Would you ignore it..or get involved? RANT!
Feisty_Red
Posts: 982 Member
Oh my..I'm soo GRR right now! A friend from my gym(she probably has at least 150 to lose) just mentioned how she was worried to try out some of the gym classes..... She said because this one girl(who I know) might be there.. I said? Why?! She proceeds to tell me that she was on a treadmill one day and her and her skinny friends were making fun of her and calling her fat and laughing at her... it just breaks my heart :brokenheart: Ok.. I really dont want to lose my gym membership..but someone needs a B*tch slap down.. :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode:
My number one loathing attribute of humanity..People who think they are better than someone else because of looks..
I was there before..having a lot of weight to lose.....and I'm not saying I am currently some bikini model:noway: .but I know how she feels. Its very intimating to go to a gym and feel like people are starting because of your size...it reminds me of the teasing and taunting some kids got in grade school...like..really? We are adults here...Geeeeezz!
Please please PLEASE..just give people a smile...a hello..just getting to that gym without canceling because they felt
self-conscious a huge feat in itself...
That small gesture of kindness will go so far..you have no idea...
I had tears in my eyes she told me too..and I hugged her tight..the sweet thing! :sad: :sad:
Now..I can TOTALLY take this girl out... I just gotta figure out how I can do it..legally...
My number one loathing attribute of humanity..People who think they are better than someone else because of looks..
I was there before..having a lot of weight to lose.....and I'm not saying I am currently some bikini model:noway: .but I know how she feels. Its very intimating to go to a gym and feel like people are starting because of your size...it reminds me of the teasing and taunting some kids got in grade school...like..really? We are adults here...Geeeeezz!
Please please PLEASE..just give people a smile...a hello..just getting to that gym without canceling because they felt
self-conscious a huge feat in itself...
That small gesture of kindness will go so far..you have no idea...I had tears in my eyes she told me too..and I hugged her tight..the sweet thing! :sad: :sad:
Now..I can TOTALLY take this girl out... I just gotta figure out how I can do it..legally...
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Replies
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WOW!! That totally breaks my heart! SO manypeople give up because of that! That is why I workout at home. I dont have to worry about people looking at me ! lol!0
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lol calm down killer o.o dont let this female get the best of you
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but @ the end of the day i agree with you... let the haters be your fuel, you are better then to sink to her lvl tho i agree she needs a wake up call.^^ xx
i would ignore it for now. unless it keeps going on. then a nice sweet lil talk with her .. if she keeps it up.. just dont kill her o.o you dont want to get kicked out the gym
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First, I would tell her that living well is the best revenge. Then, if you can, go to the class with her so she doesn't feel so alone in it.0
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Oh wow! That would tick me off, the girl is there at the gym she is obviously aware of her state and wants to fix it. I don't understand people who make fun of people while trying to make changes. Been there, honestly I don't know what I'd do. When I am ticked off I usually run my mouth and cause more problems.
Honestly the best thing for your friend to do, is to ignore her and let her be her motivator, she is hating on her and obviously has insecurities of her own which is why she is hating on your friend. Tell her to prove them wrong and keep doing what she is doing because there are people out there who are cheering her own and she probably don't even know it.0 -
Oh that poor girl Tell the gym management and hopefully they will stop this abuse. This is the main reason I hate the gym. Exactly. 0
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I really hope that this girl is in the minority at your gym. What a horrible feeling
The girl really can't day much in that class. I wouldn't worry too much if I were her. Don't give her the power.
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When people are mean to me...or just in general....I just think to myself..."Karma's a b*tch...and one of these days she'll come back around." (hopefully for these ladies.)0
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The best thing you and your friend could do is show up in the damn class and KICK *kitten*. People make me sick, and one thing your friend could do is, They might be skinny but SO UGLY on the inside to do that..0
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I would certainly mention the incident to the management at the gym. That's a terrible thing to happen to someone at a place that is supposed to be for health and self improvement. I would think that they would certainly be concerned about behavior like that as I would imagine it's terrible for business.0
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I used to own a small gym and I never tolerated that behavior. She really needs to go speak to the management of the gym. There are rules of etiquette in all gyms and everyone needs to be aware of them and follow them. Management doesn't want to lose customers!!!0
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why didnt I think of reporting it! Maybe she can get kicked outta the gym!!!..and I can keep my clean arrest record 0
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I would certainly mention the incident to the management at the gym. That's a terrible thing to happen to someone at a place that is supposed to be for health and self improvement. I would think that they would certainly be concerned about behavior like that as I would imagine it's terrible for business.
Great minds think alike.. hehe!!0 -
You heard one side. Lots of times people hear what they do or do not want to hear and take things out of context.
The other ladies could indeed have been making fun of her....orrrrrr they could have been talking about something (or someone) different and this friend of your projected. So, before you get the tar and feathers out for these folks it would be nice to calm a bit.
If your friend wants to lose the weight she will go to the gym, or any gym, or work out at home, or whatever..... If this stops her I would say she was looking for a reason.
