No one is supportive!

2

Replies

  • mwilke
    mwilke Posts: 378 Member
    My husband didn't get on board until he saw the changes that my body was going thru, and that what I was doing was indeed working. That motivated him to get moving and start eating healthier. Don't get me wrong... he still sees that I have cheat days/ meals and that I don't always eat the cleanest, but he also sees me get up early and work out. He knows that I am working for the results. But it does make it easier that he is trying to be healthier, too.
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    My mother is diabetic, I got her a great diabetic magazine (Diabetic Cooking) and even my dad loves the meals and desserts that come out of it. He never complains at what she cooks.

    I would really look into something like this, you won't change the way he eats overnight, going from pizza and cheesecake to 3 bean casserole and flaxseed brownies is going to lead to massive resistance.

    But if you are making grilled chicken, with homemade fruit salsa is going to be delicious and not going to seem as though it's a drastic change.

    Sorry nobody at home is supportive, but you cannot force someone into changes they don't want.
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.

    If she's none the wiser who is it hurting? I went away on vacation and forgot to pack up my fruits that I had just bought, I told my dad to go by and get them to eat them so they didn't go to waste, he didn't and I was pissed, he said I didn't want them, he said would it have been better if I went and got them and threw them away, I said yes, then I wouldn't know that the money went to waste. If the friend doesn't know that the food wasn't eaten, who cares.
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    Yes we are here to support you! No worries. Because you are leading by example, the will eventually follow suit (well at least if they know what's good for them.lol) Health is the fountain of youth :flowerforyou:
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
    Correct. It is rude as heck. But, this is my life. I want to keep it going for a long long time. I think for them to bring their diabetes, high blood pressure, life shortening crap into my space is rude too. It is all how you look at it.

    I want them to live long healthy lives too. If they don't want it, they can do it in the many hours they aren't here.

    I really have a problem taking about my need for weightloss. Or even opening the door to them talking me out of it.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    My hubby and kids and friends all seem like they don't want me to get healthy...I think they don't like the healthier foods I'm making and I just don't have a clue what's wrong with my husband. He has diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and continues to eat all the wrong things and refuses to exercise.I know he works hard at work and it's a physically demanding job but it's not exercise He will eventually die from this if he doesn't change..Much of our lives has revolved around food but it's time to change and it seems no one is on board except me. And the harder I try, the more everyone tries to get me to eat!!! My husband has actually brought home cheesecake (2!) when I was doing this last time. Or he will buy a gyros( my favorite but horrible) Maybe everyone misses the things we did that revolved around food but change is good. I don't know, at least I can get some support here :(

    My husband has CHF and is around 400 lbs, he needs to lose to and tells me all the time he needs to do my diet, but he doesn't. This disease will kill him sooner rather than later and he's one of the reasons I started on this journey hoping he'd see it and do it too. And like your husband he's brought home cheesecake (a whole cheesecake) and he knows how much I love cheesecake, but I never touched it and he's never brought home another one. We have similar tastes cause I adore Gyro's also. I just have a couple pieces of the meat and move on. And that actually statifies my taste buds for it. I let him do his own thing. He's grown and can decide for himself, but since I don't cook his food he does it all. I don't ask him to eat my food so he can't complain and now he just smiles at me when his friends makes comments on what I've lost. He's proud of me. And he says it often. I just hope he'll start his own lifestyle change soon. But he has to want to.
  • Sometimes you have to be the example. If it comes down to it, buy your own foods and separate them from your family's. Yeah, it will be tough, but if you're serious about this, it will work out. Not everyone will be on board but I think you should respect their decisions as well. I mean, think about it, at one time you allowed this behavior, and you participated in it. Old habits die hard and some don't die at all.

