Cant be motivated, ever.

Hey guys.
I'm such a joke, I can't ever get myself to do this.
Thing is, every time I want to diet I start thinking of how I'll fail and I get really anxious and eat. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I've been waking up and saying I'll go on a diet just about every day of my life.
Yesterday I was supposed to start insanity also but I didn't and I'm kinda glad I didn't because I binged so much.
Also I work 12-7 and my break is towards the end of my work day so it's hard to eat at the right times and whatnot. Any ideas/suport/etc?
Marina
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,455 Member
    Excuses. Sorry, but that's the truth.

    You can make all the excuses you like. The fact is, people who succeed motivate themselves every day of their lives. They make the tough choices, they don't feel sorry for themselves, and they just do it.

    You are the only one who can motivate YOU.
  • ChangeIsADecision
    ChangeIsADecision Posts: 709 Member
    ** WARNING ~ TOUGH LOVE BELOW **

    QUIT MAKING EXCUSES!!! Huny...we could all do that ALL day long. You have to DECIDE to do it.... until you make that switch - you're gonna be doing the same thing!! If you want to lose weight.... DON'T THINK ABOUT IT ...JUST DO IT! It's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies.... it SUCKS sometimes... but you fall off the wagon, get up, dust yourself off and get back on it. We all fall off... eat the wrong things...skip workouts... but the key is you hold yourself accountable (for the most part) for your actions - good or bad! YOU CAN DO THIS... Quit telling yourself ALLLLL the reasons you can't!!!1

    Hope that pep talk helped... and pissed you off enough to do it!

    HUGS! :flowerforyou:
  • abrewer563
    abrewer563 Posts: 122
    You should never consider this a diet, it is a life style change. First and foremost you need to make small changes to your life so that you don't anxious. Try substituting a bag of chips with a handful of almonds or cashews, instead of getting fried/breaded food get grilled, substitute tasty cakes/sweets with fruit. Small changes make a world of difference and they are less intimidating. Try finding a friend to walk with that way they can help with motivation. Get rid of excuses and realize why you want to make the change in the first place.
  • Hi Marina,
    I do the exact same thing except with exercise! Every night before my run I have my shoes on and everything but then I think to myself that I can't do it, get anxious, and consider not going. Sometimes I skip it but I really try to push through. When I'm finished running I think to myself how great it felt to do that and I try to be positive about it. ( I have also had the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred sitting in my dvd player for about a month now with very few plays :) They say practice makes perfect so maybe if you start by following your diet/workout routine for just one whole perfect day and think about how great you feel when you've achieved your goal for the day you can keep going and do the same thing the next day. You can tell yourself, well I did great yesterday, why don't I try to keep it up today? I also work swing shifts and have weird breaks so I understand the trouble with eating. I would suggest a high protein lunch with fibrous veggies that will fill you up and a Luna Protein Bar for a snack if you don't eat a full dinner there. Good luck and keep trying, eventually it will stick! Feel free to add me if you want some support, I'd be happy to help! :)
    --Lauren
  • kzivic
    kzivic Posts: 326 Member
    Agree with the above posters- there are always thousands of excuses why not to do something, don't fall into that trap. Sit down and ask yourself "how badly do I want this"? If this lifestyle change is important enough to you, you'll do whatever it takes to succeed and won't let the excuses get in your way.

    Also, stop thinking about how you're going fail- turn that around and think positive. Think that you can do this. Break things up into small, manageable goals. Focus on getting a few minutes of exercise in each day. Focus on losing those first 5 pounds. By looking at it in smaller pieces, it's not so overwhelming and you won't feel like you're setting yourself up for failure before you start.

    Come on- you got this!!
  • 4newtsmom
    4newtsmom Posts: 29 Member
    I think the majority of us have been in your exact shoes by thinking 'oh tomorrow, I am gonna start this and do SOOO good'. I was there WAY more times than I can even count. I think I was setting myself up for failure.

    I have been at MFP now for a week now, and already had my ups and downs. I have still eaten some wrong things, but I totally recognize them, and am eating more healthier things and just a little of the bad, instead of the opposite.

    When I joined here I didn't just decide that this is it, I am gonna give up all bad, kick *kitten* everyday in working out, and be good forever. Which is how I was thinking before. I changed my mind into saying that EVERY positive change will get me to my goal eventually.

    It has been a week and I have lost 5.5 lbs. Just by watching how much I'm eating. Drinking 8-12 glasses of waters a day, and being more aware of getting up to do things.

