I don't care what you think, this is my life!

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  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    Well, your friend is right. Your body IS different. (1) You've had kids. Your hips have almost certainly widened as a result. You will likely have to weigh less to get to the same pants size. (2) You are no longer a 17 year old athlete. You probably have lost some muscle definition. This will also make you bigger in size at the same weight as muscle is more dense than fat.

    That being said, flat out tell her to butt-out. Stop talking about your eating and exercising habits in front of her. When she brings it up, say "I don't want to discuss this" and move on. 5'10" and 155 is a pretty average BMI and should be achievable.
  • Lisame11
    Lisame11 Posts: 58 Member
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    Hi,

    The replies are right, it could be jealousy, but it could also be her own fears about her struggle with weight that are coming out, or her awareness that she is not having the success you have. Its tricky really, especially when its a friend. You could just stick with telling her that you are determined to reach your personal goal, and change the subject. Some things are not worth falling out over. Hope you manage to get through this, and good luck with your target! :)
  • jrutledge01
    jrutledge01 Posts: 213 Member
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    link her this thread and let things work themselves out
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    you should try to get her to join fitness pal!!! maybe after she sees some progress she can work with you instead of against you!!
    Good luck!!

    Please don't do this. If someone shares that they are trying to lose weight, or asks what "your secret" is, by all means, share this website with them, because it's awesome. But if you suggest this, or any other weight loss technique/program/website to someone who has not shared that they want to lose weight, it can be incredibly damaging and actually increase a person's resistance to making healthy changes.
  • HollyAus
    HollyAus Posts: 251 Member
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    5'10" and 155 is a pretty average BMI and should be achievable.

    EXACTLY!!

    Again thanks everyone. She is on MFP! But just uses the app and that's it, doesn't have any other "friends." She is doing the Body by Vi stuff. I think it could be good for extra nutrition but It's not right for me, but I don't tell her that. I think the leave it alone and change the subject will be best. We don't really have the same sense of humor anyways. She is very blunt and dry (I have seen others take it as offensive, especially here in OK{she is from Canada})
    I would love to give her advice, but she never ask for it so I don't... She is one of those that knows best no matter what and everyone should do what she wants. It's not really a bad thing, it's just how she is.
    I don't know if she's jealous. I can't tell anyways lol
  • srpm
    srpm Posts: 275 Member
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    My go-to response when people tell me I don't need to lose weight is that I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get back the energy I had before I gained the weight and eating healthy/working out etc is way better than ten cups of coffee in the morning.
  • Lina4Lina
    Lina4Lina Posts: 712 Member
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    Without knowing the context of the conversations, she may be attempting to be supportive. I've known many people who get frustrated because they can't get back to the size that they were a teen. I'd tell them to maybe try being where they are at for a while and see what happens. Although really most of these people were ones that gained a lot of weight (100 lbs or more).

    If you are talking to her about your diet/exercise, then now may be the time to stop. Switch subjects, talk about something else, etc
  • cowgirlzride
    cowgirlzride Posts: 82
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    ********************** Since it sounds like your friendship is inmportant, and you don't want to loose it- try this. You are close to yoru goal you said, so don't see her in person for the next bit of time until your at goal weight. Then, when you reach your goal, set up a lunch date. Meet her, and order healthy as I am sure you will. She may say nothing~ since jealousy seems to be the agreement here. If she does say something.... just look at your food selection and portion size. Tell her, this is how you did it. Good luck~ Sandi
  • happythermia
    happythermia Posts: 374
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    Know that this has nothing to do with you. Instead of cheering you on, she's being an a-hole because she is insecure.

    I totally know where you're coming from. Keep up that "I don't care what you think" attitude and rock it
  • fallintomyworld
    fallintomyworld Posts: 45 Member
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    It's hard when important ppl in your life are not on board with postivie changes you have decided to make. I don't care if you have tried 108 times before to lose weight, or if you only have 10 pounds to lose, with out positive supportive ppl around to talk to you about your goals, its hard. I know personally. i talk about calories and working out on a daily basis now. i could just not talk to my friends about my struggle, because its in the forefront of my everyday. I agree with trying to get her to try something. Make it as fun as possible and see if she changes her mind about getting healthy herself. but in the end you have to do what makes you comfortable, stay on path, log everything knowing you eat being true to you. don't worry about what she thinks about your goals. THEY ARE YOUR GOALS!!
  • lovinmyselfagain
    lovinmyselfagain Posts: 307 Member
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    Just came across this article about how to handle the "diet wreckers" in your life: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/weight-loss/tips/diet-tips/weight-loss-support-tips/
  • missworld95
    missworld95 Posts: 131 Member
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    I hate to say this, but I was the jealous friend. My best friend lost a bit of weight and looks AMAZING! I guess I was just sick of seeing so many stick thin girls and didn't want her to be like them. I acted like such a b*tch it's so embarrasing haha.

    Then I got severely depressed and had to change into a healthier lifestyle, and I understand why she did it! It was mainly to feel better for herself. Now I try to motivate all my friends.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Try saying something like "you're right- my body is different. I don't want to look like a fit 17 year old. I want to look like a fit mid 20's person. And, I think I'll be there when I hit my goal weight. And, I'd really appreciate your support. But if you can't give me that, let's just not talk about it. The bottom line is, that weight is healthy for me."

    You'll lose those last few pounds - I have no doubt! She's jealous and probably a little disappointed with herself, because you've been successful and she hasn't.
  • ShaJ1
    ShaJ1 Posts: 13
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    When she says "you know your body is different right?" or "You know you might not ever be that size again right" "maybe your just not supposed to be that size anymore" . You say "keep watching me". Some people are just jealous and wants to shut your self esteem down because they have low self esteem. Don't let it! keep working and striving to your goals. Furthermore, TRUE friends are suppose to be supportive and encouraging. Maybe you should evaluate your friednship with her.

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