Deprive yourself..it's the best way
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I've said for a while that if it FEELS like a diet, you're doing it wrong. It doesn't matter the calories.
ETA- to clarify: if you're tired all the time, feel like you can't eat and are generally miserable.0 -
Some people find moderation difficult or their intention is to lose weight as quickly as possible.
Everyone is different.
This. What for works for one may not work for another.0 -
Some people find moderation difficult
This is me. I've had to give up LOTS because I am unable to enjoy processed carbs in moderation. It's gone until I am 100% sure I have rebooted my way of thinking about food. 2.5 months in, and I don't miss those things at all.0 -
I've said for a while that if it FEELS like a diet, you're doing it wrong. It doesn't matter the calories.
ETA- to clarify: if you're tired all the time, feel like you can't eat and are generally miserable.
This
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While I agree that starving yourself is definitely not the way to go, I have to agree with EdDavenport. Some of us need to completely eliminate trigger foods from our diets, at least for a little while, because for us, moderation is impossible. But it's a mental game. I can't look at it as a triumph that I faced birthday cake at a family event and didn't have any. The next day I might look upon it as deprivation and counter with a sugar binge. It can get ugly. I need to think of it as, I don't eat sugar anymore, or, I can't eat sugar, because I have a a problem with sugar addiction. Mental game. Blah. None of this is easy!0
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Some people find moderation difficult or their intention is to lose weight as quickly as possible.
Everyone is different.
Agree whole heartedly with this *for myself*. And I'm not talking about too few calories.
For the vast majority, what the OP said is the road to success. For me, it's not. Moderation is the reason I feel deprived. Moderation tells me I'm missing out on something normally.
In the past, I've had to use willpower to diet. Now I feel like I'm not even trying. For once in my life, I'm eating healthily, have nothing I must taste (no longer desire coffee, cookies, fries etc) and have lots of energy. That's my lifestyle change.
And more importantly I don't judge those that eat any food of their choosing! I'm saying what works for me. Want a treat? I'm glad for ya! Go for it! 0 -
I believe in what you said @ContryGal a 100%! I have been on MFP a month and have started dieting a couple of weeks before that and I know (as all of you) how hard this is. But you will eventually fall into a routine that is easy to keep up. And even though at the beggining I was indeed afraid of eating a cookie or too much cereal, I think now I can balance it more. I still eat healthy for the most of the week but on Sundays those are the days when I allow myself to eat something maybe "not so good" that I might have been craving for. And even during the week I sometimes indulge. The other day I ate a brownie, yesterday I ate 2 slices of pizza. And I'm still losing weight. So people don't starve yourselves or deprive of anything, because the portions of what you eat is what really matters at the end of the day!0
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this is a great idea and I am with you on the slow but sure. I think it is hard not to watch numbers go down really fast. Or want them too. Who doesn't want to be our ideal weight "yesterday". It's just smart to look at the best ways of doing that in order to feel good and look good. But not all people have any interest in toning, they just want the scale to go down. Also, I used to think if I lost weight what would be left would be bone and muscle. Just seemed logical to me. I am glad I know better now:drinker: :drinker:What I do is enter my special treat early in the day. Like a dessert with friends or a special appetizer with dinner. It has worked so far and I have been on MFP for over 135 days. True I have only lost 12 pounds but I only wanted to lose about 20 some. It is coming off slow and sure.0
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For me, I don't consider, "Someone offered me a cookie and I turned it down," to be a victory.
My idea of a victory is, "I met my nutritional goals and still had room for a cookie. Or three."
^This. So much of this.0 -
While I say I have a treat now and again, in all honesty, I don't crave much anymore. I think that can be attributed to eating more nutritious foods(new addictions maybe)and water. I am blown away at what simple H2o can do to eliminate cravings. Everyone has to find their own way. I will keep talking about it though in hopes of even one person being saved from losing a bunch of weight and finding out they are weak, and well, sad because they have now developed a fear of a treat once in awhile.While I agree that starving yourself is definitely not the way to go, I have to agree with EdDavenport. Some of us need to completely eliminate trigger foods from our diets, at least for a little while, because for us, moderation is impossible. But it's a mental game. I can't look at it as a triumph that I faced birthday cake at a family event and didn't have any. The next day I might look upon it as deprivation and counter with a sugar binge. It can get ugly. I need to think of it as, I don't eat sugar anymore, or, I can't eat sugar, because I have a a problem with sugar addiction. Mental game. Blah. None of this is easy!0
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For me, I don't consider, "Someone offered me a cookie and I turned it down," to be a victory.