    I think once they see PHYSICAL changes in you, they will either jump on board, or they won't. That's just something you'll have to live with. I'm sad about your husband, and how he's not getting it. I know you're worried, you don't want him to die, etc. However, if he's not ready, he's not going to change at all. Perhaps you can take him on a life changing trip to a hospital, or look up some scared straight places that show people what happens when you don't take care of your body. I'm sure he doesn't want his limbs cut off so he can't work! Diabetes is no joke but you can't force him to change. Be the example.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
    Correct. It is rude as heck. But, this is my life. I want to keep it going for a long long time. I think for them to bring their diabetes, high blood pressure, life shortening crap into my space is rude too. It is all how you look at it.

    I want them to live long healthy lives too. If they don't want it, they can do it in the many hours they aren't here.

    I really have a problem taking about my need for weightloss. Or even opening the door to them talking me out of it.

    So just tell them that you'd rather they not bring the foods you don't have in the house, or have them take the food away with them so they can enjoy their diabetes etc. The waste of food and money to just bin it doesn't sit well with me. It's just the way I am.
  • rachael52
    rachael52 Posts: 86 Member
    There are so many good suggestions already posted.

    My husband is overweight but not obese and has high blood pressure and triglycerides. He watches me log my food diary, seems pleased that I've lost about 9 pounds, but doesn't want to do MFP or count calories at all. I showed him how to calculate his BMI etc. and he saw that he's supposed to be about 10 pounds thinner (in my opinion, 15). He feels exercise will do it, but it really isn't enough.

    So, here I live with someone who is not undermining my efforts for myself, but doesn't seem to be working on his own body/health. There's just so much one can do to affect another person's behavior.

    I'm doing this for me, so I'll keep doing it. I do the shopping so he doesn't bring home pies and other fattening things. Due to our schedules, I cook most of the time (vegetarian) and he likes making stir fries on the weekend in the wok, so that works fine (I told him no more than a tablespoon of oil). Over the last couple of years he's lost his doublechin and looks much better and some day I hope he'll lose a few more pounds.

    So, to the original poster I'd say, focus on YOU, set an example, try to control the food that enters the house and the way food is cooked, if you can, and begrudgingly your family will start to eat better. (except when they go out to lunch for a gyro or cheesecake).
    Keep writing and checking in. Good luck!
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.

    probably just hard to change habits. My suggestion instead of throwing it away be sure to send it back home with her/them saying a polite thank you but you prefer not to keep that in the house because your working on changeing your eating habits. Why can't they bring what they like to snack on with their coffee
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    I know for me, being the husband, I've watched my wife go from fad diet to fad diet and fleeting moments of exercise. I told her when she started something that was sustainable, real food and real exercise and kept it up as though she was serious, then I would be onboard. Well, she finally did, and she was doing it for herself and without "needing" my help, and when I realized she was serious this time, I jumped in with both feet.

    Personally, my weight has never really bothered me enough to do anything about it. I didn't stay up nights crying because I was fat, and I never let my weight stop me from doing anything. It wasn't as important to me to lose the weight, however, now it is. Now I know I can't stop because I'm doing this to help myself (and I'm actually enjoying it) and to help my wife. She has already stuck with it longer than she has before and she's making real progress.

    So, I would say just truck on. Do your thing, keep up with it, make progress for you and eventually the family will most likely join in when they realize you're serious enough to see this to the end, no matter what.

