Friends avoiding you?

shani251
shani251 Posts: 145 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
This is really strange, but does anyone else have real-life friends who seem to be avoiding them since they have lost weight? I have a few here at work and unfortunately some in my family too! How heartbreaking :sad:
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Replies

  • Toxictwist
    Toxictwist Posts: 274
    Sure do. & these are the friends that don't want to be healthy. The only thing that they would want to do is go eat at random restaurants
  • shani251
    shani251 Posts: 145 Member
    Exactly! i just find it so weird, especially with my family! Basically my best friend (who is a sister in law to be) has been avoiding me like the plague for a few months now and won't say why; i think she's thinking that i judge her because i eat healthy, but i'm not and never would.
    Just awful :brokenheart:
  • LifestyleChange33
    LifestyleChange33 Posts: 169 Member
    Don't take it personally- your newfound health calls out their lack of health and makes them face a decision they don't want to face (to get healthy, or not to make the effort to get healthy), which can lead to guilt.
  • laura4smith
    laura4smith Posts: 24 Member
    I am not sure why a friend of mine decided to avoid me, but ... you aren't alone. :-) It hurts. But what growth comes without pain?

    I have figured I can learn from the situation and allow myself grow as a person. If I can do it, so can you. :-) Right?
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    No, but I don't try to push what I do on them, and I never judge them for not doing what I do. I also try not to talk about fitness stuff alll the time.. I'm lucky to have good friends and family who have all been supportive.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    I have it the other way around, I avoid certain people now because they can't do anything social without food.
  • MurphysLawTD
    MurphysLawTD Posts: 310 Member
    Jealousy???

    Depending on how regimented you are, people might not want to "infringe" upon your lifestyle. My boyfriend doesn't drink alcohol or eat carbs but 1 day a week, and NO ONE wants him to come out!! Not even me half the time!! :blushing:
  • 1SlimShaylee
    1SlimShaylee Posts: 204
    haters gunna hate!!
  • DantiaX
    DantiaX Posts: 23 Member
    I have this problem too. It makes me sad. But, the truth is that they are jealous and know they should be doing what you are and aren't. Don't let it get to you. You're doing amazing and the best you can do for YOU. Sometimes you just gotta do you. =)
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    It did seem that way, but then I started showering regularly, and my friends came back. Turns out, it wasn't them, it was ME!
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    Fortunately for me I married my only friend.
    So far she doesn't avoid me very much.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    Yuuuuup my mom!

    She was supportive at first until I asked her to start exercising and eating better with me...then it was radio silence!

    Months later, I'll write her an email, one sentence will be "have you lost weight? can you run farther now?" something like that and she always ignores it.

    My sister is just flat out pissed off and jealous of me, she's kind of mean about it. But she can suck a lemon I've earned this body!

    And some of the heavier ladies at work call me thin as a stick now/bony, when really, I'm at my college weight and they only have known me at +200lbs. It's frustrating.
  • shani251
    shani251 Posts: 145 Member
    It did seem that way, but then I started showering regularly, and my friends came back. Turns out, it wasn't them, it was ME!

    LOL now THAT is funny :laugh:
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    Yup. sure do. their loss. aaaaannnnddd moving on . . .
  • LaSweetMini
    LaSweetMini Posts: 157 Member
    YESSSSSSSSSSSSS I currently have no friends since I lost weight :( I mean, I have the same friends but they never call or ask to hang out anymore :cry:
  • carltonJC
    carltonJC Posts: 10
    I have it the other way around, I avoid certain people now because they can't do anything social without food.

    Exactly, I avoid certain people...they only eat Mcdonalds/Buffets. Only time they want to "Catch up" is over food, and they refuse healthy :/
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    my family just makes fun of my weight loss efforts. They say mean hurtful things all the time and talk about me behind my back. stuff like "oh she must eat like a pig when we're not around" or "you're just not working hard enough! If you really want to lose weight just don't eat and run more" What they don't get is that I have to work 10x harder than they do to see just 1/10 the results they would due to my hormone problems :(
  • aligatorwww
    aligatorwww Posts: 48 Member
    I saw this on Oprah a few years ago. It's basically their own self-loathing for not being committed to their own success.