And I agree, it would be best if most folks simply smilled and gave a friendly wave. But thats not how humans work. As to reporting it to the management, if I had a manager of a gym approach me and accuse me of making fun of someone based on a secondhand story (which this is) it would not be pretty.
THe best think would be to let your adult friend be an adult and allow her to deal with things herself.0 -
I feel bad for your friend. But do you know what? Your friend can lose weigh and feel more attractive as a result because her beauty comes from within. That other chick cannot grow a personality or that sort of beauty. She'll probably always be, skinny and nasty.0
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why didnt I think of reporting it! Maybe she can get kicked outta the gym!!!..and I can keep my clean arrest record
You have to keep telling yourself that prison orange is not your color!!!0 -
I'm very confrontational when it comes to those kinds of situations. I have had to change my attitude. Tell your friend to go to the gym for no one but herself. Ef those other girls. When they realize that your friend is in it for the long hall, and is there more often than them, those skinny girls won't have anything to say!0
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Thats one of the reasons I hated going to the gym, I actually stopped going to the one I paid for because I was so insecure in my body image that I couldn't bear people laughing at me and commenting on my weight.
Thankfully now we have one at our apartment complex which is very nice, and theres usually only 2-5 people in there at any point. Theres only one lady who gives me funny looks, everyone else looks at me like they are proud of me, which is a nice feeling, and for the one who doesn't....BAH to her!
Do you have a curves gym or anything like that around you? If the management won't do anything about it (i second CMS's comment to talk to them about it) I would check out going to someplace like that, where its bigger women or women who use to be big and have some empathy. It really irks me that people do this...we are there to get skinnier and healthier, thats what the gym is for!0 -
Every time I see someone who is obviously just starting their wieght loss journey and I think to myself every time I see them "Good for YOU". I know how hard it is to take the first step to the journey so for some gym bunny to laugh and giggle with her friends ake me as furious as you likely were. I would report her to the gym staff and be supportive of your friend, it will get her a long way!0
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I would certainly mention the incident to the management at the gym. That's a terrible thing to happen to someone at a place that is supposed to be for health and self improvement. I would think that they would certainly be concerned about behavior like that as I would imagine it's terrible for business.
I was just going to say this - while kicking her *kitten* would be awesomely fun, this would probably be a lot more productive.0 -
Great advice guys..I just gotta calm my redhead temper down here...:grumble: :grumble: :grumble:0
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Sorry... disagree... there are things that you just don't do in a gym. You don't gawk, you don't drop the weights, you don't belittle other peoples attempts. No one said the management should accuse the patron of anything. Simply bringing the code of conduct to the attention. And I guess if the person in question got upset, THEY can find another gym!
Grrrr the formatting isn't working.. LOL0 -
I have always told my kids if they see someone in distress- being bullied - or in some other ganged up on situation - go find help if they cant themselves be of some kind of help.
In this case- Id tell management - or - even more fun- rally around your friend. Get a bunch of fun gals- hit that class and have a ball with it and your friend. Encourage and smile at each other and make like the skank bit - errr I mean skinny bitc -err - them chicks! are not even in the room.0 -
It doesn't matter if the women were actually talking about her friend, or someone else entirely. That kind of behavior in an environment that is supposed to be about improving one's health and well being is uncalled for and downright unacceptable.You heard one side. Lots of times people hear what they do or do not want to hear and take things out of context.
The other ladies could indeed have been making fun of her....orrrrrr they could have been talking about something (or someone) different and this friend of your projected. So, before you get the tar and feathers out for these folks it would be nice to calm a bit.
If your friend wants to lose the weight she will go to the gym, or any gym, or work out at home, or whatever..... If this stops her I would say she was looking for a reason.
And I agree, it would be best if most folks simply smilled and gave a friendly wave. But thats not how humans work. As to reporting it to the management, if I had a manager of a gym approach me and accuse me of making fun of someone based on a secondhand story (which this is) it would not be pretty.
THe best think would be to let your adult friend be an adult and allow her to deal with things herself.
These catty women need a reality check. That being said, I agree with the other posters. Report the situation to management. If it continues, and management does nothing about it, take your money elsewhere. You and your friend to not need to support an establishment that condones such childish, rude behavior.0 -
This is why its so hard sometimes for me and my friend to go to the gym when there is a lot of people there! We have honestly walked in about 6 at night seen how many people were there and then walked rite out but you should never let anyone make you feel bad about bettering your self! i agree with most people here you should go to management0
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OP, I totally get where you're coming from. If it was my friend, I would totally want to open up a can of whoop *kitten*. However, stooping to the level of those b****es will solve nothing. The best thing you can do is support your friend, and encourage her to keep trying to better herself.
