Baby or Body
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You are only 31. There is still time for you to lose weight and work on degree. Things might look completely different another few years down the road. And obviously, you and your husband should be in agreement about it.
Very true...I think I am convinced. I might just try to lose 10-15 more lbs before I try.0 -
Seriously, whether or not you've reached your goal weight is the last thing you need to worry about here. If your hubs isn't on board it's a no go.0
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If you do choose to have a baby then I would recommend you get as close to your goal weight as possible because you want to have a healthy pregnancy and gain the recommended 25-35 lbs. It will be much easier to lose the baby weight if you continue using MFP during and after pregnancy. I'm 40, just had a baby and lost all my baby weight in 3 mos.
The weigh gain recommendations are for when you're at a healthy bmi and can be adjusted for your situation.0 -
If your husband isn't happy with the idea of another baby then that is a big problem. I wouldn't try to get pregnant if my husband was not on board with the idea. It is too big of a life changer to go through with and force on somebody who isn't 100% ok with it.0
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You have to do what feels right to you......I did babies first.....then worked on my body and I'm 99% of the way to where I want to be, and now I'm going for my career......I'm 33 years old and this is the way it worked best in my situation.0
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If your husband isn't happy with the idea of another baby then that is a big problem. I wouldn't try to get pregnant if my husband was not on board with the idea. It is too big of a life changer to go through with and force on somebody who isn't 100% ok with it.
Yeah but he wasn't to thrilled about the first one and now he loves her like crazy. He also helps me a lot so I don't think he would bail out or anything. Or is this about how he feels?0 -
To be honest Im not too much concern about him not being sure for baby #2. I hope that doesn't make me a bad wife. I'm more concern about career and weight. Gosh Im selffish.
I just think he will change his mind. he is a super, sweet ,supportive husband and father. We have a great marriage. 0 -
Seriously? Marriage does require compromises at times but a decision such as having a baby shouldn't have to be one of them.0
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If you wait for everything in your life to be right before having more children you will wait forever. The only consideration I would have is your husband, he's the only other opinion that counts. But I would HATE to be an only child, it's lonely, bigger families rock, so make more people to love and look after the people you already made is my philosophy!
The only child thing is my concern too. I have 3 sister and 1 brother and I love them like crazy so it really isn't fair to not let my daughter experience this too.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being/having an only child. Families come in all shapes and sizes and having a baby just to make sure you have more than one.....or because your friends want you to.....probably isn't a solid reason.0 -
Of course he is going to love the child if he is even a halfway decent man, and it sounds like he is. The bigger problem here is you disregarding and disrespecting his feelings and opinions. It happened before, but since he loves his child you take that as a "he'll get over it". But if you do this across the board, on other things too, I can't imagine that he is going to be happy for very long. So, this isn't just about worrying about your weight or your career.0
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Of course he is going to love the child if he is even a halfway decent man, and it sounds like he is. The bigger problem here is you disregarding and disrespecting his feelings and opinions. It happened before, but since he loves his child you take that as a "he'll get over it". But if you do this across the board, on other things too, I can't imagine that he is going to be happy for very long. So, this isn't just about worrying about your weight or your career.
No, I do not do this across the board otherwise my marriage would not be so awesome. Like I said earlier we have been married for 8 years and we are very happy,Yes this is about my career and weight not about my marriage. I'm sure people know raising a child is not an easy job especially when you have a career that is demanding. I believe the reason my husband is not sure about it is because he does not want to see me go through the stress of balancing my demanding job, health(weight) and everything else that comes along with it. It is not about him not wanting a child with me it is about him being concerned about me because he is a good husband like that.0 -
I think you should wait - you have no support and your no where near your goal weight.0
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Okay everyone thanks for the comments. I have made my decision to wait a few more months. I will talk to my husband again of course for the 100th time because WE BOTH go back and forth about it and we will see what happens. I'm not waiting another year though. So the weight will have to come of soon.0
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You think so?One of the greatest gifts you can give a child is a sibling.
Remember the one you have is already 7 so that one is already an only child as well as the one you will be having and please remember that she is not a built in babysitter.0 -
My teacher friend might just want me to get fat since Im the thinnest teacher there and I am not really thin.Or since they have more then one child then might think that I am missing out on having more. They have really good points though. I am just confused and I have been confused for a while now but I am running out of time since I only have 4 more years to just do it.
Ummm okay. You really think your friend wants you to get pregnant because you'll get fat?
Anyway, if your husband is not 100% on board you should not get pregnant. You say you have a great marriage. This is the kind of decision that can make or break a marriage.
