When is it okay to leave your newborn?

Oh... I thought this was a discussion about when is it okay to leave your newborn in the car. Because that's just wrong. Unless you crack the windows and are really wasted.

that's what I thought too. Psh! Vacation? Rookies....

I would not have been ready at that point physically, mentally, or emotionally, but I had a c-section for both kids so I was recovering from major surgery too. The first time my kids spent any time with someone other than me or my husband was after they were several months old, but we had the resources to do that. I didn't want a vacation away from them. I am not going to judge another mother for her choice though. The baby wasn't exactly abandoned or neglected, she was well cared for. Why is this in the news anyway?

My OPINION::

When a mother goes back to work, it is usually for a workday or a shift, and she still sees and interacts with her newborn within a 24 hour period. And it is because she *has* to go to work and leave her baby, or she recognizes she is a better part-time mother when she is working outside the home. It is not usually a separation by choice, for relaxation. Most new moms or moms of newborns need a break in the first few weeks, but for me an hour or two was sufficient. A nap on my own, a dinner date with my spouse, a movie, a walk alone, were all enough to get me back on track for parenting. I didn't need a 6 day vacation, and I didn't want to be away from my babies for that long. For the record, my oldest is 6 and my youngest is 3 and I've only spend one night away from them which was for my husband's work. Not by my choice.


Someone somewhere (on the TV clip linked in the first post?) mentioned that no one would care if Dad went away for work. Usually if that happens, the mother is still there caring for the child, not both parents gone together. Yes, her fiance's mother and a nanny watched the baby, but it still made me sad that both parents were willing to leave the baby alone for a week at such a young age. Fostering independence in a 10 week old seems ridiculous to me. This is when you should be fostering a connection, an attachment, trust.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my newborn for any more than a few hours unless I couldn't absolutely help it (i.e. hospital stay). But that is how I roll..........

just another way for the media to slag off women. no ones business, not newsworthy at all & just another subliminal method of trying to enforce right wing "family values" (haha) on the general public.

This vilifying of women really does piss me off.

Love brings out my crazy. But that doesn't mean that my way is the only way to parent. Why don't people get that concept?

(emphasis added)
Because a lot of people don't have the capacity (or willingness) to think outside of their circle of judgment, experience and values.

I can't give a sane response to this. I still get stabby if my kids are gone for even a few hours. They are 5 & 4. Both did stints in NICU, and I threatened to sleep in the lobby if they didn't find a bed for me. I stayed in a makeshift closet with a cot for a few days and used the public restroom in the waiting area.

Love brings out my crazy. But that doesn't mean that my way is the only way to parent. Why don't people get that concept?

I think if my infant were in NICU, I would do the same thing. There's a difference between a baby who needs serious medical attention and a baby who's healthy and fine. If the baby in the story were very sick, I probably would have trouble understanding how either parent could leave for six days on vacation. Extenuating circumstances would change my response. But with everything fine, I would do it myself so I couldn't be upset with this woman! lol

I can't give a sane response to this. I still get stabby if my kids are gone for even a few hours. They are 5 & 4. Both did stints in NICU, and I threatened to sleep in the lobby if they didn't find a bed for me. I stayed in a makeshift closet with a cot for a few days and used the public restroom in the waiting area.

Love brings out my crazy. But that doesn't mean that my way is the only way to parent. Why don't people get that concept?

I think if my infant were in NICU, I would do the same thing. There's a difference between a baby who needs serious medical attention and a baby who's healthy and fine. If the baby in the story were very sick, I probably would have trouble understanding how either parent could leave for six days on vacation. Extenuating circumstances would change my response. But with everything fine, I would do it myself so I couldn't be upset with this woman! lol

I'm not upset with her either. My point was that even if I wouldn't do it myself, there is no reason for me to be judging her. She's done nothing wrong, just something different. My guys were fine long before 10 months of age, but the experience colored my decisions. Different doesn't mean wrong, and people have difficulty with that concept sometimes.

Definitely thought you meant leave them completely alone...I was like uh, NEVER? hahaha.

As for the topic at hand I think that depends on the mother really. Then again, I don't have kids.

Wait until they become teenagers...you'll be running for the hills to get away from them M-F#@er's!!!

I'm just saying!

I can't give a sane response to this. I still get stabby if my kids are gone for even a few hours. They are 5 & 4. Both did stints in NICU, and I threatened to sleep in the lobby if they didn't find a bed for me. I stayed in a makeshift closet with a cot for a few days and used the public restroom in the waiting area.

Love brings out my crazy. But that doesn't mean that my way is the only way to parent. Why don't people get that concept?

I think if my infant were in NICU, I would do the same thing. There's a difference between a baby who needs serious medical attention and a baby who's healthy and fine. If the baby in the story were very sick, I probably would have trouble understanding how either parent could leave for six days on vacation. Extenuating circumstances would change my response. But with everything fine, I would do it myself so I couldn't be upset with this woman! lol

I'm not upset with her either. My point was that even if I wouldn't do it myself, there is no reason for me to be judging her. She's done nothing wrong, just something different. My guys were fine long before 10 months of age, but the experience colored my decisions. Different doesn't mean wrong, and people have difficulty with that concept sometimes.

I didn't think you were. I just picked up on the NICU thing, and I can see how different that it. Even most of us who would leave for vacation with kids that young probably wouldn't under those circumstances.

Oh, okay...good! I thought that's where you were coming from, but you never can tell out here in Forum Land. Yay for a rational discussion! :laugh: