Girlfriends - I Have To Rant Here

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  • esther1949
    esther1949 Posts: 5
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    Just chalk it off to a learning experience but don't do her anymore favors and do not feel sorry for her. Do you know for a fact that all her so called problems with her hubby are in fact true? If she lied to you and used you then maybe she is a liar and a user.

    Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice.

    Take care
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    HARD.
  • cashew1b
    cashew1b Posts: 59 Member
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    Call that b i t c h out.

    And...
    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    this.


    yepp :explode:

    Twice to make sure she got the message!
  • splashangel
    splashangel Posts: 494 Member
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    Bump for update
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Frankly, I despise liars and if she knows your interest in him, well that's definitely a type of deception. If she doesn't, you'd better clear that up pretty fast by talking to her.

    I'd just say "You know, I talked to **** and he said you guys were going out on Sunday for brunch. I wanted you to know he's a good friend of mine and we've been starting to go out - sorta like a dating situation. He's a little worried about hurting your feelings so he called me to talk about it. He's not interested in a relationship with you and really hadn't planned on going to brunch with you by himself. I think he's feeling a bit uncomfortable as we've been seeing each other a lot and he felt the need to tell me about brunch." You don't have to say when he told you, just address it so she knows your interest and knows he called you. That should do it. Hopefully, she'll immediately invite you and realize her mistake if it's a true error on her part.

    I'd say that would throw a loop into her plans and would make her realize you two talk to each other - after all, that's what friends do so she's got to learn you're darn close. She'll get the idea.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    "What I do question is that after I told her that I was really interested in him, and that we've been out on several dates but are taking things very slowly because we are coworkers and we're both recovering from failed relationships, she decided to go after him. "

    Oops. I didn't see this statement.

    Here's a real passive/aggressive approach:

    You'll do this really cheerfully. I'd say change the method, just tell her that he called you and you know ALL about brunch and that you'd appreciate if she'd give you all the details next time, after all, you're sorta going out with him. You can then tell her he said he was pretty uncomfortable and worried she'd gotten the wrong idea and that you'd clarified with him that she's ONLY INTERESTED IN A FRIENDSHIP AND NOTHING MORE BECAUSE SHE'S RECENTLY DIVORCED. I would tell her that he was clearly relieved once you told him (make sure you call him after this conversation so you can tell him that you helped by telling her that he wasn't interested in anything but friendship). At that point, tell her that it was sweet of her to try and help you develop your relationship with him but that you're doing all right on your own. After all, you talk to him about EVERYTHING which is why you learned about brunch. Basically, you're making a point that you know about her lie and saying it nicely. It'll drive her nuts.

    Sometimes it's telling the truth that will drive a person over the edge. You just have to lay it out nicely as she's probably really messed up from her last relationship. In other words, saying you talk to each other and noting you know what she's not telling you will make her stop these types of lies. In the future, keep her away from your male friends unless you want her to end up dating one of them.
  • Suzannejl
    Suzannejl Posts: 212
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    It sounds like you got a lot of good advice here. Most importantly be honest with her. Tell her the old "When you did this ..... it made me feel......" I don't appreciate it. Because of this I'm canceling our plans. I'm too hurt right now to be with you.

    It does sound like the guy was reaching out to you, feeling uncomfortable, put in the middle of all this. I would ask him directly, did he expect that you were going to be there? How is he feeling by the invite?????? That's what's misssing, here openess and honesty. That should help you figure out how to proceed. He may have wanted you to intervene with this chick, since he know's she's your friend.

    bottom line, don't play games, just be honest. Life's too short.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I totally agree. I love your idea of calling the guy and just asking him if he wants her to intervene. He may be worried about offending her friend and thinks they are close. I think starting there is the right idea then she needs to go and nail the truth to the wall so her 'friend' knows that leaving details out is just a form of lying and manipulation.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Call that b i t c h out.

    And...
    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    this.

    THESE!
  • rickyyykcir
    rickyyykcir Posts: 7
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    tell me again...why your still letting her stay with you?? call her out on it i know a lot of people said this and i honestly hope you do
  • LittleNicci
    LittleNicci Posts: 284 Member
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    Call that b i t c h out.

    And...
    Id punch her in the *kitten*.

    this.

    Call her out AT WORK, in front of HIM and EVERYONE else, embarass the *kitten* outta the lying sack of crap she is. Hell, even better, SHOW UP where they're having brunch AND call her out at work on Monday!
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    First off, it sucks that you are going through this:
    Secondly, call her out, tell her she is a liar
    Thirdly, cancel the plans Saturday
    And finally, go to brunch with the guy on Sunday

    And also tell her that she needs to grow up and that this isn't junior high and that since she is recently divorced, that she is having rebound feelings not true ones for the guy.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
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    ..too lazy to read that whole thing...
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    I would call her out, calmly, don't let her know you are as pissed as you are or she will pull the :"insecurity card" on you, just be firm and let her know she's a *****, then end it with her
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I would rat her out to the guy, cancel all the plans with her after I tell her where to go and how to get there.
  • JosieRawr
    JosieRawr Posts: 788 Member
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    Have future mr. right "invite" you to brunch too and show up about 15 minutes before she does then watch the look on her face!

    I like this! or just show up with him!
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Since she is lying/hiding it I assume she is trying to get with him otherwise there doesn't seem to be a reason she wouldn't be honest with you. It also sounds like she is using you as a ride for all day / a cover story for the husband back home. I would tell the dude (he also mentioned sending the wrong message so maybe he got a vibe that she wants in his pants too ) and screw her
  • 00Melyanna00
    00Melyanna00 Posts: 221 Member
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    HAHA. Call her out on it and say "While you're having brunch with X on Sunday, maybe he can take you out all day Saturday too"

    This!

    I am really sorry to hear this, though. I know what it is to look forward to a day with a girlfriend and then be utterly disappointed by said girl not being really a friend. :(
  • Squashypig
    Squashypig Posts: 60 Member
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    In a nutshell - she has betrayed your friendship and used you to get to a guy she's hot on. And knowing that you're also hot on him just adds insult to injury! Is she the kind of friend you really want in your life. I'd let her know that you're really ashamed that she could behave this way and deceive her friend and that the guy obviously isn't interested in a relationship with her as he told YOU that he doesn't want t give her the wrong signals. I'd make up some excuse that something came up and can't do Saturday, see how she reacts and take it from there. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    LOL,..LOL..THA;LL LEARN ALRIGHT!!!,LOL..LOL..2 FUNNY

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