    It's sad, but I found that if you have only ONE real friend in your lifetime, you are lucky.
  • ohmykai
    ohmykai Posts: 210 Member
    Their Just jealous. I would just take it with a grain of salt... I know easier said then done.. Maybe try and get them to join you on fitness activities, walks, etc?
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Well I've been avoiding my other friends because I'm the only one that is single and they have boyfriends. My "best friend" has a husband and a baby and although its a lot of work she literally pushed me a side. I would text her every day and try to call her every weekend so I can go see the baby, but she would always make up some excuse. So I let her be. Then later I found out that she is not all the busy because she is going out to parties. So you don't have time for your only friend that waited for your child to be born at the hospital for more than 13 hours straight, but you have time for parties. A few months passed by and now she needs me because I don't know what and I don't bother to pick up the phone or text her because I am the one that's busy now. I have joined a gym and made a few new friends and I'm usually tired all the time. So yeah, I kinda don't have time for her now and her apologies. I know, I sound like a B-I-T-C-H but stuff happens.
  • Chanita1116
    Chanita1116 Posts: 29
    This is really strange, but does anyone else have real-life friends who seem to be avoiding them since they have lost weight? I have a few here at work and unfortunately some in my family too! How heartbreaking :sad:

    That's really weird. But I wonder if they were the same one's telling you that if you eat this or that just once it won't hurt you or make you mess up.
  • WendyFitMomCHANGED
    WendyFitMomCHANGED Posts: 311 Member
    I've noticed I don't get invited out to lunch anymore since I'm eating clean and working out a bunch. Oh well, the office usually goes to fattening resturaunts anyway. :)
  • ShyFeather
    ShyFeather Posts: 138 Member
    ... I would have needed friends to start with *forever alone*
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    Not when I lost weight, but I had a best friend who started avoiding me or getting really p*ssy with me after I got a boyfriend and she was single at the time. Eight months later I kicked her *kitten* to the curb because not only was she jealous but she was trying to ruin my relationship just because she didn't have one. I can guarantee if she was still around in my life she'd be pulling the same stunt with my weight loss because while she's not heavy like I am, she is chunky and out of shape and she thinks she eats healthy just because something has "soy" or "wheat" written on it.
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
    My wife :(
  • papate
    papate Posts: 67 Member
    Ditto, sure do. But then I have a great friend who is my "diet buddy". We keep each other accountable, we encourage, motivate, commiserate, all of it together. That is a great friend to have.
    :happy:
  • medicinemantoo
    medicinemantoo Posts: 160
    It's an odd situation, but i got fired from my last job because of a supervisor (approx 475lbs) that was told by his doctor to go on a diet. There was a bunch of us that were overweight and a few of us took on weight loss and getting into shape seriously; he (that supervisor) gave up. many of us lost our job in the past 7 months. gee, you think there is any corralation? we don't. who quit, who didn't...but "we're" feeling great and in super shape compared to where we were; a life style change and loving it!!!! it's like money, you learn who your friends are. but it's a good thing!
  • SafioraLinnea
    SafioraLinnea Posts: 628 Member
    I have had mixed results.
    Some people have been avoiding me, and that is their choice.
    Some people have been trying to follow my lifestyle changes and I've supported them as best I can, while knowing that this is completely up to them to take the changes responsibly.
    Some people have been trying to follow it and intentionally lie about all sorts of things, eat irresponsibly and don't document it, and then they wonder why I'm seeing results and they aren't.
    And some people just don't care either way, which is fine too.

    I also have experienced wanting to avoid certain people (particularly the ones who put on the facade of making the change) but life is too short and I'm having too much success to let the naysayers and pooh-poohers get me down.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    It happens. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, but it happens.
  • rllewell
    rllewell Posts: 234
    Yes some friends will avoid you because you are a slap in their face as to why they are not eating healthy and getting fit. I wouldn't push anything on them but if they ask what you are doing FOCUS on telling them ONLY what YOU have implemented in your lifestyle change. Hopefully a light turns on!

    I will admit I do avoid a few people that I feel can't get together without food or alcohol being involved. I just don't need those temptations in my face.

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