Too Embarrassed to Lift Those Weights

My gym is separated into strength training equipment/TRX/weights on the first floor and cardio on the second. I know I should be getting some strength training in to round out my routine, but I always find myself too embarrassed to grab those dumbbells. The first floor is completely DOMINATED by men covered in (sometimes beautiful/admirable/distracting) muscles (; The thought of going down there is so intimidating and awkward.

Irrationally, I feel like someone is gonna watch me and be like "wow, look.. her form is all wrong. She's so stupid." I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this. Hahaha. I just need to muster up some nerve and trek down there one of these days.
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Replies

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I feel this way sometimes also. But, it usually goes just fine! And people smile at me.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    This is exactly how I feel!

    I only lift when its dead at the gym...the other day I literally went to my gym...saw it was crowded...headed straight for the comfort zone (treadmills) ...

    ..then went home and did a suitcase workout (youtube it lol).

    I honestly think I just need to spend one session with a personal trainer that can show me all the ropes. I reeeeally hate this "stage-fright".

    As much as everyone keeps saying they mind their own business when working out I've seen a BUNCH of threads about poor form and "I can't believe I saw this at the gym!" and yadda yadda.

    Wanna make a pact to suck it up do it tomorrow? lol
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Yeah, I used to go into the weights room, just fine, all the time. And sometimes I would forget my form and a guy would correct me and it was all good. But, since reading these forums I started to feel a lot more worried and awkward about going into the weights room. I really need to shake that all off and remember that it's still all the same nice people in there (not everyone is nice, but most are). On the bright side I have been learning a lot. You might feel more comfortable if you have a good program to work with such as the books: "The New Rules of Lifting for Women" or "The New Rules of Lifting for Abs".

    There is a women's room at my gym that has everything I need for most of my workout (bench, heavy dumbbells, mats, balls, barbells, steps and risers, cord weights and lat pull down, etc...), but I need to go into the main section for the power rack and some heavier barbell weights.
  • Haha, I think it's just my pride. I hate looking stupid... and I hate being corrected even more! The idea that some stranger would be irked so much by my theoretically horrible form that he'd come up to me and correct me would have my face red in seconds. SO MUCH STAGE FRIGHT. Haha, I'm glad I'm not alone.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Haha, I think it's just my pride. I hate looking stupid... and I hate being corrected even more! The idea that some stranger would be irked so much by my theoretically horrible form that he'd come up to me and correct me would have my face red in seconds. SO MUCH STAGE FRIGHT. Haha, I'm glad I'm not alone.

    Sometimes guys correct a lady just to be nice, and maybe even because he thinks she's cute! I've made some friends that way, too.
  • ishtar13
    ishtar13 Posts: 528 Member
    Come talk to us over on Stronglifts for women http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/4618-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

    Or join the New Rules of Lifting for Women group: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/102-new-rules-of-lifting-for-women-nrol4w


    I also wrote this a little while ago: How I became unafraid of the mostly boy weight room http://2010flacas.blogspot.com/2012/05/how-i-became-unafraid-of-mostly-boy.html
  • Just sounds like an awkward mess for me!
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I don't know why gyms don't work harder to make women feel welcome in the weights area. It would make them money...

    That said, yup, can relate.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    My suggestion is to have a session or two with a trainer to get yourself familiarized with free weights and to check your form.

    To be perfectly honest, most people are focussed on their own workout and trust me, if your form is not that good, you will not be the only one, I have seen some pretty bad form from the muscle guys. However, you need to make sure your form is good to prevent injury.

    Do lots of homework, check out YouTube, get yourself some good books (Starting Strength and New Rules are a couple) and as I said, get a few sessions with a trainer if you can.

    ETA: when you do go on your own - have a plan, with your workout already written out, including your reps/weights (which you may have to tinker with until you get your strength levels sorted). It will be much less intimidating this way as you will have more focus.
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    Think about it this way.

    You think those guys are cute - they come over and give you a little one on one attention to help you out...

    ...You get some good lifting form, and attention from a cute guy - and he's probably getting a kick out of it himself!

    It's a win win win.

    There's nothing to be afraid of - you even being in there is a massive step ahead of a lot of others, and the guys in there will know this.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Everyone, absolutely everyone has bad form at one exercise or another. You learn proper form, if you pay attention and see how others do it, ask questions or read. Bad form is actually perfectly ok at the start IF you are careful to start low and slow AND you are trying to improve your form.

    I speak several languages and it is the basic think I teach others about language learning - you can't learn proper usage by not doing.
    To learn, do.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    No one is looking at you.
  • smaschin
    smaschin Posts: 91
    When a woman is in the gym if a guy is looking it is not because of her form or weight she is lifting, hes looking for the same reasons any guy looks at any time really.

