Deprive yourself..it's the best way
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Good points. I NEVER deprive myself. I find that people tend to overdo it if they deprive themselves, then let themselves have what they have stayed away from.
The best way to lose weight is to allow yourself serving size only. If you're going to have cookies, have two cookies. If you're going to have ice cream, have 1/2 cup. Cake? Have a 1-inch slice. Enough to satisfy your craving and then move on. I've started doing this, and I realize now that I stop craving sweet stuff (my weakness).0 -
I do think where disease or other serious health issues are involved that yes, we may have to be careful but hopefully it will be more of a whole change of attitude toward foods and exercise. I hate to see people afraid instead of seeing this deal with excitement and even fun. I don't like seeing people feeling deprived or hopeless, like they can't ever have this or that if they actually can. I do understand their are exceptions where a food is like poison to someone, I am not talking about that. That's not deprivation that's preservation,
PS You are right Paltee
That is so true, we have a tendency to be so hard on ourself, chances are that we are going to have to be carefull regarding what we eat for the rest of our lives, so we may as well be easier on ourself and try to make wise choices and include exercise in our daily routine. Paltee0 -
I HAVE to deprive myself of certain foods or I can't control myself with it. Just like an alcoholic, I'm addicted to certain foods.
Do I deny myself of ALL goodies? No, of course not. But I can't keep peanut butter in my house, I just can't.
I think part of my success was realizing this and learning what I can and cant keep around.0 -
Wait a minute Flax, she is right in what she is saying and I will defend that. Some of us have punished ourselves for years by treating our bodies badly. Getting healthy has nothing to do with deprivation. I don't think you've deprived yourself and she never said you did. She says "if you truly don't want to eat the stuff again". There is the bottom line, you are not depriving yourself because you don't care about the piece of cake or cookie. I wrote this thread on people that think they can't have it but want it and don't realize they could indulge in a piece if they wanted to. Yes, some are allergic or whatever but many people live in fear of having a treat and I do mean in moderation even.
I didn't take her quote personally. I still disagree with it. People can go without treats, even when they feel like they are depriving themselves, because it doesn't match their overall goals. That still doesn't mean they aren't making lifestyle changes. Someone who chooses to only indulge on holidays for example will deprive themselves (of their treat cravings) most of the year. That doesn't mean they aren't making a lifestyle change. Their lifestyle change just includes treats on only special occasions, not never.
If I changed some of the "Deprive" words in your original post and others' posts in this thread to "indulge," you may understand why some people who choose to deprive themselves feel a little judged. There's this weird criticism of people here that don't want to eat empty calories. Someone posts that they are being pressured to eat junk at work and without fail, many people tell them to just eat the brownie. Not everyone wants to eat the brownie just because it is available and it looks good. That doesn't mean they aren't making a lifestyle change, and it also doesn't mean they won't have the brownie ever again. It means they can choose whether they want the brownie. There's nothing wrong with a little deprivation of junk, especially when you are trying to lose weight.
If your post is only for people who are terrified to have a treat, most won't get your post because it is deeper than that for them.0 -
@nwcountrygal......You wrote this thread with good intentions and meant no harm. Your idea is correct.
As you can see though the very thought of not being able to have certain foods puts a lot of people on the defensive. That has nothing to do with health or indulging.
The truth is simple. No one needs cake. No one deserves cake. No one earns cake. Cake and other items like it are eaten because someone wants to eat it. It's really that simple.
If a person wants to have something bad for them they can. It's just best not to do it often. When I say it's fine now and then I mean now and then, such as holidays or special events. For many people it means 3 or 4 times a week. That may be a big improvement for some but the truth is it is simply not healthy. When someone says I deserve a pint of ice cream it makes it seem like a punishment. Why would you deserve something that isn't good for you? If you spend all week avoiding something you know isn't good for you why in the world would you deserve it?
If someone says they want to eat some ice cream just because it's hot and feel like it, I think it's more honest and not likely to be a problem.
