Moms of Autistic Children

Thank you! I've been hearing lots and lots of people say that their children didn't speak until 3 or 4 or even later. That's good news for me, so there is hope! Just because my son isn't speaking now doesn't mean he won't ever speak, thank goodness. I just want to hear his little voice!

Well, David didn't start speaking until 4 but now he rarely shuts up! We love it. The other day he told us that he remembers when he couldn't speak. He said in his mind he WAS speaking and didn't realize that what was coming out was just moans and grunts. He said it was very frustrating. Every once in a while he'll grunt and think he told us something, but is now old enough to understand he didn't really say any words.

Other signs to look for that David has:

Trouble making and keeping eye contact (For some children with autism, seeing and hearing at the same time can be too much stimulation. They will look away so they can focus on listening to what's being said. We were told not to scold him and say, "Look at me when I'm talking to you")

"Twitches" that he'll switch up. He will flap his hands, make different facial expressions, roll his eyeballs in certain figures (last month was the figure 8), and sometimes he'll make grunting noises.

Getting obssessed with things. Right now it's Legos, but it's been a certain shirt, oragami, drawing Sonic and Halo, etc. When he's obssessed, he can't go more than a minute without talking about those things.

My favorite: He has no filter. He will say whatever is on his mind and it's usually hilarious! (we do have to teach him what's appropriate to say to people, though)

What state do you live in?

I don't know if this is "taboo" or whatever with autistic parents...

Has anyone tried to GFCF diet? I have been reading everything and anything I can about autism and that particular diet seems to come up a lot.

My son's early intervention therapist told me it's a bunch of crap basically and that it doesn't work. I've read testimonials from parents saying it does help their children.

I'm interested to see everyone's opinions on this. Have you tried it? Did it make a difference? Or is it just a bunch of baloney?

I'm not sure, it may help some kids more than others. I love my dairy so cutting back on the casein would be hard. Although it does make my face break out. >.<

I haven't read all of the replies...

my 12 year old son has asperger's (as well as ADHD and anxiety). I knew when he was a tiny infant that something was "different"about him. He was verbal and cuddly (inside the family) but had SERIOUS stranger issues. He didn't speak to outsiders until he was about 4... and then only when coached... and still he often doesn't, although he will say "I have aspergers and I don't like to speak much"...

when he was four I began investigating and decided that autism fit all of his symptoms... I had to leave my husband in order to get him the help he needs (among other reasons but... the care my kids needed was the main reason)...

since his actual diagnosis (at 8) we have been through multiple rounds of family therapy, empathy training, desensitizing therapy, emotion training (he is so cute when he comes up to you and says "I sense I have disturbed your emotions" and puts his hand on your shoulder). we have been through multiple bouts of INTENSE therapy (like three and four times a week for two or three hours at a time)

when he was first diagnosed he would have episodes where he was so overwhelmed that he would curl up into a ball and just shut down... multiple times a week... he was suspended 20 times (in a year) for almost 40 days...

he has not had an episode of shutting down in more than a year... he knows to say "I am feeling overwhelmed and I need a time out" and most of the time the school accepts it...

he is on a good combination of medicines (anti anxiety and adhd)....

he is very inciteful and I can ask him "how does ____ affect you" and he can tell me "this makes me anxious" or "I am worried about having an accident" or whatever... he can tell me "I don't like to go bike riding on new trails because the motion is too much input and it grinds my brain like hornets, but I will go if I can wear my big eyesunglasses"...

I am more and more coming ot have hope that he can be a functioning member of adult society!


I reccommend "you can't make me but I can be pursuaded" (http://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Make-Persuaded-Strong-Willed/dp/1578561930) and "autism's hidden blessings" (http://www.autismshiddenblessings.com/) and "autism speaks" (http://www.autismspeaks.org/)

it is never too soon to get intervention... it will help you and him and help you be a better parent because even if he doesn't have autism you can learn valuable parenting skills (not to say you aren't a good parent... but NO ONE is a perfect parent and we ALL can learn skills)


good luck dear... it is a hard burden to bear... but it is completely bearable... and there is support!

I could have written the first half of your post. We just found out that our 7.5 year old has Aspergers Syndrome. In fact, just got the formal diagnosis last Wednesday and we now start the medical testing to rule out brain issues and the like.

When my son was about 2, I knew something was different about him. He was my 3rd child. I mentioned to my husband that I had this inkling that he was autistic, but I knew that wasn't the case entirely. He is highly intelligent, very emotional, but socially awkward. he didn't speak in sentences until he was 3.5 and then he would only speak to his immediate family. I can remember a moment when we were with my mother in law and she was talking about something that peaked his interest. He rambled out a garbled sentence that ended with dummy head.