    I can honestly say, if it wasn't for my wife making a serious effort to lose weight the right way, and for having some dedication to stick to her guns, then I wouldn't be down the 18 pounds I am now. And I know I have plenty more to go, and I'm eager to make that journey. I'm eating real food, and enjoying my exercise. I have a desire to run at some point...which has NEVER entered my mind before. I also have the Warrior Dash 5K planned for May...me...in a race...with like running and stuff....whodathunkit? I have my wife to thank for this!
  • MustangCindy67
    MustangCindy67 Posts: 91 Member
    I have been where you are now. I did have a blow up of sorts and told my husband if he didnt want to improve his health that was one thing but ENOUGH was enough! I accepted that I was doing this for me not anyone else. I demanded respect and got it!!!! It wasnt easy but worth it in the end. My husband has had 3 heart attacks and now has a stent. Slowly he is getting on board he even hiked a mountain with me...twice...:) I started doing my own thing and he joined so we could spend time together. Junk is still in the house but not as much. I wish you the best but please do this for you. family should be supportive not enable you esp when you ask them not to.... You deserve respect from all family members and mostly respect yourself and do it for you...find your place of self control ...it wont be easy but you decide...you deserve to feel great and be happy......
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    When my friends or family bring over cakes and sweets I hand it to them as they leave and explain they might as well take it home with them because no one in our house eats that stuff. My husband is hypoglycemic, our DD doesn't eat sweets period and our son might occasionally eat 1 cookie. They always try to say oh no please I can't take that home it will just go to my thighs. I tell them well it will just go bad here or into the trash so please take it with you. After a couple of times they quit bringing over the junk. We've always been that way with sweets here. My DH's biggest down fall is chocolate and big movie theater size boxes of mike n ikes. With his hypoglycemia that spells disaster. I won't buy it but if he wants to make himself sick and eat that stuff on his own I'm not going to lecture him about it either.
  • rachael52
    rachael52 Posts: 86 Member
    I know for me, being the husband, I've watched my wife go from fad diet to fad diet and fleeting moments of exercise. I told her when she started something that was sustainable, real food and real exercise and kept it up as though she was serious, then I would be onboard. Well, she finally did, and she was doing it for herself and without "needing" my help, and when I realized she was serious this time, I jumped in with both feet.

    Personally, my weight has never really bothered me enough to do anything about it. I didn't stay up nights crying because I was fat, and I never let my weight stop me from doing anything. It wasn't as important to me to lose the weight, however, now it is. Now I know I can't stop because I'm doing this to help myself (and I'm actually enjoying it) and to help my wife. She has already stuck with it longer than she has before and she's making real progress.

    So, I would say just truck on. Do your thing, keep up with it, make progress for you and eventually the family will most likely join in when they realize you're serious enough to see this to the end, no matter what.

    I can honestly say, if it wasn't for my wife making a serious effort to lose weight the right way, and for having some dedication to stick to her guns, then I wouldn't be down the 18 pounds I am now. And I know I have plenty more to go, and I'm eager to make that journey. I'm eating real food, and enjoying my exercise. I have a desire to run at some point...which has NEVER entered my mind before. I also have the Warrior Dash 5K planned for May...me...in a race...with like running and stuff....whodathunkit? I have my wife to thank for this!

    This is such an inspiring, heartening post, it's exactly what I needed to read this a.m. It's such a great example of how one person can start by taking care of themselves and have a positive influence on those around them. I really commend you (and her). Thank you so much for sharing your story!
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
    Correct. It is rude as heck. But, this is my life. I want to keep it going for a long long time. I think for them to bring their diabetes, high blood pressure, life shortening crap into my space is rude too. It is all how you look at it.

    I want them to live long healthy lives too. If they don't want it, they can do it in the many hours they aren't here.

    I really have a problem taking about my need for weightloss. Or even opening the door to them talking me out of it.

    So just tell them that you'd rather they not bring the foods you don't have in the house, or have them take the food away with them so they can enjoy their diabetes etc. The waste of food and money to just bin it doesn't sit well with me. It's just the way I am.
    I really understand your position. And respect it. But, I want them to be able to have their cookie with their coffee. Especially friends, whose choices are none of my business. They are very kind people and they see my big booty and think they are being so kind to bring me these things. It hurts me very much to say I do not want their offerings. It is in my control to not keep it once they leave.

    Through numerous attempts at this weight loss thing I have found that the lack of support from my friends and family is my downfall. This time I promised myself I wouldn't draw any attention to it. I would do my thing, keep my house full of clean food. And dispose of anything I don't need. I hate thinking it is rude. But, it is the way I need it to be for my good health. So rude it will have to be for a while.

