Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here

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  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    He was worried that having brunch with her would send 'the wrong message' to her, and he was regretting saying yes.
    She's not the one to blame. You're NOT going out with him, why on earth shouldn't she meet him? And why, at a point when she's just setting foot back into the world of dating, should she let you into details of her private life?

    He sounds like a real p*ssy.

    Instead of coming running to you and "confessing" that he's agreed to meet her, he needs to say to her "You know what, I value our friendship, and I know you're a considerate woman, so I know you won't mind that I've invited (whatever the op's name is) who I'm very fond of, to join us.

    Tell him to grow a set and stop stringing the poor woman along!
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
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    I told her I would love to fix her breakfast, and she told me she needed to get home to make breakfast for her kids.
    /quote]

    And she's going to brunch with him?! Yep, seems like she lied to me! Sorry but even by omission...it's a lie. Especially if she knows you are interested...I agree show up at brunch (looking like a million bucks).
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    If this guy is into you the way you think he is, why doesn't he just tell this woman he'd rather it be the three of you? Why worry about her taking it the wrong way when he has time to correct how she will take it? He's under no obligation to this woman -- neither are you. Why didn't you just say "Oh, Bob told me you are going to brunch" when she started talking to you about Sunday morning?

    I think on his end, he doesn't want to appear rude. He accepted, she altered, and then it was either take back what he said and hurt her feelings or go and just endure an hour with someone he could care less about. With some women, the latter's the easier route even if it's not the best route period.

    And personally I wouldn't confront someone about a situation like that because in the end it leads to a fight. You instantly accuse, they get defensive, and nothing goes anywhere. Yes she's being terribly rude but there's better ways to say, "hey you're asking more of me than I'd like and you're also doing things with friends/interests I don't care for."
  • definitelyval
    definitelyval Posts: 104 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    :laugh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :laugh:
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    I cannot contain myself....I'm laughing so hard the laptop is bouncing.

    Anyway...why wait until you find a new job? That's my question. What if one of you got hit by a bus tomorrow?? Time wasted!

    Also, I would have called her out on it right then and there. Saying something like, yeah i know you're going to brunch with so-and-so. She's keeping it from you because she knows you like the dude. She's not a good friend, but she's not stepping in on your territory either. Don't get me wrong, I'd be pissed too though.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I actually am dating a co-worker and if one of my work friend's asked him out to brunch without me involved, I'd immediately make it known that I know and ask what the intentions are. If any stuttering or lying ensues, I'd tell her that our weekend plans are now over and to enjoy the brunch with my guy Sunday, since I trust him. But the friendship with the girl would be done.
  • Stefanie7125
    Stefanie7125 Posts: 462 Member
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    I'd tell her "hey, guess what? *Guy friend* invited us out to brunch on Sunday, I'd really like to go, what do you think?"


    Or take it one step further...

    "Guy friend said he needs a wingman for an awkward invite he got to brunch on Sunday, so I'm going to go. Would you like to join?"



    for the win!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I woupd never, ever do that to a friend. And if a "friend" did that to me, she would cease to be my friend. Any man that a friend of mine is interested in immediately becomes asexual and off limits in my mind.

    Sorry this woman is a jerk.
  • samiam321123
    samiam321123 Posts: 38 Member
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    So your work friend invited you out in YOUR car using YOUR gas to do things only she finds interesting? Then she invited herself to spend the night at YOUR house and doesn't even have the decency to invite you to the brunch she is planning with your other friend all the while lying and saying she is going home to take care of her kids? She sounds like a sh*tty friend. I know you were excited about a girls night out but find another girl, one that doesn't use you.
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
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    This thread is amazing. You all are ruthless, passive-agressive, and totally hilarious. I love every last one of you.

    For the record, I have zero questions about the guy's actions. He accepted an invitation that he thought was from the two of us, and found out later that it was only for her, at which point he contacted me asking if that was inappropriate or if he was overreacting. I don't question who he hangs out with, and he doesn't question who I hang out with. Like many people have pointed out, we are not officially dating.

    He also wanted to make sure I was comfortable with them having brunch together, and I am. I know that if she tries anything with him, he will gently and politely say "I'm sorry, I thought this was a platonic friends thing."

