Parents at fault for overweight children?

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  • chattipatty2
    chattipatty2 Posts: 376 Member
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    Yes, yes, yes and yes. I have not read any comments. But in my RN opinion, and my own experience, my answer will always be yes. Feed your kids healthy at home. When they get older, they will have to make some decisions, and hopefully will make the right ones.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
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    Yes it's the parents fault. IMO this is child abuse/ neglect. It is your job to provide your child with good health, as well as being able to take some time and teach them proper nutrition and exercise. No child should be suffering from preventable diseases like diabetes, respiratory problems etc.

    Telling a kid they can't have an apple isn't child abuse. Good grief. Maybe the kid already at a ton of fruit that day.
    Duh. I meant letting kids get obese is child abuse. Should have elaborated on that to make things clear.
  • Serenstar75
    Serenstar75 Posts: 258 Member
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    I remember talking about this at my pre-natal classes a few years back, supposedly the worst eating habit you can teach a child is to always finish everything on their plate.. So many parents do this so their child can't just be fussy and not eat their veges or whatever but supposedly this is why so many people have problems with portion control, because they are taught to finish everything on their plate whether they are full or not

    For my daughter when getting her off of her grandma's kick of pizza and nuggets only and changing how she ate, she had to eat all veggies on her plate to get to the stuff she found desirable. Veggies were the only thing she had to eat before she could eat the rest and was able to stop and it was a reasonable portion. Kids do not need adult portions. Heck, I had issues too when my ex insisted on making plates for me then would guilt me into having to eat all of it. It was a horrible relationship. Now I'm losing weight, he's with a new wife and gaining.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites.


    I don't quite understand this whole "keep the kid hungry so they can eat when *I* say they can eat", and that feeding when they are hungry is somehow "ruining" their appetite?


    Definition of appetite: "A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, esp. for food"

    So....we don't want to "ruin" this uncomfortable, hungry feeling for them? We want them to keep feeling hungry?


    I just don't get it.

    Because some kids will refuse to eat anything but certain foods. My son will try to avoid eating dinner by offering to eat some broccoli. Does that mean broccoli is bad? No, but he needs to eat something other than broccoli for dinner.
  • hlinn01
    hlinn01 Posts: 36
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    I think parents have the power to teach their children healthy habits, and should do this. I can say that, yes I allow my children to have treats occasionally. I may let them each choose a candy bar at the grocery store. I however, usually only allow them to eat a fraction of it at one sitting. One candy bar may last my kids 4 days. I also like to put fresh fruit out where they can easily get to it. The candy gets put in a secret place, so I am in charge of when it gets eaten. I have a son who has juvenile diabetes. Let me make this clear, he did not get this due to weight. He is super skinny and always has been. Type one diabetes and Type two are completely different in some ways. It does mean that I do need to really watch and control what my kids eat. This should be every parents responsibility, regardless of the situation. I do like that an office had fruit out and not candy. I probably would have allowed the apple, but it would also depend on where my son's sugars were at, because an apple is one carb. choice, and if he was already on the high end, I probably would have said no, and a burger if not on a bun is 0 carbs., my son could have that, not saying that's exactly what I would do though.
  • bizorra
    bizorra Posts: 151 Member
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    I was going to write out about how I don't think my parents were to blame for me gaining weight, then I realised that I started to pudge out after they got divorced! Yeah they taught me proper nutrition, too bad they couldn't have taught me how to deal with feelings in ways other than eating!!!

    But its hard. I know my mom struggled walking the fine line between encouraging me to eat better but not harming my self esteem. My mother and grandmother both struggle with their weight. My Grandma is in her 90s and STILL carries baggage about how her mother crippled her self esteem for being heavy (she got her figure from her dad's side, and passed it right along lol).
  • InvidiaXII
    InvidiaXII Posts: 315 Member
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    Since kids don't have much say in what they eat-- they don't go to the store, buy their own food, or cook their own meals-- yeah I think it's the parents' fault in most cases. They're the ones making choices for their kids. Fat kids make me almost as sad as fat dogs and cats.
  • Rinkermann
    Rinkermann Posts: 108 Member
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    under feeding is more understandable when you consider that people suffer from poverty and often struggle for food. however, watching your child gain more and more weight, and just doing nothing about it, takes a particularly callous individual.

