Help me to not kill my mother

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124

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  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I have absolutely nothing helpful to contribute. My mother let my 19 year old boyfriend move in with us when I was 15. She's cooler than me, if I'm being honest.
    That's not cool. That's criminal.
    Not in the state of Tejas. So yea, still cool.
  • alerica1
    alerica1 Posts: 310 Member
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    really easy. I don't talk to my mother. I'm much happier now.
    I went for a long time without talking to my mother.....I thought I was happy too.....now she has dementia.....now I'm sad.
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
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    Are you SUREEEEE you want to move in with your BF???!!!!!! Geez there are some days I'd give anything for an empty house and some G.D. peace and quiet!!!! :laugh:
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
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    Hey you did the right thing, you told her! Now you don't have to worry about her finding out some other way!!

    Good luk,

    Basil
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    really easy. I don't talk to my mother. I'm much happier now.
    I went for a long time without talking to my mother.....I thought I was happy too.....now she has dementia.....now I'm sad.
    :frown: I'm sorry.
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
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    Simple. She won't have the new address. Tell her on the phone. If she reacts horribly, do not share your address. Always meet in a mutual, public location when she comes to visit. HAHA!!

    (And drive home slowly, using unnecessary turns to make sure she isn't following you...if you feel the need lol)


    PS. My parents were not exactly "for" my living in sin, either, but they didn't disown me or anything. And they didn't spend every single moment we were together lecturing me either.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    So I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Nbd you say. NAY SAY I. My mother is absolutely the scariest person I've ever met. Or been birthed from. She lives in Florida, about 20 hours away from me. I'm contemplated not telling her, but I'm scared that she'll have a dream about it or she'll get her spidey sense going and pray about it and God's going to give me away. (Yes, I'm dead serious.) So I guess I have to kil.... tell her.

    So of those living in sin like I'm going to do shortly, how did you tell your parents? Hopefully they're as scary as my mother.

    :drinker: <--- I just really wanted to put that in somewhere.

    I would tell her. Let her know that you know she may not agree with this but this is your decision. She needs to respect that you are a big girl and this is your choice. Maybe if you are up front with her she will be more understanding??? I'm sorry you are so scared of your mom........I hope your relationship gets better. Life is short, you never know when you have your last moment talking or spending with her. Hope it all goes well :)
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Yes, moms know everything. I can tell when my son has a new girlfriend even when he's across the world in the Peace Corps. But if he tells me I'm wrong, I tend to believe him. My spidey sense could be wrong. So you could just lie, only give her your cell phone number, and never let your boyfriend pick up the phone.

    Or you could tell her, have her throw a fit or - worse still - make you feel guilty by looking sad, miserable and disappointed for weeks. And making cutting remarks for a long time. And stop answering the phone when you see it's her until she starts behaving herself.

    "You're a slut!"

    "Oh, sorry mom, there's some water boiling! I'll talk to you later!" Click.

    She'll eventually give up.

    Long term the second is easier. JMHO.

    You're an adult. If it's not this, she'll nail you on something else. It's your life.
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
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    Be an adult. Tell her. When she starts to say she's going to pray tell her that you are fine but if she wants to focus some prayers there are plenty of impoverished kids who could use them. If she starts to rant about it tell her that you are an adult and she needs to deal with the fact that you will make your own decisions and she won't always agree with them. If she continues to harp on and on about it tell her that you'd really like to have a nice conversation but if she can't say anything nice then she shouldn't say anything at all and if she continues you will end the conversation and try again later. She'll either stop or continue. If she stops - congratulations. If she continues say "I'm sorry mom but this topic is closed. Since you can't seem to talk about anything else I will go now and try again in a few days" (or however long between times when you usually talk to her.

    ^^^ THIS!!!!! you cannot reinforce her negativity by listening to her when she starts talking about how disappointed she is in you. that is when you end the conversation each and every time. no listening, no arguing, just end it. You are an adult. You can handle this!
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    Or you could just skip the chit chat and....

    :bigsmile:
  • Adleheid77
    Adleheid77 Posts: 16
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    Are you SUREEEEE you want to move in with your BF???!!!!!! Geez there are some days I'd give anything for an empty house and some G.D. peace and quiet!!!! :laugh:

    This. LMAO
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    I love my mommy.


    Tell her, and she'll have to deal with it. Not much else she can do.

    Diddo- I love my mommy too!!! I am so thankful we have a wonderful relationship. We live 3 hours away from each other, I wish we lived closer. :(
  • Prettylittlelotus
    Prettylittlelotus Posts: 239 Member
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    Ah, sorry to hear about this. My mother is crazy, but she's crazy in the other direction.

    First, my advice to you is to be honest about who you are and what YOU think is right. You don't need to go around with lies weighing you down, it's too hard.

    Second, if you're afraid to tell her before you move in, tell her afterward. "Oops, I didn't realize it was a sin! Why didn't God tell me, I prayed about it, and He gave me His blessing." or "Well, God loves me no matter what I do, mom. I'm one of his children, he is more worried about the people that are actually sinning."

    Or if you really want to get down to it, you could mention that the bible also says women aren't supposed to speak in church, or wear makeup. Does she do either of those things, because if so, she's a sinner. :devil:
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    5dtite.jpg
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    really easy. I don't talk to my mother. I'm much happier now.
    I went for a long time without talking to my mother.....I thought I was happy too.....now she has dementia.....now I'm sad.
    :frown: I'm sorry.

    Life is too short. You never know when you have that last converstion, that last moment with a loved one. Don't take it for granted, spend every day as it were your/their last. :( Sorry to hear this
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    The first time my mom met my BF she said "he is good for dating right now but not for anything long-term". My mom has been married and divorced 5 times since my dad and is the last person in the world I would take relationship advice from . For example, she's found a keeper, but begged me and my two best friends not to mention any marriages of hers because she didn't tell him about all of them. She is living a wonderful relationship based on a lie.

    By the way, my boyfriend is freaking amazing and the man of my dreams. I spend every moment, lunch break and event I possibly can with him!
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
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    5dtite.jpg


    I'm dying!
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    k065gk.jpg
  • TeeA86
    TeeA86 Posts: 102 Member
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    I know exactly what you are talking about... my momma is the same way and God tells her stuff too! Seriously! lol. I would just tell her... my mom doesnt agree with half the stuff I do and corrects me alot but I am about to be 26, have a 8 year old daughter, own my own house and car, and pay my own bills.... so with that being said she just has to love you. My mom does and she has gotten better over the years. She will do non stop prayer if she is anything like my family. I have had my older sister praying to remove my ex out of my life because we were "living in sin" and we broke up. Lol. She might be disappointed but she will get over it..... Good luck and update us. Oh my mom now has a facebook and we are friends..... watching my every move! lol. I love her to pieces!
  • katrwal
    katrwal Posts: 336 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    LOL - Yoovie, you kill me :laugh:

    My sister had a great threat when my mom & dad went off the deep end when she moved in with her boyfriend: "get over it now or never get to see the wedding that will eventually happen or the children we will eventually have. I'll tell them that I was raised by wolves."

    Mom & Dad gave in.

    of course, now my sister, her hubby, their kids & the dogs live with my mom & dad since she and he are waiting each other out to see who is going to cave and get a job first, but that's a consequence I'm sure your mom doesn't have to worry about...

    either way - tell or don't tell - make the choice that will take you closest to happy.

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