Its a Secret...

I haven't told my husband, hopefully he'll notice the difference (at some point!) but I don't want him to accuse me of being obsessive about what I'm eating because then it will put me off logging on. I log on at work and it helps me plan the whole family's food.
There are lots of things we don't discuss, not because it is a secret, just because it's not worth discussing! Also if I fail, he won't know either!

I considered not telling my husband because I knew he would't believe the diet would last. Of course, it might last longer if her were more supportive. He actually does things to try to sabotage me and then says he is just trying to be polite.

Opening a bag of M&Ms, pouring them in a bowl and placing them on the coffee table in front of me when you know I am dieting is NOT being polite.

However, I knew I couldn't do this properly and be successful, if I didn't tell him. I am hoping he will become more supportive after I have stayed on program for a while. For now, I just remind him almost daily about my current weightloss so that he knows I am still dieting and that I am having success. I am not doing this for anyone but myself and I am not going to let anyone else interfere with my plans for success.

Tena

I hide it from my family. I'm sure they can see that I'm overweight, but if they knew I was weighing, measuring and logging everything they would really not approve. When I lived with my parents, I couldn't do things like that. I'd get told off and made to feel like I was being obsessive. I'd start to believe that I was developing an eating disorder. Likewise, I'd do a lot of exercise in secret because I didn't want them to know how much time/effort I was putting into it. Again, they'd have told me I was going OTT and didn't need to do all that.
That probably makes them sound awful. They're not.

My boyfriend, who I now live with, knows that I'm trying to lose. He's seen the scales come out when I'm making food and he doesn't say much about it now. He knows I plan what I'm going to eat in advance and that I'll refuse certain foods now, or at the end of the day will have run out of calories. He doesn't know that I'm on MFP and that I track every little thing on the app. I get a bit miffed when he throws away food packaging before I can scan the barcode or take down the NI, but I don't like to ask him not to because I'm (once again) afraid of being seen as obsessive.

It is sad that society (including many right here on this site) have such attitudes about weight that people who struggle to control their food feel ashamed. You suffer from an addiction. So do smokers and many drinkers. Your addiction is even harder to control because you cannot completely abstain from food. You have to learn to handle food responsibly even while continuing to consume it.

My entire life I was slender. Right up until my mid-40's. I am now close to 50 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago. Some of it is a result of aging and some of it is a result of the effects my thyroid and my thyroid medication. That doesn't mean I didn't play a role. Of course, I did. I was the one who ate more than needed. However, for someone who has never had to struggle with their weight, they don't understand how hard it really can be. I know I didn't until I lived it.

I cannot believe your husband would feel any less about you if he understood how much you struggle with food. The real challenge will be for him to understand. I am not sure he really can. However, I know you can be successful.

As far as keeping MFP secret, my husband knows I am using MFP, but I know he would never come online looking to see what I log. Besides, I have a secure password.

Good luck with your weighloss journey.

Tena

I would never hide it from my husband, he's my biggest source of support. I initially told some of my family and friends and that back-fired big time on me with some of them. Some of them became very competitive and jealous, others decided it was then their job to scrutinise everything I ate.
So I've just not mentioned it again, most of them assume I've given up, though one friend in particular HAS to ask all the time how I'm going. She's the sort who tries a new fad diet every fortnight then gives up when it's been a whole two days and she hasn't seen results. She's super happy and supportive when I haven't lost anything, but silent and sullky if I have.
But I will just keep on doing what I'm doing regardless of what they think!

The only people who know I do this are my immediate family and my husband. I do not make my food diary public though. I also don't share it with my friends or extended family because I don't want anyone to judge the fact I am logging food. Not a whole lot of people know how much I struggle with cravings and staying on an exercise regimen regularly because I am on the smaller side as it is. I have always been somewhat athletic, so most people don't see any problem with the way I look. But I am making lifestyle changes and it's not just about the way I look, it's about how I feel, how much energy I have, and how dedicated I can be to something. So many people jump to conclusions "Oh, she has an eating disorder because she OBSESSES about what she eats"...which is SOOOOO not the case. It is really upsetting sometimes, so I have just decided that this journey will be more of a private one

All of my friends and family know I'm on a journey to be healthier. They know I run, they know I go to the gym, they know I don't eat certain food anymore, that I count macros, that I weigh my food if I need to. If they have a problem with it, well, it's their problem not mine. It's hard enough balancing my own life - I don't have the time or the energy to deal with someone else's hangup.

My close family know what all I am doing to become healthier. I don't broadcast on Facebook or anything like that and I try to be careful when I go out to dinner with friends or family. My reasoning is because they don't seem to care what they eat and how many calories they are consuming and I don't want to be that person to inform them without them asking first. And for a lot of my family, I was smaller than them before I even started this journey and I don't know I just feel like they are judging my decision. Not that they aren't happy for me but still that uneasy/tension when I won't eat what they are. Weightloss seems to be a touchy topic. Now get me with someone that understands the process and I can talk all night.

:flowerforyou: I hope my story helps you.
For twelve years now, I've done south beach, Atkins, weight watchers, and Jenny Craig. I've lost and regained more after each program. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2oo6 and then hashimotos in late 2011. With each of these experiences I've shared it with my spouse, friends and family. It got to the point where my spouse said "well you're doing good now but will yoube able to keep it up". It got to the point where every time we got together family and friends would watch what is on my plate and make comments here and there.
Back in march 2012 I hit bottom. I got a full physical and endocrinology work done. My Obgyn wanted to do surgery and I just snapped. I decided that I had to take control, no pill or plan was going to work. I read the Metabolism miracle book. This gave me a start to understand my thyroid issues. I didn't share any of my eatting or workout plans with anyone.
I continued to make the normal foods for my husband and kids but they never noticed that I wasn't eatting the pasta, bread, or cookies. I never brought it to their attention. At in laws house, I put the food on my plate and pushed it around, they never noticed. Going out to eat, I'd check out the menu online and order something that worked, I didn't discuss it with anyone ahead of time. I just. Logged logged and logged.
I started running. I did my first 5k and no one knew. I'm now running at 5:00 am and no ones awake. I've lost 20 lbs since April. My family never noticed (because they see me everyday) but friends I haven't seen for a while give nice compliments.
The point is I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me. They don't know how to support me because of all the times I tried and failed. I put them on an emotional rollercoaster too and it wasn't fair.
I hope I helped you. You don't have to share your diet or workout with anyone. If you do, be prepared for criticism.
Good luck