    let's face it, weight gain doesn't happen overnight. it's not one simple mistake made in the blink of an eye. it's a continuous and repeated neglect, day after day. here in the UK it is started to be looked at more and more as child abuse, and many schools run weight tests and flag the issue up with social services if need be. i think that is the way forward.
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    unless there is a medical problem with a kid, or they are reconvering form an injury and they can't get around, I do blame all aprents for overweight kids. Once they hit about 12 and up they have more access to food outside the home but I tihnk parents shoudl mainly pack school lunches and pick and chese what days kids can eat at school as a treat. I also think that parents should not keep junk in the house, if I want something i go out and get it that way it isn't in the house for my kids to eat all at once, we indulge as a familyonce in a while. I do reward my 3 yr old who is autistic with fruit snacks (like a fruit roll up) once every day ot two as it is one thing he really looks forward to and the reward system is eay for him to understand.

    I made my own babyfood for my son, breastfed for over a year, and my son is the only 3 yr old I know who will ask for a salad and grilled chicken for dinner. I let him have dressing and stuff like that because he is not dieting, still growing but his meals are balanced and nutritious. If only i ate what he eats I would not have a problem but . . thats another story. My son is tall for his age and looks skinny but his weight is good, he is just built thin. He asks for apples for snacks, loves raw veggies 9not cooked) and fruit.

    Now, with that being said, he does love Happy meals at Mc Donads. We let him have one every Thursday (when my husband and I are both off we do a family day and Jaiden gets to chose where we eat) he eats 2 nuggets, the apples and the fries (and the new happy meals have real small fried cuz they come with apples now too yay) so I am in no way trying to say my son wouldn't eat junk all the time if I let him, I am saying I buy the food, i cook the food so really adults are the ones who control the diet.

    Kids being overweight is a sad subject for me. I grew up with a mom who battled depression so she was kinda lazy,she was overweight and in turn bought fast food litterally 2 times a day, and what food she did "prepare" was frozen food and chips/sweets. to this day she eats like that. My borther and I have both taken control of our own diets. I do like taco bell still and I work 12-14 hours a day so i don't get to cook for myself often. But the food in my home is healthy 100%. I don't blame the kids, i feel sorry that they are being raised with poor habits!
  • LikesVeges
    LikesVeges Posts: 42 Member
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    When my son was two, he was sitting in the grocery cart holding a sweet potato and looking at it with glee. The person behind me in line asked my how in the world I got my child to eat like that......ah... I said, "Well, he doesn't have his own money yet, so I'm in charge of buying his food."

    I have struggled with my weight all of my children's lives, but I still taught them about good nutrition, shared my struggles with food and my desire for our family to be healthy. I am blessed, they are young adults, healthy,happy and w/o weight issues. (However, my girls exercise and curb treats when they are up a few pounds......I wish I was so strong!!)

    However, I know it is hard, because so many parents just do not have the information..... and lot sof times, when they get it, their children are already used to junk food and that's hard to change w/o lots of pain.

    When kids go to school it's hard to only eat healthy, cause other children share their knowlege of junk food. But, the best advice I can give is to start them with whole good food at a young age. At least while they are doubling in size from infants to school age. If they don't know it's out there, they eat what's before them (for the most part.....everyone, even children have their preferences).

