Outrageous things men say

13

Replies

  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    We were discussing this very topic at a recent BBQ gathering. My husband has horrific foot-in-mouth syndrome, so I decided to share this little gem with the group (and now all of you):

    I was going through depression, and I was venting to my husband about some of the things that had led to said depression. No crying, no hysterics, just a lot of me being inconsolable. After I was finished, my husband replied, completely serious, "well babe, I think the best thing for you to do right now is to build a bridge, and get over it."

    Bawling ensued. ALL over the place. I have no idea why he thought that was good advice, but there ya go. I was pretty pissed at the time, but now I think it's hilarious.


    hahaha, i tend to do the whole foot in mouth thing too but that is beyond anything i have ever accidently said and then thought about after, as a guy we tend to try to say things as soon as we think them before considering how they sound out loud, trying to make you feel better being the first thing on our mind before thinking about how it's actually going to sound to you when it comes out, that is the problem. also on the original topic of this post men (and women) who cheat should be shot, with that problem taken care of people might trust and respect each other a bit more. really how hard is it to at least be a little bit of a d*ck and break up with someone if you want someone else, better than cheating, that's my thoughts anyway.

    agreed!
  • BSchoberg
    BSchoberg Posts: 712 Member
    Not cheating related, but foot-in-mouth: a real WTF moment with my then-boyfriend/now-husband...

    "In that dress, your *kitten* looks like two cats fighting in a bag!"

    Hand to God, he still, to this day, says he doesn't understand how I didn't realize that was a compliment!

    His brother has the same problem -- my sister-in-law & I get together and howl over the things that come out of their mouths!
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    So I went on a few dates with a guy, we vibed well and things seemed promising. After a few dates, I found out he slept with a good friend of mine which in my eyes is a deal breaker so I ended things. A month goes by and today I received a bunch of angry text messages from him apparently pissed off that I kissed another guy. I called him and told him he had no right to be upset because we were no longer seeing each other and he lost all rights to get upset about anything when he slept with my friend..his response:

    "Yeah, but I used a condom so it doesn't count, did you use a condom on your tongue?"

    Definitely one for the books! :noway:
    A month after breaking up with someone, you get angry text messages and instead of just ignoring them, you pick up the phone and call him to talk to him again?

    That's outrageous!

    Yes, of course, blame her! How DARE she answer her phone!

    Oh but it's alwaysssss our fault *eyeroll*
  • BSchoberg
    BSchoberg Posts: 712 Member
    "well babe, I think the best thing for you to do right now is to build a bridge, and get over it."

    ^^^ SO stealing this!!! :laugh:
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    "I'm a grower, not a shower"
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    When I was in high school, a guy that was into me (but had a girlfriend), started having sex with said girlfriend and thought he should tell me all about how great it was. Then, at the end, he said "But I wish it had been with you," because apparently he really loved me and not her. UGH. Creep.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    When I was in high school, a guy that was into me (but had a girlfriend), started having sex with said girlfriend and thought he should tell me all about how great it was. Then, at the end, he said "But I wish it had been with you," because apparently he really loved me and not her. UGH. Creep.

    ick.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    This was only outrageous to me.I had been head over heels for this guy from about 8th grade until my junior year of high school. He knew it. We always flirted and hung out and whatever, but he would get a girlfriend, I would get a boyfriend, you know. But anyways, we have another reunion, have lunch together and go to his house to "watch a movie". So the making out ensues, and I'm a little bit of a go getter so I try to go for the main prize. He stops me and acts all weird and then he says, " I think we should go to church together sometime".








    ................................................................................


    and No, I do not think it was just me. I knew he had been going to church and all that happy hoo ha. It was just impeccable timing to tell me about your newfound soul searching life changing bible studies.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    This was only outrageous to me.I had been head over heels for this guy from about 8th grade until high school. He knew it. We always flirted and hung out and whatever, but he would get a girlfriend, I would get a boyfriend, you know. But anyways, we have another reunion, have lunch together and go to his house to "watch a movie". So the making out ensues, and I'm a little bit of a go getter so I try to go for the main prize. He stops me and acts all weird and then he says, " I think we should go to church together sometime".







