over protective parents
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I let my son have sleep overs. I don't let him sleep out. I know what goes on in my house. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's.
Good things his friend's parents aren't over protective or they wouldn't be allowed over at your house and your son would never have anyone to play with.
With young kids it is important to know their friend's parents so you can allow your child to experience some freedom. Growing up my friends and I were constantly over at each other's houses all the time because our parents knew each other. There is no reason it can't be the same today.
And once the kids get older (teenagers), at some point we need to be able to trust them. Will they get hurt and make stupid decisions? Yes, but that is how we learn. We need to let our kids learn through experience as well.
Right because sleep overs at 7 are a vital part of growing up. And playing during the hours of the day when he is awake doesn't count? What will happen to my child if he's not allowed to sleep at someones house. Oh NO!!!! He's 7. Lots of **** could happen to a 7 year old. He isn't 14. But hey, you raise yours how you want and I will raise mine how I want. Thanks. :drinker:
As parents, we certainly have the right to raise our kids as we see fit and I do understand wanting to keep them safe. I'm not saying it will scar him not to spend the night at 7, but keep in mind a lot of **** can happen to a 14yr old too. As a father of 3 (15, 12, and 7), I can say there is not an age where you suddenly feel ok letting them out of your site, but at some point you have to.0 -
Sorry, no matter how protective you are of their kids, bad *kitten* can still happen. Children get abducted daily from their own homes. You can put your child on a leash, and they can still get hit by a car. Or struck by lightning. Or, you could get carjacked and your kid can get ripped away from you in front of your eyes.Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.
I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.
Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.
That's a really unfair statement.
Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.
The world is a sh!tty place, but it's also a wonderful place. I'm not going to deprive my child of his childhood just because there's a bunch of sh!theads running loose.
It's not an unfair statement, it's true.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
How would you know that's what she wants or is doing?? Seems a bit of a leap...
We communicate regularly. Because we both are going thru similar situations
You and HIM do... not you and her (based on what you've said). You're getting one side of the story.
I would agree but I've seen it for myself. If her kid does sumthn she blames everyone but her kid. Gives her kid a hug and tells her it will be ok.....smdh
Well, perhaps she's of the camp "Everyone Gets a Trophy!" ...cause we all know that's a great idea :happy:0 -
Will you be my mommy?Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.
I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.
Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.
That's a really unfair statement.
Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.
Could happen is not the same thing as will happen. You deprive your child of independence if you fail to teach them how to evaluate and accept risk.
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Will you be my mommy?Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.
I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.
Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.
That's a really unfair statement.
Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.
Could happen is not the same thing as will happen. You deprive your child of independence if you fail to teach them how to evaluate and accept risk.
:laugh: :laugh: You're about the same age as my sister! She always said I was her second mom.:laugh: :laugh:0 -
I let my son have sleep overs. I don't let him sleep out. I know what goes on in my house. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's.
Good things his friend's parents aren't over protective or they wouldn't be allowed over at your house and your son would never have anyone to play with.
With young kids it is important to know their friend's parents so you can allow your child to experience some freedom. Growing up my friends and I were constantly over at each other's houses all the time because our parents knew each other. There is no reason it can't be the same today.
And once the kids get older (teenagers), at some point we need to be able to trust them. Will they get hurt and make stupid decisions? Yes, but that is how we learn. We need to let our kids learn through experience as well.
Right because sleep overs at 7 are a vital part of growing up. And playing during the hours of the day when he is awake doesn't count? What will happen to my child if he's not allowed to sleep at someones house. Oh NO!!!! He's 7. Lots of **** could happen to a 7 year old. He isn't 14. But hey, you raise yours how you want and I will raise mine how I want. Thanks. :drinker:
As parents, we certainly have the right to raise our kids as we see fit and I do understand wanting to keep them safe. I'm not saying it will scar him not to spend the night at 7, but keep in mind a lot of **** can happen to a 14yr old too. As a father of 3 (15, 12, and 7), I can say there is not an age where you suddenly feel ok letting them out of your site, but at some point you have to.
I wasn't promoting locking him in the house until he's of college age. I just think 7 is a bit young for sleepovers. However, if other parents are comfortable- by all means, your kid can sleep at my house.
And, I let my kids sleep at their aunts houses, my parents house and my best friends house. Other than that, I think he's a bit too young. I will let him go one day. Just not now, when he's 7.0 -
Goodness me. Overprotective because the kids' mum doesn't believe in spanking or corporal punishment? I do NOT think that smacking is ever good discipline. I know, most of us were spanked and we didn't come to any harm, but in principle, the idea of physical punishment does not sit well with me (worked with kids/teens most of my career). I won't say it's child abuse, but I do think it is an adult abusing power over a child to inflict physical pain on them. I realise some will disagree with me, and that's fine. I was smacked myself as a child occasionally, and no lasting damage was done, but interestingly my parents now regret the use of smacking and are horrified they ever did it - they probably feel worse about it than I ever did! I would not be letting anyone smack my kids if I did not choose to use that form of discipline as a parent.