    Don't give up. The pain of obesity will only grow if we do not help the next generations.
  • angelcurry130
    angelcurry130 Posts: 265 Member
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    It is NOT always the parents' fault. In some cases, especially with eating disorders, the parents are not the issue. When I was younger, my parents provided me with very nutritious meals. Sadly, I found comfort in food and I felt the need to eat more, and did so without their knowledge. And it showed. I was obese my entire life. None of my siblings were. My parents didn't shove sugar and fat down my throat. Even when they tried to help by pushing me to be more active, I would put out the least amount of effort. I didn't try. They can hardly be blamed for that.
    It is true that in this day and age, parents that are inattentive to their childrens' needs or ill-educated in nutrition can destroy their childrens' health. Those people are usually just as unhealthy as their offspring and aren't doing anything to change that. But please don't be judgemental of ALL parents. Some of them really do try. :-)
  • subcult
    subcult Posts: 262 Member
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    My mom watched the kids for three hours last week. My wife drops them off since my mother loves to see them a on her day off. She gave all three of them two eight packs of mini donuts. A whole thing of oreos pretzles each a pack of mentors and the three yearolds a few tums just because they like them. Also each had at least a vitamin water needless to say nobody did good at dinner. My oldest is almost seven he ate everything she gave him, he's under weight and so is one of his little sister's so other than bad eating I'm not worried about them ever being obese. His other sister is built like me she is currently at ideal weight but I know she will struggle if my wife and I don't teach good habits. My mom has always been like that and its at least part of the reason I was 275 at 16 and not fully grown. That's when I finally started to take control of my own life. I've had a lot of respectful talks with her about the kids and she did make an effort. She started bringing fruit when she watched them but fed them so much of it they all threw up. She shows love through food just like her mother but neither knew how to cook so it kind of double backfires. Other than giving the kids medicine they don't need and ruining dinners she cant do any harm once a week that we can't undo atleast.
  • kmshred
    kmshred Posts: 393 Member
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    sometimes. i was fat at around eight. not my fault.
  • kritterxx
    kritterxx Posts: 100 Member
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    I think parents have the responsibility of instilling correct and healthy eating habits in their children. When I see overweight kids I get legitimately sad, and then sometimes angry - young kids shouldn't be overweight. They should be running around, having fun in the park, or so I believe. They're too young to know best, it's up to the parents to not only advise their kids and cook them good meals (and also allow them treats!), but also to set a good example themselves.

    It works both ways though, I know I do partially blame my eating disorder on my mom and the way I grew up with food. My mom is has supposedly recovered from her mental illness, but I grew up in the waiting room of a gym - she'd work out, and still does, for three to four hours a day, and I can't say she eats much. I grew up eating alone, dad at work and my mom eating her own meals (curried peas, plain peanuts, or peanut butter sandwiches: basically her diet, all in minimal amounts). Parents need to lead by example. I love my mom to death, and I know how hard she tried; always cooking new things for me to try, and meat even though she's a serious vegetarian.. But yeah. Oh well.

    Edited to add:
    I grew up in a house that never had cookies/fast food/juice/carbonated drinks/any kind of candy etc. My mother hates fast food with a passion. I think I've done okay, but I know kids who've grown up with those kind of restrictions and boom, as soon as they move out - that's all they eat, everything they 'missed out' on, which of course negatively impacts their weight and health.
  • barackobamamama
    barackobamamama Posts: 21
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    I blame parents 100% for their children's lifestyle choices, because they are the ones that make the decisions for them. If their kid prefers pizza and video games over veggies and regular exercise, that's the parents' wrong-doing.
  • barackobamamama
    barackobamamama Posts: 21
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    It is NOT always the parents' fault. In some cases, especially with eating disorders, the parents are not the issue. When I was younger, my parents provided me with very nutritious meals. Sadly, I found comfort in food and I felt the need to eat more, and did so without their knowledge. And it showed. I was obese my entire life. None of my siblings were. My parents didn't shove sugar and fat down my throat. Even when they tried to help by pushing me to be more active, I would put out the least amount of effort. I didn't try. They can hardly be blamed for that.
    It is true that in this day and age, parents that are inattentive to their childrens' needs or ill-educated in nutrition can destroy their childrens' health. Those people are usually just as unhealthy as their offspring and aren't doing anything to change that. But please don't be judgemental of ALL parents. Some of them really do try. :-)

    Your parents should have been more attentive and placed restrictions on your access to the food. They should have taken responsibility for their child's health and replaced the junk you binged on with healthy choices and monitored your eating habits more closely. Obviously if their kid is overweight/obese, things needed to change.
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites.


    I don't quite understand this whole "keep the kid hungry so they can eat when *I* say they can eat", and that feeding when they are hungry is somehow "ruining" their appetite? hmmmm, this part was supposed to be quoted also!?

    True! I have told my children that I will almost NEVER say no to fresh fruit. So, ask away. :) I think it's the parents' fault. I live in a "fat city" and I so often see a fat little hand with a candy bar that is being put on the conveyor belt at the grocery store. :( My kids get treats (more than their fair share I'm sure) but I try to encourage healthy eating by providing fruits and veggies and making them appealing. Very rarely I would say is it caused by a health condition in very young children. (not never, just rare!) and my kids NEVER have to clean their plates. Never. We just tell them "no snacks if you don't finish your dinner" (In other words, don't come ask for dessert!)

