I am done

blueandigo
blueandigo Posts: 296
in Motivation and Support
The sun has set so has my life period. Monday was an overall bad day. I call to find out my rooming for school isn't the way I want it. I go for my morning jog and it took me 44 minutes to do 4 miles. It usually only takes me around 30-34. I just wanted to stop walking and lay ion the road. I couldn't do it anymore. My head has been aching since this morning. For the past 3 weeks it has been raining like everyday and I am sick of it. I'm tired my back is hurting. My feet are hurting. I'm losing interest in everything. I don't want to go back to school. I feel like everything I'm doing now is worth nothing. I don't even want to workout or eat anymore. Everything is becoming a task. I don't have any time for anything. I'm sick. I want to be alone. Problems between my parents are getting worse and it's effecting me. I am ****ing sick of this garbage. I just want to be put to rest because I am tired of being stressed out over things. I want everyone to stop pressuring me. I am forgetting how to spell. I can't remember anything. I am 20 years old, but I feel like I'm in my mid-life crisis. I am done with everything. I just can't put up with all of this stuff anymore.
«1

Replies

  • ACB42
    ACB42 Posts: 40 Member
    It sounds like you're going through a really rough time. Please seek some medical help for your feelings of depression. You don't have to live like that. If you hang in there, this will pass.
  • predent
    predent Posts: 95
    I'm 20, I feel this way too, quite often actually. The whole world feels like a chore. Somebody suggested professional help to me, but I'm too shy to do it (have to love a bit of social phobia). Hopefully you can be stronger than me and get help, whether it be from a friend, family member, or a professional :)
  • JuneBPrice
    JuneBPrice Posts: 294 Member
    How long have you felt this way? I get this way about one day a month, it's just...this horrible feeling. If you're like me, it won't last. However if you've been feeling this way for months now, I think you ought to seek help.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    I'm 20, I feel this way too, quite often actually. The whole world feels like a chore. Somebody suggested professional help to me, but I'm too shy to do it (have to love a bit of social phobia). Hopefully you can be stronger than me and get help, whether it be from a friend, family member, or a professional :)

    Exactly what she said. I'm 21 and I feel the same way. It gets better. I'm going through a rough patch but it's not as rough as the ones I went through from 16-19 and after getting back on track with my feelings etc. I feel a lot better. I'm starting to stray again but I know there is light at the end. Please feel free to add me if you need to talk to someone...if you don't want to speak with me try a friend, family member or a counsellor (many uni/colleges have them for free or as part of your tuition, assuming that is the school you are talking about). Try going to a doctor and check everything out and see if you need to be on any medication for this (it could be a chemical imbalance etc.) Please don't give up, I know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Again, feel free to add me if you need someone to speak with <3
  • thedancingleper
    thedancingleper Posts: 158 Member
    It sounds like you have some serious situational depression and maybe it's even more than that. I'd seek help for it asap.
  • trulycrazed
    trulycrazed Posts: 79 Member
    Go do something fun... change your life... if you hate school/the program you're in, don't go back... eat more spinach (boosts happy chems).
    That's all I got.
    As the song says, "Raise a little hell"!
  • Ahluvly
    Ahluvly Posts: 389 Member
    Hey, it sounds like you're ready to snap. My advice to you is to go to the doctors and talk about it. There should be a student department that deals with this too, or even go and see your course leader or personal tutor. As easy as it is for me to say, things will come full circle and they will improve. You are in charge of whether you wake up in a good mood or not. My advice to you is to do the things that give you pleasure, and see the people that put a smile on your face....what we put "out there" we attract back, it's the law of attraction. I went through a rought time at uni, numerous things were going on in my life at the time and, it does get better. As crap as things seem at the moment, they will improve. You also need to realise that somethings are simply out of your control, e.g. your parents not getting on too great at the moment.

    The good thing with exercise is, it's great for sress. If you're not feeling up to a run, then do something else you enjoy. As for eating, this is a must so don't go any longer than 4 hours in between eating, cut the stimulants, eat regulalry and clean. You are the only one that is in control of your decisions.

    I really hope things improve for you soon, give me a shout if you need to talk.