School has been very trying for him and for us. He just wants to be left alone. Tell him what to do, show him how to do it and he'll do fine if he's left alone. When he was around 3 and he and I would go grocery shopping together, he would scream at the top of his lungs if a stranger came down the same isle as us. That's when I had my first real big thought about autism.

Last year at school they put him in a peer to peer group because they thought he had anger management issues. When he had his moments where he wanted to be alone and they would force him to interact with others, he'd ball up his fists, grunt and scream and cry. He did however have a little girl in his class that he clings to and calmed him down. So much so that the teacher learned to put them next to each other because he was a lot more relaxed around her. He even calls her his girlfriend. I'm secretly hoping she's in his class this next year.

All that being said, we discovered through all of this that my husband (who is 47) also suffers from Aspergers syndrome. Both my husband and our son are very high functioning, but the similarities between them is uncanny. My son has a sensitivity to noise and my husbands is light. They are both very intelligent and very much into routines. They latch onto a subject and learn everything they possible can about it. We've always joked that my husband was a walking encyclopedia. Now I know why.

OP: For Aspergers, they typically don't diagnose until they're around 2 years of age. However, if you suspect that your son might have Autism at such an early age, I'd check into it. I will tell you that I have 5 children and they have all started talking at different stages in their lives (well the older 4, the youngest is just barely 3 months old).

My 4th child didn't start really talking until he was 2.5-3 years old and then full on sentences until he was closer to 3. He's 3 years 2 months old now and you can understand about 3/4 of his sentence structure and you can piece it together; but I can tell you without a doubt that he doesn't have Aspergers or Autism. Totally different functioning child. His brother above him is the one who does. My oldest has a very light case, she's extremely high functioning but does exhibit signs. She was talking by 13 months as was my oldest son.

So, point of my post is to give your kiddo some time. Everyone does things on their own level at their own time. Just because the books, or your friends kids did it at a certain time; doesn't mean that your kiddo will be any different.

my oldest son was diagnosed with asperger's when he was 3. i knew something was wrong about a year before that. he had about 18 words at his 18 month well-check and lost them; he only had 10 words at his 2 year appointment. he made eye contact but had no concept of personal space or how roughly he was treating something. he would not play, but he would sit and watch his hand flap for hours. he would occasionally rock back and forth and hum to calm himself. he was cuddly, but wanted to be squeezed tightly because loose was painful. his rages were awful, especially when something came up that he wasn't expecting.

we did social skills therapy, kelation therapy, de-sensitizing therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, had a picture schedule, went casein free, and used juice plus gummies. the casein free helped (a LOT!), but gluten free didn't.

at 6 1/2, we had him re-evaluated and he was taken off the spectrum and given a sister diagnosis of sensory integration dysfunction. at 10, he acts very neurotypical except for the fact that he can recount EVERY single football game down to the individual plays for the last 8 years and still will occasionally rock himself for comfort. he can get very upset over minor things, but handles the daily fluctuations to changes in his schedule like a pro. i think he could still be considered part of the spectrum depending on who does the evaluation, maybe ppd-nos, but we are content with how he is without it. it was very important we had the diagnosis early on for getting the help he needed in school, but we have that fine-tuned now.

personally, i am glad we did as many interventions as we did as early as we did. look into dan doctors (it stands for defeat autism now). they are a tremendous resource. another resource that helped was learning 'love and logic' as a parenting style. we LOVED the book 'the out of sync kid' by carol kranowitz. i also recommend you join some support groups on yahoo... the knowledge they share with each other cannot be comprehended.

also, there is money to help cover some treatments. find your local developmental disabilities chapter and apply for a grant if you need assistance. it is never a huge amount, but it is helpful.

hugs.

Jackson is my 9 year old. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 2 1/2. At 12 months he wasn't really talking. By 2 he was getting informal services which increased with his diagnosis. He is now going into 4th grade. He was the lead in the 3rd grade play last year. He is in chorus, played community soccer, and takes gymnastics. He didn't really talk until 4 and now we have to beg him to be quiet. Early intervention is the key!!! He has his challenges but the early therapy will help tremendously!!!

Feel free to friend me.

Thank you for this. It's so inspiring to hear such nice stories like your son's. He sounds like he has made excellent progress. That's wonderful! My son currenly has no words or babbling whatsoever, but I am hopeful.

