I am a terrible Husband/Training Partner to my Wife

She's lucky to have you. I can tell by reading your words that you love her very much! All you can do is to do the best that YOU can do. I'm sure your wife will love you no matter what. Don't give up, you can do this. I think it would help if you shared this with her. Maybe she can be that person that motivates you to get you going down the right path. Good luck!

Positive reinforcement works for me. Whenever I've worked out and tell my boyfriend, he always has a smile and positive comment of some sort. It makes me feel good and encourages me to keep at it. Find something that helps you and let your wife in on it. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help!

I have my good and bad days too. One word of advice: don't beat yourself up about it! It sounds like you've been making some progress, which is great. Once you get into the habit, it gets easier. Look for exercise that you find fun. Try swimming or biking if your feet hurt. The more weight you lose, the easier it will be do all sorts of exercise.

Good luck!

Hmmmm, your topic "I am a terrible Husband/Training Partner to my Wife" and your story just don't seem to match up to my way of thinking. A terrible husband wouldn't give a crap about it. You care very much and that alone makes you a far cry from "terrible." Have you talked with her about this? Figure out together how you two can get in sync on this. Tell her what you need from her in the way of motivation. Support one another. And always remember, you two aren't competing against each other. So one of you loses two pounds and the other loses three pounds. One of you didn't win some race against the other. You both lost five pounds! Yeah for the both of you.

Sometimes, putting it down in black and white can be very enlightening.

When you say that you and your wife decided to get healthier, was it just you going along with her? The thing with weight loss, especially when you're looking at 100+ lbs, is that it's a long term committment. If you haven't truly committed to it, heart and soul, and for your own reasons that mean something to you, you'll keep up this viscious cycle. First thing, you have to forgive yourself for your previous behavious and draw the line for yourself. But you need a why that will take you through the rough spots, and there will be some along the way. The fact that your wife is very committed to this can only add to your success.

To give you some perspective here, I'd spent a lot of time yo-yoing, gaining and losing weight, crying about it, starting to do something, letting myself get discouraged and falling back into bad habits. I was miserable with myself, which seeped into every part of my life. A few things happened over the last couple of years that pretty much solidified the "Why" for me, and I've been committed to working out and eating better ever since.

The first thing was my mother in law. The woman had been retired for as long as I'd been with my husband, but she was horribly obese - there's no polite way of saying it. She had gone to weight watchers, but didn't really follow it terribly seriously. She went out for short walks, once in a while, but never kept it up. She took up all kinds of things, like Suzanne Sommers books and various kinds of sit on the couch and get your excercise devices, with the predictable results. She didn't want to put the effort that was required in, and the weight kept piling on. Her joints were wearing out. She had a hip replacement, which helped a bit, but the stress on her joints was still too much and she was in a lot of pain. She ended up taking a lot of pain killers and was virtually a prisonner in her own home, since moving was painful. She thought she was bullet proof because of her family's genetics, but she wasn't. She died two years ago. In the last few years of her life, her husband was in constant attendance to her, because she resented it horribly if he was out too long getting groceries, volunteering, or socializing without her. After seeing that, I swore that I would never put my husband through that, and have been steadily dropping the weight since then.

The second thing was my own mother. She's still around, but is quite infirm due to COPD after a lifetime of smoking. She has fallen twice and broken a hip each time. I realized that if she fell again, or if I ever had to move her around in an emergeny, I was not strong enough, and she only weighs around 100 lbs. Part of my resolve has been to get stronger, and I have been doing that.

As a consequence of my decisions, my health has greatly improved, my strength has increased noticibly, and my life has been much better overall.

I hope you can find a why that will make you committed to making the necessary changes for the long term. In the meantime, please continue to support your wife and let her know how proud you are of her progress and determination. Once you do have your why, you know that she'll be there for your.

Awww You obviously love your wifey so much. I totally know how you feel about working out. Been on and off the wagon myself for a long time. But this time I decided this is not about losing weight. It's about getting healthy. [Losing weight is an added incentive].

I'll tell you a tip. Try doing one excercise just for five minutes. Like riding the elliptical or the treadmill. Just try to do that everyday for a week. Then the next week you can increase it for ten minutes and so on. Just think about it as some normal everyday thing you do.
This is how I got my sister to workout and she was one of the toughest people to get in to it

Take it easy. Just few minutes on the treadmill now and then would make such a difference. Wish you all the best