"southern hospitality" myth or no?

I have lived in Houston for two years. There's not really a big difference between here and California. If I were to ask who's nicer I would give a slight edge to californians.
PS..i CAN'T believe how men Do NOT open doors for women down here. That is CRAZY!!!!

I'm from Memphis and I don't know if the South is any kinder/more polite than other areas, but I can say this. . . I was taught to say "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "excuse me" and "thank you". We always thanked our servers or anyone else doing something for us, and made an effort to help our waiters clear the table. We held door open for people, even if they were a bit behind us. We bought Christmas presents for everyone: teachers, regular bank tellers, family, friends, neighbors, etc. My Mumm baked Christmas goodies for every neighbor on our street and we delivered them all on Christmas Eve. If anyone was sick, or had a death in the family, we brought them food (which I'm sure they didn't need). After Christmas was over, we had to sit down and write Thank You notes for every gift we received, and we couldn't spend any of our Christmas money until it was done. Same for birthdays and other occasions.
I'm sure not everyone is this way, but it is definitely more of a way of life down here.

I am from the south (born and raised) having known nothing else. No, I don't talk like Paula Deen although I do have an accent. Yes, I carry a gun (no kidding). Honestly, there are good people and bad people everywhere. I've lived in NC and TN and have experienced the goodness and "not-so-goodness" in people. As for me personally, I try to always be kind to others and treat them as I would want to be treated. I have an open-door policy in my home and if you're a guest, I will bend over backwards to make you feel welcome and wanting to come back. If you are really sick or have had a baby or are moving, I will cook a meal and bring it to you. Doctor's appt. and no babysitter? I will offer to keep your kids. However, if you unjustly come after my husband or my children, you will see a side of me that's not so nice. And yes, I go to church on Sundays AND Wednesday nights.

Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.

That's because Texans don't know the war is over. Funny thing, my family is from the Carolinas never heard them say damn Yankees.

Texas is NOT DOWN SOUTH. It is the Southwest or better yet, its just Texas. That would be like calling New Jersey New England, close but not quite. As a New Yorker who has lived in Texas and family is from Down South (which is basically the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama etc) I have to say that many Northerners need geography lessons.

Texans don't know the war is over??? Seriously???? Good to know I'm a big, fat, racist.

Oh and Carolinas are not Down South, sweetcheeks. They're the east coast. Yayyyyy for geography.

Looks like some Texans need geography lessons too. The South or Down South is the Southeast. Look it up. Down South existed before Texas was a state. And the War is over comment was a joke, but seriously I never heard Damn Yankees anywhere other than Texas. Hell, you say a pledge of allegiance to the state flag of Texas.

A great portion of Texas falls in the Southwest geographically, though there is debate about the Eastern portion of the state. I think its safe to say Texas is just Texas, neither South nor West.

I do think people are more friendly in the South. I definitely know that people from up north are ruder on the telephone - I have a summer job at a call center that deals mostly with people from NY and NJ and BOOOOOOY are they rude! Maybe its because they know they're getting sucked into a bad deal, deep down... (i'm a third party verifier)

I work at a call center too. I would say you are dead-on. Folks in the NE are too impatient and loud and they are always the ones that think everyone but them is an idiot.

I work in CA for a major health insurance company and when we get calls from the East Coast I immediately get anxious knowing what's in store for me on the other end. THe majority (not all) of East coasters I speak to are rude, loud, inpatient and have a feeling of entitlement. THat is not something I experience from CA ppl where I live.

I was born-and-bred in North Florida, and now reside in Alaska.

My definition of what makes a "nice person" has changed dramatically.

In the South, it seemed "nice" was more about charm and manners. Up here, it's more about helping our neighbor, including strangers.

For example, if I blew a tire on a Southern backwoods country road (which happened twice), either no one would stop to help me change the tire, or dozens of cars would pass me before someone would get out and assist me. Here in Alaska, it would be really weird if more than two cars went by before a person would stop to help.

Yet if you walk into a place of business up here, you're not going to be smothered with polite smiles, small talk, and being called "hun" or "darlin'". Keeping up with local happenings can be difficult due to gossip not being as big of a sport up here, plus the fact that many of us live in isolate compared to the Lower 48.

For real "southern" hospitality you need to go to Newfoundland, Canada. Perhaps, collectively, the nicest and most hospitable people on the planet (and I'm not a Newfie so I'm not biased)

The "south" is a cultural construct, and can be considered any state that fought with the confederacy during the civil war. So, Virginia is a southern state.* West Virginia is not a southern state.

Southern hospitality is definitely not a myth, but its prevalence is on the wane. There are true southern gentlemen, but you need to look very hard now to spot them.

America is a country of extremes, those extremes are even more pronounced in the south. Simply put, the south is the best and worst of America in so many ways.

Finally, a true southerner never uses the term "yankee," especially not "damn yankee." The only people I ever heard saying that were northern poseurs trying to pretend they were from the south.

--P

* Virginia is the best southern state, btw. The sacred soil. But that is a topic for another thread. ;-)

I'm from Memphis and I don't know if the South is any kinder/more polite than other areas, but I can say this. . . I was taught to say "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "excuse me" and "thank you". We always thanked our servers or anyone else doing something for us, and made an effort to help our waiters clear the table. We held door open for people, even if they were a bit behind us. We bought Christmas presents for everyone: teachers, regular bank tellers, family, friends, neighbors, etc. My Mumm baked Christmas goodies for every neighbor on our street and we delivered them all on Christmas Eve. If anyone was sick, or had a death in the family, we brought them food (which I'm sure they didn't need). After Christmas was over, we had to sit down and write Thank You notes for every gift we received, and we couldn't spend any of our Christmas money until it was done. Same for birthdays and other occasions.
I'm sure not everyone is this way, but it is definitely more of a way of life down here.

