Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here
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Oh yeah, she is totally going after him. She knows it's wrong too, because she's trying to keep it secret from you. There are some women who will only notice a man if another woman likes him.
It's not because they enjoy trying to steal your man. It's just because they don't seem to have the good sense to appreciate a nice guy and can't see it for themselves, it's too much "work." So they wait until a friend or co-worker likes a guy and then they begin to see him through *your* eyes and see what a nice guy he is, etc. THEN they strike. They're just too lazy to find a nice guy on their own, lol!0 -
I'd tell her "hey, guess what? *Guy friend* invited us out to brunch on Sunday, I'd really like to go, what do you think?"
OR THIS!!!!0 -
LOL this!!Id punch her in the *kitten*.0 -
I would definitely call her out. She needs to know: #1 you aren't dumb and don't appreciate being lied to. #2 this guy and you are friends and do compare notes #3 she's poaching on your territory where the guy is concerned and you aren't taking that lightly. If she persues him she's drawing her line in the sand. Stand up to that bs.
Just because she just ended a bad marriage doesn't mean it's open season on all available men including the one you are interested in. Make your feelings for him known. You shouldn't have to pick up the pace in your progression of a relationship with the guy just to send a message that he's yours. Her knowing how you feel about him should be enough that she experiences single-hood and her newfound freedom with any other guy on the planet.
If you two are close enough that you were her first choice for girl's weekend then she should be treating you a whole lot better than this. If you two are not close, more just coworkers, then I can't imagine why you are wasting your time on her because she sounds like a pretty crappy friend.
And for what its worth, I don't think you should be keeping this from the guy so he isn't mad at her. Let him make his own choices. And he should be kinda irritated that it sounds like she's creating drama where there was none before.
Whatever you decide to do I think you should be honest and tell her how you feel and I would for sure do it before the freakin girls weekend.
Or I guess you could just go with punching her in the *kitten* afterall if that doesn't work, lol.0 -
Id punch her in the *kitten*.
This and I'd show up to brunch....
LOLOLOL! YES!
falcon punch all the way.0 -
Whatever you decide to do...just keep in mind that you have to work with both these people afterwards0
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Wait!! Wait!!! Wait!!! How did she get your c-workers phone number???0
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Sounds like most agree with me. I win. PUNCH HER IN THE *kitten*!!!0
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Wait!! Wait!!! Wait!!! How did she get your c-workers phone number???
It's about as easy to get a phone number these days as it is easy for a hooker to get herpes...just sayin.0 -
That Gif just made my night hahahahahaha.0
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Wait!! Wait!!! Wait!!! How did she get your c-workers phone number???
I think they said it was a friend from work so don't they all work together? Messy.0 -
This thread is amazing. You all are ruthless, passive-agressive, and totally hilarious. I love every last one of you.
For the record, I have zero questions about the guy's actions. He accepted an invitation that he thought was from the two of us, and found out later that it was only for her, at which point he contacted me asking if that was inappropriate or if he was overreacting.
snip .....snip
Also, maybe I"ll punch her in the *kitten*.
He sounds like an ethical kind of guy.
I hope things go well with the chat. Please do provide an update.0 -
Threesome imo
^^^ And this is why she asked for advice from the LADIES.. :laugh:0 -
Wolfpack, you always make me laugh...0 -
Sorry, I just need to rant. This is ridiculous.
I have a work friend who is recently divorced with three kids. She married young and never got a lot of time to have fun before she started having kids. Her husband was unstable, so she was never able to leave the kids with him and just get out of the house. She has a family member in town for the week, so she has a baby sitter for the first time in ten years this weekend. She asked me if I would take her out dancing, and I said I'd love to.
Fast forward to yesterday, when she tells me she also wants to go see an art museum, go out for lunch, etc.. She asks if I'll drive her around for the day, taking her to do all this stuff, and then if she can sleep at my house so she doesn't have to drive 45 minutes out to the boondocks tired and/or drunk. Of course, I said I'd love to have her.
Last night, a coworker/very good friend/guy I will probably date as soon as one of us finds a new job sends me a message saying this woman told him she was spending the night at my house and asked if he wanted to meet for brunch on Sunday. He said he'd love to meet us, and she said "No, it's only me." He was worried that having brunch with her would send 'the wrong message' to her, and he was regretting saying yes.
So, this morning, she finds me at work and says "You sleep in late on Sundays right?"
I told her I usually get up early on Sundays to run, and she told me I would be tired and deserved to sleep late. She would just let herself out early in the morning.
I told her I had planned to fix her breakfast, and she pretended to consider it for a long time, then said "No, it's your Sunday, you should just rest."
I told her I would love to fix her breakfast, and she told me she needed to get home to make breakfast for her kids.
Seriously!? This girl *knows* she's moving in on my territory. I'm not the least bit concerned about her having brunch with my guy, but damn if I'm not pissed that she's going to stay at my house, then ditch me for brunch with my friend, and then lie to me about it!
I haven't told the guy yet that she lied to me about her breakfast plans, because I don't want him to be upset with her too. But I was looking forward to this girl's day out, and now I'm just resentful.
Ladies, what would ya'll do!?
Wow! Being a good friend is important to me. Most people would say I'm the sweetest person they know. I also have fairly strict limits on what I will take, though. That is someone I would cut out of my life without a second thought. I'd confront her too, because it would be satisfying, and so she would know that isn't how you treat people. I personally would confront her after the fact. Let her lie to you about it one more time, and promptly call her out, and make sure it's face-to-face. Sooo satisfying. To be clear, I'd leave out the part about her trying to move in on a guy you're interested in, and just address the lie. Yeah, she would still suck as a friend for doing that, but addressing that part would just make it sound like you thought she had a chance with him, which would bring her satisfaction she doesn't deserve.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Crap happens..take note of it and move on. Getting all fired up isn't going to change the situation at hand, it could actually make matters worse if you go about it the wrong way. I'm sure there's more important things that you could be focusing on instead.