    Hopefully later, when I am stronger in my resolve, I will have the conversation with them. For now, in the disposal it goes. Nobody but you all know. Thank goodness I have you all to tell. :)
  • camelgirlmn
    camelgirlmn Posts: 226 Member
    My hubby and kids and friends all seem like they don't want me to get healthy...I think they don't like the healthier foods I'm making and I just don't have a clue what's wrong with my husband. He has diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and continues to eat all the wrong things and refuses to exercise.I know he works hard at work and it's a physically demanding job but it's not exercise He will eventually die from this if he doesn't change..Much of our lives has revolved around food but it's time to change and it seems no one is on board except me. And the harder I try, the more everyone tries to get me to eat!!! My husband has actually brought home cheesecake (2!) when I was doing this last time. Or he will buy a gyros( my favorite but horrible) Maybe everyone misses the things we did that revolved around food but change is good. I don't know, at least I can get some support here :(


    What I feel is that we cant give up the foods we love. If we do we will end up binge eating. SO eat it in moderation. You cant force someone to change their habits, you can only change yours, hopefully he will see how well your doing and want to change his as well. Continue to make healthy foods and he will have no choice but to eat healthy
  • Frenchyken89
    Frenchyken89 Posts: 33 Member
    My wife feels like it is up to me only, she does not think her being supportive or not should make a difference. Her feeling is that if I want it bad enough i will do it for myself. I agree to an extent but I do feel a supportive wife or family member makes a big differnce on those tough days.

    My husband is this exact same way. He doesn't feel that how he eats should effect me. But it does when he takes me to fast food because it's easier and more convenient-but then tells me to get a salad. Or makes pancakes and says I should only have 2. I guess in a way he's trying-but still.
  • You can always find support in us, remember that! Also, I think maybe your husband may just be resistant to change as a lot people are. Change is something hard to do...and for some people they take it personally. You kids obviously will follow by example. If it helps, try healthy recipes like chili's or even pastas that you can mask as healthy for you kids and they won't feel like they're being pushed. But keep at it, you can be their inspiration! :D

    Completely agree. It's really hard to get people to want to change, because they have to admit there is a problem first. I know that is the hardest part to do!

    Have you tried sitting down with him and having a conversation about why you're trying to make these changes in your life? I had to do that with a friend of mine. It was hard to do, but it worked. I would hope that he'd understand that you're trying to improve your life, along with the life of your family!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    True story. A female friend of mine purposely went out and got a great insurance policy and showed it her husband and asked him to sign it in front of the kids. He asked "why do I need a new policy?" She stated "Because the way you're going, I'm gonna need some money to help me and kids survive once you're gone."
    Then she said to the kids "Don't leave, I need you to sign one too.":laugh:

    A week later, I'm training the whole family and as a whole they all lost a good amount of weight and became very active. This was about 4 years ago at my gym in VA.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • tuppance
    tuppance Posts: 132 Member
    My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.

    My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.

    Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.

    I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.

    And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.

    I can see where this poster is coming from but would find it hard to actually trash stuff, though thinking about it - maybe I could 'trip' and things go in the bin?
  • schicksa
    schicksa Posts: 123 Member
    Don't forget you can always find support here. It might also help to connect with a group at work or at the gym who is also in to eating healthy; that way you have someone that you can turn to for support! Unfortunately you can't force your husband to do it with you; he's an adult. But you can find ways to focus on yourself and your own health, so that he doesn't sabotage your good habits.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Ultimately, you are the only one in charge of your body... And your body is the only one you're directly in charge of.

    It sucks and I'm really sorry you don't have support at home, but it means willpower will have to be very strong. And you will have to tune them out as much as possible. In time, perhaps they will come around when they see the positive changes you have made. It's sometimes very difficult (for people you're close to) to accept that you are changing. They love you the way you are. Still, you should have the freedom to make changes and be the person YOU want to be, and I think that a lot of this freedom, for you, will come from separating yourself from the rest of your family in terms of what you eat. And mentally, allow their words of "go on, you can eat the gyro!" turn into white noise that doesn't influence your decisions
  • woodsygirl
    woodsygirl Posts: 354 Member
    Ignore the naysayers and do it for yourself and your kids. Your kids will develop their habits by watching you, how do you want them to grow up? The best thing you can do for your kids is take care of yourself ;)
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    It's not your husband or kids responsibility to get you healthy, that's all up to YOU! So he brings home cheesecake? Plan a small piece into your day if you really like it. If not, tell him thanks but no thanks, I don't want that right now.

