I'd rather stay home than let them see how fat I am

story of my life, I keep thinking "I'll just lose the weight and then I can socialise again". At the same time it's kinda motivation to look good just so I can stop worrying about how I look and who will see me. I even quit the gym because of it (which is stupid, I know) but now we have exercise equipment at home so I'm hiding out until I feel confident enough to make plans.

Take today's outing as your "before" photo - when you get to your goal make sure you go see those people again - it will be an amazing confidence boost!

What an awesome idea!!!!!! Just go and be friendly and you never know, you might have fun! Good for you for doing this for your husband--it will also be good for you I think.

Hi,

I've read your post but not the other replies. So this might already have been said. But time to read it again, if so!

You've got to own it. Its your body, just the frame in which your brain, personality and soul (if you believe all that) resides. Most people will get past the shell and enjoy you as a person - if you let them.

But take that feeling of uncomfortableness and use it to help you lose weight. Use it for motivation to never want to feel this way again.

One thing I know for sure is that life is short. You can't put off living it until you are thin/pretty/size 10 *delete as applicable. Its a journey, it took a lot to get you where you are now. Find out how and why you got there and retrace your steps back to happy and healthy.

Good luck! x

Take today's outing as your "before" photo - when you get to your goal make sure you go see those people again - it will be an amazing confidence boost!

awesome idea. I used to hate things like that, and worse, if it involved food because if I a) ate what I want ,I felt people would think 'no wonder she's heavy' b) ate a small amount just from the veggie tray I felt people would think "who is she kidding, obviously she never eats like that". I always felt it was a no win situation. so I just had a little of this and a little of that, every food group, and just one desert. then i didn't feel deprived, or fake.

Also, another tip, don't try the silly thing that I did all the time, squeezing into spanx that were 2 sizes too small. I thought I could trick everyone, that no one would notice what I looked like. all i did was give myself a stomach ache!

Smile and talk to people, even if you have to force it at first. you will soon see that they will see past the (temporary) packaging to the person inside. (((hugs)))

You are the only person that can change what you are eating and what you are doing. You joined MFP 8 months ago....what have you been doing? Its always difficult to get going at first, but beating yourself up on the message boards doesn't help you any; it sounds more like you are looking for attention. Make a decision and get moving! You CAN do it! The alternative is living like you are living now which doesn't sound like much fun......

Negativity helps NO ONE...Tons of people on here vent for anything, she is just trying to get some confidence & motivation to get out there and have fun tonight & not feel ashamed. Isn't that what we are on MFP for in some ways, to have friends to help motivate us and encourage us to be strong!!! I just had to get that out there!! NEGATIVITY is what causes INSECURITY!!

ETA: I am sure she appreciates your vote of confidence!!:grumble:

srsly! judgmental much???

I did avoid many fun things and social events last year. I felt so unlovable. My friends missed me and thought I was not interested in them anymore. I regret doing this. I am so glad these people are encouraging you to go. TAKE PICTURES from every angle. I wish had... and have a great time.

Jules:flowerforyou:

Until you are ready to change for yourself you wont....plain and simple.

From what you posted you are not ready to make any changes at all unfortunately.

Have you thought about getting professional help to change your can't attitude to can?

I hope you had a nice time at the party! The first time I did that- didn't let myself go out with my husband because of how I looked- that was one my moments that have gotten me to stick to exercising and dieting. Remember even when you are working really hard to exercise and eat right, it will take months before a person reaches his or her goal. I can't honestly imagine myself at 160 lbs, BUT what I can handle is TODAY.

Today I can exercise for 35 minutes and get some strength training in for my arms. Today I can avoid foods that I would eat too much of and aren't healthy for me at least for breakfast and lunch. Today I know I can go to bed without over-stuffing myself with food in order to be comfortable feeling. Today I know I can go out with my husband to a party and I can nibble a little bit of something I enjoy- and that I can tell myself to stop and know I will stop. Today i can make the choice to enjoy spending time with family and friends

I can only handle today- not tomorrow, next week, or next month. And nobody can take away today from me.

Think what their reaction will be, next time, when you lose that 130; that'll be fun.

I'm rooting for you.

I know how you feel. I am the same way. I basically anti social since I have gained weight..and it's not healthy for my kids to see.

You can do it! Remember, just let them see you now, and they'll be so impressed with your weight loss next time you see them! If they're nice enough people, they won't care that you've gained weight.

I truly admire your courage!! First of all to be honest with yourself and to be brave enough to share your struggles with others is commendable. Thank you for that. I find this happening to me more and more. Second, to see that I am not the only one going through this is more helpful than anything up to this point!

You brave, brave woman. Remember this day and when you reach goal, which you absolutely will, remember this day again and hold your head up knowing YOU made a change. Each day wake up making a change, those changes add up and pay back big time.


, Sass

Thank you everyone! I'm grateful for the encouraging words. I'm wiping the tears away and going to go get this over with. I'm sure you are all right - it won't be as bad as I think.

Go in with a positive attitude! The people if they are true friends will not care how much you weigh. And I agree with the above poster, take this as the first step to a new you!

Hold yur head up Mama!!! and smile! most folks are too busey worring bout themselves!! You go to this thing,and walk in there like you are at yur goal weight,besides what they think does not matter! have a great time!

If you don't want to go, then don't go. it's as simple as that. But don't punish your husband and keep him from going out and seeing his friends.