Parents and Birthday Parties... WTF

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Haha that is NORMAL! The kids know each other and the parents dropping off assume it's okay and safe. I have had several parties for my kids and nephew and it's rare to have an adult stay! I do hate when the parents drop them off at the door and don't even introduce themselves.

I hate the idea of dropping off the kids and running. I HATE IT. It freaks me out to no end. But my kids are 6 and 3, so still too young to be left alone at a party.

However, there is a group of girls that my 6 year old has grown up with (playdates starting at 3 months old). We, as a group of moms, take turns being the mom to stay, while other moms can drop and run. There are about 6 kids in this "group." We all know each other's children really well, who is allergic to what, who freaks out at what,appropriate discipline, extended family, etc. We call the mom hosting, find out who elsefrom the group is invited, figure out which mom will stay, and let the hosting mom know which kids we are "responsible" for. This has worked out well, I have to stay at a party about once a month at a place like CEC's. It helps knowing that I don't always have to stay, but there is a trusted adult at the party if I don't know the host.

I also have no problem RSVPing that if my 6 year old attends the party, my 3 year old will be there, too. And vice-versa. I also make it clear that there is no responsibility for feeding the non-invited child, but that they will be there. MOST parents are happy to give the other kidlet cake and treats.

And for the record, we've hosted pool parties where the invite clearly states that we don't have a lifeguard on duty, and the parents are responsible for their child's safety. We've a few parents pull the drop and run with kids who can't swim. That always dumbfounds me.

The rate of kidnappings and other crap is down dramatically over the past 10-20 years. Check the stats out with your local police, most likely things are actually more safe now then ever.

The media just posts more stuff about this, but it is actually happening less frequently. Check out the book "free range children" great read.

Very true.

I was just wondering to my husband this weekend what the age is where it becomes appropriate for parents to drop kids off. The first parties I remember this happening were around the age of 8.

So I guess I don't see it as that inappropriate, although I don't know if I will be ready to leave my son somewhere at that age. Plus, I like to play, so I love Chuck E. Cheese parties.

It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!

I think it is the opposite now. In the 60s-80s, parents didn't watch their kids every movement and now you get parents arguing with teachers over bad marks, instead of getting upset with the kid.

This is not even the same as staying with them at a birthday party. I just spent my entire weekend at the soccer field, I also spend my entire weekends in the gym for wrestling, on the mountain for skiing, weeknights for 6 weeks at baseball games and whatever else my kids are doing. But I'm not going to hang out at my 9 yo soccer practice, wrestling practice or birthday parties that are meant for him and not me.

The rate of kidnappings and other crap is down dramatically over the past 10-20 years. Check the stats out with your local police, most likely things are actually more safe now then ever.

The media just posts more stuff about this, but it is actually happening less frequently. Check out the book "free range children" great read.

Very true.

I was just wondering to my husband this weekend what the age is where it becomes appropriate for parents to drop kids off. The first parties I remember this happening were around the age of 8.

So I guess I don't see it as that inappropriate, although I don't know if I will be ready to leave my son somewhere at that age. Plus, I like to play, so I love Chuck E. Cheese parties.

My daughter is 10 (she'll be 11 in November) & is going into 5th grade this year...I still won't just drop her off & I know most of her friend's parents. As I've said...I just sit back & watch them go crazy; but I feel better knowing that I'm right there if she gets hurt for some reason or some strange kid starts picking on her or worse. If that makes me paranoid; so be it.

And for the record, we've hosted pool parties where the invite clearly states that we don't know a lifeguard on duty, and the parents are responsible for their child's safety. We've a few parents pull the drop and run with kids who can't swim. That always dumbfounds me.

I do drop off at parties after age 7 but that is the one party that I always stayed at! It's crazy that parents drop and run at a pool party!

Matter of fact, sadly, I have stopped allowing my children to attend pool parties because of the children who are dropped off and also the children who's parents do stay but have their back to the pool chatting. I spend the whole time freaked out about other peoples kids drowning. I would rather take my children elsewhere.

The deal breaker was when I saw a 3yo on the diving board and the parents at the grill getting burgers. I said, "WOW, your 3yo can swim?" and they answered, "no, why do you ask?". Of course it was me who flew to the diving board to pull the kid off before he jumped in eight feet of water.

That was my last pool party.

I have kids your age and I see this behavior from parents all the time. I don't agree with it, but it is prevelant

My daughter will be 3 this fall and she doesn't have any school friends yet so up to this point it's been all family and friends with their kids (1 to 8 yr olds). All of the parties for all of the kids we know are attended by parents.

Our kid, our responsibility.

How do I know if a lone adult can handle 20 children they've possibly never met before...many of whom are out of control? IF that parent even gives a damn about these other kids. No thanks, I'll be there until I know the situation, who is there to supervise and/or until she's old enough to be by herself at a party, which will depend on her personality, maturity and level of responsibility.

God forbid some of these parents not be present at any point of their kids life where mommy and daddy are not there to protect them. I guess all you can do is chain them to your leg and make sure no one ever picks on them or makes them deal with anything that may be hard to deal with.

At least you know you can get you kids to class on time when they go to college. Kind of hard to be late with mommy there.

It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!

I think it is the opposite now. In the 60s-80s, parents didn't watch their kids every movement and now you get parents arguing with teachers over bad marks, instead of getting upset with the kid.

This is not even the same as staying with them at a birthday party. I just spent my entire weekend at the soccer field, I also spend my entire weekends in the gym for wrestling, on the mountain for skiing, weeknights for 6 weeks at baseball games and whatever else my kids are doing. But I'm not going to hang out at my 9 yo soccer practice, wrestling practice or birthday parties that are meant for him and not me.

Of course I will go to all the games, if he does sports, but not practices etc. My parents didn't miss one of my football games or track meets, but they never attended any practice.

I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.

Way too many helicopter parents now a days.

^^^^ AMEN!!!!! - I had a Chucke Cheese party for my 6 year old twins, they both invited 6 friends, parents dropped off and left, it would have been IRRITATING to me to have them stand around and watch! Mind you, I am more into a style of free range parenting (the way I was raised!)

Um, I didn't read all these responses, but I think it's weird you would expect parents to stay. Parents never stayed at my birthday parties.

Things that were perfectly fine and safe when I was growing up just aren't safe anymore. Especially for girls.

What changed? Or is it that you just see and read about it more as the media puts more emphasis on it?

God forbid some of these parents not be present at any point of their kids life where mommy and daddy are not there to protect them. I guess all you can do is chain them to your leg and make sure no one ever picks on them or makes them deal with anything that may be hard to deal with.

At least you know you can get you kids to class on time when they go to college. Kind of hard to be late with mommy there.

Mandy there's a world of difference between being a completely obsessed helicopter parent and leaving your child with a stranger in a public place just because there's a birthday party.