    When I am in the gym in there to TRAIN, there to GROW not SHOW, those that stand around gawping or chatting are not worth worrying about.

    TRAIN and ZONE out and you wont even see anyone.

    Peace
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Pre-emptive strike: go up to someone who looks vaguely approachable and ask if he has the time to show you as you want to start lifting. After he's dropped the weight on his foot in shock, sworn under his breathe and jumped on his other foot for five minutes, I'm sure he'd be more than pleased to show you the ropes.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    If I can hack it in a women-only aerobics class (I actually meant to go in to the one that sometimes had one or two other men and involved different moves), you can hack going to the weights area :).
    And yes, my 'form' was terrible and I was a sweaty pile by the end of it!
  • zechks
    zechks Posts: 224
    If you get intimidated in the weight room, you might as well get a personal trainer or a gym buddy who knows the way around the gym and how stuff works. And yeah don't get embarassed if you don't know how to lift weights properly, men doesn't care, most of us find it cute and makes us just wanna walk towards you and offer some help. ;)
  • Maddy__H
    Maddy__H Posts: 28 Member
    I totally agree with Sara! Investing the money to get a trainer for a few sessions to cover the basics is well worth it and will pay off in the long run!
    If you cannot afford it, make sure you have a plan and don't wander around clueless doing a bit of this and that, as its getting you nowhere in the first place. There are quite a few programmes mentioned in the thread already. Go check them out.
    And believe me, most people that correct your form, do it for your good... I also found it awkward at first, but soon learned that it is important. Ideally you get a buddy to spot you - maybe another girl if that is more comfortable for you. Just put a note on the board in the gym or gumtree or such.
    It's like with everything in life - the most difficult bit is getting started! I have to train all across different gyms, as I keep travelling for work, so I have the "OMG all new experience" every other week. : )

    Good luck with it!
  • Tank_Girl
    Tank_Girl Posts: 372 Member
    I wouldnt worry about it, im the unfit one at my kickboxing class and have to work really hard to keep up but what the hell! Just do it anyway
  • knitfastpurlyoung
    knitfastpurlyoung Posts: 102 Member
    I've just started in the weights area myself, and a few sessions later I feel much more comfortable there now.

    I certainly experienced that first-day-of-school feeling, but the more I go, the more welcome I feel. I find it helps to stay open and friendly, which hopefully invites advice or tips from those around me. Its always encouraging if you leave having had a good chat with someone.

    Push through this stage. Its all in your head - which means you have the power to change it. You belong there as much as anyone else.

    Life has a way of conditioning us ladies to shy away from typically male-past times or vocations. Its just knowledge, knowledge acquired through doing. They aren't any more capable than you are, they just have a bit of a head start is all.

    And anyway... boys are quite lovely aren't they. ;)
  • And anyway... boys are quite lovely aren't they. ;)

    Yes, yes they are.

    Thanks for the advice y'all (:
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
    Irrationally, I feel like someone is gonna watch me and be like "wow, look.. her form is all wrong. She's so stupid."

    http://youtu.be/_-91_iXATY8

    I often see guys with really bad form. I know mine can be horrible sometimes. But you need to get in there anyway. I really love seeing women in the weights part.

    I really hate seeing women that are WAAAAAAAAY stronger and fitter than me. I swear some of the women at my gym have such massive core strength they could destroy me. And I think that's cool.
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    If as a woman, you're intimidated...just think how most guys feel who have never lifted before feel....


    Truth is I'm sure most people go through this when they first get started. It's all a learning curve. Go down, ask questions of either trainers at the gym or people who look like they probably have an idea. Seek out other women too. Go as a group.

    I went alone in the beginning and didn't have a clue what I was doing. Dumb for me..I know...but that's what I did. It took about 2 months or so before several people at the gym (and some half my age) came over and asked if they could help. (I obviously looked like I could use it). LOL

    Those that were not trainers told me "I'm no expert, but here's what I understand" and then one of the guys use to be a personal trainer and run a major gym. He helped me with several pieces of equipment and how to isolate and use good technique and control.

    Then (and only now) am I reading about the various ways to obtain goals and isolate things and training patterns. I now have much more confidence to ask other guys and even pro atheletes how they do what they do and the best form. Everyone is super nice and helpful.

    I see women there (and have some tell me) they are intimidated. I tell them there is no reason for it. Just learn good technique, ask people to help you, and feel more confident in what you are trying to do.