    I wonder, if it's healthy to feed on demand when you breastfeed your child, why is it unhealthy to let their appetite (w/in reason) dictate when they eat when they're older!? I breastfed all 4 of my children on demand and all were very healthy during that time...hmmm. Something to think about when I'm tempted to make them wait til meal time to have something healthy. :)
    Definition of appetite: "A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, esp. for food"

    So....we don't want to "ruin" this uncomfortable, hungry feeling for them? We want them to keep feeling hungry?


    I just don't get it.
  • sds76
    sds76 Posts: 215 Member
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    I would never judge another parent but I know that I am responsible for my oldest daughter(13) being overweight. That is one of the big things that finally made me start getting healthier. I grew up very poor and we didn't get special treats, soda, mcdonalds, etc, we stll ate like crap but it's because it's what my dad could afford or all he knew. When I had kids and had money to provide food etc, I felt like a good mom because they could have treats, eat out, etc. I had it all backwards.
    I've only been at this for about 10 weeks but we are eating so much healthier. We are sooooo much more active as a famiy. The kids love it(even my oldest). They haven't complained about any of the healthier meals I've made. They haven't complained about drinking water. We still have treats and special snacks, but now they are smaller portions and/or I change ingredients to make them healthier.
    I don't want to teach them about diets, and restricting foods etc. So I am working on just providing healthier options, teaching that all things are fine...in moderation and encouraging more activity. My daughter has lost 8lbs, with no major effort on her part, just the new things we have changed in our life.

    So yes, for me.... I as a mom, my husband as a dad, the responsible parents to our children are to blame for our children being overweight or un-healthy. Even my tiny little 8yr old, skinny as she may be, wasn't healthy. We are changing that.
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    Yes parents can be to blame for their children being overweight, but I was a chubby kid and an extremely picky eater. I wouldn't eat food because I didn't like the way it looked and while my mother tried to force me to eat healthy foods, I refused. She wouldn't allow me to leave the table until I ate my food and I would sit there all night. I would refuse food for days yet I was chubby. Eventually she started cooking separate meals for me and somehow I got into the habit of making my carbs my entree, barely touching my meat. Something I'm still trying to break to this day.

    The doctor said it was baby fat and he was right because by the time I hit puberty I was super skinny. Now I wasn't very active, maybe that was part of it. But my mother faced a lot of judgement from family members because of my size, didn't get any better when I was thin because then people said she wasn't feeding me enough. Honestly I don't know what she could have done differently since I know I must have drove her crazy when I was a kid.
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites.


    I don't quite understand this whole "keep the kid hungry so they can eat when *I* say they can eat", and that feeding when they are hungry is somehow "ruining" their appetite? hmmmm, this part was supposed to be quoted also!?

    True! I have told my children that I will almost NEVER say no to fresh fruit. So, ask away. :) I think it's the parents' fault. I live in a "fat city" and I so often see a fat little hand with a candy bar that is being put on the conveyor belt at the grocery store. :( My kids get treats (more than their fair share I'm sure) but I try to encourage healthy eating by providing fruits and veggies and making them appealing. Very rarely I would say is it caused by a health condition in very young children. (not never, just rare!) and my kids NEVER have to clean their plates. Never. We just tell them "no snacks if you don't finish your dinner" (In other words, don't come ask for dessert!)

    I wonder, if it's healthy to feed on demand when you breastfeed your child, why is it unhealthy to let their appetite (w/in reason) dictate when they eat when they're older!? I breastfed all 4 of my children on demand and all were very healthy during that time...hmmm. Something to think about when I'm tempted to make them wait til meal time to have something healthy. :)
    Definition of appetite: "A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, esp. for food"

    So....we don't want to "ruin" this uncomfortable, hungry feeling for them? We want them to keep feeling hungry?


    I just don't get it.

    Babies eat when they are hungry because they are babies, the concept of dinner time and lunch time is lost on them. But I don't think children should get to eat whenever they want to. If your family has dinner together every night, if your child snacks and ruins his appetite for dinner than that affects the family dynamic. Also children should learn that they can't have everything they want when they want it. Feeding your children on demand is not going to teach them that. What are you going to do when they go to school and the teacher says they have to wait for lunch, no eating in the class. Giving in to their natural desires could get in them in trouble. Meal times exist for a reason.

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