I just want what's best for him and I want him to be able to go to school, have friends, etc. I guess I'm just overwhelmed right now. So much is being thrown at me all at once.

Also - thank you to everyone who has replied to this thread so far. You have no idea how nice it is to hear from other moms/parents or people who know someone with autism. It gives me hope that my son will be able to function and have a relatively "normal" life...

My son is scheduled for an evaluation next month with a specialist, so I'm waiting to see how that goes. I'll make sure I let everyone know.

He has been making progress. I make sure I work and play with him every day. We got a new game, it's this elephant that blows these balls up in the air. I was so excited because my son loves it! Most toys he doesn't care for. He finds pieces of the toy that he likes (such as a tag on a stuffed animal etc) and won't play properly with most toys. Last night he was chasing after the balls and actually putting them in the elephant's ears and they were blowing out of its trunk! It was so exciting to me and great to watch...to see your child actually PLAY with a toy was so amazing.

Thank you everyone again for your thoughts, comments, etc. You guys honestly have no idea how much it means to me.

You are more than welcome. It is a process and you will have good and bad days. I am finally in a good place. There are times when I want things to be easier but I think we all feel that a one point or another about our kids. Getting professional help with qualified people will give him the best chance to make growth. There was a time I never thought I would hear the words I love you. He was 4 before we heard them. We did sign for a long time. But, eventually he made progress. He still likes to dominate the conversation about his preferred topics but he is communicating. hugs!!!

Hi, Obviously I am not a mom but my son is 7.5 yrs old and is high functioning autistic. He is very stubborn and will not try many foods. Normally he eats junk. I was wondering if anyone here has any experience getting their child to: 1. Eat and 2. Eat something more than nutella.

Thanks

There is a reason very early intervention is important. Very important. My youngest daughter had speech delay, but it wasn't for this specific reason.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Boy-Who-Loved-Windows/dp/0738206660

15 months isn't too early and I encourage you to look at alternative ideas to help pull him out and keep him from withdrawing so much. I would also suggest to start spacing out his booster shots. Not desert the whole thing, just space them more. I don't believe it causes autism, (And I'm not saying it even could) but the chemical assault is hard on any body. There is so much about autism we don't know, and the environment can make things worse.

The whole jag food thing is super normal for kids (IMO, it isn't normal for them to love all foods all the time) so don't freak on that. It'll be ok!

Hi, Obviously I am not a mom but my son is 7.5 yrs old and is high functioning autistic. He is very stubborn and will not try many foods. Normally he eats junk. I was wondering if anyone here has any experience getting their child to: 1. Eat and 2. Eat something more than nutella.

Thanks

I was HORRIBLE with eating new foods. I ate hot dogs, fries, mac n cheese, and chicken nuggets. That was pretty much it. Oh and candy. I came around to eating healthier when I got older when I noticed I was getting super fat. Sometimes they have to realize it on their own. Or you have to present something new in a similar way to something he already likes. It's how they got me to eat sausages, "It's like a jumbo hot dog!" Then I ate it and liked it.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It gives me some insight into what Jackson is thinking. His diet is terrible...cereal, peanut butter, french fries, yogurt, sweetened apple sauce, hot dogs. I have been able to get him to take bites with a lot of prompting!! He says he likes it but won't really eat it. It is all similar foods too. He is 9...I have hope for a more balanced diet!

No problem.

It could also be a texture thing. That's why I still can't eat certain foods with weird textures. I don't like tomatoes, at least not in their natural state and will only eat it finely diced or in a sauce, because of the texture. It took me forever to be able to eat mashed potatoes and now I love them, too bad they aren't diet friendly. :laugh:

My best friend have Autisim and she's really awesome and I love her sense of humor!

Guys.. I wanted to tell you this tonight. I'm the mother of two Pomeranians. And although its really hard for me to understand what your going through. I wanted to tell you this....

Sometimes I think my boss can be a little jerky.. He loves his classic cars, and hes in car clubs.. And tonight I found out that his car club just raised over $30,000.00 to donate to the Autism Foundation. Guess hes not as bad as I think he is sometimes. That really changes my opinion of him. Even thou he can be excessive with those cars, at least there is a heart in him, and he does the right thing. And I hope somehow this will help you, and your families. :flowerforyou:

Hi, Obviously I am not a mom but my son is 7.5 yrs old and is high functioning autistic. He is very stubborn and will not try many foods. Normally he eats junk. I was wondering if anyone here has any experience getting their child to: 1. Eat and 2. Eat something more than nutella.