I ate ice cream recently. My son bought cadbury caramello bars. I didn't even know they existed. I like the easter eggs. I don't deserve them, I wanted them. There are two other kinds of ice cream in my freezer I will never touch. Chocolate and cookies and cream. I could care less about them. I ate what I did to see if it really tasted like the eater eggs. It did. It was really good. I'm done and will probably never have another. But I admit I ate it because I wanted to.
For most people saying they deserve something is just an excuse to eat something bad. You shouldn't feel deprived of anything. No one is stopping anyone else from eating. It is so easy to get in the habit of eating bad foods, by bad I mean mostly fat and sugar with no nutritional value. Our culture tells us it's okay and good, it's normal. It will make you happy and feel good. Well, the opposite has happened, we are a nation of fat sick unhealthy diseased people who feel deprived if we stop eating the way causing us to become this.
My dogs deserves treats for things they do. Not people. Our bodies deserve to be treated better.
I only posted again so people would know that those of us like me, who don't miss things we never really were hooked on don't think we are better or have all the answers. We are just looking at from a different point of view. Would you tell an alcoholic it's okay to have a few beers on Saturday night because he was really good and didn't drink Sunday thru Friday? For many people it's the same thing.
That's how I look at anyway. Seeing such an outcry and people being so defensive about the thought of not being able to indulge is sad. Everyone can have their fav baddie foods, I am not going to show up and take it and neither is anyone else. It's just hard to believe someone is really trying to lose weight and become healthy when they eat cake, pie, donuts and cookies and everything else under the sun every day or even 3 or 4 times a week. Those the types of people I have been referring too, not any one person.
You seem really nice and I'm glad you started this thread. Yet I feel like there are people who resent those of us who don't feel deprived because we weren't eating most of the bad stuff in the first place. So many people make it clear they aren't giving up certain foods no matter. So let me be clear on how I feel and a lot of others do too. I'm not going to feel bad because I am not craving something or because I don't eat as many bad foods as anyone else. I'm not going to feel bad because I'm not addicted to sweets. Sorry other people are but I'm not. It doesn't mean I'm perfect, I still have problems. Changing the way I eat because of health issues is just as important to me as your goals are to you. So don't tell me I'm going to fail because I don't eat enough or am depriving myself. I had to give up most sweets and all that bad stuff years ago when diagnosed with Celiacs. Sorry I didn't feel deprived. I found other things I could eat and chose the healthy options.
This has been directed at everyone. lol. Some of you are great and some really need help for various reasons. Overeating and undereating are both serious conditions. If you think you have a problem please seek help. I would like everyone to be as healthy as possible. Seriously, are the drug companies and diet fad companies rich enough? Lets support something else for a change.0 -
I believe this is true many times. I just saw it happen with a friend recently. They just wouldn't listen or take my offer of sharing the dinner I had cooked or any of the meals. So I watched her eat little bits of fruit, salad, a lean cousine etc. Then it hit her and she ate 2 cups of cooked jasmine rice I'd made. It was like she was ravenous then she didn't feel good. I asked her why she did it and she said because it just tasted sooooooooooo good! I knew exactly what that is like.
Maybe she didn't want the jasmine rice because she knew she'd eat too much of it if she got started. Some people struggle with portion size of foods like that-whether or not you believe their fruit and salad is deprivation to them. (To me, fruit and salad is often a great meal. Put some jasmine rice in front of me and I'd eat too much of it. I'm willing to do that sometimes. I'm not willing to do it just because someone else wanted me to.)0 -
@nwcountrygal......You wrote this thread with good intentions and meant no harm. Your idea is correct.
As you can see though the very thought of not being able to have certain foods puts a lot of people on the defensive. That has nothing to do with health or indulging.
The truth is simple. No one needs cake. No one deserves cake. No one earns cake. Cake and other items like it are eaten because someone wants to eat it. It's really that simple.
If a person wants to have something bad for them they can. It's just best not to do it often. When I say it's fine now and then I mean now and then, such as holidays or special events. For many people it means 3 or 4 times a week. That may be a big improvement for some but the truth is it is simply not healthy. When someone says I deserve a pint of ice cream it makes it seem like a punishment. Why would you deserve something that isn't good for you? If you spend all week avoiding something you know isn't good for you why in the world would you deserve it?
