Parents and Birthday Parties... WTF
Okay, so over the weekend, my girlfriend and I threw my oldest daugher (now 9) a birthday part at Chuck E Cheese. (oh yes, we all hate that place too)...
In case you don't know, the birthday parties there are setup on tables next to a bunch of video screens and animatronic stuff with loud obnoxious music and kids and headache making material... This I understand, we all hate it, and it's just the way it is.
So we're there and waiting for kids to show. First mom shows up and says something to the effect of "I can't take this" and waves her hands at the screen and such "I'm going to go" and I thought she meant out where the kids would be playing and such.. or the tables on the far end of the place but apparently, she was dropping her 9ish year old daughter off and leaving for a bit. She was just *gone*.
Now, bear in mind, I've never met this woman in my life, a new school year just started, and my daughter invited some friends from class... This woman, is going to leave her 9 year old daughter, with a man she's never met in her life and just leave? Are you crazy? Okay, so we have some adults, and I'll keep an eye on her, fine, whatever I guess... I'm kind of in shock already.
Queue the second parent.. or rather grandparent... He shows up, with two other kids and I'm thinking "okay, so you want me to feed those two as well, I'm not going to turn them away, but bad form dude."... Well, I was wrong. He doesn't say "hi", doesn't introduce himself.. just asks "Part over at 2?" I reply (a bit puzzled) "Yeah... we've got this area 'til two"... He says "okay" and walks the F out!
Holy crap, we're currently at 0 for 2! Both girls, and both with some guy they've never met! (Granted, I'm not a psycho, but they don't know that!!!)
So third parent shows. She comes over (with another couple of kids), introduces herself, and has her son do the same and hand me the gift for my kid. Again, I'm just assuming the worst at this point. Well, turns out she really doesn't want to impose, and takes the other two kids to play and feed them separately from us and doesn't want to impose as she didn't rsvp, but does stick around and kinda keep an eye on her son.
Now, parent number three was awesome, and really didn't want to impose with the other kids after not rsvp'ing or asking for them.. That's cool.. but seriously...
What the hell is wrong with the other two? Is this a normal thing these days? I would get if we were in a small town, or we'd, I don't know... met EVER? Am I crazy for thinking I'd NEVER drop my 9 year old off with people I don't know and just assume she'll be fine?
Towards the end of the party, the second kid was clearly upset, having no idea where her grandpa or whatever (he had a greatest grandpa ever shirt on :laugh: ) was... Apparently, he came and picked her up from the play area without so much as stopping in to check with us, and I had to assume that she was fine, that really freaked me out! Like, seriously!
WHAT THE *kitten* PEOPLE? All you have to do is make an appearance, and be there.. You already drove all the way there, enjoy some damn pizza, pop some ibuprofen and let the kids have at it.
Tell me I'm not overreacting, or maybe I am... But I seriously couldn't imagine doing that in reverse!
In case you don't know, the birthday parties there are setup on tables next to a bunch of video screens and animatronic stuff with loud obnoxious music and kids and headache making material... This I understand, we all hate it, and it's just the way it is.
So we're there and waiting for kids to show. First mom shows up and says something to the effect of "I can't take this" and waves her hands at the screen and such "I'm going to go" and I thought she meant out where the kids would be playing and such.. or the tables on the far end of the place but apparently, she was dropping her 9ish year old daughter off and leaving for a bit. She was just *gone*.
Now, bear in mind, I've never met this woman in my life, a new school year just started, and my daughter invited some friends from class... This woman, is going to leave her 9 year old daughter, with a man she's never met in her life and just leave? Are you crazy? Okay, so we have some adults, and I'll keep an eye on her, fine, whatever I guess... I'm kind of in shock already.
Queue the second parent.. or rather grandparent... He shows up, with two other kids and I'm thinking "okay, so you want me to feed those two as well, I'm not going to turn them away, but bad form dude."... Well, I was wrong. He doesn't say "hi", doesn't introduce himself.. just asks "Part over at 2?" I reply (a bit puzzled) "Yeah... we've got this area 'til two"... He says "okay" and walks the F out!
Holy crap, we're currently at 0 for 2! Both girls, and both with some guy they've never met! (Granted, I'm not a psycho, but they don't know that!!!)
So third parent shows. She comes over (with another couple of kids), introduces herself, and has her son do the same and hand me the gift for my kid. Again, I'm just assuming the worst at this point. Well, turns out she really doesn't want to impose, and takes the other two kids to play and feed them separately from us and doesn't want to impose as she didn't rsvp, but does stick around and kinda keep an eye on her son.
Now, parent number three was awesome, and really didn't want to impose with the other kids after not rsvp'ing or asking for them.. That's cool.. but seriously...
