Parents and Birthday Parties... WTF

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  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    The rate of kidnappings and other crap is down dramatically over the past 10-20 years. Check the stats out with your local police, most likely things are actually more safe now then ever.

    The media just posts more stuff about this, but it is actually happening less frequently. Check out the book "free range children" great read.

    Very true.

    I was just wondering to my husband this weekend what the age is where it becomes appropriate for parents to drop kids off. The first parties I remember this happening were around the age of 8.

    So I guess I don't see it as that inappropriate, although I don't know if I will be ready to leave my son somewhere at that age. Plus, I like to play, so I love Chuck E. Cheese parties.

    My daughter is 10 (she'll be 11 in November) & is going into 5th grade this year...I still won't just drop her off & I know most of her friend's parents. As I've said...I just sit back & watch them go crazy; but I feel better knowing that I'm right there if she gets hurt for some reason or some strange kid starts picking on her or worse. If that makes me paranoid; so be it.
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
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    Besides, I know Chuck-e-cheese and there's no kid leaving there without the proper stamp matching the proper adult . . . and I have yet to see a space in one where a crazy adult can sneak off with a 9 year old unnoticed.

    I would like to add that our local CECs has yet to check our stamps....We get them on the way in every time, but never checks them when we head out. I've left with other kids plenty of times to give them rides home. As long as the adult and child(ren) look happy and comfortable together, our CEC just lets you walk right on out of there. In fact, I'd be shocked if they checked our stamps.
    Policies aren't always followed.
  • bakay138
    bakay138 Posts: 47 Member
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    And for the record, we've hosted pool parties where the invite clearly states that we don't know a lifeguard on duty, and the parents are responsible for their child's safety. We've a few parents pull the drop and run with kids who can't swim. That always dumbfounds me.

    I do drop off at parties after age 7 but that is the one party that I always stayed at! It's crazy that parents drop and run at a pool party!

    Matter of fact, sadly, I have stopped allowing my children to attend pool parties because of the children who are dropped off and also the children who's parents do stay but have their back to the pool chatting. I spend the whole time freaked out about other peoples kids drowning. I would rather take my children elsewhere.

    The deal breaker was when I saw a 3yo on the diving board and the parents at the grill getting burgers. I said, "WOW, your 3yo can swim?" and they answered, "no, why do you ask?". Of course it was me who flew to the diving board to pull the kid off before he jumped in eight feet of water.

    That was my last pool party.
  • crazycarrol
    crazycarrol Posts: 12
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    every birthday party my son has been invited too I have never once seen a parent just drop their kid off and leave. they have always stuck around.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    I have kids your age and I see this behavior from parents all the time. I don't agree with it, but it is prevelant
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    My son (6) has went to two birthday parties that were thrown by kids from his school/people that I'd never met before.

    Both times I felt oddly out of place and like some kind of unwanted lingering weirdo by taking my school book and phone and finding somewhere to sit off to the side. Of course I did this after introducing myself to the parent and telling my child where I'd be. But no, I would never ever leave my child with someone I don't know, let alone, what if something happened and they got hurt??

    Now if my son was older and depending on his maturity level, I would consider dropping my child off like that. But only after introducing/chatting with the parent of the party first.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    My daughter will be 3 this fall and she doesn't have any school friends yet so up to this point it's been all family and friends with their kids (1 to 8 yr olds). All of the parties for all of the kids we know are attended by parents.

    Our kid, our responsibility.

    How do I know if a lone adult can handle 20 children they've possibly never met before...many of whom are out of control? IF that parent even gives a damn about these other kids. No thanks, I'll be there until I know the situation, who is there to supervise and/or until she's old enough to be by herself at a party, which will depend on her personality, maturity and level of responsibility.
  • emmie0622
    emmie0622 Posts: 167 Member
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    Granted my kids are 22 and 18 but I always had enough adults helping me, sisters, my parents, nieces etc to supervise any kids I invited and so did the other parents in my kids classes. I never stayed for the whole party unless it was too long distance wise to go back home and I never felt uncomfortable about it either. You are throwing the party, you supply supervision for the kids
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    God forbid some of these parents not be present at any point of their kids life where mommy and daddy are not there to protect them. I guess all you can do is chain them to your leg and make sure no one ever picks on them or makes them deal with anything that may be hard to deal with.

    At least you know you can get you kids to class on time when they go to college. Kind of hard to be late with mommy there.
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
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    No way I'd leave my son with anyone I didn't know, or usually even with someone I did know unless it's my mom. Shame on them. We had my son's bday party on July 1... we were expecting just as many adults as kids, all the parents stayed, and we had a great time. That's the way it should be.......:sad:
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!