    Sarah
    The sun has set so has my life period. Monday was an overall bad day. I call to find out my rooming for school isn't the way I want it. I go for my morning jog and it took me 44 minutes to do 4 miles. It usually only takes me around 30-34. I just wanted to stop walking and lay ion the road. I couldn't do it anymore. My head has been aching since this morning. For the past 3 weeks it has been raining like everyday and I am sick of it. I'm tired my back is hurting. My feet are hurting. I'm losing interest in everything. I don't want to go back to school. I feel like everything I'm doing now is worth nothing. I don't even want to workout or eat anymore. Everything is becoming a task. I don't have any time for anything. I'm sick. I want to be alone. Problems between my parents are getting worse and it's effecting me. I am ****ing sick of this garbage. I just want to be put to rest because I am tired of being stressed out over things. I want everyone to stop pressuring me. I am forgetting how to spell. I can't remember anything. I am 20 years old, but I feel like I'm in my mid-life crisis. I am done with everything. I just can't put up with all of this stuff anymore.
  • leahartmann
    leahartmann Posts: 415
    I strongly agree with those saying it sounds like a depression, if it has lastet for some time. Get some help! I have a chronical depression as well (I´m bipolar) and getting help was the single best thing I ever done for myself. Don´t be shy about it. Choose for yourself, that you want a good life- and do whatever necessary.
  • Tucsonwoman
    Tucsonwoman Posts: 38 Member
    Honey you sound depressed and you need some help. Please please call your doctor in the morning. You are too young to know that things will get better and they will I promise you. It's hard to realize that things will turn around because you are down in the dumps right now. You don't have to feel like this, please call your doctor first thing tomorrow. Take care sweetie.
  • beener45
    beener45 Posts: 1 Member
    This is the first post, response, whatever you want to call it that I've done. After reading your words, I am so NOT worried about my weight loss or others. I am worried that a young girl is having a very hard time whether she looks like a supermodel or not. I agree with many of the other comments. Sometimes your brain is in control of your thoughts, emotions and actions and it cannot be fixed without professional help.

    Please know that you are not alone in these feelings, but please reach out to someone near you to help get you up off the concrete!
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    You are good looking and judging by your About Me, I think you are fun and funny. :flowerforyou:
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
    Talk to a counselor or something. You'll be fine.
  • jasondcooper
    jasondcooper Posts: 125
    James, I'm sorry to read that you're having such a tough time. The good news is that you are committed to healthy living, including working out. That's a big plus. If you're not ready for counseling at least consider adding some other elements to your plan, like watching your diet and practicing meditation. These are but two examples of activities that are good for your body but also help with mental focus.

    We will all face times when our lives seem overwhelming. We just have to work through them. To quote FDR: "It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something." I hope that doesn't come across as corny; it's just good advice.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    If you go to your local emergency room and tell them you are having thoughts of suicide they WILL admit you and try and get you the help you so desperately seem to need.
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    I agree with the others in knowing when to ask for help. But if you are not there yet, maybe you just need to step outside of your life for a few days. Find a way to get away, if you can't afford a vacation, spend some time going to the park, walk along the river, ocean, lake beach, forrest, stream...... Spend an evening outside in a hammock. or if it is still raining go to a library and get lost in some books and treat yourself to a great tea. Phone a friend, and bring them dinner. Volenteer at a soup kitchen. Reach out to someone that needs a hug. Wander through an art gallery or museam. Look for things that inspire you, and help you gain perspective. If these things have no effect then it could be a medical problem. Time to book an appointments.
    Sending sunshine your way,
    Shel
  • Cristofori44
    Cristofori44 Posts: 201
    Sorry to hear you're feeling bad and have family troubles. But rain and running under your 4-mile pace is not a life crisis. Go spend time in the IC unit at a hospital; an old folk's home; attend a funeral for a child; or a support group for folks who have amputated limbs or are blind.
  • moonlightturk
    moonlightturk Posts: 398
    1st : CALM THE **** DOWN.
    2nd : Breath
    3rd : Let go of all the negativity in your life
    4th : Surround yourself with positivity
    5th : We all have ****ty days, that's the cycle of life.
    6th: It will get better in no time - have faith and hope.
  • GutterballT
    GutterballT Posts: 6
    You are most certainly not alone in this. I feel like this on a daily basis, and have for the past year and a half. I think there's something seriously wrong with me, but no one else seems to. The real trick is finding people you can vent to, and have a safe outlet to get your feelings out. I'm not gonna try to say it's depression or even throw out a random answer. I think you should look into yourself, however, and take a path you are comfortable with and begin the journey to repair yourself. Like I said, find an outlet. Writing, scribbling/drawing/painting, scream if you need to, or anything that helps you vent. Quiet meditation helps a lot of people, too. If you are comfortable enough to make an appointment to talk to someone, or join a community outreach something, you should. Any action (so long as you aren't hurting yourself) is better than no action.
  • ItzPSGina62
    ItzPSGina62 Posts: 99 Member
    With all the other things going on and your mood, you sound like you have Depression. There is also something called SAD ...Seasonal Affective Disorder. People's moods tend to be gloomy like the weather. I would suggest a therapist. Sometimes that alone can help. He/She can recommend a Dr. if you both decide you want a medical assessment. I'm a therapist, so I see this sort of thing all the time. It's nothing to be ashamed of. The more you isolate the worse it will get. Motivation at this time is difficult as well. Seek some help soon before it gets worse and harder.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
    My head has been aching since this morning. For the past 3 weeks it has been raining like everyday and I am sick of it. I'm tired my back is hurting. My feet are hurting. I'm losing interest in everything. I don't want to go back to school. I feel like everything I'm doing now is worth nothing. I don't even want to workout or eat anymore. Everything is becoming a task. I don't have any time for anything. I'm sick. I want to be alone.