What the hell is wrong with the other two? Is this a normal thing these days? I would get if we were in a small town, or we'd, I don't know... met EVER? Am I crazy for thinking I'd NEVER drop my 9 year old off with people I don't know and just assume she'll be fine?
Towards the end of the party, the second kid was clearly upset, having no idea where her grandpa or whatever (he had a greatest grandpa ever shirt on :laugh: ) was... Apparently, he came and picked her up from the play area without so much as stopping in to check with us, and I had to assume that she was fine, that really freaked me out! Like, seriously!
WHAT THE *kitten* PEOPLE? All you have to do is make an appearance, and be there.. You already drove all the way there, enjoy some damn pizza, pop some ibuprofen and let the kids have at it.
Tell me I'm not overreacting, or maybe I am... But I seriously couldn't imagine doing that in reverse!
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Replies
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Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:0
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Ironically, I told my ex-wife about it, and she wasn't all that concerned about it... that reaction scares me...0
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I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.
Way too many helicopter parents now a days.0 -
Holy crap. I can't imagine leaving my kid in a loud, busy place with a person I don't know at all.0
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I would NEVER leave my 7 year old daughter at a party especially in a public place, especially with someone I had never met. I might take a seat along the back wall and not super hover but not just freakin leave. I agree at your outrage.0
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Unreal no you are not over reacting! I would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know shoot she's 6 months and has never been babysat by anyone but me or my husband.0
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I am with you man, everyone just lives under a freakin rock these days, I won't even take my eyes off my kid at the park play ground, meanwhile every other mom or dad is reading a book or texting or playing on facebook. That's just crazy.0
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My daughter (who was 4 at the time) was invited to a party there and when we got there the parents of the birthday boy just assumed we were just dropping her off and leaving her with them. She was 4, yeah I don't think so, I had never met them before and that place was a mad house its hard enough to keep track of one child in there let alone several all at once.0
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I called the mom of my son's best friend to ask if we could take him to the zoo. I'd never met her before. She said she'd get back to me.
Turns out she called the teacher at school and the day care provider we both use and 'vetted' me.
I got good reports from both, so she called me back and accepted.
I'm totally okay with this. It was good to know she had sense enough to think about it. I don't trust just anyone with my kid and I don't want YOU to trust just anyone with your kid.0 -
Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:
at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.0 -
I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.
Way too many helicopter parents now a days.
I am in no way a helicopter parent. I'm psyched for my daughter to go to school, I have no problem with dropping my kids of with a trusted adult/day care. But to drop my GIRL child off with some random dude and leave? No. Freaking. Way.0 -
I can't believe this!! I would NEVER leave my child at any party, especially if I didn't know the parents. I took her to a swimming party a few weeks ago, I actually went to high school with the kid's mom but I still sat on the side and made sure my daughter was fine. I didn't know how much someone else would be keeping an eye on the kids in the pool.0
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ANY party that my girls are invitied to, I introduce myself and I stay. I've only had a couple parties where I didn't need to stay but I still felt weird leaving. At a busy party place, there's no way I would drop my kid off (unless it was with another relative or a very close friend of mine). Its hard enough to keep track of your own kids, let alone kids you really don't know.0
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I have several things to say on this...
First, perhaps you need to make your invites more concise? My son's bday party was yesterday. It specifically said, "Parents and all siblings welcome. Please RSVP by x date with the total number attending. Please bring swimsuits for kids or adults that would like to swim as well as floaties or live jackets, towels, etc. Please keep an eye on your children while swimming! We will be eating blah blah blah and non-alcoholic beverages will be provided...." You get the point. I'm super specific (had to learn the hard way that I HAD to be super specific. They know who is welcome, and that they're responsible for their children. Although we have one person watching the kids at the beach at all times, it's not a drop and run.
Second, I would personally never leave my kid with any guy I didn't know. I can't believe anyone would, but that's just me.
Third, don't invite kid's whose parents you haven't met. I made that mistake once and never will again. *LOL* hehe
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I can't speak for everywhere but in my area, that's pretty typical for parties at about that age. Parents don't usually stick around at a birthday party unless it's for really young kids.0
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I really don't see a problem with dropping your kid off at a birthday party. I get that the parents don't know you however your child is the one who invited the friends to this party and the parents are obviously assuming you're NOT psycho. If your child has a friend over do you expect the parents to stay and have coffee with you while the kids play because they don't know you? No. And as someone else stated it's a party for children, not parents. I wouldn't expect the parents to even want to stay at a kids birthday party.0
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I called the mom of my son's best friend to ask if we could take him to the zoo. I'd never met her before. She said she'd get back to me.
Turns out she called the teacher at school and the day care provider we both use and 'vetted' me.
I got good reports from both, so she called me back and accepted.
I'm totally okay with this. It was good to know she had sense enough to think about it. I don't trust just anyone with my kid and I don't want YOU to trust just anyone with your kid.
