11 pounds lost and I hate how I look

Options
checkmatekingtwo
checkmatekingtwo Posts: 118 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've just looked in a mirror and I was horrified. I looked at pictures taken recently and I couldn't believe how awful I look.

I have been in denial about my weight for so long, that I don't think I've actually looked at myself, REALLY looked at myself, for a couple years. Wow! How did I not notice how terrible I looked?

When pictures were taken at an event, I'd just glance at them and pass them out of my reach. I look at myself in a the bathroom mirror and just get a glimpse at my face, never looking into the full-length mirror in the hall until I'm completely dressed.

But I've been inspired by all the before and after pictures on these message boards and decided to get in my skivvies and take a full-body picture I can use as my before. Got in front to the mirror and ACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! I was honestly shocked. I knew intellectually I was morbidly obese, but to actually look at it in all its overflowing gory glory? Wow.

I know I'm making progress, but I really don't see it when I now actually, truly look in the mirror. I'm going to have readjust my mental image with my actual current image. I'm mentally looking worse now than I have mentally looked in the past. Does that make any sense?
«1

Replies

  • hdsqrl
    hdsqrl Posts: 420 Member
    Options
    Yep, I totally get that. Recently I took photos of myself in the bathroom mirror with NO clothes, and tried to look at those with an objective eye. I realized just how small my head is in comparison to the rest of my body, and I also realized that I'm more pear-shaped than hourglass, which is how I'd always described myself. Not a bad thing, necessarily, but it did teach me something about myself. I then deleted those photos, heh.

    I'd encourage you to keep your "before" photos, but not share them with anyone just yet. Tuck them away, don't obsess over them, and keep fighting the good fight. Take another set of photos a month from now, and do some comparisons. I bet you'll be pleased to see the progress you're making.

    Not all of us are lucky enough to drop all of our weight in a couple of months, so having those photos handy really help to keep us motivated and reassured that we ARE making some progress. :)

    Don't give up!
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    Options
    I've just looked in a mirror and I was horrified. I looked at pictures taken recently and I couldn't believe how awful I look.

    I have been in denial about my weight for so long, that I don't think I've actually looked at myself, REALLY looked at myself, for a couple years. Wow! How did I not notice how terrible I looked?

    When pictures were taken at an event, I'd just glance at them and pass them out of my reach. I look at myself in a the bathroom mirror and just get a glimpse at my face, never looking into the full-length mirror in the hall until I'm completely dressed.

    But I've been inspired by all the before and after pictures on these message boards and decided to get in my skivvies and take a full-body picture I can use as my before. Got in front to the mirror and ACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! I was honestly shocked. I knew intellectually I was morbidly obese, but to actually look at it in all its overflowing gory glory? Wow.

    I know I'm making progress, but I really don't see it when I now actually, truly look in the mirror. I'm going to have readjust my mental image with my actual current image. I'm mentally looking worse now than I have mentally looked in the past. Does that make any sense?

    Yes.

    I think the post by hdsqrl has good advice.

    Keep plugging away. I PROMISE YOU that if you stick to this plan, you WILL make great strides.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Options
    I did the same thing when I picked my 'before' picture though I won't do the shot in undies - I know what I look like hehe.

    It was from my vacation to Europe last summer and I honestly thought I looked 'good' in the picture. I don't. But! I know that if I keep on doing what I need to do I will eventually look the way I always imagined myself to look and then I'll take the bikini shot!
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
    Options
    please just keep going, your brain will catch up to your body eventually.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    Yep, I totally get that. Recently I took photos of myself in the bathroom mirror with NO clothes, and tried to look at those with an objective eye. I realized just how small my head is in comparison to the rest of my body, and I also realized that I'm more pear-shaped than hourglass, which is how I'd always described myself. Not a bad thing, necessarily, but it did teach me something about myself. I then deleted those photos, heh.

    I'd encourage you to keep your "before" photos, but not share them with anyone just yet. Tuck them away, don't obsess over them, and keep fighting the good fight. Take another set of photos a month from now, and do some comparisons. I bet you'll be pleased to see the progress you're making.

    Not all of us are lucky enough to drop all of our weight in a couple of months, so having those photos handy really help to keep us motivated and reassured that we ARE making some progress. :)

    Don't give up!

    ^^^ This, and ... I think we're all in denial at some point about our looks. But you can't work on something if you don't know where you stand.

    YOU rock for making healthier decisions and choosing to be active. YOU rock for taking steps to change for the better and take care of your body.

    So keep rocking. :heart:
  • kacarter1017
    kacarter1017 Posts: 651 Member
    Options
    This is very common!! I'm finding that even at goal. What my mental image of me at goal was isn't quite what it looks like. Not that I'm unhappy; just a bit surprised. Cellulite is still there on the back of my thighs- just lots less. I still have saddle bags, though they are MUCH smaller. Still have "grandma arms" but again, much less. My tummy isn't completely flat, and with age, some saggier skin has made me uncomfortable in a 2 piece. I had no idea that women in a size 6 ( my current size) still had all these issues under those "skinny" clothes.