    What I do question is that after I told her that I was really interested in him, and that we've been out on several dates but are taking things very slowly because we are coworkers and we're both recovering from failed relationships, she decided to go after him.

    And I do believe she IS going after him, or she shouldn't have had a reason to lie about a platonic brunch date. Or, frankly, to not invite me after staying at my house.

    I'm definitely going to have to talk about this with her tomorrow, when I see her again in person. Whether we remain friends or not doesn't particularly matter to me.

    Also, maybe I"ll punch her in the *kitten*.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    I think on his end, he doesn't want to appear rude. He accepted, she altered, and then it was either take back what he said and hurt her feelings or go and just endure an hour with someone he could care less about. With some women, the latter's the easier route even if it's not the best route period.

    I agree. I've had times before where I invite friend A and B to do something and they both agree, but A backs out and I'm not good enough friends with B to hang out along. Yet, I don't say, "oh, nevermind." I will still go.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Yep.... I witnessed my best girlfriend go through her divorce from Satan... That guy verbally and physically abused her. Isolated, cheated, then abandoned her..... She had gained over 150 lbs being in that marriage... She did some fairly irrational things after he abandoned her for the second time.. It wasn't pretty.... Sometimes when a person has been isolated they just dont know right from wrong socially. They are just trying to get comfort from a different source now... Maybe just be really up front with her.. And tell her straight out.... If you leave your couch open to her (I really hate to say this) but I think your setting yourself up for lots and lots of stress & grief. Encourage her to find a social interest group, where others can show her around town, and fun things to do... Shes trying to find someone to replace the EX you know. Sounds like shes considering your friend as a good prospect right now. Just be up front and firm... If she doesn't get it.. Then go to your plan B...
  • katrinkap
    katrinkap Posts: 443 Member
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    call her on it... honestly is the best policy as corny as it sounds...
  • katrinkap
    katrinkap Posts: 443 Member
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    and then cut off her hair on half of her head at night...
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    This thread is amazing. You all are ruthless, passive-agressive, and totally hilarious. I love every last one of you.

    For the record, I have zero questions about the guy's actions. He accepted an invitation that he thought was from the two of us, and found out later that it was only for her, at which point he contacted me asking if that was inappropriate or if he was overreacting. I don't question who he hangs out with, and he doesn't question who I hang out with. Like many people have pointed out, we are not officially dating.

    He also wanted to make sure I was comfortable with them having brunch together, and I am. I know that if she tries anything with him, he will gently and politely say "I'm sorry, I thought this was a platonic friends thing."

    What I do question is that after I told her that I was really interested in him, and that we've been out on several dates but are taking things very slowly because we are coworkers and we're both recovering from failed relationships, she decided to go after him.

    And I do believe she IS going after him, or she shouldn't have had a reason to lie about a platonic brunch date. Or, frankly, to not invite me after staying at my house.

    I'm definitely going to have to talk about this with her tomorrow, when I see her again in person. Whether we remain friends or not doesn't particularly matter to me.

    Also, maybe I"ll punch her in the *kitten*.

    You do realize you owe us a follow up, right? We look forward to hearing from you. :smile:
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    ^^ this.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    THIS!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Oh, and definitely a follow-up!
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
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    Yup. sounds like she set the whole thing up so she could be around to have brunch with him on Sunday. I, personally, would wait it out. Be super nice and let it weigh on her conscience (if she has one). :huh:

    Then, at the last minute (because you know she's not going to fess up), I would cancel on her: "Sorry, can't go out. I've got the hiccups".

    So, what's her long term plan? She thinks she can start dating someone she knows you're into and you wouldn't notice or would MIRACULOUSLY come around? Also, what kind of guy does she take your friend to be? Would she really want a guy that would date a friend's friend?

    Um, honey's not too bright nor too loyal. I had a roommate try this with my boyfriend of 5 years. She called in late to work, but managed to have time to make MY boyfriend breakfast (eggs, toast..BACON). Oh and then bummed a ride from him.

    I was done with him for being stupid (not that your friend sounds like he's in that category) and her for being a tramp. It was my place. :)


    That's my advice.


    Oh and then... PUNCH HER IN THE *kitten*!


    > h...a....r.....d
  • Zerashen
    Zerashen Posts: 59 Member
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    I almost hope this ends in a *kitten* punch. But yes! Follow up afterward!

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