Part way there - still embarrassed but w/ a pic

gerripho
gerripho Posts: 479 Member
Okay, okay, okay already! I’ve had the pics that follow for just over a week and have been hesitant to post them here. Why? Because I was, and am, totally embarrassed! That’s why!

A couple of friends have encouraged me to share them here. The kicker came when one told me that if I wouldn’t share my pics just because I am embarrassed, then I have no right to look at anyone else’s pics. She said that if I get motivation and inspiration from others willing to share their pictures, then I’m being selfish not to share mine. A good friend will kick you in the butt when you need it most and she is a very good friend indeed!

I didn’t know until last week the “before” picture even existed. I thought everyone knew better than to take a picture of me. My before pic was taken at a family get together. It was easy to crop out just me because, as usual, I was standing apart from the rest of the family to avoid being caught in any of the pictures. On the occasions when I could not avoid being in a picture I hid behind others and peeked out from my hiding place. It was a miserable way to live. Needless to say, I dreaded holidays.

I was naturally thin as a youngster and teen and even into my 20s and 30s. From about 40 on I gradually gained. When I got up to 230 I dieted myself back to 185 – not good, but better than 230. That weight loss was fairly easy and I gave myself permission to eat whatever since I could always loose it again. Well, I ate myself back up to 220 or so and stayed there. Being 5’10”, 220 is obese but not grossly so. That’s what I told myself anyway.

Almost 10 years ago I moved half way across the country and took a job that turned out to be more stressful and frustrating than anything I had ever experienced. Being well into my 50s at the time I decided to stick it out until retirement. I coped by using food and, quite frankly, way too much wine. Next thing I knew I was 265 lbs. with hypertension and pre-diabetic! Okay, now I’m awake!

A friend and I decided to diet together and she introduced me to another diet and weight loss site. A quite marvelous person I was watching on that site told me about MFP and here I am. Let me say right now, you all are pretty terrific people and I love MFP.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you myself, at 265 (How could I have eaten myself into that condition?), and at 217 last week.

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Replies

  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    You're doing awesome!! Congrats on your success!
  • RunsForFood
    RunsForFood Posts: 110 Member
    You are doing great!! You shouldn't be embarrassed, you can totally tell your hard work is paying off. Great job!!
  • You look great. Keep it up, your doing this for yourself, so aknowledge your positive steps in the right direction. Some steps may be small but at least we are going in the right direction. Congrats.
  • You can really see a difference especially in your face! Way to go!!
  • Great job!! Clearly you have been working your buns off!! Pun intended:wink:
  • rainlover711
    rainlover711 Posts: 74 Member
    You look wonderful, and I'm so happy that you posted the pic!!!
    You should never be embarrassed! You have a gorgeous smile, and should absolutely post more pics!

    (By the way, I'm extremely over weight but I'm such an attention *kitten* that I have a blog where I post pictures of myself all the time!!)
  • You are doing a fantastic job. Keep up the good work!

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  • Penelope2Plyr
    Penelope2Plyr Posts: 166 Member
    You are looking so much better my friend. WTG!!! I don't totally agree with your friend that goaded you into posting pics though. We are each individuals with different feelings. People post pics on here because they want to share and get comments, so why shouldn't we look at them when they wanted to post them. Just my two cents, and that being said, I want too, but can't figure out how to.

    We are both at 47# down, so it really thrilled me to see your pic today. Though I have a disadvantage over you. I am only 5"3 1/2 and that was before I started shrinking of old age. lol
  • Sweetsugar0424
    Sweetsugar0424 Posts: 451 Member
    You have clearly made a difference and while you are not yet where you want to be, you are no longer where you once were. This is a journey that will continue for the rest of your life. Hold your head high over what you've already accomplished. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Can totally see a difference - you are doing GREAT!!!
  • way to go! you look great. and very happy.
  • gerripho
    gerripho Posts: 479 Member
    You are looking so much better my friend. WTG!!! I don't totally agree with your friend that goaded you into posting pics though. We are each individuals with different feelings. People post pics on here because they want to share and get comments, so why shouldn't we look at them when they wanted to post them. Just my two cents, and that being said, I want too, but can't figure out how to.

    I see your point, too, friend. But, really, the advice was good for ME, though it may not be suited to others. You know, I missed out on a lot by not permitting people to take my picture because of my personal embarrassment. The worst of all is that the pages in my grandsons' baby books where my grandma picture is supposed to be is blank. :cry: That needs to be fixed and I'm hoping a little photoshop will be acceptable. Still, I'll always know that resulting pictures are fabrications and will regret it for the rest of my life. So you see, it was the best advice for ME. I need to care less about what other people think of me and care more about the really important things.

    Gald to have you as my friend. :heart: You have a way of making me think rationally and less from self-pity emotions.
  • debi121155
    debi121155 Posts: 2 Member
    You look great and you can be greater. Keep up the good work. Very proud.
  • Amazing job! I'm so proud of you and all your hard work!
  • FANTASTIC! Nothing to be embarrassed about there!! WOO-HOO!
  • Laurie1267
    Laurie1267 Posts: 169 Member
    You look amazing! Congrats! Keep up the great work. Pretty!
  • ktfitzgerald
    ktfitzgerald Posts: 369 Member
    Forget embarrassment - you should be proud! You are looking great!
  • mckellipgirl
    mckellipgirl Posts: 63 Member
    Thank you for deciding on sharing. These pictures help motivate me and I can't wait to be sharing my progress with everyone and hopefully help some people as well!
  • GrammaBonnie
    GrammaBonnie Posts: 232 Member
    Awesome ... and, I think many will agree: Inspirational! Thanks for sharing! {Hugs!}
  • Monicapierce
    Monicapierce Posts: 126 Member
    You are doing sooo good!!!!
  • CoachAnnika
    CoachAnnika Posts: 10 Member
    Way to go!! Don't be nervous - BE PROUD and inspire others!!
  • OdeToEmma
    OdeToEmma Posts: 31 Member
    You look great! Congratulations!

    I understand feeling shameful about how you look - it was a shocking picture that started me on this journey. I am grateful for the wake-up call! (But not necessarily for the lingering evidence...)
  • jrtcw
    jrtcw Posts: 128 Member
    Yay!
    Jane
  • sarahsummers12
    sarahsummers12 Posts: 128 Member
    Awesome job! I know the feeling all too well of missing out on family memories via pics... I am sad every day that I don't have pics of me with my kids...but I am too ashamed of how I look. But you are doing an AWESOME job and keep up the good work - looking forward to seeing the next pics you post! Thanks for sharing! :-D
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
    Don't know what you're embarrassed about; you look fantastic!!
  • kimiel51
    kimiel51 Posts: 299 Member
    Awesome!!
  • debjae
    debjae Posts: 242
    :happy: way to go!!! great job
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    Congratulations!!! I think you look great- and you're right, I have been feeling kind of guilty about getting so inspired by everyone else's pics and being too embarrassed to post my own. Good job with the weight loss and the courage! You are one inspiring lady!
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    I continue to be amazed by how much younger and happier people look when posting. Congratulations on your success thus far and in the future!
  • skulcherry
    skulcherry Posts: 25 Member
    You look great and are an inspiration to us all!
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