This isn't Jr high....0 -
Have you considered approaching your male friend and telling him about the weekend, beginning with how she wanted to plan a girls day out and then the overnight followed by the conversation about breakfast and her refusing so she could go home? He should know the deception she is engaging in. He can tactfully resolve this by addressing it with her and making it clear that he accepted solely because he assumed it involved you but out of respect for you, he is not going to have brunch with her alone. It's not a matter of jealousy or trust between the two of you, just avoiding what has the potential for a nastier situation involving this woman. Don't give her the opportunity to be involved in any part of your life or your male friend's. She is not a friend and therefore deserves none of your time or your friend's.0
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Id punch her in the *kitten*.
This and I'd show up to brunch....
LOLOLOL! YES!
and "return" his t-shirt/tie/boxer briefs that you found in your laundry0 -
Wow, that's so uncool! Yes, it's sad that she's had a rough time and needs to get out, but that's no excuse for lying to you and manipulating you. If she really knew you are crushing on this guy and went out of her way to sneak a brunch date with him, that's pretty sh!tty. Expecting you to run her around all weekend while she does that behind your back is not being a real friend - it's just selfish. You were willing to do a lot for her to make her feel better. The fact that the guy told you about their conversation shows you he is uncomfortable. He's probably hating that he's in the middle of this mess right now! Maybe it would be better for him to suddenly wake up with a sore throat on Sunday and cancel. Poor guy! And at this point, I don't think you're under any obligation to take her out at all - but that's up to you.0
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Bump! Looking forward to *kitten* punching update!!! :laugh:0
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Just chalk it off to a learning experience but don't do her anymore favors and do not feel sorry for her. Do you know for a fact that all her so called problems with her hubby are in fact true? If she lied to you and used you then maybe she is a liar and a user.
Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice.
Take care0 -
Id punch her in the *kitten*.
HARD.0 -
Call that b i t c h out.
And...Id punch her in the *kitten*.
this.
yepp :explode:
Twice to make sure she got the message!0 -
Bump for update0
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Frankly, I despise liars and if she knows your interest in him, well that's definitely a type of deception. If she doesn't, you'd better clear that up pretty fast by talking to her.
I'd just say "You know, I talked to **** and he said you guys were going out on Sunday for brunch. I wanted you to know he's a good friend of mine and we've been starting to go out - sorta like a dating situation. He's a little worried about hurting your feelings so he called me to talk about it. He's not interested in a relationship with you and really hadn't planned on going to brunch with you by himself. I think he's feeling a bit uncomfortable as we've been seeing each other a lot and he felt the need to tell me about brunch." You don't have to say when he told you, just address it so she knows your interest and knows he called you. That should do it. Hopefully, she'll immediately invite you and realize her mistake if it's a true error on her part.
I'd say that would throw a loop into her plans and would make her realize you two talk to each other - after all, that's what friends do so she's got to learn you're darn close. She'll get the idea.0 -
"What I do question is that after I told her that I was really interested in him, and that we've been out on several dates but are taking things very slowly because we are coworkers and we're both recovering from failed relationships, she decided to go after him. "
Oops. I didn't see this statement.
Here's a real passive/aggressive approach:
You'll do this really cheerfully. I'd say change the method, just tell her that he called you and you know ALL about brunch and that you'd appreciate if she'd give you all the details next time, after all, you're sorta going out with him. You can then tell her he said he was pretty uncomfortable and worried she'd gotten the wrong idea and that you'd clarified with him that she's ONLY INTERESTED IN A FRIENDSHIP AND NOTHING MORE BECAUSE SHE'S RECENTLY DIVORCED. I would tell her that he was clearly relieved once you told him (make sure you call him after this conversation so you can tell him that you helped by telling her that he wasn't interested in anything but friendship). At that point, tell her that it was sweet of her to try and help you develop your relationship with him but that you're doing all right on your own. After all, you talk to him about EVERYTHING which is why you learned about brunch. Basically, you're making a point that you know about her lie and saying it nicely. It'll drive her nuts.
Sometimes it's telling the truth that will drive a person over the edge. You just have to lay it out nicely as she's probably really messed up from her last relationship. In other words, saying you talk to each other and noting you know what she's not telling you will make her stop these types of lies. In the future, keep her away from your male friends unless you want her to end up dating one of them.0 -
It sounds like you got a lot of good advice here. Most importantly be honest with her. Tell her the old "When you did this ..... it made me feel......" I don't appreciate it. Because of this I'm canceling our plans. I'm too hurt right now to be with you.
It does sound like the guy was reaching out to you, feeling uncomfortable, put in the middle of all this. I would ask him directly, did he expect that you were going to be there? How is he feeling by the invite?????? That's what's misssing, here openess and honesty. That should help you figure out how to proceed. He may have wanted you to intervene with this chick, since he know's she's your friend.
bottom line, don't play games, just be honest. Life's too short.0 -
I totally agree. I love your idea of calling the guy and just asking him if he wants her to intervene. He may be worried about offending her friend and thinks they are close. I think starting there is the right idea then she needs to go and nail the truth to the wall so her 'friend' knows that leaving details out is just a form of lying and manipulation.0
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Call that b i t c h out.
And...Id punch her in the *kitten*.
this.
THESE!0 -
tell me again...why your still letting her stay with you?? call her out on it i know a lot of people said this and i honestly hope you do0
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