    Sounds like you're using Neuro-linguistic programming on yourself. Try get a better attitude, seriously listen to yourself.

    Man up and grow some balls dude. Your feet hurt because you walked 4 miles? Booohooo. Cry me a river.

    You don't want to go to school? Your parents are fighting and it's annoying you? How about you;

    A) Stop failing and go to school and FINISH IT
    B) Grow up, lose weight and get a job.
    C) Move out of your parents house.

    Then all your problems will be solved.
  • glittermouse
    glittermouse Posts: 582 Member
    Hey, James:
    Just wanted to say that you are not alone in your feelings. I had a rough patch: for about 25 years. At times I felt like I was ready to burst. As others are suggesting, please seek a support system (via hotline, student center, doctor, etc) to help you through this--because you WILL get through this, I promise.

    In addition to the other suggestions above, one thing I'd consider is if you want to take some time off of school while you get some things figured out. Don't think about "letting some one down." Or "it'll be too hard to go back." Or "What will people think if . . ." You come first in this situation.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    GET HELP NOW! I mean medical assistance ASAP. It doesn't have to be this way. When you come out of it, and you WILL with help, it's like a night and day difference. Life IS good after the funk clears. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you!!! :heart:
  • Alohathin
    Alohathin Posts: 360 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue

    Sounds like we've lived similar lives. Though I"m still stuck in the pacific northwest. I hope to be able to move to Florida in 2 years, it calls to me. The sun, the warmth, the water. all things I need desperately.
  • Alohathin
    Alohathin Posts: 360 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue

    Sounds like we've lived similar lives. Though I"m still stuck in the pacific northwest. I hope to be able to move to Florida in 2 years, it calls to me. The sun, the warmth, the water. all things I need desperately.

    Best decision I ever made. The sun is amazing. You don't fully realize how dreary the PacNW is until you leave.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue

    Sounds like we've lived similar lives. Though I"m still stuck in the pacific northwest. I hope to be able to move to Florida in 2 years, it calls to me. The sun, the warmth, the water. all things I need desperately.

    I grew up in Washington State. It's beautiful as hell up there, but also so dreary and my growing up years were soul-crushing. I can't live outside of sunny climates now or I get really down really fast. I'm in Southern California and it's so nice to see the sun shine every day. It can still get a little rough in the fall with the changing light levels, but I manage. I highly recommend a change of climate for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder. :flowerforyou:
  • Alohathin
    Alohathin Posts: 360 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue

    Sounds like we've lived similar lives. Though I"m still stuck in the pacific northwest. I hope to be able to move to Florida in 2 years, it calls to me. The sun, the warmth, the water. all things I need desperately.

    I grew up in Washington State. It's beautiful as hell up there, but also so dreary and my growing up years were soul-crushing. I can't live outside of sunny climates now or I get really down really fast. I'm in Southern California and it's so nice to see the sun shine every day. It can still get a little rough in the fall with the changing light levels, but I manage. I highly recommend a change of climate for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder. :flowerforyou:

    I'm likely going to San Diego when I leave here. Either that, or Australia. I agree about the sun...and Washington. There are a lot of redeeming features for that state, but sunshine ain't one of them.
  • NursRatchett
    NursRatchett Posts: 39 Member
    Keep in mind what makes YOU happy. Be true to yourself first.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I wasted 12 years of my life on depression. The worst part is that they were the years that were supposed to be some of the happiest. From 24 to 36. I don't remember much about those years; if normal memories are like looking through a light cloud, my memories are like looking through dense smog.