    As I was putting together my daughter's graduation picture boards last year, I came across pictures of me at my heaviest. And I still couldn't believe that that was how I had looked! I never saw me as big as I was. Even with the surprises I mentioned above, it was very gratifying to see the differences then and now. Be proud of the changes you're making, don't worry about what was, or even, what is. Focus on being healthier and you will find a better bod!
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    Options
    ~chuckles~
    I have days when I know exactly what I look like. And other days where I manage to keep myself happily in the dark.

    I hope one day to have what I look like and what I see when I'm in the dark a whole heck of a lot closer.
  • juliedozier
    juliedozier Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    Keep on keepin on sister! I do know how you feel though, I recently climbed on my bathroom counter to replace a light bulb, I got a real close look at myself in the mirror and it wasn't pretty. I was discouraged because I have come so far but yet have so far to go. I try not to let it get me down and just plug along one day at a time. Hang in there!!!
  • amrita0286
    amrita0286 Posts: 75
    Options
    I feel like that too often but stay positive. You WILL reach a healthy weight and you WILL look hot and sexy in the next photo you take of yourself. Staying positive and having small goals keeps me on track.
    You're doing great by the way, 11 lbs lost is great :)
  • sofakingawesome69
    sofakingawesome69 Posts: 149
    Options
    anything worth it takes time. You can't change a lifestyle in just a short amount of time. But damn you will feel better once you get to the goal. You will want pictures taken and not have issue with them. Just gonna take a while. But well worth it.
  • gypsybree
    gypsybree Posts: 218
    Options
    Well said, darling.
  • dbrakora
    dbrakora Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    I would like to encourage you to take measurements too! Write them on the back of the picture. There will be times in your Journey when you are not losing weight but still losing inches and being able to identify that will help keep you motivated. Hang in there, someday you will walk by a mirror or mall window, a new thinner you, and you'll say who is that? and realize it's the new and improved you!!! Just don't give up the fight!!!!
  • Sarah0866
    Sarah0866 Posts: 291 Member
    Options
    I totally understand, but keeping pushing for it, and you'll get there. Try to focus on the positive, which is that you are making progress. Continue on the path you're on now, and I'm sure your mental image and actual image of yourself will continue to change for the best :)
  • angelalf1979
    angelalf1979 Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME!!!! I am so much more "aware" of every lump, curve, and just plain floppiness and I am even more repulsed by my body and I am 22 pounds down. Working out and losing weight you are supposed to feel better... well not this girl. Not yet!! Glad someone else feels ethe same way! Thought there was something wrong with my mind!

    BUT WE ARE ALL DOING THIS FOR A REASON. SO WE CAN FINALLY LOOK AT OURSELVES NAKED FOR A FULL 27.4 SECONDS AND NOT CRY :sad:
  • newcs
    newcs Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    It's hard to see results in pictures and people are often disappointed in what they perceive to be a lack of progress until they're at their weight and fitness goals (which usually keep getting upped as initial goals are met). Have you tried taking measurements? That way when you don't feel your appearance has changed enough, you have objective proof of your accomplishments.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Options
    I can really really relate to this and it's only at 70lbs down that I've really realised I AM doing this. I still get discouraged though as I'm only half way. It's a long journey. When I am accomplishing things I never thought possible it makes it all worth while. There's much more than the weight aspect it's the psychological benefits and the other health benefits. A year from now you'll be a whole new you and you'll find yourself not believing how far you've come. When you get a moment and you realise it's amazing. Great to feel the opposite of what you feel now and it WILL happen. Just stick with it x
  • sarahleeroy
    sarahleeroy Posts: 45
    Options
    I know how you feel. My first set of progress pics were extremely shocking! And then even after I had lost a lot of weight, I felt like I still looked the same (awkwardly shaped), only smaller. It passes though so keep your head up! I am now getting to the point of changing my overall shape and looking more fit so I'm glad I stuck with it despite being a little discouraged :)
  • KimInsanityP
    KimInsanityP Posts: 97
    Options
    CONSISTENCY, PERSISTANCE AND DISCIPLINE IS KEY! Don't give up. Its a lifestyle, not a quick fix. Know that you won't change over night, but if you keep moving your body, make healthy eating choices, don't stock your fridge or pantry with bad stuff, look for support here and just keep going. You can do this!
  • twinklinglucy
    twinklinglucy Posts: 2
    Options
    I totally relate--where I used to live, my closet doors were mirrored. I always kept one closet door open. It didn't occur to me why until I started losing weight. I didn't have to face the truth as long as I kept that closet door open! I closed that closet door & I lost 80 pounds! It's amazing how I was unhappy with myself, yet I protected myself from the reality. Bless you for sharing your story & keep up the good work! :flowerforyou:
  • jonchew
    jonchew Posts: 239 Member
    Options
    Your pissed-off... GOOD FOR YOU! Stay that way, but keep it in perspective - every journey starts with that first (or 11th) step.
    You can do this!!

Categories