That's interesting but a great way to check someone out when you don't know them!!
This is exactly why I stay involved at school. I attend every class party, field trip and have a small role with the PTC. I can stay involved, get to know other parents, get to the know the kids at school and my kids are used to me being in their classes.0 -
I invited my son's entire football team over for his birthday when he was 8. Not a single parent stayed at my house, and one left her daughter with me too! So I was alone with 20 kids. Most of those kids had never been at my house either!
I am always leary of leaving my kids alone with other adults. But at a public place like chuck e cheese, where you have to be stamped in and out of there, I wouldn't be as worried as if it was at a home.
But they seem like THOSE KIND OF PARENTS really don't care.0 -
Years ago I didn't even know leaving kids behind was an option. I was making the invite for my son and someone mentioned dropping their child off and I was like, "No!" What was I going to do with 20 little kids by myself so I learned to make it clear on the invites that parents must stay with the children. There are some family friends that, of course, I keep if need be to make sure they can attend but anyone can hang out for a couple of hours and play on their phone - especially if I don' t know the kid or the parent.0
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Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:
at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.
Unfortunately... things aren't as they used to be:(( It's very sad. I grew up in a time where we were locked out of our house in the summer until my Mom came home for lunch and then home for the evening. We made our own fun and we were our own babysitters.
You just can't do that kind of stuff anymore.0 -
People are simply stupid! I am an overly protective mom of an 8 year old and a 2 year old. I don't leave my daughter at parties or school functions without my approval of the adult supervision. I actually had a mom not let her child be friends with my child since I wouldn't let her attend a sleepover. She found me on Facebook and sent me a message asking to have my daughter over and had no idea who the hell I was. And I'm the bad parent?0
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I could understand your problem if they were 3 but 9 seriously? :huh: Even the overprotective parents I know tend to drop and run by the time they're 7yo.
I don't expect parents to stay as soon as they reach school age - that's standard where I am. Occasionally if its not at home and too far for it to be worth going home again someone will hang around. Mostly people drop and run and are grateful for the break :laugh:
I know I'm in the UK but this seems to be taking overprotective parenting to the extreme.0 -
At my 6 year old's party at the pool, the only parents that stayed were the ones I specifically asked to stay to help. It has been that way for all the birthday parties. Granted, we all know each other pretty well, but unless your invitations asked the parents to stay, that is pretty expected that they won't.0
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Seriously... I time my 11 yr old when he goes in a public restroom! I don't trust anyone now a days with mt kids! I mean, don't these people watch the news? "Oops, it was my 7 year olds first time walking home alone ... I didn't think he could get chopped up!" You are NOT out of line at ALL.0
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Well good for you. Times are different and I will not be a parent crying on the news about how my kid was taken or killed. So absolutely call he a helicopter parent that is 100% fine with me.:explode:Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:
at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.0 -
I never drop my child off. I always stay even if it feels awkard. Anybody get be a serial killer or a rapist. OMG! I agree with you, 100%!0
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I don't leave my seven-year-old at parties alone, even when I know the parents. I figure the parents can always use an extra pair of eyes watching all the kids, and God forbid something happen to mine with me not there....0
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I have several things to say on this...
First, perhaps you need to make your invites more concise? My son's bday party was yesterday. It specifically said, "Parents and all siblings welcome. Please RSVP by x date with the total number attending. Please bring swimsuits for kids or adults that would like to swim as well as floaties or live jackets, towels, etc. Please keep an eye on your children while swimming! We will be eating blah blah blah and non-alcoholic beverages will be provided...." You get the point. I'm super specific (had to learn the hard way that I HAD to be super specific. They know who is welcome, and that they're responsible for their children. Although we have one person watching the kids at the beach at all times, it's not a drop and run.
Second, I would personally never leave my kid with any guy I didn't know. I can't believe anyone would, but that's just me.
Third, don't invite kid's whose parents you haven't met. I made that mistake once and never will again. *LOL* hehe
It was for my daughter and her friends, I have no problem with who she invites, I just seriously had no idea that this is common practice (the manager of the place said it happens all the time).
I was perhaps not specific enough with the invites, I made the (apparently bad) assumption that most parents would bring the kid and stay for the duration in some fashion. I even had a separate table for the parents to chill and have pizza and let the kids have their fun without us hovering badly. I did state that food and drinks would be provided for both children and parents, and that I need an RSVP by a certain date... just surprising in general.
I'll know for next time I guess!0 -
I wouldn't drop my kids off at some party with people I've never met. If anything, I'd introduce myself and thank them for having us and maybe move to a different table as to not be an inconvenience, all the while keeping an eye on my kids.0
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This definitley scares me but now a days, parents are crazy (not all) but some are!! My son is two and I will never leave him alone with a parent I do not know especially at a busy place like chuck e cheese!!! Wow I would love to slap some sense into those people.0
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