Would you ever date someone with facial disfigurement?

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  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    You are surprisd by your reaction?

    WOW, he deserves SO much better than you.
  • Montanarush
    Montanarush Posts: 76
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    What if something happened to you, and took away your beauty? Would you want to be shunned because of your looks? Too many skin-deep people anymore... hope you don't judge the man by his looks, instead of his content.
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    My last ex boyfriend had treacher collins syndrome, but that never changed how I felt about him. Like you, I was always quite superficial, apart from mark the only boys I had ever dated were boys who were on the football team, the 'hot' popular guys lol. I don't know when I met mark, something changed inside of me, we clicked instantly and I loved him for who he was. I still love him, and I would get back with him if he promised to treat me better. I didn't care what my friends and family thought, everyone was saying I could do better but they didn't really know him. My point is, I understand why you're confused, I didn't understand why I liked him but if you have a connection and you are attracted to him, then you never know what could happen.
  • petiteLady89
    petiteLady89 Posts: 198 Member
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    I have always been attracted to men who aren't considered "good looking" by society standard. So I can't really give you any advice or anything. It's not that I go out looking for them. Their personalities just really attract me. They become good looking once I get to know them.

    I've had a lot of really bad experiences with good looking men. The ones I met, personally, did not have a very good personality. I guess they think their good looks give them a free pass to not be such a nice person.
  • 3LittleMonkeyMom
    3LittleMonkeyMom Posts: 259
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    Most definitely I would. The attraction for me is more personality than looks.

    If a guy is a jerk, it doesn't matter if he's pretty when his mouth is shut.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    For me it might depend on whether or not it's a genetic defect and whether or not the person was open to adoption. If it's not genetic, I wouldn't rule a person out if every other aspect is great and the disfigurement doesn't gross me out. However, if it is genetic and the person isn't open to adoption, I'd say no. I want to make sure my kids have the best possible life, and that includes not giving them known heritable diseases or defects. Life can be hard enough as it is, I'm not going to set them up with difficulties right from the start, you know?
  • mermx
    mermx Posts: 976
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    To the OP, when I first read this post I was thinking that maybe you were very young, then I checked your profile that you are 39!

    I think you should take a long hard look at yourself if you are worrying about flaws in other people at your age! I am not saying that you are not pretty or anything ike that, but, I think as we get older and experience more of life then we should get wiser and lose some of the supeficial traits that we had when we were younger.

    Bottom line, if you are going to see him as a guy with a disfigured face then move on...if you are going to see him as a great guy who you have an attraction to, then go for it!
  • BrandiL83
    BrandiL83 Posts: 100 Member
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    I have been with my husband for almost 8 years (married a little over a year) and he has a birth defect. He was born with cerebral palsy. His right arm can't extend all the way and his fingers spasm/move all the time when he is awake. When I first met him I wasn't sure about the whole thing. I got to know him and 8 years and 2 kids later here we are. My point is, if he's a nice guy and you are interested in him give him a chance. Could be the best decision you ever make :)

    I hope i didn't date your husband before you married him! LOL (see my response to the OP... lol!)

    lol nope his is his right ;)
  • Byemma
    Byemma Posts: 55
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    My ex-boyfriend got burned in his neck and had a big scar in his neck. It isn't really his face, but you did see it. I really didn't care about it and all of the people we knew didn't care. I guess if you like the person enough, it isn't important, as long as you feel good when you're with them.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    He sounds great. And I agree, he deserves better.

    With all those good qualities, a small defect shouldn't detract a person.
  • vbrent07
    vbrent07 Posts: 115
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    Yes, looks aren't everything! As long as they treat you right who cares!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    it wouldn't affect my decision.

    i don't care about scars or anything, they don't bother me because i have a lot.
  • I_love_frogs
    I_love_frogs Posts: 340 Member
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    My grandma always said " When it comes to people, remember this... Looks will always fade, but what is on the inside will last till the end."

    The older I get the more I see that she was right. I have never gone for "cute". I have always gone for the guys that made me laugh, made me smile, made me feel good about me, and most of all made me happy. All the guys I have ever fallen for have not been the handsomest by any means (in my eyes they were), they were more average or guy next door type....but have had amazing personalities.
  • AlotOfSweatAndPain
    AlotOfSweatAndPain Posts: 234 Member
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    I honestly dont know if I would. It's easy to be politically correct online and just say of course I will. Like some of the others have said. I would have to be drawn in by their personality no doubt.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    My husband has severe skin issues, when it flares up people properly stare at him, people make comments to his face. It sucks. I love him anyway.

    My boyfriend also. He is sometimes really self conscious about it. I think he is the sexiest most desirable man I have ever met. I don't even notice his skin. He loves me and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world regardless of how i feel about myself. He's incredibly intelligent, funny and the best dad to his son that I have ever seen! Looks fade, we all age,sag and wrinkle but who we are as people is where true beauty resides ;)
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
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    Thanks for all your responses. Even the 'holier than thou' ones. Obviously I said yes because I value him as a person. I'm just being honest. After all, some people don't date people because their fat...and most people can lose weight. It affects his teeth and and his cheek and well - I know for a fact that some people wouldn't even give him the time of day - just to get to know him which is horrible, but it's naive to think that looks don't factor in.
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
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    Thanks for all your responses. Even the 'holier than thou' ones. Obviously I said yes because I value him as a person. I'm just being honest.

    Yeah I'm not sure why you are taking some heat... I think your question was very honest and one ANYONE would consider. It's just the 'politically correct' crowd who feel the need to make people feel bad for having perfectly normal reactions to situations.

    I think you're sweet and he probably does too.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    Yeah if she had big hoots.














    Ok see I can't even make that joke without feeling guilty.
    My bad.
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
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    Thanks for all your responses. Even the 'holier than thou' ones. Obviously I said yes because I value him as a person. I'm just being honest.

    Yeah I'm not sure why you are taking some heat... I think your question was very honest and one ANYONE would consider. It's just the 'politically correct' crowd who feel the need to make people feel bad for having perfectly normal reactions to situations.

    I think you're sweet and he probably does too.

    Like ANYONE my initial reactions are often based on the superficial... looks, dress, voice, accent... you name it... but then (like ANYONE) I get to know the person and like (or dislike) them for a WHOLE OTHER set of reasons.

    This is normal human behaviour.

    A wonderful person with a less than perfect body will hold my attention a LOT better than an awful person with a perfect body.
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
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    Would you ever date someone with facial disfigurement?

    No. Because my husband frowns on me dating other people.

    pffft. I cannot believe this thread is even getting legitimate responses. Totally offensive.

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