    ................................................................................


    ahahahahhaha!!! day=made.
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
    Frankly, I'm thinking this man is freaking hysterical and perhaps you should date him...

    perfect response....thread should have ended here
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    Your ex-friend and I need to hang out.

    edit: saw that he slept with her DURING your fling. that is a bit wrong.
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
    "I'm a grower, not a shower"

    HEY!!! me too!!!
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
    I had an ex tell me "but I couldn't get wet because I felt so guilty.." like it was gonna make everything alright. Girls say dumb things too lol


    Whoa Nelly...you had an ex fool around on you...and you look like that!! Dumb lady :noway:
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    "I'm a grower, not a shower"




    This would be one of the first things my boyfriend announced to the table of my friends when we first met. And we've been together 2 years now. :love: swoon! i know.
  • tourettte
    tourettte Posts: 142 Member
    after two years he says - "but we're not exclusive, we're more like FWB", (talked about moving in together,
    children, met each others parents., friends...)
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 968 Member
    Hilarious

    He sounds like a legend lol
  • tourettte
    tourettte Posts: 142 Member
    the one before last.
    (after i met his girlfriend he lived with by accident and had a couple of very long and insightful drinks with her)
    "Those are my sisters things" (his sister lives on a different continent)

    "Why don't you trust me, you are the only one" (after i told him i MET the woman he's living with and had coffee with her in their apartment while he was away on a trip)
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    A month after breaking up with someone, you get angry text messages and instead of just ignoring them, you pick up the phone and call him to talk to him again?

    That's outrageous!

    Yes, of course, blame her! How DARE she answer her phone!

    Oh but it's alwaysssss our fault *eyeroll*
    I don't blame her for someone else's jerky behavior. That would be silly.

    I do blame her for engaging with someone after she elected to end the relationship, and for picking up the phone to make her point.

    As asinine as this guy's excuse was, it was the result of her CALLING HIM. He didn't provide his stupid excuse until they were in a phone conversation.

    It's not always your fault. Only when you roll your eyes.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    (thinking)
    (thinking)
    (thinking)
    You know I'm such a Biotch I really don't have to hear those remarks. Men are terrified of me.
    I make sure I scare them right out the gate because..
    .........I don't date wussies...

    things like "What does your husband think about you doing that?" - a guy asked when I was talking with a cashier about going to Florida for Christmas.. I told him "He doesn't think much from his shallow shallow grave in the back yard" ---- the cashier well she had a good laugh.

    I don't get many dates anyone who asks I make sure they know I don't lie.. I don't act.. & I don't put up with a whiny princess with a penis who won't wear a condom without acting like a baby.

    Your guy at least wore the condom. He prolly needs a scary girl to straighten him out so he knows how good he has it... but I'm not taking playmates at this time...

    I like you.
    Because this is how I date too.
    Right from the gate I tell them what I don't put up with crap and I won't date a little boy.

    Some men love the aggressiveness, others walk - but that's fine with me, because I didn't want them.
  • tourettte
    tourettte Posts: 142 Member
    Oh and the last drop - "would you two consider a threesome"
    dude...forget i exist...::mad:
    (how do i find these a**holes???)
  • everything about this made me lol
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    One of my girls told me about this one....
    Right after they had finished having sex...SO you dont want to be exclusive or anything right cause I'm getting that whole relationship vibe from you ...

    One of my own....Your hot and all but I dont want your body I want to make love to your mind I wanna **** your mind..... Dude I just met you like 10 mins ago back away from my brain please
  • BrazenHarpy
    BrazenHarpy Posts: 81 Member
    "well babe, I think the best thing for you to do right now is to build a bridge, and get over it."