My idea of a victory is, "I met my nutritional goals and still had room for a cookie. Or three."
^This. So much of this.
^this and this;) :drinker: :drinker:0 -
Just because you don't see ice cream, cookies, cakes, McD, pizza, or chocolate in somebody's diary doesn't mean that they are "depriving" themselves. Some people don’t like to eat that kind of foods or don’t care much for them; it is that simple, and I am one of those people.
So please don’t preach and let everybody do their own thing.
I have had a lot of people make comments on how they would starve if they ate what I did. lol. I haven't given much up really. Small things like ketchup and switching to a sugar free creamer are honestly my biggest changes. One of my dinners the other day was not nutritious according to someone else. I had 3 servings of vegetables and a good amount of protein too. How is that bad? I wasn't depriving myself of anything. I ate things I like the taste of and foods that don't make me sick.
Things most people give up to lose weight are things I didn't eat in the first place because I can't eat them due to health issues. I don't miss cakes. I couldn't eat them before. I don't have many things I can deprive myself of. I have celiac's and other issues too.
I agree with you. Just because not everyone eats sweets and fast food doesn't mean they are feeling deprived. I have been really offended on this site lately due to everyone being so judgmental about those of us who don't indulge all the time. Am I supposed to feel bad about myself because I don't eat as much crap as other people?
As I said in another post, a treat is fine every now and then. I should have added though if food is the main reward a person gives themselves then there may be a food addiction problem. 100 years ago no one would have felt deprived for not eating sweets every day or even every week.0 -
I see people so happy they only ate 600 calories and didn't have a cookie, glass of wine, beer or a piece of Wedding cake. I have eatin not only more nutritious foods since I've found MFP but I also have not deprived myself of something yummy and not within the realm of "healthy nutrition", yes, the dreaded "empty" calories. I am still here and still losing weight and gaining muscle.
Ha ha, I just ate 690 calories for lunch, and that made me happy 0 -
This is excellent and thank you for sharing it darlin:) You are right on! It is about balance and all the rest you said:drinker: :drinker:I believe in what you said @ContryGal a 100%! I have been on MFP a month and have started dieting a couple of weeks before that and I know (as all of you) how hard this is. But you will eventually fall into a routine that is easy to keep up. And even though at the beggining I was indeed afraid of eating a cookie or too much cereal, I think now I can balance it more. I still eat healthy for the most of the week but on Sundays those are the days when I allow myself to eat something maybe "not so good" that I might have been craving for. And even during the week I sometimes indulge. The other day I ate a brownie, yesterday I ate 2 slices of pizza. And I'm still losing weight. So people don't starve yourselves or deprive of anything, because the portions of what you eat is what really matters at the end of the day!0
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Rock on!! What was that saying "screw guilt"? But hey, with MFP there isn't any guilt!!:drinker: :drinker:
I see people so happy they only ate 600 calories and didn't have a cookie, glass of wine, beer or a piece of Wedding cake. I have eatin not only more nutritious foods since I've found MFP but I also have not deprived myself of something yummy and not within the realm of "healthy nutrition", yes, the dreaded "empty" calories. I am still here and still losing weight and gaining muscle.
Ha ha, I just ate 690 calories for lunch, and that made me happy0 -
For me, I don't consider, "Someone offered me a cookie and I turned it down," to be a victory.
My idea of a victory is, "I met my nutritional goals and still had room for a cookie. Or three."
^This. So much of this.
Agree.
Good post OP. I feel the same way. Depriving myself led to five years of struggling with disordered eating for me. These days I let myself have previously "off-limits" things like cereal and chocolate every single day. And I'm losing weight.0 -
Been there. Done that. Doesn't work and makes you feel lousy in so many ways.....and always set me up to fail. Moderation in all things.....plenty of fruits and veggies.....sensible exercise....... and treating yourself now and again WILL keep you from totally going crazy....
I once had a good friend who was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when she was in her 60's - so bad that she had to test her insulin 4x during the work day. We would go to dinner or lunch and once a week she would order a decadent dessert (she loved Italian cannoli and cheesecake). But she would order one and asked me to split it with her. She savored every bite - and it was enough to keep her on track. I learned so much from her.
