weights at the gym...Im scurred :(

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jibbala
jibbala Posts: 76 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
How did you ladies overcome the intimidation that comes from lifting at the gym? There are women who lift at my gym...they are the fitness model very buff kind. Ive never had a good experience using free weights at a gym. At our previous gym someone actually laughed when I grabbed some lighter weights and made a rude comment about my ability. I know its stupid but I am so intimidated to try it again. I was very heavy when this happened and had worked up so much courage to try something new. Everyone is so strong and knows what they are doing at our current gym. Lots of young douchey gym dudes who like to flex in the mirror and scream when they lift and oogle the ladies. I do the machines...but I hate the machines and know I'm not getting the same benefit.

Basically...I need some serious confidence.
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Replies

  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
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    I hired a personal trainer to work with me in the weights section once a week. That gave me the confidence that what I was doing was right, and to grab weights of the correct weight for me. It also taught me good form.
  • Lisha_R
    Lisha_R Posts: 92 Member
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    I was very intimidated. I had to gather my courage and walk in. I was sure they would stare at the fat girl trying to use their weights. Truethfully its not their weights we need to remember that. Luckily no one said anything to me. Maybe because i go to the Y. They get all kinds of people there. I know I looked silly but I tried. I am hopeful next time will be easier. Have you tried going at different times? Not sure what your schedule is.
  • tayladub
    tayladub Posts: 11
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    I'm in the same situation as you. I go to an Air Force base gym and let's just say I'm not the best looking one there. All the guys are lifting 90 pound dumbbells while I can barely do a dumbbell bench press with 10 pound weights! I feel like a failure. Do you know the exercises you want to do? If not, I highly suggest looking up bodybuilding.com. I know a few other girls that have used this website. They love it and have seen amazing results.

    I also agree that you should get a personal trainer. It doesn't have to be every day that you work out. Just plan a couple sessions so you get the gist of how you should be performing the exercises and specific exercises that you should do.
  • KellyAlyssa84
    KellyAlyssa84 Posts: 90
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    There aren't personal trainers at my gym (I know, right?) to guide me and the free weights area is very intimidating. So, I use the cardio machines and spin at the gym and then I go home and use my free (literally! ha!!) weights and bench. Lame, yes, but I'm working up the nerve.

    You'll get there. It takes just that one moment of courage to take the bull by the horns, then you'll be asking yourself why you didn't sooner. Good luck!
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    Everybody looks like an idiot the first time. Even those huge beasts wandering around the gym. They had to start somewhere. Suck it up.
  • jibbala
    jibbala Posts: 76 Member
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    During the week I'm stuck going after work...even going later the place is packed. Sunday isn't too bad and hubs comes with me and that helps. He isn't always able to come with me after work though. There is only 1 gym within 15 miles of my house so everyone goes there and its busy even middle of week on a Tuesday.

    The last time I sucked it up I was humiliated so just walking in like I own the place is not something I'm ready for. I'm not totally bee to weights and do have an idea of what I'm doing.
  • seehe
    seehe Posts: 946 Member
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    Personally, I would find a different gym!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Educate yourself first- get a copy of New Rules of Lifting for Women or Starting Strength, read it, watch some videos on you tube. If you only do that, you'll be more knowledgeable than 75% of the people there.

    Then, if you still feel unsure of yourself, hire a trainer for a session or two- they'll walk you through it.

    Once you have an idea of what you want to do, put on a pair of headphones, hold your head high, and just do it. You'll soon find people are way too in to their own workout to spend too much time paying attention to others. Just remember, those buff chicks were beginners once too!
  • Enough99
    Enough99 Posts: 4
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    You are in the gym for you, having a personal trainer even for a short period of time will give you confidence in your form and ability. Anyone who goes to a gym regularly will recognize your effort and commitment to improve your health. The "lookie lou's" never last long in a gym, you will earn respect by making an effort asking for assistance, and being there routinely. Stick with it, my first entrance into a gym I weighed 354 pounds, but now when I leg press 450 pounds and grunt (sort of porn sounding) I get respect:) Stick with it:) cause "a girls gotta grunt!"
  • Cheeta_HH
    Cheeta_HH Posts: 489 Member
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    I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I feel completely out of my element! Even though I know that those beefy guys aren't really looking at me and thinking, "What is she DOING? That's not right!", I feel completely self-conscious. I met with a trainer only once. I felt great using the weights and machines while she was right there guiding me, but on my own... I just haven't gotten comfortable.

    I attempted to look like I knew what I was doing by typing all the trainer's notes in my phone. I thought I was pretty clever... pretending to change the song on Pandora when I was really looking at my notes to see what the heck I'm supposed to do. Great plan- until I accidentally deleted it while I was setting up my first machine!

    So, for now, I'm doing free weights at home and I found a class that I love that uses weights. I don't know if I will ever get the nerve to head back to the weight room, but I think my current routine is working well for me, so I'm OK with that.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    I was scared too. Then I walked in, put on my I-Know-What-I'm-Doing-****-Off face, and picked up some heavy things.