If someone says they want to eat some ice cream just because it's hot and feel like it, I think it's more honest and not likely to be a problem.
I ate ice cream recently. My son bought cadbury caramello bars. I didn't even know they existed. I like the easter eggs. I don't deserve them, I wanted them. There are two other kinds of ice cream in my freezer I will never touch. Chocolate and cookies and cream. I could care less about them. I ate what I did to see if it really tasted like the eater eggs. It did. It was really good. I'm done and will probably never have another. But I admit I ate it because I wanted to.
For most people saying they deserve something is just an excuse to eat something bad. You shouldn't feel deprived of anything. No one is stopping anyone else from eating. It is so easy to get in the habit of eating bad foods, by bad I mean mostly fat and sugar with no nutritional value. Our culture tells us it's okay and good, it's normal. It will make you happy and feel good. Well, the opposite has happened, we are a nation of fat sick unhealthy diseased people who feel deprived if we stop eating the way causing us to become this.
My dogs deserves treats for things they do. Not people. Our bodies deserve to be treated better.
I only posted again so people would know that those of us like me, who don't miss things we never really were hooked on don't think we are better or have all the answers. We are just looking at from a different point of view. Would you tell an alcoholic it's okay to have a few beers on Saturday night because he was really good and didn't drink Sunday thru Friday? For many people it's the same thing.
That's how I look at anyway. Seeing such an outcry and people being so defensive about the thought of not being able to indulge is sad. Everyone can have their fav baddie foods, I am not going to show up and take it and neither is anyone else. It's just hard to believe someone is really trying to lose weight and become healthy when they eat cake, pie, donuts and cookies and everything else under the sun every day or even 3 or 4 times a week. Those the types of people I have been referring too, not any one person.
You seem really nice and I'm glad you started this thread. Yet I feel like there are people who resent those of us who don't feel deprived because we weren't eating most of the bad stuff in the first place. So many people make it clear they aren't giving up certain foods no matter. So let me be clear on how I feel and a lot of others do too. I'm not going to feel bad because I am not craving something or because I don't eat as many bad foods as anyone else. I'm not going to feel bad because I'm not addicted to sweets. Sorry other people are but I'm not. It doesn't mean I'm perfect, I still have problems. Changing the way I eat because of health issues is just as important to me as your goals are to you. So don't tell me I'm going to fail because I don't eat enough or am depriving myself. I had to give up most sweets and all that bad stuff years ago when diagnosed with Celiacs. Sorry I didn't feel deprived. I found other things I could eat and chose the healthy options.
This has been directed at everyone. lol. Some of you are great and some really need help for various reasons. Overeating and undereating are both serious conditions. If you think you have a problem please seek help. I would like everyone to be as healthy as possible. Seriously, are the drug companies and diet fad companies rich enough? Lets support something else for a change.
Fantastic and well said!0 -
This has a lot of good points and thank you writing it. I think the hardest thing for me is when I honestly care about someone(there was a little gal on here that could be my grand daughter if I'd had children)and I wrote an encouraging note as tactfully as I could to suggest she try eating a bit more because she was stalled on her weight-loss. She stopped writing to me altogether. I want to be honest in how I feel(even if I'm wrong about the way I see healthy)rather than turn away and try not to look. But trust me, I can be a little twit, my sister will vouch for that but I do have a good heart when the rubber meets the road.
So I guess maybe my lesson here on this thread and site, is going to be how to help people without ticking them off. Like I mentioned earlier, I want to remain teachable, always.
For the record, I am blessed with no desire to over-indulge in unhealthy foods or drink. It does seem very easy for me. Maybe I don't get how hard it is for others. You've given me some great food for thought:flowerforyou: Denise@nwcountrygal......You wrote this thread with good intentions and meant no harm. Your idea is correct.
As you can see though the very thought of not being able to have certain foods puts a lot of people on the defensive. That has nothing to do with health or indulging.