And, yes, I do have a glass of wine every night with dinner - maybe two on the weekends....0 -
Not sure if this is the best advice to give those who are just starting out. I had to cut out a lot of my favorites for the first three to four months and eat only fruits, veggies, lean meat, low fat and low calorie foods......now that I have got some experience under my belt....I can now go to a party and have a piece of cake but at first I didn't. I can now enjoy full fat ice cream when at first I didn't. Get my point?
I think when the person feels comfortable eating those one or three cookies and are still under their calorie goal is when it is truly an NSV.0 -
GREAT POST!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:0
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The thing I found about depriving myself is that I can only do it for so long and then something happens, and I break down and eat a "forbidden food" and it tastes so good that I just can't stop and before I know it, I'm not following my "diet" plan, have gained all the weight back plus more...and then I am angry and disappointed with myself so I eat even more to comfort myself. Vicious cycle. The plan I am following now (Choose to Lose) allows me to have one free day of eating. You'd think that would keep me from losing weight but I'm 8 pounds down since I started 6 weeks ago which is exceeding my goal of losing 1 pound a week. My other goal is to not just lose weight but to keep it off... something I can do for the rest of my life. Knowing that I get to eat whatever i want on Sunday, helps me stay on track and under my calorie limit the other 6 days...I may not lose as fast as others who don't have a free day but chances are I'll lose more weight and KEEP IT OFF in the long run. Since i've been watching alot of Olympics, I'm going to end by saying losing weight is not a sprint but a marathon. One must plan accordingly to make it to the finish line - reach goal weight AND maintain it. I've always made it a sprint (I want to be skinny now!) and ran out of steam (I can't eat another boring chicken and broccoli dinner) way before I reached my finish line. When I do get frustrated about how much weight I still have to lose, I tell myself, if I keep this up, next year, I will be at least 52 pounds closer to my goal. Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself!0
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As I said in another post, a treat is fine every now and then. I should have added though if food is the main reward a person gives themselves then there may be a food addiction problem. 100 years ago no one would have felt deprived for not eating sweets every day or even every week.
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.0 -
For the most part i agree, its okay to have little treats once in awhile. However, not everyone has that will power yet and its better if they deprive themselves from the food. Im doing great but i still cant eat cool ranch doritos. I would eat the whole bag. Maybe one day.
This. I am unable to limit treats like ice cream, sugar and fried foods so i am learning a new lifestyle where treats are fresh fruit and healthy fats like guacamole and fresh coconut meat. I'm happy others are able to eat junk in moderation, I wish I could.0 -
Totally agree with you here! When I do manage to ditch the sweets and the junk, I don't want it at all. No cravings. I want fruit a lot, and Greek yogurt, and other healthy foods. Lots of water helps every step of this journey, doesn't it? A rare treat is okay. But allowing a treat once a week, or something every day? I can't do it. Opens the floodgates. Everyone does need to find their own way, yes. And you are right that a fear of food is just part of the whole eating disorder thing, an unhealthy relationship with food. Have to learn to trust yourself. It's a tough battle. This is a great thread.While I say I have a treat now and again, in all honesty, I don't crave much anymore. I think that can be attributed to eating more nutritious foods(new addictions maybe)and water. I am blown away at what simple H2o can do to eliminate cravings. Everyone has to find their own way. I will keep talking about it though in hopes of even one person being saved from losing a bunch of weight and finding out they are weak, and well, sad because they have now developed a fear of a treat once in awhile.While I agree that starving yourself is definitely not the way to go, I have to agree with EdDavenport. Some of us need to completely eliminate trigger foods from our diets, at least for a little while, because for us, moderation is impossible. But it's a mental game. I can't look at it as a triumph that I faced birthday cake at a family event and didn't have any. The next day I might look upon it as deprivation and counter with a sugar binge. It can get ugly. I need to think of it as, I don't eat sugar anymore, or, I can't eat sugar, because I have a a problem with sugar addiction. Mental game. Blah. None of this is easy!0
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Ok but tell me a vegetarina doesn't include any Purina products??:laugh:You are absolutley spot on. It's why I call it a "lifestyle" change. Everything is in moderation. I now stop eating 15 minutes before I am full........