    I have more excuses then I can even write on here. 6 kids, run a daycare, and in the middle of getting licensed, always cooking for daycare, and family, and them not wanting to eat all my "healthy stuff", going through a VERY nasty divorce, arguing with my new bf , etc..... like I said I could go on, and on, but they are just excuses. It's all part of life, and I'm sick of having my weight problems piled onto everything else.

    So for me, and everyone else that used to use things things for excuses, it's time to SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP, deal with life's issues instead of trying to eat them away, and start loosing this weight so I can at least be in control of that, and feel good when I look in the mirror...
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Some people need to start small and build on that. Success begets success.

    Have a checklist of 5 things you want to achieve this week such as:

    1) Eat at least one serving of fresh vegetables a day instead of processed food
    2) Eat at least one portion of lean meat a day instead of processed food
    3) Drink one can of soda or less per day
    4) Do 20 minutes of any kind of physical activity per day
    5) Go to bed earlier each day

    As you do them tick them off. At the end of the week feel good with what you have accomplished, maybe even reward yourself.

    Keep setting yourself more challenging goals as the weeks pass.

    Once you have conquered your mind your body will follow.
  • MariFitBody
    MariFitBody Posts: 287 Member
    Sorry but thats just an excuse. If I did and still do it..I dont feel bad for anyone. I get up to workout at 3:40am then I have to get my 3 boys and myself out the door by 650am to get to work and come home @ 6pm to 3 boys and do it all over again...I take pity on no one.
    Get up and get busy. U are ur motivator. What u see in the mirror that u dont like is ur motivator. When u put on a pair of jeans and uhate the way they fit...thats ur motivator. No one else. Good luck.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Excuses. Sorry, but that's the truth.

    You can make all the excuses you like. The fact is, people who succeed motivate themselves every day of their lives. They make the tough choices, they don't feel sorry for themselves, and they just do it.

    You are the only one who can motivate YOU.

    This.
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    Start with smaller goals. Here's a first goal for you: Log every meal on MFP for a week. Don't worry about what you eat just log it.
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
    You have to want it

    YOU ! noone else

    the rest will fall into place
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
    You have already failed........by saying you can't, you are saying that you won't and I really do not think that anyone here will change your mind..............sorry, not what you want to hear, but people can only be "helped" so far.........
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
    Go and have a nice little HEART ATTACK, that will put things into perspective for ya!!!
  • jamk1446
    jamk1446 Posts: 5,577 Member
    Some people need to start small and build on that. Success begets success.

    Have a checklist of 5 things you want to achieve this week such as:

    1) Eat at least one serving of fresh vegetables a day instead of processed food
    2) Eat at least one portion of lean meat a day instead of processed food
    3) Drink one can of soda or less per day
    4) Do 20 minutes of any kind of physical activity per day
    5) Go to bed earlier each day

    As you do them tick them off. At the end of the week feel good with what you have accomplished, maybe even reward yourself.

    Keep setting yourself more challenging goals as the weeks pass.

    Once you have conquered your mind your body will follow.

    This is pretty much what I tell friends and family who feel overwhelmed by changing their health and fitness. But if even doing 5 things at once seems overwhelming, just do one or two. Don't pressure yourself to be perfect. Some people do well jumping in all or nothing, but that approach doesn't work for everyone.
  • Cocochickdeleted
    Cocochickdeleted Posts: 342 Member
    You should never consider this a diet, it is a life style change. First and foremost you need to make small changes to your life so that you don't anxious. Try substituting a bag of chips with a handful of almonds or cashews, instead of getting fried/breaded food get grilled, substitute tasty cakes/sweets with fruit. Small changes make a world of difference and they are less intimidating. Try finding a friend to walk with that way they can help with motivation. Get rid of excuses and realize why you want to make the change in the first place.

    This is what I was going to say. There is a psychological component to dieting, and most diets FAIL, because dieters eventually go back to their old ways, somehow thinking that their results will be different the next time around. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results equals insanity! If you don't make it a lifestyle, you will continue to struggle.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Set small, specific, achievable goals (example - today I will drink 8 glasses of water). Repeat the small change until it feels natural. Small changes add up over time, and you know what? Each small victory will boost your confidence that yes - you CAN do this.

    It can seem totally overwhelming to look at the big picture sometimes. Look at small details - work on those, then add more. The motivation will come from seeing yourself succeed at small things.
  • lrd2010
    lrd2010 Posts: 161 Member
    Well, the eating thing is do-able, you just have to get organised.