The truth is simple. No one needs cake. No one deserves cake. No one earns cake. Cake and other items like it are eaten because someone wants to eat it. It's really that simple.
If a person wants to have something bad for them they can. It's just best not to do it often. When I say it's fine now and then I mean now and then, such as holidays or special events. For many people it means 3 or 4 times a week. That may be a big improvement for some but the truth is it is simply not healthy. When someone says I deserve a pint of ice cream it makes it seem like a punishment. Why would you deserve something that isn't good for you? If you spend all week avoiding something you know isn't good for you why in the world would you deserve it?
If someone says they want to eat some ice cream just because it's hot and feel like it, I think it's more honest and not likely to be a problem.
I ate ice cream recently. My son bought cadbury caramello bars. I didn't even know they existed. I like the easter eggs. I don't deserve them, I wanted them. There are two other kinds of ice cream in my freezer I will never touch. Chocolate and cookies and cream. I could care less about them. I ate what I did to see if it really tasted like the eater eggs. It did. It was really good. I'm done and will probably never have another. But I admit I ate it because I wanted to.
For most people saying they deserve something is just an excuse to eat something bad. You shouldn't feel deprived of anything. No one is stopping anyone else from eating. It is so easy to get in the habit of eating bad foods, by bad I mean mostly fat and sugar with no nutritional value. Our culture tells us it's okay and good, it's normal. It will make you happy and feel good. Well, the opposite has happened, we are a nation of fat sick unhealthy diseased people who feel deprived if we stop eating the way causing us to become this.
My dogs deserves treats for things they do. Not people. Our bodies deserve to be treated better.
I only posted again so people would know that those of us like me, who don't miss things we never really were hooked on don't think we are better or have all the answers. We are just looking at from a different point of view. Would you tell an alcoholic it's okay to have a few beers on Saturday night because he was really good and didn't drink Sunday thru Friday? For many people it's the same thing.
That's how I look at anyway. Seeing such an outcry and people being so defensive about the thought of not being able to indulge is sad. Everyone can have their fav baddie foods, I am not going to show up and take it and neither is anyone else. It's just hard to believe someone is really trying to lose weight and become healthy when they eat cake, pie, donuts and cookies and everything else under the sun every day or even 3 or 4 times a week. Those the types of people I have been referring too, not any one person.
You seem really nice and I'm glad you started this thread. Yet I feel like there are people who resent those of us who don't feel deprived because we weren't eating most of the bad stuff in the first place. So many people make it clear they aren't giving up certain foods no matter. So let me be clear on how I feel and a lot of others do too. I'm not going to feel bad because I am not craving something or because I don't eat as many bad foods as anyone else. I'm not going to feel bad because I'm not addicted to sweets. Sorry other people are but I'm not. It doesn't mean I'm perfect, I still have problems. Changing the way I eat because of health issues is just as important to me as your goals are to you. So don't tell me I'm going to fail because I don't eat enough or am depriving myself. I had to give up most sweets and all that bad stuff years ago when diagnosed with Celiacs. Sorry I didn't feel deprived. I found other things I could eat and chose the healthy options.
This has been directed at everyone. lol. Some of you are great and some really need help for various reasons. Overeating and undereating are both serious conditions. If you think you have a problem please seek help. I would like everyone to be as healthy as possible. Seriously, are the drug companies and diet fad companies rich enough? Lets support something else for a change.0 -
When I saw the title of this thread, I admit, I kind of agreed with it. Deprivation is not a 4 letter word. To me, it means giving up something I want for something I want more. I don't see this as a bad thing. It helps you clarify what you truly want.
There's nothing wrong with not having a cookie even though you want one. It doesn't mean you're not making a "lifestyle change". It means your priorities have shifted and you're OK with a little deprivation. Personally I find that liberating.
Obviously you can take it too far, like anything.0 -
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
I find this post rather belittling of those of us that have eating disorders. I got to the size I am because I eat my emotions...I am an emotional overeater, and it is something I struggle with every day in much the same way someone with anorexia or bulimia struggles. It is just as harmful to my body.