I will say one thing though, I am cutting way back on all meats and fish. I would be called 1/2 vegetarina in think, lol.
read Forks over KNives.0 -
The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I freely admit I used to have that mind set. I don't anymore. But what I do works for me. If what someone else does works for them, that's great! But if I want someone to critique my diary, I'll ask for volunteers. ;D0 -
It is hard but getting easier thank God. I hate those voices that tell me "why bother" or "buy that packages of cookies". That's where I mess up, if I buy it, I can't stop eating til it's gone. Not in one day but I have to have some everyday so yeah, I know what that is like. I guess I should be ashamed since I go to other peoples houses that keep snack and sweets and have some there. Then I come home to my "safe house":laugh: Well I didn't make them buy it:laugh: :devil: Thanks for your input, really appreciate it glad we are both here
denise:drinker: :drinker:Totally agree with you here! When I do manage to ditch the sweets and the junk, I don't want it at all. No cravings. I want fruit a lot, and Greek yogurt, and other healthy foods. Lots of water helps every step of this journey, doesn't it? A rare treat is okay. But allowing a treat once a week, or something every day? I can't do it. Opens the floodgates. Everyone does need to find their own way, yes. And you are right that a fear of food is just part of the whole eating disorder thing, an unhealthy relationship with food. Have to learn to trust yourself. It's a tough battle. This is a great thread.While I say I have a treat now and again, in all honesty, I don't crave much anymore. I think that can be attributed to eating more nutritious foods(new addictions maybe)and water. I am blown away at what simple H2o can do to eliminate cravings. Everyone has to find their own way. I will keep talking about it though in hopes of even one person being saved from losing a bunch of weight and finding out they are weak, and well, sad because they have now developed a fear of a treat once in awhile.While I agree that starving yourself is definitely not the way to go, I have to agree with EdDavenport. Some of us need to completely eliminate trigger foods from our diets, at least for a little while, because for us, moderation is impossible. But it's a mental game. I can't look at it as a triumph that I faced birthday cake at a family event and didn't have any. The next day I might look upon it as deprivation and counter with a sugar binge. It can get ugly. I need to think of it as, I don't eat sugar anymore, or, I can't eat sugar, because I have a a problem with sugar addiction. Mental game. Blah. None of this is easy!0 -
That's great, whatever works for you. I have the same mind-set on that. One thing I will continue to do is have an open-mind about what others have learned. I may not agree but some of it might just get me one step closer to a healthier way of doing things. Hey and if it's more pleasant than torture I am all for that:drinker: :drinker:The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I freely admit I used to have that mind set. I don't anymore. But what I do works for me. If what someone else does works for them, that's great! But if I want someone to critique my diary, I'll ask for volunteers. ;D0 -
I eat three meals a day and I eat snacks. I do my best to eat healthy things. BUT... in the evening I have something sweet and it's usually frozen yogurt, strawberry banana that is only 100 calories a half cup. And usually with a 50 calorie waffle cone LOL. Shame on me. Honestly isn't that the beauty of this program? Learning to eat better, learning portion control, learning to exercise regularly. No one says we have to deprive ourselves and I can tell you for one, if I have to completely cut all that stuff out of my diet, I might as well throw in the towel now. I drink the occasional diet soda, I eat lower calorie chips and I even have a cookie now and then. This is a life style that I will have to learn to live with if I ever want to resemble a normal person and not the fat cow I was when I started.0
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I like the idea of treats being nutritious. I think the more I eat healthy the less I want sugar or empty calories. But it is good to know if someone wants a sweet etc. they can without ruining their goals. I do believe it can be harder for others. I don't know if you buy sweets but one thing I try not to do is buy them. I am less likely to eat them if they aren't in the house. And it is a lot harder to talk myself into driving to a store if I get a craving:)For the most part i agree, its okay to have little treats once in awhile. However, not everyone has that will power yet and its better if they deprive themselves from the food. Im doing great but i still cant eat cool ranch doritos. I would eat the whole bag. Maybe one day.
This. I am unable to limit treats like ice cream, sugar and fried foods so i am learning a new lifestyle where treats are fresh fruit and healthy fats like guacamole and fresh coconut meat. I'm happy others are able to eat junk in moderation, I wish I could.0 -
empty out your cabinets refill with healthy stuff and keep around one cheat food i like dark chocolate squares and start slow with exercise and build back up unless im misreading that partOk, I apologize ahead of time for this because at the moment I'm not sure if it's partly the low mood speaking , I'm really glad it's working for you but I've got so much to lose and having been told that I can't do the exercise I did (I was doing 4 hours kickboxing/grappling a week, eating a healthy calorie appropriate diet and still 19.5 stone) that I can't see how on earth I'm going to do this without depriving myself. Any suggestions would be gratefully received0
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