Too funny as I can relate to pretty much everything on your list. This past spring, I had two sons who graduated--one from college and one from high school. When they got the envelopes with the money inside, the rule was that if it was cash, it couldn't be spent until a thank you note was sent and if it was a check, they couldn't cash it (therefore not spend it) until the thank you notes were written. This requirement was on top of a face-to-face thank you if the person who gave them a card was present while he opened it.

I believe this was true, maybe 20 years ago. We as a civilization are changing into more cold and uncaring people. We walk around with head phones in not to be bothered by others, so the little chit chat, how about this weather conversation is going away. Love thy neighbor is almost non existent now.

Until expansion, if there was an SEC team in that state it was "The South". :laugh:

Technically, below the Mason-Dixon Line is "the south, meaning Virginia and Maryland are included. Culturally, though, they are no longer "southern" except maybe parts of Virginia.

By my definition, culturally speaking, "Down South"..."The South" is AL, LA, MS, GA, Northern FL, AR, TN, SC, NC.

I would agree with this list.

I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.

<-- I'm not the typical southerner I suppose. Born and raised in Biloxi, MS. I leave the house without makeup fairly often (like... every day? LOL) I don't make it a habit of brushing my hair (in fact, the "before" pictures are the only pictures where I actually did more than ran my fingers through my hair and pinned it back out of my face... LOL). I have no accent. I don't use the word "ya'll" or "ain't" and I call soft drinks "soda" rather than calling everything "coke". However, when we moved to Kentucky (which btw is NOT the south.... it is a southern state, but I don't consider this the south... no offense to Kentuckians... I do like it here! LOL), I was made fun of by some people for my children saying "yes ma'am/no ma'am" and "yes sir/no sir" to everyone and also calling people "Mr." and "Ms." rather than just blurting out their first names as if they were their friends (My children call my friends Ms. Chrissy or Mr. Noah... not Chrissy and Noah).

Now, I will say my mom hates that I don't wear make up and my brother likes that I don't wear it. He says I'm naturally beautiful and don't need it while my mom just says "Marie doesn't care how she looks". Actually, I DO care how I look, I just don't feel like I have to be done up all the time to be presentable.

I am generally polite, but if I don't like someone, I don't talk to them. If I see them in public, I will smile, but I will not stop to hold a conversation and I kind of let it be known I don't intend to either.

Looks like some Texans need geography lessons too. The South or Down South is the Southeast. Look it up. Down South existed before Texas was a state. And the War is over comment was a joke, but seriously I never heard Damn Yankees anywhere other than Texas. Hell, you say a pledge of allegiance to the state flag of Texas.

A great portion of Texas falls in the Southwest geographically, though there is debate about the Eastern portion of the state. I think its safe to say Texas is just Texas, neither South nor West.

Again, the labels of region are highly fluid... and I don't even know the pledge to the Texas flag... I don't know anyone that does, nor do I know any teacher that has their kids say it. And no, we fall into the South Central area of the country (unless you divide the continental United States up into quadrants then it would also include California, Nevada, Utah, Oklahoma and Colorado)... cultural geographically speaking (which is what we are talking about.. the cultural geography of the South.. not the literal map based geography of the South)... trust me, I have my degree in Geography... But again, historically Texas is considered the South because it fought with the Confederacy in the Civil war...

Oh and by the way the US Census Bureau defines Texas as the South.

Try this story:
My Dad was a Methodist minister, so when we went on a family vacation, we'd always stop somewhere on Sunday morning to attend worship services. The denomination didn't matter much, just whichever 'brand' was nearby at church time.
In Oxford, Mississippi, we went to the Methodist Church. We sat down, and a gentleman introduced himself, Clyde Call-thop, with a heavy southern accent. (Later found out his surname was Colthorpe.)
He and his wife insisted that we visit their home after church for Sunday dinner. (That means lunch to y'all yankees.)
We went.
Fried chicken, biscuits and gravy, mashed taters, blackeyed peas, iced tea, and pecan pie for dessert -- all home made.
Never seen us before, but we were invited into their home to eat!
Now, THAT'S southern hospitality.

I work at a call center too. I would say you are dead-on. Folks in the NE are too impatient and loud and they are always the ones that think everyone but them is an idiot.

My experience from a call center perspective is that people everywhere can be really, really rude, especially if it involves money. I've had a couple people who clearly don't understand how credit cards work tell me that I "clearly" didn't know what I was talking about.

When in reality they were just too stupid to know that pending charges are not processed charges.

But this happens with people from all over; I think the rudest, most entitled person I spoke to was an English woman calling from Vancouver, BC (where I once lived and found everyone I interacted with to be exceptionally polite) who wasn't smart enough to get her device working and then exclaimed "I want a -neeewww- one!" (With "new" being emphasized and in that high-pitched, spoiled brat tone.)

Southern women have been quite rude to me, and many a New Yorker has been ridiculously, exceptionally rude—but some have been really nice and great conversation, too.

Every time I've been in the south I've not met anyone who was nicer than anywhere else ...