliments? It's all about you. Not about everybody else. We have a Kendra and Carla in my dept. I can't say I'm either. We both work our *kitten* off to get where we are at. I don't beg for compliments. I get them whenever and enjoy them when I get them. Sometimes, people don't want to compliment you because they have to admit to themselves that that have failed.0 -
Congrats on you weight loss. You are just having a bad day. Keep in mind, you are doing this journey for you and no one else. Yes you worked hard to weigh less, but you are getting your blood moving, increasing your chances for a healthy heart, getting out of the diabetic range. There are a host of positives to what you are doing. Keep up the good work and keep pushing on. You know who you are and what you are doing. You dont need the compliments of others you see yourself everyday and you see how you look in your clothes.:flowerforyou:0
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Keep it up you're doing great! Besides...I honestly thing that 69 lbs anyone WILL notice, but people don't really think that much about what they say or not say. Don't take it to heart! Besides, I'm sure you have felt great because you are working out! That makes you stronger and happier overall! Just let the mirror compliment you! You are a great inspiration and ALL OF US have days where we think it's not worth it, but there are good days too. I use to think why don't I have the money to get lipo, or breast implants, or to get those body sculpting massages celebrities get? But at the end of the day the feeling of being fit and healthy because you are making a personal effort is soooo rewarding. Keep it up!0
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