    I'm still very much a beginner, but I act confident and no one bothers me. The more you do it (and the more you educate yourself about it), the more your confidence and actual knowledge grows. There's a solid chance someone WILL at some point be unpleasant to you. It's happened to me. But who cares? Everyone has to start somewhere. Even the biggest guy started from square one, and if he's going to make fun of you for doing the same than he's a *kitten* anyways.

    Good luck!
  • Renee1583
    Renee1583 Posts: 4
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    Do a personal training session or two, and learn how to use free weights if you want to. You will still be getting benefits from the machines so try not to be too hard on yourself! I think it is the same at every gym with the people who will judge, but you have to remind yourself that you are making a positive and difficult change to your life and your health for your future. Once I knew what I was doing with the weights it made it a lot easier, but I find that I also get good benefits from using the fixed weight machines. It really is just about what works for you :o)
  • ILoveJesus72
    ILoveJesus72 Posts: 181 Member
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    Well as a fat lady trying to lose weight I was terrified of the gym. I just threw myself in it and realized that no one really cares what i am doing and if they do, I don't care!!

    As far as weights go, I just threw myself into those as well. I am doing 3 sets of 10 until I can build myself up to more. Just take a deep breath and be brave.......you deserve this and don't let anyone or anything stop you :)
  • jibbala
    jibbala Posts: 76 Member
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    Thanks for the support ladies. I have no issues doing other new things...bikram yoga...body conditioning...bootcamp classes. In fact I went to a new class tonight! The weights freak me out though. Im going to look into cost for a few training sessions and that weight lifting book and see where I can go. I gotta blast away my jiggle!
  • Zalect
    Zalect Posts: 11 Member
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    As a guy, I can tell you the only reason it seems like we're looking around is because we're stalling before the next set. There is most likely no thoughts going threw our mind besides "****, my arms are rubber right now." Just do your thing, you're not being judged. Trust me.
  • Nyranee
    Nyranee Posts: 57
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    Go there and overcome your fear and if someone stares or says something just look at him/her smile, walk there and ask ... you look like you know how this works, would you please have a look if I do this right ? I am sure they will help and understand that you are trying.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Also- you can always ask someone. I'm in the very small minority being a woman that lifts heavy at my gym, and from time to time I see girls watching me, looking interested in what I'm doing. I kind of wish they would come ask me! I'm not going to go up to someone watching me and be like "Hey- Want me to show you how to do this???" because it would be weird and aggressive. But I would be happy to help anyone who asked!
  • HeidiSmith419
    HeidiSmith419 Posts: 71 Member
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    LOL I'm scared too ;) I go to a Navy gym and have stayed in the pool mostly but am thinking I want to try weightlifting a bit. I haven't done it since high school though. They do have female trainers but the idea of working out in a fully mirrored room with a packe d house of Navy guys is SCARY. I hear ya! I will get up the courage. Took me two months to make it into the pool ;)
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    First thing is to do as much out of gym research as you can. Forums like this one and body building ones can be extremely beneficial and you can lurk over the topics you're interested in as well as ask questions if needed, YouTube is another good source that has a lot of instructional videos, and are of course there are million websites. Second, go to the gym, get on a bike or treadmill or just walk around paying attention to the weight lifters and just learn by watching them, and finally, bite the bullet and give it a shot. If you feel uncomfortable about doing something or your form or whatever, then ask someone for advice or for a spot. Generally, you can find a decent person or two that would just be thrilled you're there doing something. Also, asking an employee wouldn't be a bad idea.

    The thing to remember is, you're doing this so that you can get healthier and with that comes confidence. You're not going to be perfect at first, but you have to start somewhere...just like everyone else did. It's about you, and what you're doing to make the changes in your life. You've already shown that you've decided to be dedicated to get in the best shape you can just by joining this site and asking this question. You WANT to learn, you WANT to succeed, and that's all you need to succeed.

    The best way to get over a fear is take that one step further than last time. You got this. Remember, you are already awesome because you've already made the choice to be the best you can be...everything else doesn't matter.
  • KellyAlyssa84
    KellyAlyssa84 Posts: 90
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    First thing is to do as much out of gym research as you can. Forums like this one and body building ones can be extremely beneficial and you can lurk over the topics you're interested in as well as ask questions if needed, YouTube is another good source that has a lot of instructional videos, and are of course there are million websites. Second, go to the gym, get on a bike or treadmill or just walk around paying attention to the weight lifters and just learn by watching them, and finally, bite the bullet and give it a shot. If you feel uncomfortable about doing something or your form or whatever, then ask someone for advice or for a spot. Generally, you can find a decent person or two that would just be thrilled you're there doing something. Also, asking an employee wouldn't be a bad idea.

    The thing to remember is, you're doing this so that you can get healthier and with that comes confidence. You're not going to be perfect at first, but you have to start somewhere...just like everyone else did. It's about you, and what you're doing to make the changes in your life. You've already shown that you've decided to be dedicated to get in the best shape you can just by joining this site and asking this question. You WANT to learn, you WANT to succeed, and that's all you need to succeed.

    The best way to get over a fear is take that one step further than last time. You got this. Remember, you are already awesome because you've already made the choice to be the best you can be...everything else doesn't matter.

    very sound advice! thank you!

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