    I think it is the opposite now. In the 60s-80s, parents didn't watch their kids every movement and now you get parents arguing with teachers over bad marks, instead of getting upset with the kid.

    This is not even the same as staying with them at a birthday party. I just spent my entire weekend at the soccer field, I also spend my entire weekends in the gym for wrestling, on the mountain for skiing, weeknights for 6 weeks at baseball games and whatever else my kids are doing. But I'm not going to hang out at my 9 yo soccer practice, wrestling practice or birthday parties that are meant for him and not me.

    Of course I will go to all the games, if he does sports, but not practices etc. My parents didn't miss one of my football games or track meets, but they never attended any practice.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.

    Way too many helicopter parents now a days.

    I am in no way a helicopter parent. I'm psyched for my daughter to go to school, I have no problem with dropping my kids of with a trusted adult/day care. But to drop my GIRL child off with some random dude and leave? No. Freaking. Way.

    ^^ I agree.....cant trust people now a days.
  • Josee76
    Josee76 Posts: 533 Member
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    I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.

    Way too many helicopter parents now a days.

    ^^^^ AMEN!!!!! - I had a Chucke Cheese party for my 6 year old twins, they both invited 6 friends, parents dropped off and left, it would have been IRRITATING to me to have them stand around and watch! Mind you, I am more into a style of free range parenting (the way I was raised!)
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:

    at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.

    Unfortunately... things aren't as they used to be:(( It's very sad. I grew up in a time where we were locked out of our house in the summer until my Mom came home for lunch and then home for the evening. We made our own fun and we were our own babysitters.

    You just can't do that kind of stuff anymore.


    ^This

    Things that were perfectly fine and safe when I was growing up just aren't safe anymore. Especially for girls.

    I would consider leaving her if I knew the parent hosting but the fact that they had never met you before and still left their children freaks me out. I would have probably done like parent #3, hang back at my own table so I could keep an eye on her but not be directly in the middle of the party.
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    Um, I didn't read all these responses, but I think it's weird you would expect parents to stay. Parents never stayed at my birthday parties.
  • Determinedtorunon
    Determinedtorunon Posts: 39 Member
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    I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.

    Way too many helicopter parents now a days.

    My two cents, there are not enough helicopter parents, we are not talking about teenagers, we are talking about 9 year old children, come on people!!! I would not and have not left my kids at a party where I didn't know the parents. Yes the party is for the kids but like parent #3, I would have stayed in the area just in case my services are needed. That's is one of the major problems nowadays people are just so inconsiderate of other people. COMMUNICATE, at least ask the dad if it will be ok if you ran an errand or two but don't just take his kindness for granted.....EXIT stage left.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Things that were perfectly fine and safe when I was growing up just aren't safe anymore. Especially for girls.


    What changed? Or is it that you just see and read about it more as the media puts more emphasis on it?
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    A nine year old, I'd leave at the party IF I knew the parents hosting. In your situation, I would have stayed and watched my kid and help supervise the others. I wouldn't have been helicopter, but at least keep an eye out. It's one thing to trust your kid, but another to trust everyone else in Chuck E. Cheese!!
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    God forbid some of these parents not be present at any point of their kids life where mommy and daddy are not there to protect them. I guess all you can do is chain them to your leg and make sure no one ever picks on them or makes them deal with anything that may be hard to deal with.

    At least you know you can get you kids to class on time when they go to college. Kind of hard to be late with mommy there.

    Mandy there's a world of difference between being a completely obsessed helicopter parent and leaving your child with a stranger in a public place just because there's a birthday party.
  • camy_chick
    camy_chick Posts: 277 Member
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    we threw our at the time 6 year old daughter a party and invited kids from dance and school....the ONLY parents that were here were my husband and i, and his sister and her hubby. that was IT and there were over 15 kids in total(4 of which were ours/hers). so we had 11 kids in the house that we had NEVER met the parents before, or the kids really. granted it was at our house, not the most huge house or town. but 11 kids who we didn't know about, didn't know their likes/dislikes............i DID make sure to at least get everyones phone number before they left and asked them if they wanted mine. i was kinda shocked that all the parents left. but after the 1st 2 really just dropped their kids off, i was just like, fine whatever. do you want to stay or go? your kid WILL be fine. but it's your choice.

    but coming to a party at chuckies, i would have to say i would have at least stayed in the building so my kid didn't freak, unless i KNEW the parents/kids and i knew my kid would be fine. and at places like that, it's easy for 1 or 2 people to lose track of 1 kid, let alone a whole party of kids!

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