    I work crazy shifts at all times of the day and night and the only thing that keeps me on track is having a nice selection of plastic boxes full of calorie counted food ready to go.

    You're the only person that can help you here hun, take it from one who knows, one day you'll feel bad enough that you'll know you have to either change something or deal with feeling crappy forever.

    Don't start with something as harsh as insanity though, I think that would have killed me back at the start. Start slowly, start with logging your food for a month and sticking to a half lb loss calorie count and see how you do.

    It's the small things that add up and lead to improving your mood and your health that will make you want to do more, I promise you!

    Feel better x
  • bsierras
    bsierras Posts: 56
    A lot of great things being said!

    My excuses were always around exercise!! I joined MFP in the beginning of July. I told myself, just do something (as far as exercise) 4 days a week. I began with 20 or 30 minutes of a dvd or zumba on the wii. I love to work out in the mornings because I feel so good through out the day. I have to do it at 4 am. So that is a struggle since I don't go to bed when I should or my baby (she is 14 mos) gets up several times a night. Before, I would just say okay tomorrow is a new day. But now if I don't do it in the morning I make myself do it before I go to bed. The thing that helped me was logging my food and seeing how much the exercise really does help. You have to take each day as it comes, one day at a time.

    As a lot have said, change one thing at a time. Don't do it all at once. It is overwhelming. It is a life style change, not a diet. Choose to make healthier choices and if you don't, it is okay. Change it going forward.

    Feel free to add me as a friend. It is easy, too easy to say tomorrow...do it today!! good luck
  • meowkapow
    meowkapow Posts: 103 Member
    I agree with the posters who suggested to start small. The more small things you accomplish the more momentum and belief in yourself you will have.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    ONE THING I NEVER DO:
    Say to myself that I'm going on a diet... triggers something for failure.
    I just say I'm going to eat better. In my mind I'm never on a diet. :)
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Start with small goals and plan a non-food related reward for every 5 lbs you lose- treat yourself to a movie or manicure or whatever your "thing" is. Also, try not to expect too much of yourself all at once. Instead of worrying about eating at only the right times, exercising 6 days a week, drinking 10 glasses of water a day etc....try just replacing some unhealthy foods with healthier options, try working out just 3 or 4 days a week, even if it's just a 15-minute walk, if you drink NO water try starting to drink just a few glasses, etc. Any positive change you make matters- you don't have to try to do a 180 turn overnight.

    Also, when my motivation is low or I feel like I "can't" do it, I browse the Success Stories forum and look at Before/After pics. If they can do it, so I can I, and so can you.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    I think you will be much happier if you accept who you are and how much extra fat you carry around everyday.

    This idea to psych yourself into thinking you will diet for the rest of your life is bringing you more stress and adding more pounds to your body.

    Once you accept yourself, then focus on just eating for the sake of being healthy.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    Stop dieting. And why the hell are you diving into Insanity? Unless you're accustomed to hard exercise (and I'm guessing you're probably not), it's just asking to fail. Your all or nothing thinking in general is setting you up to fail and fail hard, as you've seen. Guide your fitness journey using one guiding principle: sustainability. If you're a chocolate addict and you eat 5 candy bars every day, suddenly swearing off chocolate and saying you can never have it again is just going to make you more inclined to scarf it in unreasonable quantities (NOTE: This observation comes from a chocolate addict, though not as extreme as 5 bars a day). Therefore, it's not SUSTAINABLE. You have to ease into such drastic lifestyle changes. I could give concrete suggestions on how to take a more gradual approach to this, but the folks on here already have. Good ones.

    What baby steps can you take TODAY that you can live with to make a healthier you?
  • amymichelle1226
    amymichelle1226 Posts: 150 Member
    I've been there....but then once you start doing it you ask yourself why you struggled so much! Just start logging....it took me a few days to log every meal but just start even if you don't get it all logged the first couple of days, you will. And I don't enjoy exercising much but you've got to move. Start this weekend! Need a shower tomorrow morning? Walk 20 minutes first. Just do something, and it get's easier and easier, I promise! In a couple weeks you could already be down a few pounds! My first two weeks, I lost 4 pounds. I've lost 13 pounds in 10 weeks! The only exercise I did this week was walk a mile and a half, took a zumba class and did 20 minutes of the 30 day shred. I've eaten Chipotle this week and I STILL lost 2 pounds this week. YOU CAN DO THIS. It's not so scary, just start. If you are good one meal and mess up the next, it's not over. Try again the next meal, eventually you'll get there.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    It can be huge and intimidating, and as someone with anxiety problems myself I know how hard it can be to set a goal 8 months in the future and wonder if I can reach it. Maybe I can't. I can't really decide with any certainty what I can do 8 months from now.

