The Boys side of the gym!

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124

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  • sixisCHANGEDjk
    sixisCHANGEDjk Posts: 243
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    IDK. I live in Texas. Everyone is "sweetheart", "sugar", "honey", "doll", etc. :indifferent:

    Exactly ^ this for me. I use the term but don't mean anything by it.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Southern girl here, we call everyone sweetheart, darling, hun, honey, babe. I use them often and don't think twice. I was unaware they were offensive names.

    When I worked in the casinos (Mississippi Gulf Coast not Vegas) I could always tell the Northerners, they'd give me a crazy look when I'd say, honey, hun, sugar, babe, etc.

    Some would flat out tell you not to call them that others would say 'I love the South, everyone is so friendly" :laugh:
  • apriltrainer
    apriltrainer Posts: 732 Member
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    most of the guys at the gym I work out are scared of me.

    hee hee.

    Seriously though..I work at a college campus and I am an older member. Most of them probably want to call me mom.Although I am still too young to have birthed any of them unless I had a teen pregnancy...

    So noone calls me sweetheart. That would be a nice change of pace though.

    AT another gym I was a member at(one of the big box varieties) I had some guys call me sweetheart or doll...I used to hate it.

    Then I came to the campus gym where guys definately aren't being taught manners anymore by their mothers.

    And what I mean is that gym etiquette amongst college age boys is absent. I once was doing stepups with a weight, set it down to catch my breath and before I exhaled the weights were grabbed from me!

    I was so pissed.

    Not even 1 second went by before that happened.

    (I ended up getting them back, btw.)

    Despite that, I feel comfortable in the boys section. Maybe it is because I am an older woman in a primarily college aged gym setting. I have been lifting longer than these boys have been out of diapers.

    I wouldn't mind being called sweetheart again!
  • jeolds
    jeolds Posts: 104 Member
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    Wow, who knew politeness would garner such a negative reaction. He didn't make an offensive innuendo, didn't swear, didn't wolf whistle or anything else particularly provocative. I don't see a problem here other than a little oversensitivity to a term that seems to be pretty commonly used in the South.

    ^^^ What he said. Some regions use that as a common term and it is not intended to be offensive. The best response you could have had is just to say in a polite manner. "I would prefer you use my name and it is ...." Problem solved and nobody remains offended and you might have made a new friend.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Could have been worse, he could have thrown out the ol Lil John on you... Move biT@H get out the way... :laugh:

    Pretty sure that was Ludacris
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Ignore that shizz...It's infuriating I know, but it's best to ignore. I got asked if the weight I was using was too heavy by someone.....REALLy?! It's all good though. Keep it up and keep your head up and ignore. You'll be outlifting them all soon!! muah hahah!!!
  • Shfiftyfive
    Shfiftyfive Posts: 261
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    or2vt4.jpg
  • Lina4Lina
    Lina4Lina Posts: 712 Member
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    I think we should rename it to the girls side ;)
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    So no one messes with you, and when you ask for equipment they give it to you, and since they're aren't hitting on you all the time they don't know your name and called you sweetheart. Wait, what was the problem again? Nothing to see here folks, move along.

    btw, by calling it the "boy's side of the gym" you're engaging in a bit of sexism yourself. The free weight section is open to all comers, and in 20 years of lifting I've never seen a woman (or anybody for that matter) have a problem in there. There a whole lot of "the guys were looking at me!" posts, but where I work out, people usually have eyes, and they use those eyes to see. So they will look at guys, girls, animals, martians, and whatever else is slinging iron around them.
    Don't worry your pretty little head about it sugar! LOL

    awesome.
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
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    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.
    ^^This.

    Never realized sweetheart was so offensive.

    It is very offensive where I come from. In Massachusetts it's used to mean "okay, cute little girl who thinks she can keep up with the guys. Go ahead and delude yourself by stealing my weight lifting bar." But a lot of that's conveyed in the tone and the leer/eyeroll that go with it.

    In the south, North Carolina to be exact, I've also been called sweetheart, young lady, and honey by people of both sexes. As far as I could tell, they meant it in a friendly, non-condescending way. It's not my favorite form of address, but I'll take it in the spirit that it's meant.

    For your situation, I'd say let it go unless the guy was overtly rude or you get a hostile vibe when you're working out. If people start making remarks or edging you out of the space, ask them to stop. If they give you any lip, go to the management. My bet though is that it's a one time thing not worth getting into.

    And for all you guys making claims about how all women get offended at everything - try substituting any other group (race, religion, whatever) in that statement and see if you don't hear how rude it is. If you really think that way about women, don't be surprised if a lot of the women you meet find you offensive.
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
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    Maybe.....
    Call "her" Maybe
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.
    ^^This.

    Never realized sweetheart was so offensive.

    It is very offensive where I come from. In Massachusetts it's used to mean "okay, cute little girl who thinks she can keep up with the guys. Go ahead and delude yourself by stealing my weight lifting bar." But a lot of that's conveyed in the tone and the leer/eyeroll that go with it.