    Best words of advice to me (once you get started) are - Warm up first (15-30 min), go into the weight room with a purpose (goal) and be organized about how you approach it. It will cut down on your wasted time in the weight room. People will help you figure out what's best for you - super sets (pull / push vs top bottom) - alternating excercise or stacks, reverse stacks etc. All that's for later. For now...just figure out what on your body you want to work (total or isolated) and then have someone help you.

    Of course guys are going to look. Most of the time it's just glancing around to see who is where and on what equipment. However, I'm one that likes the idea of women working out in the weight room. I find the mixed environment refreshing and I know everyone there is there for the same purpose...to get healthy, fit, flexible, and strong.

    So go and no worries. Just enjoy.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
    If as a woman, you're intimidated...just think how most guys feel who have never lifted before feel....

    I was that guy 7 months ago. And since then I've lost like 70lbs.

    Thing I realise is when I see guys in there that are skinner than me, or really buff. I know they've been doing it for years to get to that point. There is no way a noob like me could compare to a guy that's been lifting for 6-12 years. So i don't even try.

    I don't get intimidated. I just get in there and give it my best shot. And if I see anyone man OR woman, that is stronger or fitter than I am (most of them) I watch what they do. And I hope that one day, I'll be able to be their equal and/or better. And then I keep going. Coz if they can do it. Then maybe so can I.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    My suggestion is to stick some headphones in and go.

    I'm the chick at 6 am, with headphones in who is just gets in an goes.. I don't care who's looking or who's thinking what.

    I've gotten the occasional look or stare.. and one guy told me what I was doing looked really weird(I blame my trainer.. he likes to do crazy things!) but for the more part people leave me alone.

    If you have that look on your face like look, I'm here to workout, don't **** with me.. then people wont'.. that simple!
  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member

    ..then went home and did a suitcase workout (youtube it lol).


    THANK YOU for mentioning this! Fantastic
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    My gym is separated into strength training equipment/TRX/weights on the first floor and cardio on the second. I know I should be getting some strength training in to round out my routine, but I always find myself too embarrassed to grab those dumbbells. The first floor is completely DOMINATED by men covered in (sometimes beautiful/admirable/distracting) muscles (; The thought of going down there is so intimidating and awkward.

    Irrationally, I feel like someone is gonna watch me and be like "wow, look.. her form is all wrong. She's so stupid." I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this. Hahaha. I just need to muster up some nerve and trek down there one of these days.

    Four things to keep in mind.

    1. Your form isn't going to get better by itself. Get down there and get started working on it.
    2. Those muscle covered men? Here's a secret for you. When they started, their form sacked too. Might still be bad. Also, when THEY first started lifting they were worried about looking like an idiot just like you are right now. I know I was. The only difference between us and you is that *we started*. Get down there. Now.
    3. Everybody looks at everybody working out. There's a lot of boring down time between sets. They aren't paying special attention to you. Well, unless you're smoking hot. That brings us to the final point.
    4. All women lifting heavy in the free weights section are smoking hot. Regardless of age or shape, if you work out in the free weights section, you are smoking hot. In my book, anyway.

    Be smoking hot. Go lift.
  • FieryNikkie
    FieryNikkie Posts: 61 Member
    My suggestion is to stick some headphones in and go.

    I'm the chick at 6 am, with headphones in who is just gets in an goes.. I don't care who's looking or who's thinking what.

    I've gotten the occasional look or stare.. and one guy told me what I was doing looked really weird(I blame my trainer.. he likes to do crazy things!) but for the more part people leave me alone.

    If you have that look on your face like look, I'm here to workout, don't **** with me.. then people wont'.. that simple!

    This! I just started lifting a week or so ago at a brand new gym and I felt the same way. But I had a plan going in on what I was going to do and just turned on the music and went. Did I get some looks? Yes. Did anyone say anything? Nope. I'm usually the only woman in the weight area but it seems most of the serious guys have gotten used to me being there already. The only problem I have now is when the guys who are there just to mess around, leave the 300 lbs they lifted for about 3 reps on the bar and it takes me forever to re-rack all that weight once they have disappeared.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i actually am more inclined to shake my head at the women that do tons of cardio. i once walked into the gym and noticed a woman on the stair climber. about thirty minutes later i saw her get on the treadmill. at the end of my work out i saw her on the elliptical.

    i wish more women would venture into the weights area. i would just cream my pants if a girl asked me to show her how to do a proper dead lift.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    what the others said...watch youtube videos (Mark Ripptoe are good) and practice your form in a mirror.
    Starting Strength is a great book..simple and straight forward
    New Rules For Women is great too. I would do that 2nd, A little more involved IMO

    stick you earphones in, put on some kicka$$ music, and GO!

    Jules:flowerforyou:
  • sessygail
    sessygail Posts: 44 Member
    bump for later