    My husband doesn't have a weight problem and I don't expect him to diet with me. I cook one dinner but add more to his--potatoes, stuffing, dessert, etc. I eat what I want and lose weight, everyone's happy.

    Stop expecting your family to be on your diet. It's not about them, it's about you. Take control of what goes in your mouth and stop blaming others.

    This is how I have to do it. My OH is thin thin thin. I can't even so much as bring 'diet' food in the house without him having a fit - which is fine. That just means I have to learn to eat less regular food instead of tricking myself thinking I can eat more because its 'low cal'. I cook the same things as I have always cooked and just eat less of them or make small changes to the recipes to make them a little better, I give him all the potato and rice and just eat the veggies.If he brings food in the house (he loves his coke and natcho chips) I have to learn to ignore it or plan to eat it.

    It's not like we're all going to be able to avoid bad foods everywhere we go - unless you plan to stay in the house forever and be hermits - at some point we all will have to deal with making choices regarding what to eat. I'd rather learn right from the beginning instead of panicking every time I go out or someone brings sweets over.
  • Have you tried having some sort of movie night, or something like that.. but instead of buttery popcorn switch it out with kettle corn, or something w/o salt and butter.. and then try replacing the soda in the fridge with flavored waters.. or even diet. You can be sneaky and start replacing random things with fat free/ low cal versions ;D Like the dressings you might use! If they start to not notice then start bringing in slight bigger changes! =)

    Good luck!
  • deanna_bond
    deanna_bond Posts: 104 Member
    This happens a lot to everyone. I have a friends who Is a size -0 and when I try to be healthy she tried to eat twinkies , cake and fast food in front of me and says oh i never gain a pound i get skinner i have to stop working out . I HATE HER. I just remind her that I dont pop diet pill like she does. They are the ones that make you hot and you sweat and I swear she said she has shakes cause she also tops it with crystal light (aspertame nightmare) energy. just try to keep going and when the see results they either join or go away you cant force them to join.
  • sherrylgardner
    sherrylgardner Posts: 5 Member
    Well Said!!!!
  • jiva57
    jiva57 Posts: 21 Member
    What a great post on how to take control of your own life. :flowerforyou:
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    My hubby and kids and friends all seem like they don't want me to get healthy...I think they don't like the healthier foods I'm making and I just don't have a clue what's wrong with my husband. He has diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and continues to eat all the wrong things and refuses to exercise.I know he works hard at work and it's a physically demanding job but it's not exercise He will eventually die from this if he doesn't change..Much of our lives has revolved around food but it's time to change and it seems no one is on board except me. And the harder I try, the more everyone tries to get me to eat!!! My husband has actually brought home cheesecake (2!) when I was doing this last time. Or he will buy a gyros( my favorite but horrible) Maybe everyone misses the things we did that revolved around food but change is good. I don't know, at least I can get some support here :(

    You weren't ready to do it until you were ready to do it. Just because you are now ready doesn't mean they are. You do them no favors by trying to force a change they are not ready for on them. Would that have worked for you in the past? If they don't like the healthier foods you are preparing, invite their feedback, but don't change what you are doing for you. If they want other foods they should get them for themselves. If your children are minors, they don't have much say. You might try gradual changes with them, that don't seem so drastic. But the point is, just because you have reached your turnaround point doesn't mean they have.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I'm sure it is partly envy. You're trying to live a healthier life and they view it as a reproach. As it's your family, you should try to talk to them (again) or educate them, or maybe schedule something like a family health counseling therapy session but you've got to take care of yourself.

    You're not imaging the burden of the negativity. But are you really going to cave in and deny yourself the rewards of feeling healthier and looking better because some people are unenlightened or stubborn?