    I used to be cheerful, talkative and attentive. Now my inter-personal skills have atrophied. When I try to tell a story to someone in person, I have to keep it short, because I get self-conscious about people listening to me.

    Please don't let this happen to you. It's a miserable life. Fight it. Do whatever you can to persist through it and beat it. For me, that meant making a bold change. I quit my job, moved to Hawaii from the Pacific Northwest with my brother, and started to eat healthy and exercise. It's been 6 weeks, and I can feel my soul repairing itself. The darkness gets lighter each and every day. I have renewed zeal for learning the science that used to intrigue me so much when I was younger. I have more energy than I have had in years. I make eye contact and say hello to everyone I pass on the street (in Hawaii, that's a lot of people).

    Find that fire that will dissipate your darkness, whatever it may be.

    Start by saying hello to everyone you walk past on the street. You'll be surprised how much little things like that will help.

    Cheers,

    blue

    Sounds like we've lived similar lives. Though I"m still stuck in the pacific northwest. I hope to be able to move to Florida in 2 years, it calls to me. The sun, the warmth, the water. all things I need desperately.

    I grew up in Washington State. It's beautiful as hell up there, but also so dreary and my growing up years were soul-crushing. I can't live outside of sunny climates now or I get really down really fast. I'm in Southern California and it's so nice to see the sun shine every day. It can still get a little rough in the fall with the changing light levels, but I manage. I highly recommend a change of climate for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder. :flowerforyou:

    I'm likely going to San Diego when I leave here. Either that, or Australia. I agree about the sun...and Washington. There are a lot of redeeming features for that state, but sunshine ain't one of them.

    Well, if you come to San Diego, I'll be sure to say hi when I pass you on the street! I live a little further north and inland where it's hotter and sunnier, but I go there all the time. It can get overcast being right there on the ocean, but it's a beautiful choice. :wink:
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
    This is exactly how I was feeling through my teens, and my early twenties. I have dealt with severe anxiety and depression, as well as suicidal thoughts, for years. It only truly stabilized in the latter half of my twenties, when I established myself with a decent income and no longer had to live hand to mouth. It's difficult to transition from being a kid to having bills to pay and adult responsibilities, and our society's sheltering of kids from these responsibilities and suddenly turning them out, instead of easing them into it, doesn't help. I agree with others who say that it sounds like you are suffering from clinical depression, and having been there, I have a few suggestions:

    -If you are feeling immediately suicidal, get yourself to an ER if you have no one else to turn to. It is a safe place, and if you tell them that you are suicidal and need someone to talk to and a safe place until you come down from those immediate urges, they will help you. If it's the middle of the night, and you have no transportation to get to an ER, there are phone resources such as nursing hotlines, suicide hotlines, and 911. Your school will likely have these numbers available, if you can't find them online yourself. DO TREAT IT LIKE AN EMERGENCY.

    -Please, please, PLEASE see a counsellor. Regularly. Your school surely has counselling resources, and can refer you if you are low income.

    -Do not be afraid or ashamed to take medication for depression. A substantial part of the population has been affected by it. Many of the greatest minds in history have suffered from depression. I am currently on medication, and have been on medication for many years. I have a chemical imbalance. This illness runs in my mother's side of the family. Taking medication and being alive is better than not taking it, and being dead.

    -Please also discuss with a doctor the possibility of a vitamin B deficiency. Due to many post-secondary students being on a "ramen diet", it is entirely possible that you are deficient. Having insufficient vitamin and mineral intake, especially B vitamins, can sap you of your energy and worsen depression. Taking a B-50 complex has really helped me, in addition to the medication.

    -Please consider that this desire to stop living is not "you", but a chemical imbalance in your body. It is separate from who you really are, and you should NOT let it have control over you, especially over whether you live or die. In desperate times, I would remind myself that what I was feeling was an illness; If I treated it more like something that wasn't a part of my natural state, that needed medical attention much like a broken leg, it helped me get through it alive.

    -Finally, and I know it's hard to accept, but I hope you will take it to heart when I say that ALL of these problems that you listed are temporary. I do not mean to belittle them; they are real problems. As hard as they are to get through, though, with persistence you can overcome every one of them by focusing on your future; take care of your health, work hard on your studies, start new and build existing positive relationships and end toxic ones (even if you have to get away from toxic family relationships, because they DO happen), and it WILL pay off; you will come out of it a happier, more successful, more fulfilled person, I assure you.

Categories