Thin is the new sin?!

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jenneal89
jenneal89 Posts: 243
in Health and Weight Loss
When did it become socially acceptable to be mean to people for being thin? My 'friend' accused me of being way too thin--not the case--but would this same person bat an eye if I was too fat? No. I've worked hard to lose weight after my daughter was born. I was 205lbs after gaining 65lbs during pregnancy and I'm now 122lbs. At 5' 6" this is a good weight for someone my height. No one said a word when I gained so much weight during pregnancy or when I gained 30lbs a few years before. I do p90x and eat enough healthy food. I'm not dieting just changing my lifestyle.
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Replies

  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    My family get onto me all the time :grumble: ....

    But they are all 3-4 stones overweight so I put it down to jealousy :bigsmile:
  • roguex_1979
    roguex_1979 Posts: 247 Member
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    You are on the low side of being within a healthy BMI, but that's not really something to take too seriously. As one site I visited, you could have great muscle mass and therefore your BMI would show as overweight.

    Having looked at your pictures, you look very proportionate, but your ticker looks like you want to lose another 8lbs and I personally think this is too much.

    But, in terms of your friend saying you've lost too much weight, they might just be concerned that you will carry on losing and fall under the spell of thinking you are still too fat and therefore lose more and more until it becomes unhealthy. And really think about HOW your friend pointed out that they thought you are way too thin. Was it intended as horrible, or was it really not horrible and more concern?

    I showed a picture of me to someone when I weighed 9stone 7lbs (many years ago!), which is the top end of a healthy BMI for me, and I was told I looked ill. It's all perspective really.

    If the comment really was horrible, it's probably just jealousy.

    Good luck!
  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
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    I believe there is such a thing as too thin, *but* that's between a person and their doctor. And even if they are deemed unhealthily thin by their doctor, that's no reason to judge them for it. Even if it's for reasons such as eating disorders, that doesn't make the person who is thin disgusting - they're just a person who isn't at their healthiest, which is something of which most people are guilty anyway.

    Alas, it's just very, very easy for people to judge. Matter of fact, it's easier to judge others than to judge oneself.
  • Stuz359
    Stuz359 Posts: 81
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    Over 60% of the adult population in the UK are overweight or obese. The truth is, fat is the norm now, so people at a healthy weight are now in the minority. So yeah, jealousy.
  • jenneal89
    jenneal89 Posts: 243
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    You are on the low side of being within a healthy BMI, but that's not really something to take too seriously. As one site I visited, you could have great muscle mass and therefore your BMI would show as overweight.

    Having looked at your pictures, you look very proportionate, but your ticker looks like you want to lose another 8lbs and I personally think this is too much.

    But, in terms of your friend saying you've lost too much weight, they might just be concerned that you will carry on losing and fall under the spell of thinking you are still too fat and therefore lose more and more until it becomes unhealthy. And really think about HOW your friend pointed out that they thought you are way too thin. Was it intended as horrible, or was it really not horrible and more concern?
    I showed a picture of me to someone when I weighed 9stone 7lbs (many years ago!), which is the top end of a healthy BMI for me, and I was told I looked ill. It's all perspective really.

    If the comment really was horrible, it's probably just jealousy.

    Good luck!


    I don't really want to lose more weight just tone up and lose an inch from my upper thighs. I lose weight in that area last due to genetics (thanks mom lol). My friend asked me if I had an eating disorder and said my bones are sticking out. She accused me of sitting around eating celery all day! (which I do not) I've always been thin as I have a fairly high metabolism but it's slowed down a tad as I've gotten older. When I was 13 years old I weighed 90lbs and was 5'4" and ate like a pig. Other kids asked me if i was anorexic the too but wasnt. In fact, I struggled eith eating too much and unhealthy food. Now, I am also quite muscly from lifting weight and doing ab work. :)
  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member
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    As long as you think you are a healthy weight, not too thin, then forget what anyone says. 9/10 times it is down to jealousy.
  • HappyStack
    HappyStack Posts: 802 Member
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    I think everyone gets this at some point. I'm 145lbs now (10.5st approx.) and I used to be about 18 stone. I have around 15-20lbs to lose until I'm at my desired weight... when I tell people I want to lose around another stone, they say "you'll be too thin," or "there'll be nothing of you" or "you look fine now" etc.

    As nice as they think it is to say, it's actually pretty annoying. It's not about how I look -- at least not for me -- it's about being healthy. Eating carrot sticks and celery all day isn't going to make you healthy, so goodness knows where people get that idea from.

    It's the conventional view on 'diets' I suppose.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    We seem to live in a world where it has become socially acceptable to be mean to anyone for any ridiculous shallow reason. Does it make me old to long for the days when you just didn't say anything if you didn't have something nice to say???
  • jenneal89
    jenneal89 Posts: 243
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    We seem to live in a world where it has become socially acceptable to be mean to anyone for any ridiculous shallow reason. Does it make me old to long for the days when you just didn't say anything if you didn't have something nice to say???

