I'm having a hard time with "Never again"

derpina88
derpina88 Posts: 36 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was on the site... Following the guidelines, eating well, exercising regularly, and everything was going well! I was losing! Slowly but surely. But every time I start to think about never having a big plate of mac and cheese or eating a big chunk of chocolate cake or things like that its like I panic. I binge. I tell myself I need to love my self fat and lazy like I am. Now I know I need to love myself but I also need to take care of myself and Its getting hard.

How do you all deal with the thought of never having it again? I know I could have a little in theory, but I never in my life have had a little. I don't even know what that means. They say the cravings will go away but I still have them. Help me build good habits!
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Replies

  • GreekByMarriage
    GreekByMarriage Posts: 320 Member
    I don't say I am never having it again... you just learn to portion and control yourself! I just went to work with coworkers and had 1/4 of a crem brulee, I am not regretful. There will be days where I eat the whole peice... but the next day I will be back on the boat again and eating better.
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
    I don't agree with the "never again" approach. That makes being healthy a punishment instead of a blessing. If I want a treat, I make room for it in my calories. I also eat less of it than I used to eat. If you can't trust yourself now, then avoid those foods until you've learned self-control.
  • vibegirl
    vibegirl Posts: 69 Member
    I think the thing to remember here or anywhere is YOU are always in charge. For the most part all of the information we tend to take in, are other peoples opinions! Even if we are presented with so-called facts, you still get to decide!

    Personally I try to stay away from 'absolutes' - why put added stress on myself? Unless something hurts me or is an obvious detriment to my physical or mental health, I will use common sense if I want something. Even then we can still do what we want eh? We all know someone with various health issues where we think life would be easier on them if they would avoid something ie cigarettes, sugar, etc... But hey...it's their life.

    Not sure if that made you feel any different lol but my 2 cents anyway
  • bloomlately
    bloomlately Posts: 532 Member
    I hate diets. I hate the idea of restricting myself. I'm rebellious as an eater and know that I will eat those foods if I tell myself I can't have them. I'll crave them until I get them.

    I stick to my calorie goals and still eat the "bad" things. I just try to be more cognizant about portion size.
  • SophieB74656
    SophieB74656 Posts: 81 Member
    why would you never have mac and cheese or chocolate cake again? Sre you can still eat those things. A piece of cake once in a while won't derail you
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    The only things I will never have again are foods I don't like. Granted, I am not eating that stuff every day, or every week, but I still fit in what I want.
  • em9371
    em9371 Posts: 1,047 Member
    there is no 'never again', thats the key to successful loss!!!

    As soon as you say 'I am on a diet, I must not eat cake / pizza / chips / beer' or whatever your food is, you will want it even more and eventually pig out.

    By looking at this as a healthy lifestyle rather than a 'diet', you can have whatever you like as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Eat healthy most of the time and there is no harm in having a treat a few times a week. Build it into your cals / macros for the day, - if you want mac& cheese which is high in fat & carbs, have that for one meal and have chicken & salad or veg for your other meal, if you want cake, try and limit your fruits and have more veggies that day to balance the sugar. If you go over or know you will be having a higher cal meal out for example, do a bit of extra exercise to cancel it out.

    I have gone from 244lbs to 182lbs, size 20-22 to size 12-14 in 10 months, I have takeaway and cake at least once a week and eat good the rest of the time, I have never once felt like I am on a diet and want to cheat or binge, moderation works!!!
  • virginia65us
    virginia65us Posts: 106 Member
    I don't say "never again." When I want something, I have it and make up for it later in the day by exercising more or watching my intake, or better yet cut back early in the day and splurge later. You'll go crazy if you never have the things you love.
  • Camille0502
    Camille0502 Posts: 311 Member
    I agree with all the others - I've had chocolate and mac n cheese since I've been tracking on MFP. There's no such thing as "never again." Maybe "not as much" but not "never again!"
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    I have bites of things. I found the Eat to Live program. That pretty much says it for me. I want to live. I've eaten my truckloads of sugar, ice cream, pasta, whatever. I am so thankful to God that I don't have diabetes, I ONLY weighed 205 and my heaviest, and I don't have high blood pressure, signs of heart disease, or cancer.

    There is more to life than food. Find out what that is for you. When tying my shoes, putting on my underwear, and using the toilet was becoming difficult, I got scared. I was fat, getting fatter, and didn't know how fat I'd get! I decided I was not stupid, I was smart. Time to get out the brains and figure my way out of this mess. Thankfully I did. It took me 5 years. Not to lose the weight so much as to convince my brain and my inner emotional eater to go along with me. On Eat to Live (www.dr.fuhrman.com) I can eat TONS of HEALTHY FOOD. Food that nourishes my body instead of tearing it down and heading straight toward it's demise. I am thankful that I have an open mind and can change my thinking of how food affects me. It can either nourish you and keep you strong or kill you.

    I do have bits and bites of other foods, but sugar and refined grains are addictive to me and as an example 1 Oreo or 100 Oreos is not enough. I am so much better without sugar and refined grains in my diet. For the first time in my life food does not control me.

    You have to decide what is important to you. Living a long and healthy life is important to me. That is why I focus on what I "get" instead of what I am "giving up".

    Also wearing size 4 Levi's and looking like a girl is a lot more fun than wearing size 16 and looking like a tank!
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    I never say never to any food, it's the feelings of deprivation that make sensible eating so hard for a lot of people, they assume that eating at a caloric deficit means giving up all of their favourite foods...........it doesn't, it just means that you need to exercise portion control and it takes discipline, awareness and effort to succeed.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    I agree with all the others - I've had chocolate and mac n cheese since I've been tracking on MFP. There's no such thing as "never again." Maybe "not as much" but not "never again!"

