Weirdos at the gym. Ladies?

When confronted by a weirdo I just force myself to stop looking in the mirror.

I swear some people can be so rude on here....****. Anyhoo, I'd do the same thing the other person said, I'd just look back until they looked away. But if it didn't stop I'd have to say something like "excuse me, but is there a reason you keep staring at me? Do I know you or something?" If you really get strange vibes from him though, like you are actually worried about it, just kind of keep your eye on him. Make sure you don't walk out to your car alone or anything. Be safe.

if its just them stairing I don`t worry about it and get on with my workout if they actualy get up and fallow you around thats another story then I ask one of the trainers to hang with me until creepy gets lost or have them walk you out to your car ( I haven`t had any that serious though normaly having one of the male trainers with you even for a few min will get rid of them )

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

Of course this is coming from a guy who has zero idea what it feels like to worry about your safety even a tiny bit. Thanks for the awesome advice, buddy.

Oh yeah cause I live in the safest neighborhood ever, women and gay guys commit rape as well, again get over yourself.

Per the U.S. Bureau of Justice, 91% of rape victims are women and 9% are men (including reported prison rapes), so you're not entirely off base, but you're also about 10.1x less likely to be raped as you leave the gym than the average woman. So maybe you don't have "zero idea" but you have a very small idea, relatively speaking, what it feels like to worry about your safety. You also wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant in the event of the theoretical rape, but that's a whole other ball o' wax.

To the OP's question: I would mention it to the front desk or security. It never hurts to say "keep an eye on this guy" because it's not like they're going to escort him out of the building. They'll just make sure he doesn't follow any ladies into the locker room. And as they say, "If you see something, say something".

I wouldn't personally report him. I'd either stare back giving a dirty look until he stops, or just go up and ask him what he wants and tell him that he's making you (and potentially others) uncomfortable.

I wouldn't report him to somebody else without confronting him first though. He might honestly (somehow) not realize he's doing it.. could just be trying to learn proper form or something.

Staring at your booty in spandex doesn't really make someone a creeper.

If he's following you and making nasty tongue at you, that's completely different, and you should report him. If he grabs your booty, you should make a disgusted and indignant sound and slap his face, then report him.

If you're genuinely concerned about your safety, have someone walk you to your car.

If he is creepy, I would make mgt aware of it. You should be able to workout in peace!!!!!!

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

I can't believe this misogyny. Leave it to a straight, white guy to tell a woman how to feel with no experience about her own oppression.

To the OP: YES. I feel this way--mostly in the weight room where I'm seen as some sort of anomaly. And Plates is right about one thing: you have paid as much as those ogling guys for your membership, and as such you are a paying customer who deserves to feel safe and comfortable while working out. If there are people giving you problems at the gym, talk to the people who work at the front desk. They get weirdos all the time and know how to handle it. If you feel icky, trust your instincts.

Plates, if you would like to discuss rape and sexual assault statistics further, please first google any reading list for an introduction to gender studies course.

Point is get over it, if he isn't stroking himself in public or following you home, you got nothing.

This is not correct. The man in this situation is creating a hostile environment in this gym by staring at the women--which can be considered unwanted sexual attention depending on the actual gaze. If this woman and the others in the gym are identifying his attention as undesired and "icky" and if they feel unsafe they are more than welcome to complain.

Please read up on Title IX for more information.

Also, (and I apologize for not having a cited source on hand--this evidence is more anecdotal than textbook), sexual harassment starts with unwelcome gazes and attention. As this attention is allowed to continue (as it is when nothing is done about it), it becomes hard to stop the behavior later if it is allowed to escalate because a precedent has been set. You would not believe how often "Well, she didn't stop me when I hit on her first" works in rape cases.

Everyone does have the right to feel comfortable espcially in a venue where they pay to be there. In addition, the whole "well maybe she shouldn't dress this way or that" is completely bogus and is insinuating that men don't have control over their gaze, which is not only a disservice to the character of the male species but also it inserts the whole "blame the victim" discourse when men can and do have control over how they act around women.

It's clear that the men on this thread have no idea about the facts and experiences that shape sexual harassment, rape culture, or the rights of women.

Lets not turn this into a feminist fest. The OP has been given enough options let's leave it up to her to decide what is best for her situation and let this thread die.

Gender roles have nothing to do with Fitness and Exercise. Take the argument to chit chat and fun if you wish.

I'm sorry, I'll try not to stare so much. :blushing:

Seems like the only way to know you're being stared at is if you are looking back. Maybe the constant return looks are giving a mixed signal. And if a guy happens to actually be staring, that hardly qualifies them as a potential rapist.

icky eye contact? did he have pink eye? was his eye running over with puss?

I take my after workout protein shake, drink part of it and then let it ooze out of my mouth like I'm rabid. Then I look them in the eye and say "Come at me bro!"
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OMG! I've never laughed so hard! Thank you!