I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I have an even harder time keeping them out of my mouth. It doesnt matter if it is anger, sadness, happiness, or excited, I eat it. My grandfather died? I ate. My brother graduated boot camp? I ate? Stressed out? Food. Everything good? Food. It is not awwwwwwwwwww, I had a bad day, get over it. I literally mindlessly unknowingly eat. A year of counseling and some meds later, I still struggle.
Would I eventually one day want to eat everything in moderation? Yeah, itd be nice. Right now thats impossible. Any kind of baked good triggers me. Any kind of chip triggers me. Cant have gummy candies or chocolate. If I want something sweet, I have a fat free pudding, and even then only when someone is home with me tomdiscourage me feom having more than one. Someday, maybe I can live normally. It must be nice to be able to stop at only a little of what you love.0 -
I find this post rather belittling of those of us that have eating disorders. I got to the size I am because I eat my emotions...I am an emotional overeater, and it is something I struggle with every day in much the same way someone with anorexia or bulimia struggles. It is just as harmful to my body.
I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I have an even harder time keeping them out of my mouth. It doesnt matter if it is anger, sadness, happiness, or excited, I eat it. My grandfather died? I ate. My brother graduated boot camp? I ate? Stressed out? Food. Everything good? Food. It is not awwwwwwwwwww, I had a bad day, get over it. I literally mindlessly unknowingly eat. A year of counseling and some meds later, I still struggle.
Would I eventually one day want to eat everything in moderation? Yeah, itd be nice. Right now thats impossible. Any kind of baked good triggers me. Any kind of chip triggers me. Cant have gummy candies or chocolate. If I want something sweet, I have a fat free pudding, and even then only when someone is home with me tomdiscourage me feom having more than one. Someday, maybe I can live normally. It must be nice to be able to stop at only a little of what you love.
I definately like your points and I hope that you are able to get some help for your eating disorder. I am sorry that you are struggling like this.0 -
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
I find this post rather belittling of those of us that have eating disorders. I got to the size I am because I eat my emotions...I am an emotional overeater, and it is something I struggle with every day in much the same way someone with anorexia or bulimia struggles. It is just as harmful to my body.
I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I have an even harder time keeping them out of my mouth. It doesnt matter if it is anger, sadness, happiness, or excited, I eat it. My grandfather died? I ate. My brother graduated boot camp? I ate? Stressed out? Food. Everything good? Food. It is not awwwwwwwwwww, I had a bad day, get over it. I literally mindlessly unknowingly eat. A year of counseling and some meds later, I still struggle.
Would I eventually one day want to eat everything in moderation? Yeah, itd be nice. Right now thats impossible. Any kind of baked good triggers me. Any kind of chip triggers me. Cant have gummy candies or chocolate. If I want something sweet, I have a fat free pudding, and even then only when someone is home with me tomdiscourage me feom having more than one. Someday, maybe I can live normally. It must be nice to be able to stop at only a little of what you love.
Don't take that as belittling. I think you make the point that for some people cutting items out completely is the best way to go. A lot of people have the same problem as you and I think it's great that recognize it and have sought help. I'm sure it was hard for you and struggles of any kind are well, struggles. Good for you for knowing what triggers you. You will be fine in the long run. Sounds to me like you have already accomplished a lot and should be proud of yourself.
I like to eat a piece of chocolate now and then but I don't buy a bag because I'll eat the whole damn thing. lol.
You will live normally, please give yourself credit for recognizing what your triggers and issues are. I can't help you, haven't been there myself although I know many who have. Maybe try replacing some of the unhealthy choices with good ones and munch away. Instead of opening a bag a chips munch or raw broccoli, or whatever you like and don't mind eating. I think one of the key points for any weight loss program to work is simply switching out some of the food choices. I like broccoli and could eat all day. I need to like more things like it. lol.
Changing habits is a very hard thing to do. Good luck to you. I really don't think the post you referred to was meant to belittle people like you. It seems, to me at least, aimed at people just the opposite of you.0
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