Thanks

I was HORRIBLE with eating new foods. I ate hot dogs, fries, mac n cheese, and chicken nuggets. That was pretty much it. Oh and candy. I came around to eating healthier when I got older when I noticed I was getting super fat. Sometimes they have to realize it on their own. Or you have to present something new in a similar way to something he already likes. It's how they got me to eat sausages, "It's like a jumbo hot dog!" Then I ate it and liked it.

My kids were all the same way... We had to have divided plates it was so bad... (my youngest is the aspergers... My oldest has "adhd with autistic tendencies") they would have nearly full blown panic attacks when new/different foods were introduced...

Years of patience... And they will ready anything put in front of them (albeit they have a hard time with mixtures... And sometimes I allow them to eat slowly or to eat soup with a fork or something)

My 13 year old son has aspergers. He was not diagnosed till he was six. His speech and walking developed normal if not faster then some but he was very quirky. I had never heard of aspergers before until he was diagnosed but we always knew he was different, even as a baby he would never look anyone in the eye and let me tell you that was heartbreaking! Once we knew what we were dealing with there was lots of help to be found mainly with a childrens rehab centre. My son looks me in the eye constantly!
I wish you luck and know that if your child has autism there is support for you and him.

First of all, get it out of your mind that there is something "wrong" with your son. You do not want to (unintentionally) start treating him differently than you would other children. Although early intervention is a good thing to do when you have suspicions, you cannot be certain that this woman is correct. Most children are not correctly diagnosed with autism until they are approximately 3 years of age.

As the other posters said, does your child smile; does he make eye contact? Does he respond when you call/talk to him? If he is not speaking, have you been teaching him sign language? Just because he is not talking yet does NOT make him autistic. Has he had his hearing thoroughly tested?

A friend of mine's daughter waited until she was almost 3 to really speak more than a word here and there, and she used complete sentences once she started. She is 6 now, and has met all developmental markers, if not surpassed them (and is damn smart too!). People tried to tell my mom there was something wrong with me because I did not walk until I was nearly 2 years old, and I am absolutely fine.

You are the one who lives with your child day in and day out. You know his communication style, his personality, and his quirks. Continue the early intervention by all means, but get yourself educated on Autism Spectrum Disorders as well. Do not just rely on what one person tells you.

I say this as a stepmother to a boy with both autism and cerebral palsy. We have worked our butts off with him, and our son has surpassed nearly everyone's expectations of him. Not only that, he is sweet, loving, and a joy to be around!

Hi, Obviously I am not a mom but my son is 7.5 yrs old and is high functioning autistic. He is very stubborn and will not try many foods. Normally he eats junk. I was wondering if anyone here has any experience getting their child to: 1. Eat and 2. Eat something more than nutella.

Thanks

Our son used to only want to eat Cheerios, chicken nuggets, milk, and pasta (preferably mac and cheese). I found out later that seriously picky eating (called self-limiting) is very likely to indicate an allergy to those very foods they are limiting themselves to. In your case, depending on what his self-limiting foods are, he may benefit from a gluten free/casein free diet.

By the way, now one of his favorite meals is actually salmon with broccoli and rice.

Also, for anyone interested in exploring diet changes, there is an absolutely excellent book by Karen Seroussi, called Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder: A Mother's Story of Research & Recovery.

First of all, get it out of your mind that there is something "wrong" with your son. You do not want to (unintentionally) start treating him differently than you would other children.

THIS!!!!

there is nothing WRONG with an autistic (or on the spectrum) person!! they simply think differently

I REFUSE To allow my son to use autism as an excuse for misbehavior... he knows this and understands this... and if anything he is held to a higher level of accountability than my other children... I ask him "why" all the time... he knows to interpret his behaviors and his feelings and how to communicate them to us... he has actually been commended in school this year (new school) because he was asked to join in a group activity... he was feeling overwhelmed... so he told his teacher "I am feeling overwhelmed, may I have a few minute time out and then join the group?" ... he put his head on his desk for 3 minutes and then was able to join the group and participate... she said she had never had a child ask for a time out...

(but anyways I digress)

I have taught him that aspergers is just one of his qualities... like his blue eyes or his flexibility or his foot size... it is just a part of who he is... and if I wouldn't let him use his blue eyes as an excuse for misbehavior then I won't let him use aspergers as an excuse...

it has taken us YEARS of intensive therapy (as individuals he and I and as a family with his siblings) to get to this point... I have had tons of training and so has he... we have done research into behavior... and I have spent countless hours in prayer.... but it is possible