Fat,ugly and embarresing

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  • KFJOI4JWGOJM
    KFJOI4JWGOJM Posts: 33
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    I have alot to lose as well. I have a hubby and 4 kid's. I also know what it's like being teased for being the heavy girl. I have been in your shoes. I know and can relate to how you feel. Try and remember the positive. Don't always beat yourself up for things. Hang in there and just take it day by day. You ARE worth it! It's a hard road but you CAN do it. This is a GREAT site and it's full of wonderful supportive people to help you along the way. I sent you a friend request.
  • bebop57
    bebop57 Posts: 7
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    I think this is a great post honestly. I think many of us feel that way or did in the beginning of our journey. I am pretty new to losing too and feel this way and I don't know an overweight woman that doesn't or didn't feel that way. if you want send me a friend request and let's all do this journey together. with lots of love and understanding. I am glad to be a part of this community!


    I don't know how to change my ticker but I have lost 20lbs so far.
  • jayzenner
    jayzenner Posts: 2 Member
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    Hey, it's a long journey but start imagining yourself, slim, beautiful and proud. It's the greatest motivator. And as a bonus add "healthy." Good luck
  • KarenBoehlke
    KarenBoehlke Posts: 47
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    Baby, you are big and BEAUTIFUL not fat and ugly.

    The big part is most likely more embarassing to you than your family. They know how beautiful you are, trust them on this one. Your husband would not have held onto you so long if he didn't love the real you. Don't push him away, men like that are hard to find.

    I've always had to fight the battle of the bulge myself. So I know your pain and am just starting to learn to love the me inside and am on a journey to get to my prepregnancy weight (which was still overweight, but it's a start right?). When you come to peace with yourself and get down to the business of dropping and toning you will realize what your hubby and kids have known all along. Your terrific.
  • debjae
    debjae Posts: 242
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    First you need to get rid of FAT and UGLY. You can do this. :wink:
  • RonniBharadwaj
    RonniBharadwaj Posts: 1
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    Cheer up...you have support at home which is better than most people. If I were you I would consider setting a realistic goal...aim for losing a pound a week and stick to it. Setting very lofty goals will likely lead to frustration and a sense of disappointment if you can't keep it up. Track your food intake here, start exercising and make healthier choices in terms of trying to enjoy some of the same food tastes but substituting to lower calorie/fat/sodium/sugar options. It's tough, that's why everyone is here, but in the end you'll feel good about yourself as you start seeing progress. Not sure if that is over-simplifying things....but really you probably don't need much more support as it sounds like you have motivation enough. Use those negative feelings by changing them around to become will power to change. Everyone can do it....and if you fall short a little...go download a season of the biggest loser and watch it for extra motivation. Good luck.
  • kimmireads
    kimmireads Posts: 66 Member
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    Friend request sent...

    Ditto!
  • katie81smith
    katie81smith Posts: 40 Member
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    Dear F, U and E (which you are not),

    First, don't call yourself FAT and UGLY.
    OK, you have weight to lose. It's not the end of the world, and there are lots of people out there who are in good relationships, have great jobs, are educated, etc, and are on the heavy side.

    Second, get on a program.
    MFP is a great start, and you need a good diet that appeals to you, and will work with your lifestyle and budget. Log EVERYTHING you eat or drink. Start now. It is completely enlightening.
    This will include some type of exercise. Again, do something physical that appeals to you, and you can do every day with minimum anguish and pain. It gets better, really! You get into it, and see the benefits almost immediately.

    Third, get some support -
    your doctor, Weight Watchers, a health coach, friends, family, etc., a whole group of supportive, kind and encouraging people around you. There will be a few jerks, but that is their problem, and this does not have to derail you. Focus on the positive.

    Fourth, and I mean this with love and kindness:
    stop feeling sorry for yourself and do what you need to do. Do it every day, do it for life, do it for love.