    ^^THIS. And over time I'm finding I have higher standards for the more calorie-laden stuff. Brownies from a box? No thanks, not worth it. Homemade vanilla ice cream? Yes please!!
  • jmeyer925
    jmeyer925 Posts: 326 Member
    Think of it more as "when is the next time I can have this again?" and then save some for later. Otherwise you'll try and eat a large amount in one sitting and then regret it immediately.

    Aren't those first few bites always the best? Once you've had a few, save some as a side for some other time.

    Keep up the good work!
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
    I don/t think that you can NEVER have those things again. You just have to have them in moderation, as an occasional treat and not as your 'norm'. I think if you tell yourself that you can never have anything again, that you are kind of setting yourself up for failure, because a lot of this whole process is about your attitude, and if you feel like you are being deprived, you are less likely to stick with it
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    First of all why would you think you could never have it again? Everything in moderation and portion control.
  • hipsdontlie1
    hipsdontlie1 Posts: 294 Member
    Portion is key!!! Let yourself have one cheat day a week or whatever you want. keep in within your calorie goal and your good to go! But after awhile of not eating those kinds of things every single day.. the cravings go away! Just try to stay focused on your goals!
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Having those things is perfectly fine, as many people have mentioned. Ideally, having a small portion, or having a larger portion but fitting it into your calories (either by eating light the rest of the day of exercising extra) would be best. But if you have a cheat meal once in a while where you just have what you want, period, that won't completely derail your progress. Some may disagree but I think it depends on the person. Personally, I think it's better to have a cheat meal once a week (or once every other week) than be unsatisfied and end up binging uncontrollably. Also, having a cheat meal might make it easier to pass up temptations other days of the week. I have an easier time saying no to treats at the office on a daily basis if I know that on Friday I'm going to be favorite Italian restaurant and having lasagna!
  • mrsgoodwine
    mrsgoodwine Posts: 468 Member
    There is nothing that I won't ever have again. I eat not so good things occassionally. And that's the ticket. It should be an occassional thing, not an at every meal thing. The days I do have a treat - I tend to work out extra hard. It's extra motivation for me.
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
    NEVER AGAIN will I say "never again!" I don't think about food like that anymore. I make healthier choices, sure, but nothing is "off limits". If I want it, I have it. My brain rebels bigtime when I try to restrict myself too much. That doesn't work for most people. Work in treats within your calories and really ENJOY them--guilt-free!! You don't have to suffer and deprive yourself to lose weight and get in shape.
  • niffer5150
    niffer5150 Posts: 10
    "never again" never works. it's unrealistic. just have less( a lot less in some cases if you look at the nutritional info) and keep in mind that you will have to do extra jogging to run off those calories. jogging an extra hour to burn off that snickers bar isn't so bad but the idea idea of having to run off 2 keeps too much junk food out of my face.
  • karawRN
    karawRN Posts: 311
    MODERATION!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,281 Member
    I still have it. Just not as often and in moderation. Life is meant to be enjoyed....you have to be able to splurge once in awhile.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I would never say, "never again" unless I was allergic to something. Just make whatever you want fit in your macros. ONE piece of cake is good for the soul.
  • spyderfry
    spyderfry Posts: 2
    If you can't trust yourself now, then avoid those foods until you've learned self-control.

    This ^^^
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    I have trouble with "never" as well. Its supposed to be that we think "just for today" or "one day at a time" but when the notion of never enters my mind I binge too. I think it is a discipline we have to build up and that takes support...or so its said. I know that we have to learn to love and forgive ourselves when we stumble so....love and forgive yourself!
  • SMBL2
    SMBL2 Posts: 22 Member
    There's no such thing as "never again." Maybe "not as much" but not "never again!"

    Totally agree!
  • ThorneDust
    ThorneDust Posts: 189 Member
    Yup what everyone else said, I don't believe in "never again". Even big portions, I know I will have again. Just I won't have a huge breakfast, followed by a huge lunch, then a huge dinner. I plan for it and work it into my calories. Even something unplanned, I'll change my day around or maybe the next day around. Work out to compensate or eat less later to compensate. In the end, it all balances out. You can do it!
  • arickim
    arickim Posts: 137
    Take all those foods you don't think you can eat again and make them healthier. sparkpeople.com has some great recipes and many recipes out there on the web.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
    It depends. For some people there is no never again. For others they have to sever all ties with a certain food and treat it like an addiction - the way you would treat stopping drugs/alcohol if it became a problem.

    If you can have it, learn moderation.

    If you can't, learn the mindset that going without is just better for you in the long run. It sucks, but it needs to be done.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I was on the site... Following the guidelines, eating well, exercising regularly, and everything was going well! I was losing! Slowly but surely. But every time I start to think about never having a big plate of mac and cheese or eating a big chunk of chocolate cake or things like that its like I panic. I binge. I tell myself I need to love my self fat and lazy like I am. Now I know I need to love myself but I also need to take care of myself and Its getting hard.

    How do you all deal with the thought of never having it again? I know I could have a little in theory, but I never in my life have had a little. I don't even know what that means. They say the cravings will go away but I still have them. Help me build good habits!

    Stop thinking that. You can have those things, just not every day or maybe even every week.

    I'm following the old WW plan, which means my activity points (exercise calories) can be saved up during the week. I weigh in on Sunday morning and reset my points Sunday night, so I've been planning ahead each week to have a treat on Sunday night. That way, I have the points/calories for it and it won't affect my WI with excess sodium or anything.

    I eat well during the week and then splurge on that one day. Last week, I had a huge sub, a slice of cheesecake with chocolate ganache and a slice of key lime pie. This week, I'm having Indian (and when I have Indian, I HAVE INDIAN! lol).

    So save up some calories each week and treat yourself.

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