    I agree. I understand being concerned but no need to be mean! That makes you nice, not old :smile:
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    We seem to live in a world where it has become socially acceptable to be mean to anyone for any ridiculous shallow reason. Does it make me old to long for the days when you just didn't say anything if you didn't have something nice to say???


    Nope...I wish it was still like that

    Went to Egypt on hols a few months ago and the majority of British people there were overweight and a lot of them were young too..we only get one life and think we should live it how we want, if someone wants to be heavy it's up to them...although I think it's sad when people have so low self regard for themselves that they can't be bothered to eat healthily and move a bit.

    I was 11 stone at school, I'm only 5ft and I was MISERABLE but when I left school I lost tons of weight and felt much better
  • loztredders
    loztredders Posts: 142
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    I hear ya, it seems it's fine for people at work to get on my case for refusing a cake etc as according to them i'm too slim (I'm not underweight) but if I was to say to them don't eat that cake since you're overweight I think I'd be ostricised!
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Like it's been said above, it's probably jealousy. People don't like seeing other people look better than they do, it makes them feel insecure!!
  • jenneal89
    jenneal89 Posts: 243
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    I hear ya, it seems it's fine for people at work to get on my case for refusing a cake etc as according to them i'm too slim (I'm not underweight) but if I was to say to them don't eat that cake since you're overweight I think I'd be ostricised!

    Exactly!
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
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    Jealousy brings out the nasty in people.

    I know it's a cliche saying "they're just jealous" but it is true.. You don't critisise someone for being fat because it's not often (I know some people are different than others) that people are jealous of a fatter person's body.

    People get jealous when you have a killer body :)
  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member
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    I hear ya, it seems it's fine for people at work to get on my case for refusing a cake etc as according to them i'm too slim (I'm not underweight) but if I was to say to them don't eat that cake since you're overweight I think I'd be ostricised!


    So true....And it makes me so mad when people refer to whatever you eat as being on a diet, and asking why you are on one.... It's like no one wants to be healthy anymore, and you're looked down on if you do by some!
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
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    And the worst has to be when people are trying to make you drink alcohol.. Like the other day I went to a BBQ and I had diet lemonade and was eating the salads rather than the burgers and stuff..

    Someone I know who I haven't seen properly since I've lost weight was then telling me I was being boring because I didn't want to waste calories on alcohol.. And because I wasn't eating fatty burgers.

    I wish sometimes people would just leave it. As you can see from my profile picture I'm definately not wasting away!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    People should use some tact, but I don't think it's always jealousy. Thin people are desired in most societies, and so people don't realize they could be hurting you for calling you too thin or getting on you about not eating the cake (that last is usually both insecurity and thinking they are being complimentary.) Most just think they are expressing concern or even paying you a compliment. Also, being thin is something that for most takes some work. People assume you are thin because you are trying to be and want to be. That's another reason they feel comfortable to make sure you are not taking it too far. (At the end of the day, I would personally much rather be *****ed at for being thin than made fun of for being fat--which still happens to people much more than thin people think it does.)

    On the other hand, most people don't want to be heavy and don't think others "should" be. Most don't try to be overweight, so people feel a lot more awkward making a comment because they are afraid of hurting the person or because they don't want to seem like they are judgmental. Finally, most people assume that most people who are overweight know they are.

    I'm not saying it's ok to pick with anyone, but those are my reasons for thinking it's not always about jealousy.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    It can take people a very long time to change their mental picture of you. They are used to seeing you with either more weight on you or pregnant, so every time they see you you look very different to them and they are still surprised. Eventually, they replace their mental snapshot of you with your current appearance, but it takes time. Maybe that's what's happened here?

    It doesn't justify nasty comments though!
  • GuineaMother
    GuineaMother Posts: 59 Member
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    This is something I just don't get. When I used to be slim (oh, those were the days...) people used to say things like "have some, you need it, you're all skin and bones" when they got the cake out and I refused. But nobody would ever dream of saying "hey fatty, is that a good idea?" when I reach for the cake now that I've put loads back on!
    Grr!
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
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    Actually, as someone said if 60% of the population is overweight, it could be jealousy of someone they saw looking like them lost weight, but...then again. They could be genuinely concerned. If everyone they see is almost all overweight and the few they see who are skinny are model or actors (known for some bad diet and exercise habits to get to extreme weights in some cases), then their concept of what a *healthy* normal person looks like is probably screwy, if you think about it. If most cases you know visually are overweight friends and relatives or overly skinny people they see on TV, then they could be concerned you're getting and eating disorder--because they don't know what healthy diet and exercise look like.

    Though I'm sure they're just having image issues--either for themselves or their perception of what you look like.

    Just sounded like an interesting sociological question--if the majority of the population is overweight, how does that effect visual concepts/perceptions of what a healthy weight *looks* like.

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