Things you wish you knew before you moved in

OMG this is me and my husband too.. we have been together 2 years and haven't farted in front of each other.. and her I thought we were the only couple!!!

now you know, some of us still care about how we present ourselves to our SO

I wish I knew WHY my wife (GF at the time) needed to have the AC on all summer long in our bedroom and the ceiling fan during the 7-9 non AC months. It was for the noise. I was freezing but it turns out all she needed was the noise to sleep.

One of the best presents I ever bought my wife was a white noise machine, now I don't needlessly freeze.

When we moved in together we divied up the house cleaning tasks. We both do about 80% of it. I always clean the cat box and she always cleans the bathroom but the other 80 falls to us both.

The rule was supposed to be whomever cooks doesn't do the dishes, but somehow even when I cook I do the dishes. We have a dishwasher so it's just pots and pans really so whatever.

The most important thing is choose your side of the bed wisely, it's one of the most important decisions OF YOUR LIFE.

I wish I knew the following:

cleaning: you better like doing it, lots and lots of it, and I mean LOTS
missing items: things mysteriously disappear, and then re-appear in obscure places
the remote: it will be permanently attached to his hand
sleep: get good ear plugs, and get your own blankets, unless you like waking up in the middle of the night without them
the bathroom/bathroom sink: it will be covered in itty bitty scattered whiskers, which get stuck in your clothes and/or underwear-happiness is 2 bathrooms, 1 for each person
money: talk about it now, decide who will cover which bills, I have found separate accounts is much easier
personal space: even though you are living together, I firmly believe that keeping an area that is 'all your own' be it a desk/room where you can write ideas/journal/do *your* thing is vital. You are still an individual, and need to keep something that is *yours*.

Best of Luck!

Farting.

There will be SO much farting.

The kind of farting that will make you wonder what he ate. The kind of farting that will make you worry about when he's old and doesn't have as good control on his bowels. The kind of farting that will make you laugh despite yourself, which, in turn, will make you worry that he's farting some kind of nerve gas or nitrous oxide.

Brace yourself.

OMG This is SO true! I swear we have a constant green haze floating over our house because of the methane my husband's butt can produce. And for God's sake...watch out if he eats Jalapeno peppers! :sick:

The best is that your kids are victims too. Nothing like my 7-year old girl saying, "Daddy, seriously???? You are disgusting."

we have a rule, My girl and I. If we would NEVER fart on the first dates together, it is NEVER acceptable to do it now. We been together for 4 years and none of us has yet to break wind... er.. the promise!

OMG this is me and my husband too.. we have been together 2 years and haven't farted in front of each other.. and her I thought we were the only couple!!!

You guys are cute.

Wait until you have kids. It all changes. Womens bodies change during pregnancy. They fart and pee and poop, even when they don't want to.....sometimes they aren't even aware of it. Then there is the whole delivery thing itself. Nothing like watching a head come out of her va-jay-jay while her taint tears in half and she is firing poop nuggets across the delivery room knocking nurses over.... all the time you are trying to get her to "remember her breathing" while she is calling you a muther f--ker in front of everyone in there. Then a small purple alien with a cone shaped head comes out and you scream... "What the f--k is that?" All the time more goo is coming out of her and there is blood and poop and goo and..... and then the baby cries. And it all seems OK. Nothing like hearing that first cry. Of course then it doesn't shut the f--k up for the next.... welll..... it has been 10 years and the only time he stops talking is when his sisters are talking.......

But I am rambling.... where were we?

You guys are cute.

Wait until you have kids. It all changes. Womens bodies change during pregnancy. They fart and pee and poop, even when they don't want to.....sometimes they aren't even aware of it. Then there is the whole delivery thing itself. Nothing like watching a head come out of her va-jay-jay while her taint tears in half and she is firing poop nuggets across the delivery room knocking nurses over.... all the time you are trying to get her to "remember her breathing" while she is calling you a muther f--ker in front of everyone in there. Then a small purple alien with a cone shaped head comes out and you scream... "What the f--k is that?" All the time more goo is coming out of her and there is blood and poop and goo and..... and then the baby cries. And it all seems OK. Nothing like hearing that first cry. Of course then it doesn't shut the f--k up for the next.... welll..... it has been 10 years and the only time he stops talking is when his sisters are talking.......

But I am rambling.... where were we?

you are awesome!!!!

The fifty shades was little more F'ed up than the red room of pain..

Farting.

There will be SO much farting.

Wait...are you telling me that's NOT really the dog?

Lets see.. (This is after spending weeks with him at a time before I moved in)

1. He should have known I'm cold nature'd and WILL use a blanket on the coach no matter that the A/C is on 78.. I cool down quickly..

2. That my dogs shed.. they are short haired dogs.... get over it we clean the floors regularly. and NO I will not get rid of them..

3. That I have a lot of cloths- knew this already but still want's to complain about it EVEN THOUGH we have separate sides of the closets and I don't push my cloths over onto his side.. I don't see what the problem is...

4. I have always put the dishes in the sink after using them EVEN THOUGH the dishwashers is right beside the sink.. At least I don't leave them on the counters beside the sink instead of inside it.. I hate that he does this.. and then he is anal about me putting them in the sink instead of the dishwasher...

5. That he has a bad habit of leaving cup/dishes around the house... Really?

Other than those minor things that he already knew about- and sometimes mentions daily- its all good and peachy!

They use so much toilet paper!!!! I swear we go through a roll a day and I have no clue why. Guys don't wipe when they pee, right!!?

This too!! I used to get a 4 pk of toilet paper for myself and that would last me a good month or more. With him living in the house, we buy a 6 pk and replace it almost bi-monthly. WTH?

I wish I knew the following:

cleaning: you better like doing it, lots and lots of it, and I mean LOTS
missing items: things mysteriously disappear, and then re-appear in obscure places
the remote: it will be permanently attached to his hand
sleep: get good ear plugs, and get your own blankets, unless you like waking up in the middle of the night without them
the bathroom/bathroom sink: it will be covered in itty bitty scattered whiskers, which get stuck in your clothes and/or underwear-happiness is 2 bathrooms, 1 for each person
money: talk about it now, decide who will cover which bills, I have found separate accounts is much easier
personal space: even though you are living together, I firmly believe that keeping an area that is 'all your own' be it a desk/room where you can write ideas/journal/do *your* thing is vital. You are still an individual, and need to keep something that is *yours*.

Best of Luck!

Some men actually clean up their wiskers properly. It took my first girlfriend to FREAK OUT ON ME about it to learn.

My wife and I have 3 accounts. Our personal accounts and a HOUSE account. We get an allowance in our personal accounts and all the rest of our money goes into the house account. It works awesome. Everything gets paid for out of that account, bills, groceries, dinners out, vacations, etc.

Where it works out really well is we don't see how much the other is spending for prezzies around christmas and I can lie about not going over our spending limit on each other, because I go over every year.:bigsmile:

*sigh* I freaked out, and continue to freak out on stuff not getting cleaned up or put back where it goes (shoes go ON the shoe rack, NOT in the middle of the entryway where I can trip on them)
he suffers from a 'selective hearing' disorder.

oh yeah, that's the other thing MEN ALL SUFFER FROM SELECTIVE HEARING DISORDER