    But I can decide what I can do today. I can eat well today. I can exercise today. I can make good choices today.

    Make that your mantra; "I can do this today." Focus on today. It's hard to argue yourself out of "you will eventually fail" when you have absolutely no knowledge of what might come up in the future. But it's easy to succeed today.

    Forget about yesterday. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about a year from now. All that matters is what you do today.

    For the record, I started seriously trying to lose weight roughly 700 todays ago now and I have been on MFP for 95 of them. Some todays I fail. Some todays I succeed. Some todays I just do okay. But over those todays, I have shed about 150 lbs and completely changed my life.

    You can get through today. I know you can.
  • peggylicious
    peggylicious Posts: 22 Member
    Everyone else has already said it a lot better than I can, but I just want to add that I have felt like you do, most of my life. I know I can lose weight because I've done it before, but it's always gone back on because it seems easier to not be on a diet than to be on one.

    btw, I have just got my big old butt into gear this week, 3 days of eating healthier, I don't feel that I'm dieting just making better choices, I've cycled and been swimming and I already feel better, less grumpy and I seem to have oodles more energy already :-)

    You don't want to get to my age and find that you're still making the same old excuses - go on, just do it, it'll be worth it.
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
    i did the same thing for many many months...it was always tomorrow but tomorrow came and it was always tomorrow....finally one day i just did it...it was weird came right out of blue but one day a year and half ago i started and tomorrow really was the begginning and i havent looked back since
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    You do know that by signing up here you have already made a huge step over all the people I have talked to who say it sounds like too much trouble. Logging in your regular food choices becomes second nature whenever you check your computer and you can see what you did right and wrong over the day. Don't think DIET. That triggers the deprivation/anxiety response in your brain. I'm a big believer in brain chemistry being the main culprit in sabotaging weight loss. When insulin levels are spiking you think emotionally and cravings are stronger. You need to outsmart your brain telling you eating the wrong foods/too much food is a good idea.

    Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to become superwoman to work out and change all the foods you enjoy. Start out with what feels right for now. Walking 10 min., eating half of what you normally put on your plate and pad out the portion with veggies or fruit. Your motivation will begin when you start seeing results! You are 21 and can define the adult you choose to be for the rest of your life. That includes wanting to take good care of yourself. You deserve it!
  • stephbloomer
    stephbloomer Posts: 1 Member
    I had the same problem and thought I had an eating disorder. I talked to my doctor about it and she said that the eating was a coping mechanism for depression. I finally confronted the problem I knew I had for at least four years. So I started taking an anti depressant and seeing a therapist. It has helped me so much. The most important thing I've learned in counseling was to stop having anxiety over the future and start thinking about what I can do at this very moment. What needs to be done right now? Sometimes I have to focus on the present just to simply take a shower, do the dishes, take care of my children. When I started doing that I stopped getting anxiety over things out of my control and was less inclined to binge eat. Now my house is cleaner, I'm taking better care of my self and have a higher self esteem. This makes it easier for me to treat my body with more respect. I still have a ways to go, but I've gone from putting on pounds to shedding pounds. I hope you are able to find your motivation or to find the courage to seek help if you need it. God Bless.
  • carrieo888
    carrieo888 Posts: 233 Member
    Some people need to start small and build on that. Success begets success.

    Have a checklist of 5 things you want to achieve this week such as:

    1) Eat at least one serving of fresh vegetables a day instead of processed food
    2) Eat at least one portion of lean meat a day instead of processed food
    3) Drink one can of soda or less per day
    4) Do 20 minutes of any kind of physical activity per day
    5) Go to bed earlier each day

    As you do them tick them off. At the end of the week feel good with what you have accomplished, maybe even reward yourself.

    Keep setting yourself more challenging goals as the weeks pass.

    Once you have conquered your mind your body will follow.

    THIS THIS THIS!!!
    Quit trying to go on a diet. Make small sustainable changes (the one's above are fantastic!) and build from there.
    Oh, and replace the word "can't" with "I choose not to." You will be surprised at how making yourself accountable for your choices motivates you to make better choices.