I have been married for 15 years. We have a 12 year old and a 5 year old. They have an amazing relationship and are obsessed with eachother. I wouldn't worry about the age difference/sibling stuff now. Just figure out what is best for your family situation. Is there a reason you think you can't wait a year or two? I didn't want to get preggers after 35 (I was 31) either but you have time!0 -
Well I hear that a lot but I am ten year apart from my sister and we are very close and I was the babysitter. It did me some good because I became very responsible at a young age and I would not be the person I am today if I would not have had that experience .I don't think I would be a great teacher like i am now if I would not have had that experience in my life. I am also eight year older then my brother and 7 year younger then my sister. So we have lots of gaps in between and we are extremely close to one another.0
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My teacher friend might just want me to get fat since Im the thinnest teacher there and I am not really thin.Or since they have more then one child then might think that I am missing out on having more. They have really good points though. I am just confused and I have been confused for a while now but I am running out of time since I only have 4 more years to just do it.
Ummm okay. You really think your friend wants you to get pregnant because you'll get fat?
Anyway, if your husband is not 100% on board you should not get pregnant. You say you have a great marriage. This is the kind of decision that can make or break a marriage.
I have been married for 15 years. We have a 12 year old and a 5 year old. They have an amazing relationship and are obsessed with eachother. I wouldn't worry about the age difference/sibling stuff now. Just figure out what is best for your family situation. Is there a reason you think you can't wait a year or two? I didn't want to get preggers after 35 (I was 31) either but you have time!
I just feel like if I wait to long something might happen and I would not be able to have one. Then I would feel bad forever. I have had injuries in my past (neck injury) so it scared me and made me think I was done. Well now my neck is good. I will continue to talk to the hubby. i know he will say yes then no. He is just worried about me. I know that it will not break my marriage he is just worried about me.0 -
The hubby and I are trying. I can always lose the weight again but you can only have a baby when your younger. Well, some 40+ year olds are but you know what I mean.
Really! That's awesome! Yes your right.0 -
You are only 31. Lose the rest of your weight get your masters you still have plenty of time to have another baby. No rush.0
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Keep in mind that the last 30 pounds doesn't usually come off as fast or as easily, so the few months may not get you to goal weight.0
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I also wanted to add that my boys are 13 and 9 years older than their baby sister and they adore her AND I don't use them as babysitters! So don't worry about the age difference.0
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There's never a perfect time to have a baby. If you were at goal after having worked so hard to get there you'd have some of the same concerns you have now.
You can maintain a healthy pregnancy by continuing with good nutrition and exercise...it's possible to gain a minimal amount of weight and still have a healthy child. Check out the free prenatal nutrition and exercise plans available at Baby Fit - by Spark People. It was very helpful for me when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and I only gained 25# and it was easily lost and then some after my baby was born.0 -
You have 1 child and a husband who loves you. You are only 31 years old there is plenty of time to have more children if that is what you and your husband decide is the best corse of action. It sound to me like you have put a great deal of presure on your self. Relax and stop talking about your personel life with co- workers and extended family. These major decisions should be made privately between you and your husband. I understand being cautious about more children.If for no other reason finaces. and you are halfway done.Maybe he wants it to be you time before you are to old to enjoy each other. Remember you have lots of time. By the way I am a widow with 8 children. My husband passed in 05 I still had 2 children in school because after the first 6 I decided to have 2 more and we, My husband and I never got that alone time. Just think about it.0
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Having a baby is something you should be absolutely positive that you want to do. You are obviously not sure of yourself and your husband isn't "thrilled" about it. I would not try to have a baby, especially not just because your "teacher friends" want you to.
^^^THIS, Get a puppy or find someone to babysit for.0 -
The biggest factor in this scenario is you and your husband being on the same page. A baby as you know is forever.0
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You have 1 child and a husband who loves you. You are only 31 years old there is plenty of time to have more children if that is what you and your husband decide is the best corse of action. It sound to me like you have put a great deal of presure on your self. Relax and stop talking about your personel life with co- workers and extended family. These major decisions should be made privately between you and your husband. I understand being cautious about more children.If for no other reason finaces. and you are halfway done.Maybe he wants it to be you time before you are to old to enjoy each other. Remember you have lots of time. By the way I am a widow with 8 children. My husband passed in 05 I still had 2 children in school because after the first 6 I decided to have 2 more and we, My husband and I never got that alone time. Just think about it.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband.
You have a very good points, especially:
." It sound to me like you have put a great deal of presure on your self. Relax and stop talking about your personel life with co- workers and extended family. These major decisions should be made privately between you and your husband."
I never really thought about all the alone time we get and how it can change with a little one. Thanks for you comment.0
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