    In the south, North Carolina to be exact, I've also been called sweetheart, young lady, and honey by people of both sexes. As far as I could tell, they meant it in a friendly, non-condescending way. It's not my favorite form of address, but I'll take it in the spirit that it's meant.

    For your situation, I'd say let it go unless the guy was overtly rude or you get a hostile vibe when you're working out. If people start making remarks or edging you out of the space, ask them to stop. If they give you any lip, go to the management. My bet though is that it's a one time thing not worth getting into.

    And for all you guys making claims about how all women get offended at everything - try substituting any other group (race, religion, whatever) in that statement and see if you don't hear how rude it is. If you really think that way about women, don't be surprised if a lot of the women you meet find you offensive.

    Not being a woman, I will grant you that the sweetheart comment could be offensive. It would def be offensive in a work setting, but in a gym setting, people call me "brotha" and I don't jump to the conclusion that it's a black thing. It's just how people talk in gyms.

    But you can't just say don't call her sweetheart. Please give us your preferred substitute. Because if they guy just stayed silent and gave her the bar should she would be posting a thread saying he was mad dogging her for being on the boys side of the gym. So assuming some cordial exchange of words was going to take place, what would the ladies (women, females, girls...) of this thread prefer? Personally, I don't call women sweetheart.....yet. But I'm willing to try out the top 3 suggestions on this thread for the rest of the week. I'll let you know after Labor Day how many times I got smacked.
  • iRebel
    iRebel Posts: 383
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    I really don't think he meant to be offensive unless:

    1. He had a demeaning sneer plastered on his face
    2. He laughed diabolically, as if expecting your arm to fall of upon having contact with weight
    3. He was using reverse psychology by appearing very nice and welcoming, as to have the opposite effect.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
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    Maybe it's because I am Texan, but I'd love to be called Sweetheart. Especially right before dead lifting XXX pounds.
  • sandpaperthighs
    sandpaperthighs Posts: 24
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    Let's face it probably 75% are on roids and are too busy being into themselves, then you have the 5% that are just there to perv at every *kitten* they can see and the last 20% are actually there to do a workout. I love my weights and the fact that I can workout harder than most of the men in the weights area is somewhat satisifing, if it doesn't help improve your workout or make you want to prove a point then just forget about it.
    I play my music load so that I don't have to hear all the grunts and groans I find that more anoying than anything else!!!
  • karip0303
    karip0303 Posts: 5 Member
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    Not being a woman, I will grant you that the sweetheart comment could be offensive. It would def be offensive in a work setting, but in a gym setting, people call me "brotha" and I don't jump to the conclusion that it's a black thing. It's just how people talk in gyms.


    Almost every time I have been called sweetheart it has been in the hey little girl why don't you go back and play with your dolls while the men do their work tone. why do you need a substitute how about instead of Im not using the bar here you go sweetheart, you say I'm not using the bar here you go. I do give people the benefit of the doubt when they use sweetheart and hon and try to assume they are not bring condescending but sometimes they are and the recipient can tell.
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
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    Please men tell us again how we should react to life. Us little women just don't understand how to react to niceness, we're just too damn stupid to be able to tell when we're being condescended to. No we need men who werent even there to tell us to 'grow a pair' (a pair of what?) telling us to untwist our panties or to stop crying.

    And men wonder why women are terrified to go into the men's section. Look at the reactions here because a woman didn't react he way she was supposed to.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
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    Wanna talk about sexist, let's take a look at the title of your thread.
    Let's face it probably 75% are on roids and are too busy being into themselves, then you have the 5% that are just there to perv at every *kitten* they can see and the last 20% are actually there to do a workout.

    I thought the point of this thread was to not judge somebody based on their gender? Ur doin' it wrong.
    And men wonder why women are terrified to go into the men's section.

    What happened to the good ole' days, when feminists were BAMFs?
  • nadia_in_mtl
    nadia_in_mtl Posts: 88
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    OP, it really depends on the tone he said it. It could have been harmless or it could have been condescending. If the latter ever happens to you in the future, just dish it right back.. or maybe it would be best to let it go. There are morons everywhere.

    Your story (and some of the reactions in subsequent posts) reminds me of an incident that happened to me a few years ago at the YMCA. I was done using the machine and on my way out of the cardio area, where this guy gets right in my face and tells me to "SMILE!!!!" I was too shocked to say anything, and back then I was shyer than I am today. I wasn't even frowning, when I'm spaced out or relaxed I look serious sometimes, but still, it wasn't any of his business to tell me what to do with my facial muscles :huh: There could be a million reasons why I wasn't smiling- none of his beeswax. Some people's kids...
  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
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    I love when they call me sweetheart and tap me on the *kitten* as
    I'm doing squats...only reason I lift.. Mmmmhmmm!

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