Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here

Id punch her in the *kitten*.

Call her on it! No need to spend all that time, energy and gas when she's simply using you for what she sees as potential.

Sorry, I just need to rant. This is ridiculous.

I have a work friend who is recently divorced with three kids. She married young and never got a lot of time to have fun before she started having kids. Her husband was unstable, so she was never able to leave the kids with him and just get out of the house. She has a family member in town for the week, so she has a baby sitter for the first time in ten years this weekend. She asked me if I would take her out dancing, and I said I'd love to.
Fast forward to yesterday, when she tells me she also wants to go see an art museum, go out for lunch, etc.. She asks if I'll drive her around for the day, taking her to do all this stuff, and then if she can sleep at my house so she doesn't have to drive 45 minutes out to the boondocks tired and/or drunk. Of course, I said I'd love to have her.
Last night, a coworker/very good friend/guy I will probably date as soon as one of us finds a new job sends me a message saying this woman told him she was spending the night at my house and asked if he wanted to meet for brunch on Sunday. He said he'd love to meet us, and she said "No, it's only me." He was worried that having brunch with her would send 'the wrong message' to her, and he was regretting saying yes.
So, this morning, she finds me at work and says "You sleep in late on Sundays right?"
I told her I usually get up early on Sundays to run, and she told me I would be tired and deserved to sleep late. She would just let herself out early in the morning.
I told her I had planned to fix her breakfast, and she pretended to consider it for a long time, then said "No, it's your Sunday, you should just rest."
I told her I would love to fix her breakfast, and she told me she needed to get home to make breakfast for her kids.

Seriously!? This girl *knows* she's moving in on my territory. I'm not the least bit concerned about her having brunch with my guy, but damn if I'm not pissed that she's going to stay at my house, then ditch me for brunch with my friend, and then lie to me about it!

I haven't told the guy yet that she lied to me about her breakfast plans, because I don't want him to be upset with her too. But I was looking forward to this girl's day out, and now I'm just resentful.

Ladies, what would ya'll do!?

Call that b i t c h out.

And...

Id punch her in the *kitten*.

this.

I fail to see the problem unless you have specifically said he is off limits and she should respect your friendship. I also don't see where she lied to you, it seems more like she omitted a detail.

I fail to see how the guy is your territory unless you are an exclusive couple, and it doesn't seem like you are based on what you describe.

If she's interested in him for a relationship or sexually, she can make a move on him. It is up to him to reject her, and it sounds like he will.

I do think her behavior is somewhat poor form though.

He was worried that having brunch with her would send 'the wrong message' to her, and he was regretting saying yes.

If this guy is into you the way you think he is, why doesn't he just tell this woman he'd rather it be the three of you? Why worry about her taking it the wrong way when he has time to correct how she will take it? He's under no obligation to this woman -- neither are you. Why didn't you just say "Oh, Bob told me you are going to brunch" when she started talking to you about Sunday morning?

Id punch her in the *kitten*.

I'd tell her "hey, guess what? *Guy friend* invited us out to brunch on Sunday, I'd really like to go, what do you think?"

Or take it one step further...

"Guy friend said he needs a wingman for an awkward invite he got to brunch on Sunday, so I'm going to go. Would you like to join?"

I think on his end, he doesn't want to appear rude. He accepted, she altered, and then it was either take back what he said and hurt her feelings or go and just endure an hour with someone he could care less about. With some women, the latter's the easier route even if it's not the best route period.

This thread is amazing. You all are ruthless, passive-agressive, and totally hilarious. I love every last one of you.

For the record, I have zero questions about the guy's actions. He accepted an invitation that he thought was from the two of us, and found out later that it was only for her, at which point he contacted me asking if that was inappropriate or if he was overreacting. I don't question who he hangs out with, and he doesn't question who I hang out with. Like many people have pointed out, we are not officially dating.

He also wanted to make sure I was comfortable with them having brunch together, and I am. I know that if she tries anything with him, he will gently and politely say "I'm sorry, I thought this was a platonic friends thing."

What I do question is that after I told her that I was really interested in him, and that we've been out on several dates but are taking things very slowly because we are coworkers and we're both recovering from failed relationships, she decided to go after him.

And I do believe she IS going after him, or she shouldn't have had a reason to lie about a platonic brunch date. Or, frankly, to not invite me after staying at my house.

I'm definitely going to have to talk about this with her tomorrow, when I see her again in person. Whether we remain friends or not doesn't particularly matter to me.

Also, maybe I"ll punch her in the *kitten*.

Id punch her in the *kitten*.