starvation mode and losing friends

I do this. I read that the calorie limits were 400-600 for guys and 200-300 for women though. I can usually manage 350 on fast days- but i have tonnes of eneregy and usually do an extra workout.

I'll admit, I do try not to have people on my friends list that net low calories... but that's mainly because I like to have friends who work towards similar goals as myself. I struggle to support anyone who consistently undereats, as personally I don't feel it's healthy.

However... I do look at people as individuals. If someone was eating super healthy clean food, and only dropping below their goals every so often, I'd probably stay friends with them. If someone is only eating 800 calories of junk a day, then that does nothing to inspire me at all, so I'd drop them.

In the past I have befriended people with eating disorders, people who freak out about being 5 calories over goal, people who abuse diet pills, people who use all their calories on alcohol and people who swing between various faddy diets and then cry when they don't work. It was mentally draining seeing things like that on my feed, so I put down my own rules.

At the end of the day, I'm here for me. I want to surround myself with people who eat a similar level of calories as myself, have a similar outlook on food and exercise and inspire me to carry on. It may be selfish, but after being here all year you start to worry less about what everyone thinks haha!

*sigh*

I'm quite sensitive and would have probably felt similar, but I suppose the world is filled with all sorts of personalities that see things completely differently and this sort of thing will always happen when you expose yourself to them.

As we only connect online, you can't really judge if your 'friends' are people you would naturally get on with in real life, and certainly not discuss your private life with.

Making the decision to turn your life around to lose weight and get fit is a big deal, in my book, also registering with a site like this and publishing your food and exercise keeps you enthused and inspired. The anonymity makes life easier if you find discussing this sort of thing with friends and family in great detail difficult, especially if they aren't very supportive.

Good luck, you have lots of great support, you don't need personalities like that in your friends list, they did you a favour by removing themselves as obviously not the kind of friend you need.

why do you care??? you should be eating less than 1200 anyways to lose weight quick, i take phentermine, eat only 800 or 1,000 calories and work out every day...for protein & nutriets i drink protein shakes & eat things like HONEY + take some viatamins

Man, I wish I could be full on 1200 calories a day! I can't do it. I don't function. But I have health problems that make it a bad idea for me. So I eat more, and I exercise a fair bit. I don't judge people who do low calorie diets, but if someone asks for an opinion on their diary, and they frequently net below 1200 calories, I'll likely tell them "get more vitamins down you and eat more a few days". But the key is whether the opinion is solicited or not.

I agree there is no "magic number" and it's about what works for you. But at the end of the day MFP is a support system and frequently people prefer to have people in their support system who follow the same/similar methods they do. And if someone has had a problem with an ED in the past, or knows someone close to them who has, then maybe yeah they might not want to support that style of eating. I knew someone at work who never ate above 1000 cals and she was underweight. I wouldn't want to have that sort of friend on MFP, because that's borderline ED to me - MFP isn't pro-ana, and I won't congratulate someone for doing that to themselves. But she was a good couple of stone underweight, so that's different to someone doing it who has the weight to lose. A few people will get addicted to losing weight, and not want to stop, so I reckon it's important to plan ahead for weight maintenance and how to gradually increase calorie intake so it doesn't all pile back on, but nor do you get stuck in a place where your metabolism can't cope with more food and you have to stay at 1200 calories the rest of your days!

I've seen some diaries on here of people who don't eat anywhere near 1200 and eat crappy food - if they are my friends then I will comment on that because I am worried about their health. The only reason I will de-friend someone is if they NEVER comment on my food / exercise but only talk about themselves...after all friendship should be give and take.

To be honest I'm pretty picky on which friends I keep when they're people I don't know personally. I've deleted a couple of people because I think their eating habits are terrible and to be honest I just don't want to read about it. If it works for them, good for them but it's not the way I want my journey to be.

I don't think I've deleted anyone for eating too little though, I'm usually under as well because of my exercise but I do make sure I eat 1,200 each day. I tend to delete people who have fast food or take away on a regular basis... I've made a huge effort to change my eating habits and I don't want to read about people who may have stayed within the calorie limit but by eating rubbish. I don't want to think I can eat that stuff, I know I can but I'd rather not so I choose not to read about it.

I'm here for lifestyle changes and to change my attitude towards food, some people just don't help your journey, those people have to go.



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First, I am sorry that you are upset that this person deleted you from their friend list. If this was someone that you were friends with outside of myfitness, then yes, you have every right to be hurt. However, if that is not the case, I am confused by how upset you are. If you get this hurt by someone you don't even know, how are you with actual friend/family relationships? This might be something that you might want to address and might also help you with self esteem and confidence issue thus ultimately assisting you with your healthy lifestyle. Second, this "friend" wrote you a note telling you why they were deleting you? I find that very odd that someone would tell you why.

I wouldn't delete someone for how much they eat, because I'm not their nanny and don't check their diaries.

I will delete someone who constantly complains how they "screwed up" or "binged" or "ate so much" when they have several hundred calories left after the so-called "binge." I'll offer advice and encouragement for a while, but if common sense falls on deaf ears... bu-bye.