Do you ever feel like others try to deter your goals?

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Replies

  • moonlightturk
    moonlightturk Posts: 398
    That's what you got us for; to understand. There will always be peopel detering your goals but you just have to pick your head up and keep doing what you're doing. Good luck!
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
    Totally!! Just tonight, I made myself a nice salad and I turned around and my husband had dumped like a gallon of dressing on it. I think people just don't understand.
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
    I consider myself lucky in that my parents are on this journey with me and we have lost 118 lbs combined....but as for the rest of the world I am constantly getting crap for losing weight. As a matter of fact I had to have a scan on my gall bladder in the hospital yesterday. I had made a comment about how gall bladder issues sometimes go hand in hand with weight loss and I thought it was ironic i try to do something good for my body and it retaliates (of course being sarcastic). The woman then informs "You better not lose anymore weight or you will whither away."

    Ok first off I was able to camoflauge my weight pretty well, secondly if I am staying within an appropriate weight range what does it matter if I decide to lose? I'm doing this for me not the rest of the world. My boyfriend gave me a hard time at the beginning until I showed him my food diary for a few days and he understood I am not starving myself. But people tell me all the time I don't need to lose weight or it's stupid to count calories. And alot of them are overweight. So i don't know if they are jealous of my will power or what.

    So I have decided it probably is best not to talk about it. But on the flip side I do try to help people if they ask for it. I was out at a bar with friends the other night and this guy was calling one of the girls that was with me fat and telling her she needed to stop eating so many donuts and learn to say no. Funny thing is she hates sweets. In his eyes all "fat" people eat are sugary sweets and the only possible way to lose weight is to run 9 miles a day. After he was done (because he told me how wrong I am with counting calories and walking since that doesn't work) I explained to her if she wanted to give MFP a shot I would help her and that his way isn't the only way. There are tons of ways and each person will chose a different one.
  • bugs5697
    bugs5697 Posts: 85
    i've learned to
    a) not talk about it
    B) ignore people
    c) smile and nod
    d) secretly hate people

    ^^^HAHAHAH!!!^^^ This, especially d)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Its just cause she comes from an era where exercise for women was seen completely differently and they were brainwashed with the cardio/aerobics/etc only for girls. its hard to get people to stop seeing women's fitness that way. she just learned differently.

    i have a hard remembering things are different than they were when I learned them too.

    When I was in school, our big nemesis was teh USSR, there was something called a brachiosaurus and we had 9 planets...
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
    Yep I do and I hate it! I hate it when people wave food in front of my face like I am a dog and I politely say no thanks and they keep doing it.
  • peachyxoxoxo
    peachyxoxoxo Posts: 1,178 Member
    Its just cause she comes from an era where exercise for women was seen completely differently and they were brainwashed with the cardio/aerobics/etc only for girls. its hard to get people to stop seeing women's fitness that way. she just learned differently.

    That's a good point, I never thought about that. She does a lot of cardio workout videos (like Kathy Smith) and uses some weights but only like 10 lbs at the heaviest. I mean come to think about it, even I used to not really understand lifting and trying to gain muscle... glad I changed my mindset though. I hope I continue to see more and more women getting into lifting in the coming years.
  • AmberRiche4
    AmberRiche4 Posts: 21 Member
    Oh, I know what it's like having someone close to you who isn't as supportive as they could/should be. My wife has sabotaged or at least tried to, every diet I've been on. Apparently, she feels being supportive is remembering to say "chew your food" once in a while when we're dining out.

    I'm convinced that marriage is the leading cause of obesity. :grumble:
  • AmberRiche4
    AmberRiche4 Posts: 21 Member
    I thought I was just being paranoid but obviously not (have a feeling it may be because they are insecure, do not like change and you may change) - how do you deal with this?
  • neaneawy
    neaneawy Posts: 146 Member
    I get crap from people all the time. Family, friends, co-workers, casual acquantices.

    Telling me I am too thin or I look sick. I say, "NO, you are use to seeing me at 250 pounds. 75 pounds OVER WEIGHT. Get use to this size. Cause I ain't going back."

    I think this is it. People are used to seeing you overweight/obese. Today I finally broke into the healthy weight range for my height, but people have been telling me for the last 10 lbs that I should stop. They're shocked and insist that I'm crazy when I tell them I want to lose another 10-20 lbs. I'm certainly not stopping here at a borderline healthy BMI.
  • gerripho
    gerripho Posts: 479 Member
    Reading through this thread has been interesting. It is sad that so many are being dissed by those closest to them.

    Just for peachyxoxoxo and the others who have moms taking the role of the naysayer. There is one sure fire way to make that stop. At the first negative comment from a mom, gently respond with something like, "You know I love you, mom, and right now I really need your support in what I'm trying to accomplish." Or, "Mom, you've been a great inspiration. I really admire how you take care of yourself and that's what I'm trying to do. I'm doing things a bit different from what you've done, but you're the one who raised me to be an independent person. When I do something different, it doesn't mean I don't love you." Add a quick hug if you can and then change the subject.

    That may not work the first time. If not, repeat. Not just once, but every time. (That's assuming your mom survives the first shock! :wink: )
  • kairisika
    kairisika Posts: 131 Member
    When I was in school, our big nemesis was teh USSR, there was something called a brachiosaurus and we had 9 planets...
    Heh. There still is a brachiosaurus. It's the Brontosaurus that was a mistaken combination of the skeleton of a Brachiosaurus and an Apatosaurus.
  • marytalieh
    marytalieh Posts: 1 Member
    I've heard this before. Many people who are successful do not eat the same meals as their family. This might be uncomfortable at first but it makes sense from a health standpoint.
  • SwallowInTheOcean
    SwallowInTheOcean Posts: 10 Member
    My mom recently lost a lot of weight and has kept it off. I am now motivated to become healthier and lose weight but somehow I feel like she doesn't want me to lose weight. If I talk about my goals she brushes me off and changes the subject really quickly when it never used to be that way. I think she knows this time I'm dedicated and changing my life. It may not be true but for some reason I think she wants me to continue to be fat and unhappy with my body even though she lost weight.

    Also a co-worker of mine complimented me by saying "I can tell what you are doing is working because you look smaller". Later on that afternoon she BEGGED me to eat one of her Reeses with her! I couldn't believe I was sitting there going back and forth with her telling her that I didn't want her candy.

    My mom recently admitted to me that she felt like a failure of a parent for not teaching me how to eat healthy and exercise regularly as a child. She said that was the reason for her not being supportive in the beginning, this sort of denial that she may have messed up as a parent. I told her that my eating habits and laziness were my problem that only I could fix and now she's really supportive. She congratulates me on every pound lost and in motherly fashion asks if I'm getting enough vitamins and minerals.

    I think that people closest to us never want to admit there's a problem.
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
    There is such a difference between what i was raised to believe about weight loss, what my mom was raised with, and what people believe now....

    we have come a long way but sometimes our moms havent caught up yet.

    i spent the week at my moms last week and it rotated between her warning me against eating all my calories, and trying to feed me way more than i needed, and making me feel bad because she is very heavy now.

    i have come to conclude that i need to just keep it all to myself. honestly i just keep to myself in general these days and stay motivated. i may need all new friends.

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