Do you ever feel like others try to deter your goals?

I don't think your mom is being "suspicious" as much as concerned and making an honest effort to understand your goals. Her questions seem reasonable. Sometimes older people don't understand what younger people want. And many older women don't understand why a young woman wants to bulk up. My mother certainly didn't. She thought I was just odd. I guess for my generation I was.

But she wants you to be healthy and can't understand why you want muscle. I see how she can feel that way and I sure understand why you do! I suggest you show her studies on why women should lift weights. If you tell her that you can ward off osteoarthritis, she'll understand that. Older people understand health and sickness.

Just try to understand "her" and help her to understand you. She is, after all, your best friend and no one in the world will ever love you as much as she does.

I agree with you totally. I feel the same way about my husband. I have never been a diet person, and up until the last few years didn't need to, but now I really do. Every time I try to cut back or work out or do anything to better my body and health, itl's like it
really bothers him. I usually just try to do my thing without his knowledge of what's going on. It gets really hard and challenging and I attribute most of my failures to the interference from him. I know I should be stronger than this, and used to be. I am trying really hard this time to regain my own personal strengths and do what is right for myself. I think it bothers him that I want to improve myself when he doesn't care enough about himself to do things to improve his life. I am going to start focusing on being "the little engine
that could"!

Oh absolutely. Fitness and health have never been big in my family, so when I tell them I'm joining a gym, or that I'm eating better, or that I can't eat what they're eating because it's too unhealthy, they simply scoff at me or make some sly comment. It's like they're mocking me, it's like them saying "look at this *kitten*, trying to do better for himself." It's so discouraging...

yup, i doggy sat for my frind last wknd while she went to the states with her dads piping band...when she dropped the dog off she complimented me on how good i look and how well ive been doing...she came back with a box or double stacked moon pies as a pmt for me. wtf?:huh:

Yep. My moms side of the family very supportive, especially since obesity runs in my family, and yet I am the only one exercising and eating better. My one is 350 and won't do anything but complain, the other one was using the body by vi shakes plus one meal plus workout and gained 8lbs last week. He is now at 437.

My husband's moms side of the family makes in fun for me for not eating an entire plate of food every holiday. They do everything home cooked but they have restaurant size plates and when i fill mine only a quarter of the way, they say "aren't you going to eat more? Are you starving yourself?" It's like "no, i am just not that hungry" (i don't lecture them on portion size or exercise). My husband's dads side of the family, well, they are happy i am losing weight and can't believe that only 6 months after having our son that i have the energy to work out.

My husband is 5'10" and 277, and mostly muscular. He got a fairly interesting wake up call recently because he doesn't understand how on earth he gained three pounds in a bout a month. I told him, "you have to work out and stop eating the fast food" (he eats it if I don't cook or make him sandwiches for lunch or fix breakfast and he also won't work out) but after he gripes about it, he then goes on about how he is perfect and blah blah blah (then why gripe?) and then gets mad at me when I go running or work out after he goes to bed or while he is at work and thinks I'm perfect the way I am but at 5'2" 191lbs, i'm not perfect, I'm overweight and would love it if my asthma wouldn't kick in and love to live longer then 57 years of age (my mom was that old).

Unfortunately, yes. That is why i don't talk about my weight goals outside of MFP. My mom annoys me all the time.I know she means well in a way but still. All the time she tells me not to lose weight, that i am pretty and she likes that my face finally has some meat on it bla bla bla, but i am so out of shape and according to my BMI i am overweight. Basically my mom was 98 lbs through out her 20's and then after she had my sister she weighed 110 lbs in her early 30's and she thought she was fat(her height is 5'1''). So when i try to tell her that I AM currently fat and i just want to be at a healthy BMI and fit she acts like she doesn't get it and i am better being fat. I am happy with my set goal weight:125-130 lbs(height 5'4") and am just ignoring my mom and her comments and continue with my weight loss/get fit journey

Yeah, most people aren't going to understand. I do everything I can to avoid any kind of conversation about fitness.

Unfortunately I do the same thing. Here I am trying to be healthier and if I talk about working out or don't want to go out to dinner and eat bad then I am a *kitten*. I don't understand it, if you choose not to work out or be healthy fine but don't make me feel bad b/c I have choose to live a healthier life and you don't want to.

I know in my case my mom just don't understand. P90X runs about 1hr 15 mins per day and she don't understand why I work out so much. I usually only work out 45mins to an hour but i'm committed to P90X so I'm doing the Classic as outlined. Then the folks eat spam and egg beaters (lol..the point of the egg beaters with Spam?) for dinner while I eat grilled chicken and salad. And now that Mom is retired I see just how much crap food she eats...leftover birthday cake for breakfast b/c her "stomach was upset" (huh???) and the other day she goes to the store with my dad and comes home with Tasty Kake pies and Chocolate Creamies and then she goes food shopping with me just to keep me company (I buy all my own food so I don't have to eat things like Spam and Egg Beaters) and she's looking for butter pecan ice cream. I don't think she is consciously doing it, but I think subconsciously she's rebelling against my healthy eating lol I dealt with this same crap when I originally lost my weight when I was 15 so I'm used to it but sometimes I feel like she's trying to sabotage my efforts, but, oh yeah, it's not always about me even though I like to think it is

I guess I am lucky. My husband and son are both very supportive. My son does most of the cooking and is very interested in helping me meet my goals. He works out regularly and consumes a lot of calories. My husband could actually stand to gain a little. So, it's an interesting mix of dietary needs; but it seems to work out because we respect each others' needs. I have a good friend who is a little over weight and she actually talked me through a moment of weakness and steered me away from an ice cream shop while on an outing together!

Of course, there are the others. The ones who question or try to bring you down. I ignore them. Simple as that.

My Meme, Grannye and Dad's gf all think I need to stop losing. If they knew my goal weight they would probably flip their wigs. I dont think they say it to try to deter my goals, I thnk they're just worried. Then there is this other lady, she's related to hubby by marriage and she told me I didn't need to get too skinny and tht it would all goal back on when I got older

Yes! My husband ALWAYS wants pizza... and my Mom told me yesterday not to get too skinny. Ugh.
I'm going to try not to talk about it with anyone anymore either.

Guilt and insecurity.. 'nuff said.

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do"- Henry Ward Beecher

Thankfully my mom understands but even my weight loss friends will start eating junk and it leads to me having to eat it too.
My dad, however, will harp on me for not finishing supper. 'There's all these noodles left! And this rouladen! Why can't you eat it?" And my mom buts in, telling him that I'm watching what I eat.
Oh well, eventually when they see a difference hopefully it'll sink in. But I don't willingly bring it up. If someone asks me what I've been up to lately, I just tell them I work out.

ALL the time. That is why MFP is helping because I am surrounded by role models and people who are not trying to deter my goals. My fiance is already sick of hearing about it, but it is my obsession. My obsession to be healthy and an excellent athlete and someday an excellent teacher, coach, mother and wife because I will not be carrying around this extra weight that is seriously KILLING me. I do not want diabetes or to have a heart attack and at my 10lbs per year that I keep gaining because I have not been MINDFUL I will get something.

"Cheers to our health!"