Need help convincing wife to join in weight loss/fitness

Don't let your wife hate on your new lifestyle. My hubby does the same but he tries to sabotage me in my efforts. I basically told him if he wanted to take me out, it won't be for not fattening foods but something physically active. He has been off the bandwagon and wants me to be fat and happy with him. Not gonna happen. I finally got totally honest with him and told him what would be more attractive to me and that's a healthy fit hubby. I want to be able to grow old with my spouse and be healthy and active in older age. So tell her to move it now so it won't be so hard later.

Yeah, you're asking us how best to charge into a room where, just outside the door, a bunch of terrified angels are refusing to enter.

Good luck.

Be tricky, LOL Spend some quality time together....
How about a date night, take her dancing, or a long romantic walk on the beach, or at a park & a picnic that YOU pack with healthy food. Just her moving, It will make her feel better about herself & maybe she'll want to get into it more.

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how I can get my wife to join me on my weight loss and fitness lifestyle adjustment.

Don't.

^ That.

Yeah, my mom and husband do the same thing. Try asking her out to do something with you- like maybe for a walk at the park or go dancing. Do something you both can enjoy! Try making meals for both of you that are healthy or like the person above me said tell her you can't live without her!

WRT physical activities together - be sure to start off very low-key. I tried this with my husband, doing hikes that I thought for sure he'd be able to do (he's significantly less overweight than I am, but I spend more time moving outdoors at higher altitudes than he does) and it was very discouraging for him because he was so out of shape. If anything, I think it might have made things worse for him, because he felt like even doing what I had described as an easy hike was something that he was never going to be able to achieve.

Admitting she needs to lose weight is going to be tough for your wife, and even tougher given a variety of factors.

*Men lose weight so much more easily than women, so whether you try to make it seem so or not, there's always going to be a bit of competition there.

*Admitting that she is overweight to you is tantamount to saying "I'm fat and there's no reason you should desire me." Pushing her to lose weight carries the implicit message of "you're too fat for me to be attracted to."

*It's nearly impossible to talk to someone about health without coming off as preachy, and it doesn't have really anything to do with what *you* are saying, it's that society sends messages about how bad of a person you are (you have no discipline, you're not attractive, you're not desirable) if you're overweight.

*And then there's the "what if I can't do it?" problem - so many of us that are overweight have tried to lose weight a number of different ways, a number of different times, and have failed. Sometimes it seems like we can't handle another failure, especially when we feel sloppy and fat.

The times I stay most on track WRT to losing weight are when I feel pretty - after I've gotten a mani/pedi, after I've gotten a really nice, unforced compliment from my husband, after good sexytimes, or just days when I've been self-motivated enough to put on my face and wear nice clothes. I think this is because of emotional eating and a tendency to continue to move in the same direction. If your wife already feels at odds with you because you've been pushing her to lose weight, the best thing you can do is repair that by completely dropping it and start emphasizing the ways and reasons you love her. When she feels like she's worth the investment in getting healthy, she'll come around.

First: Don't try to convince her. You have to do this for yourself only. I have several in my house including my husband that needs to get healthier as well. The more you bring it up the farther away she will go.

Her animosity is most likely rooted in her own desire to get healthy but not making progress and the more she sees you achieving your goals the more negative it reflects on her (this is subjective!)

You could sit down with her and discuss her thoughts and feelings and reiterate that you would love to have her join you yet you understand if she is not ready. Also explain to her that you would appreciate her support in your journey though.

Don't. Some people are immediately hurt the minute that weight loss even comes up in conversation. While it's reasonable for you to expect her to be supportive and happy for you, try to be very sensitive about how that information affects her. In some ways, you losing weight is kind of like she's gaining weight. (My boyfriend is thinner than I am, and my weight seems worse when I'm comparing myself to him.) If he were telling me I need to lose more weight and be healthier, I would probably feel attacked, like I wasn't good enough for him.

You might have better luck by making more of an effort to make her feel beautiful and sexy, just the way she is. Wanting to change your lifestyle and body ONLY for other people can lead to dangerous weight loss methods and low self esteem. I needed to get through college, for example, before really taking this stuff seriously. Just give her time to want this for herself, and let her know that you value her regardless.