Nonetheless children do need discipline and consequences to their actions (both positive and negative) and consistency. A bratty child that gets away with murder is not a nice child to be around, so perhaps some alternative consequences need to be discussed for actions that are not being sufficiently dealt with by a time out and talking to - I'd suggest by 7 years old privilege removal (TV, computer time etc) would be more appropriate than time outs.
I remember staying the night at a friend's house when I was around 9 and I didn't cope very well with it and I didn't stay at a friend's house again for another year or so. I guess I just wasn't ready. I was by no means a cotton wool kid - I was always covered in bumps and scrapes and we used to play out in the street and local area for hours at a time. My younger half siblings were different again - my sister was quite happy to go stay with her friends from being around 8, but my brother didn't want to until he was about 11. So there is no such thing as a kid being "regular" - each is different. I'm no advocate of mollycoddling though and kids do absolutely need to do things away from their parents, in order to develop independence and learn the skills they need to cope on their own.0 -
Personally, seeing as I'm a teenager still living with my parents, I honestly find myself wanting to listen to my parents more when they are less protective of me. It gives me a sense of trust between us and gives me pressure to make the right decisions to live up to that trust.
They give me freedom to make my own mistakes and I respect them for that.
this ^^^^
I lived with my mom and she gave me a lot of freedom, just made sure I checked in and all of that. however the other side of that is now whenever she tries to tell me to do something i have trouble taking her seriously.
And how can the guy be a father figure if she isn't allowing him to step up? ridiculous.0 -
This generation of kids are spoiled rotten. The whole thing of everyone gets a trophy, cuddling and pampering is the reason kids crime rate is what it is. Kids need to be taught how life is. Things shouldn't be sugar coated cause thts not life. These kids now are so babyfied its a shame.0
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Sorry, no matter how protective you are of their kids, bad *kitten* can still happen. Children get abducted daily from their own homes. You can put your child on a leash, and they can still get hit by a car. Or struck by lightning. Or, you could get carjacked and your kid can get ripped away from you in front of your eyes.Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.
I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.
Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.
That's a really unfair statement.
Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.
The world is a sh!tty place, but it's also a wonderful place. I'm not going to deprive my child of his childhood just because there's a bunch of sh!theads running loose.
It's not an unfair statement, it's true.
I understand that bad things can happen, even if you try to be pro-active in preventing them.
It is my job as her parent to make decisions that will keep her safe until she is at the age she has discernment, which is different for every child I am sure. That doesn't make me a bad parent or worse then the baby boomers because I am not sending my small child out into the world and hope they make it for the sake of their "childhood".0 -
sounds like their parenting styles are not even remotely similar. maybe this is something they should have talked about before they spawned0
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My parents were total hippie parents when it came to punishment. We got the "I'm very dissapointed in you", but the key here is that we were raised to respect our parents and have manners, so when we did something and GOT the "I'm dissapointed in you" line, it was like torture. I remember feeling physically ill for days after hearing those words. But I have tons of respect for my parents (as does my sister) so it meant something.0
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This generation of kids are spoiled rotten. The whole thing of everyone gets a trophy, cuddling and pampering is the reason kids crime rate is what it is. Kids need to be taught how life is. Things shouldn't be sugar coated cause thts not life. These kids now are so babyfied its a shame.
Meh. :indifferent: Every generation says that about the next. My dad told me that his dad told him that in the 50s.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
This, but also, they've pretty much proven that spanking kids f*'s them up for life. I was brought up way old school - single mom, Irish heritage, etc. I had the crap beaten out of me (not that I wasn't quite the hand-full, mind you...). So, when I became a parent, I fell into the same habit, but I have to say I've dropped it at this point. First, I've read enough about the down-sides (lowered IQ, etc.), but also, I really didn't see anything really coming out of the spanking other than me venting my anger and beating up someone smaller than me. Honestly, that's a pretty crappy realization when it hits. There is never a good reason to hit a child. Ever. They're smarter than we think, and spanking is not just the laaaaaaazy way out, but it damages the child emotionally and mentally/cognitively. Just snap out of it, talk to them, and find more productive ways to guide their behavior and decisions.0 -
Opinion:
They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.
The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure
That's very tricky ground - and I have about 10 years of experience with it. I made what was probably a mistake in staying 'out of it' and letting his mom be the real parent, but in the end it all worked out. But also, spanking is even less constructive/helpful a punishment when it's not even your own parent doing it. Like it or not, the lines are different when you're not blood. (But allow me to reiterate, spanking/physical violence against children is always the wrong answer.)0
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