    All the best, LeeAnn

    47 years married, started MFP in March, 2012 with 138 lbs to lose. Doing great, my journey is a joy most days, and I am getting there, by following the advice above. I learned this stuff from my MFP peeps, and reading. There are tons of very inspiring informational books on this subject that have been very helpful to me.


    LeeAnn,
    I just need to tell you that your story has brought tears to my eyes. I feel the exact same way she feels and the inspiration that you just gave me has brought me to tears. Thank You.
  • pixish
    pixish Posts: 79 Member
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    Good luck on your journey :)

    I think that when you're feeling down about yourself, it's very easy to project what you're feeling onto other people (So you feel embarassed by your size, and you assume that your husband & children must feel this way too) I also think that once you realise that you might be doing this, it gets easier to dismiss those thoughts as you realise it's just your mind being negative and wanting to dwell on the bad things.

    MFP is GREAT, because you can keep track of everything you eat, and the exercise you do so easily and you are just more aware of everything that you're putting into your body. I actually find it kind of fun, trying to figure out meal plans that are still tasty and satisfying, but fit into my calorie goal (It's kind of like a jigsaw puzzle)

    Also, please - PLEASE do not discount the support and love of your husband! He and the kids can be there and be your major supporters. You know when you've had a bad day, and you probably want to get into some food that you really shouldn't - you can tell your partner and you can have cuddles, or a cup of tea together or something like that. Also, they might benefit from eating better too? I think it gets very hard when you're trying to get healthier but only changing what you eat. I do this with my partner, we eat almost the same but because he is a tall & built kind of guy, I'll give him extra food, or give him some bread or potato with his meal. He also likes cheese on his spaghetti and that sort of thing, whereas I'll go without :P So it is easy to compromise on those sorts of things too.

    Working out your meal plans will give you confidence and power within yourself too. I find that because I have the knowledge of which foods I can have for lunch and breakfast - I am able to make better choices about what to eat, especially on t hose days where you just don't feel like making decisions or cooking. (Sandwiches and low calorie cup-a-soups are two of my go-to meals for example!)
  • leonghk12
    leonghk12 Posts: 6
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    U took the first step to join this community, that's definitely a great start! If u ever need any help like workout tips or nutrition, I'll be glad to help :)
  • AnneC77
    AnneC77 Posts: 284
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    I know how you feel OP. I felt a little like you about 7 weeks ago now. I have a wife who says the same things as your husband, but I shake my head and wonder how she can see the beauty in me when all I can see is rolls of flab, stretch marks and bingo wings. But since my journey here, I am starting to see a new me and not just physically. I am stronger and more determined than I ever thought possible. I have lost 10 pounds, my arms are toning up, I have muscles in my legs that are showing through the fat and I am losing inches. I am starting to like myself, I see the smile on the smaller face creeping back, my eyes are starting to shine again, I smile when I am wiping dripping sweat off my face because I just ran on the treadmill. My kids are learning by example and are starting to make healthier food choices, my wife joined me and has lost 6 pounds and I think to myself...I did that and it is a good feeling. Emotionally and physically, I am a better person and that feeling of pride is amazing. You can do tis, we all know you can xxx
  • RedHeadHotMama
    RedHeadHotMama Posts: 50 Member
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    I was you almost 2 years ago. Husbands just don't get it. But honey you are beautiful or your hubby would not have fallen in love with you. You can do this. Let's get you feeling like the person you are. Outside as well as in. Sent you a request. :-)
  • shoneybabes
    shoneybabes Posts: 199 Member
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    Look around you. There are plenty of men with overweight wives who have great marriages! Don't make unfounded assumptions.

    So true, and a high percentage of men don't judge women by their bodies (there are a few but ignore them) just remember they are lucky to have you!!!

    Women as a race are the worst critics of other women.

    You are your own worst enemy, there is nothing anyone else can say that you haven't thought or felt at one point. It is about a whole new mentality. Change your mental attitude and you have by coming onto MFP so all I can say is good luck and enjoy the new lifestyle you are creating and I hope your self esteem comes in leaps and bounds

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