Hell, tell her to use their rude, catty remarks as motivation. That's what I did, and it worked.0 -
I wont hurt her..but she doesnt have to know I wont...really....:devil:0
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It doesn't matter if the women were actually talking about her friend, or someone else entirely. That kind of behavior in an environment that is supposed to be about improving one's health and well being is uncalled for and downright unacceptable.You heard one side. Lots of times people hear what they do or do not want to hear and take things out of context.
The other ladies could indeed have been making fun of her....orrrrrr they could have been talking about something (or someone) different and this friend of your projected. So, before you get the tar and feathers out for these folks it would be nice to calm a bit.
If your friend wants to lose the weight she will go to the gym, or any gym, or work out at home, or whatever..... If this stops her I would say she was looking for a reason.
And I agree, it would be best if most folks simply smilled and gave a friendly wave. But thats not how humans work. As to reporting it to the management, if I had a manager of a gym approach me and accuse me of making fun of someone based on a secondhand story (which this is) it would not be pretty.
THe best think would be to let your adult friend be an adult and allow her to deal with things herself.
These catty women need a reality check. That being said, I agree with the other posters. Report the situation to management. If it continues, and management does nothing about it, take your money elsewhere. You and your friend to not need to support an establishment that condones such childish, rude behavior.
again..... the poster is working off a secondhand story. If it continues, by all means, report it. But it needs to be the friend. Not a friend of a friend. If I had a "secondhand" story by an individual cause me trouble at a gym with the managment, I would look at legal recourse if if cost me any money. Furthermore, if the gym management will take a secondhand story and run with it, they suck at management.
not saying that it does not occur.... I am saying that we are only getting one heavily biased side of the story.0 -
Me..personally..I would say something to them. However, I have learned that speaking calmly..yet in a way that scares the *kitten* out of them...works way better than yelling, swearing, screaming, etc.
I hope your friend can move past this and get the courage to take a class or two....she should never let someone with such an ugly soul cause her pain. Remember, you can always lose weight, but you can't fix an ugly heart.0 -
It doesn't matter if the women were actually talking about her friend, or someone else entirely. That kind of behavior in an environment that is supposed to be about improving one's health and well being is uncalled for and downright unacceptable.You heard one side. Lots of times people hear what they do or do not want to hear and take things out of context.
The other ladies could indeed have been making fun of her....orrrrrr they could have been talking about something (or someone) different and this friend of your projected. So, before you get the tar and feathers out for these folks it would be nice to calm a bit.
If your friend wants to lose the weight she will go to the gym, or any gym, or work out at home, or whatever..... If this stops her I would say she was looking for a reason.
And I agree, it would be best if most folks simply smilled and gave a friendly wave. But thats not how humans work. As to reporting it to the management, if I had a manager of a gym approach me and accuse me of making fun of someone based on a secondhand story (which this is) it would not be pretty.
THe best think would be to let your adult friend be an adult and allow her to deal with things herself.
These catty women need a reality check. That being said, I agree with the other posters. Report the situation to management. If it continues, and management does nothing about it, take your money elsewhere. You and your friend to not need to support an establishment that condones such childish, rude behavior.
again..... the poster is working off a secondhand story. If it continues, by all means, report it. But it needs to be the friend. Not a friend of a friend. If I had a "secondhand" story by an individual cause me trouble at a gym with the managment, I would look at legal recourse if if cost me any money. Furthermore, if the gym management will take a secondhand story and run with it, they suck at management.
not saying that it does not occur.... I am saying that we are only getting one heavily biased side of the story.
Well..she said..and I quote "Look at the fat cow on the treadmill" while they pointed at her..and laughed?
I dont see my friend as a fabricator either..for attention..I sure the HELL would not want to admit that someone said that about me!0 -
Your friend needs to gain some perspective. I am that girl. I want to lose 175 lbs. I'm at 103 lost right now. I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and I have my Ipod and do my thing. I smile at people who smile at me. One time, about 3 weeks ago someone made a comment that I overheard (in between songs on my Ipod) about my fatass. I turned around and looked at him and said, "Oh I'm sorry, is my fat *kitten* in the way? You know the ironic thing is I'm here doing something about my fat *kitten* and you'll probably always be an *kitten*." The funny thing is 3 weeks ago I had lost 98 lbs. So I wasn't nearly as fat as I once was.
There will always be those people that are just *kitten*. Plain and simple. She has to take pride in who she is and just getting to the gym is half the battle.
A month ago I joined the bellydancing class at the gym and it is so much fun. My belly dances all on its own right now, but I have a blast. I go by myself and I am by far the biggest one in the class and I laugh at myself the whole time. I sweat and I'm sore the next day. I don't do it for anyone else. I do it for me.
Tell your friend that she's not there for anyone else other than herself.
FORGOT TO ADD:
For everyone of those people, there is a few more that notice what she's doing and applaud it. They may not vocalize it, but I've had random people, men and women come up to me in the gym and tell me I'm doing a good job. The first couple of times I thought it sounded patronizing, but then I took the comments for what they were and in the spirit in which they were given. An "Atta Girl" for a job well done.0
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