Taking things personally.
Options
Replies
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Pick one:
1. Accept that your husband will be honest with you, even if it means sometimes hurting your feelings.
2. Ask him to not talk to you about weight/appearance/etc.
Either choice is fine. Just be honest with yourself about which one you really want.
I'd go with option 3 - your husband loves you enough to be honest with you and showed his concern that you seemed to have been off your plan so he wanted to show some encouragement for you to get back on track.
We're all on here for accountability and support - he was just being supportive and holding you accountable.Take it with the love it was given and tell him thanks for being a great husband0 -
Judging by your photo my guess is he doesn't want you to be any bigger than him. Hate to tell him.....ANYONE is going to be bigger than him.0
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He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
You are gaslighting.0 -
He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
This is even more awesome given your profile pic. :laugh:0 -
He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
This is even more awesome given your profile pic. :laugh:
I am SO reporting that pic. That is against the rules!0 -
I'll say this as nicely as possible.
Quit being such a girl and go workout.
"As nicely as possible" appears to not be nice at all. The words "quit being such a girl" are rarely spoken positively. It is not exclusively girlish to have the OP's reaction to her husband's words; it is also very poor of anyone to assign so much negativity to being a girl (as if having emotions and feelings is somehow bad or wrong).
Thank you for this. I am very gratified to see some of the pervasive misogyny addressed.
Amen!
And I am in the minority, but I think it was a pretty mean/obnoxious thing for him to say. I think you need to let him know how it impacted your confidence.0 -
He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
This is even more awesome given your profile pic. :laugh:
I am SO reporting that pic. That is against the rules!
This is the exact reason I posted it...... because people take the rules too far and forget common sense.0 -
I would hairy eyeball him to death, tell him to "go eff himself", then take his advice and go workout.
And pretend like your super pissed at him till he buys you a present.
I know that makes me terrible but that's pretty much what I would do. I would take his opinion to heart, be glad he motivated me, kill myself working out for a few days, all the while sulking....0 -
I must say, alot of the comments are literally laughable. "He was just being HONEST!"... Umm, Noooo, He was being JUDGEMENTAL, At no point did this young woman state she asked him anything, he was purposely making it a point to point out her flaws. Is he perfect? No, Therefore, he should keep those stones he's throwing to himself.
And to those "honest" comments made by women, If you do not ask your spouse/significant other about what they think of your appearance, & they offer up negative comments anyway, I find it excessively hard to believe that you'd take it as "Constructive" & "him being wonderfully honest with you". & If you do, well, maybe you need some help with your self esteem, if you believe being beaten down verbally ... is a good thing.
To the author of this post, How about a little experiment...
One of these days, walk into the room he is in, & start mentioning how "pudgy" he is getting... & how he ... could look better. Then, mark his reaction, when he becomes offended, Just remind him of his remarks at you, & then ... if you are lucky, he might learn something. ( Pardon me if I doubt it though.)0 -
He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
This is even more awesome given your profile pic. :laugh:
I am SO reporting that pic. That is against the rules!
This is the exact reason I posted it...... because people take the rules too far and forget common sense.
I know this, love.
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You should honestly feel glad that you have a husband that cares. I'd rather have my husband tell me I need to workout than not.
Also, men don't think about how to frame their thoughts the way women do (my husband suffers from foot-in-mouth syndrome sometimes too).
If it bothers you so much, tell him nicely. Don't get offended. If you know he loves you and is committed to a life with you, this is too little a thing to be worked up about. Life is too short to live it with insecurity plaguing you so much. :flowerforyou:0 -
He is clearly inconsiderate and out of touch. The only answer is a divorce. Get a lawyer and take him for everything he has. This is way tooooooo much mental abuse for anyone to take. As it has been pointed out by others, he is a sexist pig! He is just waiting for the chance to brand you and treat you like cattle. You are a STRONG VIBRANT woman. you do not need to take his hateful words sitting down!
Are you fat? Maybe, but he does not have the right to tell you that! The wedding ring does not give him the right to say what he wants to you. From this moment on, he should get on his knees and request permission to speak to you. Further, he should be made to pee sitting down.
They said stop acting like a woman, and I say stop acting like a man! I think you need to stop holding this inside.... you need to TALK! Tell that low life penis owner what a hurtful bag of garbage he is. You do not have hold in the tears..... turn his man cave into a room to honor Hillary Clinton.
Whatever you do, please do NOT walk away thinking you are over reacting.
This is even more awesome given your profile pic. :laugh:
I am SO reporting that pic. That is against the rules!
This is the exact reason I posted it...... because people take the rules too far and forget common sense.
lmao, I love the pic!!!0 -
I wouldn't appreciate the comment. He doesn't have to be the diet police. If it gets out of hand or he sees you wolfing down pizzas, he might mention it only because he knows it's important to you, but that was unnecessary.
But... he's your husband. You should feel ok to talk to him about anything, especially something as small as this. If it's easier to tell a bunch of strangers, that might mean more trouble than the fact that he's a little unnecessarily honest.0 -
Judging by your photo my guess is he doesn't want you to be any bigger than him. Hate to tell him.....ANYONE is going to be bigger than him.
LOL :laugh:0 -
Whine, yawn, whine! If you are serious about wanting to do better...JUST DO IT!0
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Look at it this way. Do you think he was intentionally trying to hurt you? Was he being malicious? No. He was making an observation and gave some feedback in good faith because he cares about you. Was it the right choice of words? Maybe not.. but hes not perfect. But judging from your reaction, neither are you. So just call it even.0
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Yeah... I think your totally valid for feeling crushed on this one. I do agree it's fantastic to be honest and to not sugar coat-- but have some tact.. And what we don't know is the behind the scenes.. How he said it, how he treats you when you do gain or don't look the way he wants etc., I want my husband to always be honest with me, but if he ever tells me to start working out or eating healthy again because I'm not as toned as I was then I'd probably tell him to grow some hair & miracle abs then come talk to me.
Poor sport? maybe. But My husband is the one person I can count on for honesty, but there's ways of doing it, and this was not the right way from your husband.
Chin up. Get your *kitten* back walking/running & get some wholesome clean food in you- You know you feel better eating it and working out- And at the end of the day, you can only do it for YOU! no one else.
Maybe you should request he puts on some weight and muscle... Just a thought
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lol. Exactly what I was thinking!0
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That's still option 1. You simply restated it nicer.
I'd go with option 3 - your husband loves you enough to be honest with you and showed his concern that you seemed to have been off your plan so he wanted to show some encouragement for you to get back on track.Pick one:
1. Accept that your husband will be honest with you, even if it means sometimes hurting your feelings.
2. Ask him to not talk to you about weight/appearance/etc.
Either choice is fine. Just be honest with yourself about which one you really want.0 -
I guess i will have to disagree with some. I dont see why he really had the need to say anything unless you asked him...it was a few weeks.
Do you criticize HIS appearance?
seriously.
Jules:flowerforyou:
I agree with you!!!!!0
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