    ^^^ SO stealing this!!! :laugh:

    It's actually become a standard reply to any inquiry in our house. "Babe, can you take out the trash?" "I dunno, can you build a bridge and get over it?" Hilarity ensues :).
  • Im absolutely amazed at nearly every single one of these comments about every single one of these a**holes you have all had slash run into. I would be out of my mind to think about using any of these lines and I don't think any of my mates would either. I know Im in a different country to most of you but the guys and their morals seem worlds apart.

    Piece of advice: Just remember that 90% of the time, whatever it is he did that he's admiting to, chances are he did more than that. He's just not admitting it because well, you obviously don't know about it, so he's not going to mention it unless you do.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    Im absolutely amazed at nearly every single one of these comments about every single one of these a**holes you have all had slash run into. I would be out of my mind to think about using any of these lines and I don't think any of my mates would either. I know Im in a different country to most of you but the guys and their morals seem worlds apart.

    Piece of advice: Just remember that 90% of the time, whatever it is he did that he's admiting to, chances are he did more than that. He's just not admitting it because well, you obviously don't know about it, so he's not going to mention it unless you do.

    VERY TRUE- You have no idea how much I found out about him (all which he denied) ... but when he finally did admit his wrongs- he said ' you should have been a private investigator' and 'i'm admitting i'm wrong, I hope we can work through this and make it work for our sons sake' PSHHHH get real- FOR OUR SONS SAKE - i'm done with you.
  • After going on a date to a small mexican diner....I agree to go back to my date's apartment to watch a movie. His hand just happened to keep finding itself getting close to places that it definitely shouldn't on a FIRST date. After telling him no three times he looked me straight in the eye and said...."But I bought you dinner?" Hahahahaha. I burst into laughter and left.
  • (thinking)
    (thinking)
    (thinking)
    You know I'm such a Biotch I really don't have to hear those remarks. Men are terrified of me.
    I make sure I scare them right out the gate because..
    .........I don't date wussies...

    things like "What does your husband think about you doing that?" - a guy asked when I was talking with a cashier about going to Florida for Christmas.. I told him "He doesn't think much from his shallow shallow grave in the back yard" ---- the cashier well she had a good laugh.

    I don't get many dates anyone who asks I make sure they know I don't lie.. I don't act.. & I don't put up with a whiny princess with a penis who won't wear a condom without acting like a baby.

    Your guy at least wore the condom. He prolly needs a scary girl to straighten him out so he knows how good he has it... but I'm not taking playmates at this time...

    I like you.
    Because this is how I date too.
    Right from the gate I tell them what I don't put up with crap and I won't date a little boy.

    Some men love the aggressiveness, others walk - but that's fine with me, because I didn't want them.

    I find most people do not really want the truth. They prefer actors and lines and lies. They have made a comfort zone of color by number experiences.
    In my experience most people also enjoy a challenge in their sex interest.
    I'm guilty - if a guy gets all hot & heavy too fast I just back off and give him the speech.

    "Listen I like you a lot but I don't want to be with some slut guy who is just giving it up to everyone. I want a guy who is going to make it fun to chase him down and jump on him and get what I want and don't call them in the morning. You're skipping over the best part!!"

    the usual response is WTF!!!!???
    *life is too short to not be really funny*
  • The day my ex and I broke up. "Well, I know you don't want to date anymore...but can we still be friends with benefits?"
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    After going on a date to a small mexican diner....I agree to go back to my date's apartment to watch a movie. His hand just happened to keep finding itself getting close to places that it definitely shouldn't on a FIRST date. After telling him no three times he looked me straight in the eye and said...."But I bought you dinner?" Hahahahaha. I burst into laughter and left.

    Should have told him that if he's looking for sex he can by he needs to go check out some corners. What a worthless slimeball!
  • star7092
    star7092 Posts: 22
    my ex husband was cuddling with me in bed about a month before our first wedding anniversary and stated mater of factly that he had been cheating on me for the past 4 years with other men...he couldn't understand why I was so upset...we are divorced now and I have a finace' that says some pretty crazy stuff but not nearly has crazy as that SOB. "Honey i have a secret to tell you...I've been cheating on your since we first started dating and its been with other men..."