Why...
Sumissa
Posts: 5
I find myself asking why...
Why do I say okay this is it and tomorrow I will start... Only to last till lunch time.
Why do I say okay no more soda... Only to find myself that night recycling that 2L of pop I said I wouldn't touch.
Why do I say okay next grocery I won't be getting any process food... Only to find myself putting away those mini frozen pizza and chicken fingers away for those quick dinners.
Why do I look at my treadmill and say "tomorrow we have a date"... Only to find myself hanging my workout clothes on it.
Why do I let my emotions eat that cake... Only to know that my problems will still be there after I am done.
Why do I know the answers to most of these why... Only to keep going the way I am...
Do you find yourself asking these why also?
Why do I say okay this is it and tomorrow I will start... Only to last till lunch time.
Why do I say okay no more soda... Only to find myself that night recycling that 2L of pop I said I wouldn't touch.
Why do I say okay next grocery I won't be getting any process food... Only to find myself putting away those mini frozen pizza and chicken fingers away for those quick dinners.
Why do I look at my treadmill and say "tomorrow we have a date"... Only to find myself hanging my workout clothes on it.
Why do I let my emotions eat that cake... Only to know that my problems will still be there after I am done.
Why do I know the answers to most of these why... Only to keep going the way I am...
Do you find yourself asking these why also?
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Replies
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Yes, but then I think of how miserable I would be if I weighed a lot more, and of how reliant my health is on the things I put in my body, and of how much more alert I generally feel after exercising, and find my willpower again, as in the end, it does come down to willpower, and to the wish to reach your goal, whatever that might be, overriding the wish to find solace in food.0
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I was that way for a long time. Then, one day, it became the most important thing in the world. I was so sick and tired of being fat. I was tired of not being able to fit in chairs. I was tired of ordering clothes online because I couldn't wear regular plus-size clothes anymore. I was embarrassed to go outside because I was convinced everyone was staring at me.
Now, every time I start to cave, I think about how awful I felt at 356 pounds and how awesome it feels to see the scale go down and my clothes shrink. I think about how horrible I'll feel in a week when the scale either doesn't move or goes up... or my jeans get tight... or whatever.
I don't deprive myself. That's the key. I had cake at my cousin's wedding, and I split a small pizza with a co-worker during lunch. The trick is to realize those are really, truly "treats" and should be enjoyed in moderation. Now that I'm not eating crap all the time, I actually don't like eating it that often. I feel kind of sick when I have treats now. I'd honestly rather have a piece of fruit than a piece of cake.0 -
When you're ready and decide that it's a priority and important to you, it will all fall in place. Yea, sometimes it'll still be hard but it's all about how bad you want it and how far you're willing to go to get it.0
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It can be really frustrating when you feel like you're ready to change but it's still hard to commit to those changes. As long as you keep trying, that's all that matters for now.0
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Thank you for all the kind words and advice. Looking at your numbers going down... Good job guys0
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I know it is difficult to muster up the willpower to fight all the poor habits that took you years to develop, but it can be done.
Do me a favor: conjure up an image in your mind, a snapshot of you at your goal weight... and make it your ultimate goal weight. What are you doing? What are you wearing? See it in your mind as if you were watching it in a movie, or a photo in a frame.
Now, every time you go to do something that will stop you from attaining this goal, take a few deep breaths and picture this image in your mind. Hold it there, down to the last detail (footwear? sunglasses, or new hairdo?) Now ask yourself what is more important: the thing you know isn't helping you, or your goal?
You can build new habits that will help you reach your dream weight. Let's do it together!0 -
Thank you for all the kind words and advice. Looking at your numbers going down... Good job guys
The time passes like any other time because it's just part of your life, like getting up, brushing your teeth, going to school or work, and so on. Pretty soon, it's been a few months and you've lost twenty pounds, just like that. You get used to the weight fluctuations and stop flipping out when the scale doesn't move for a week because you know it will move next week or the week after that.
The first 15 pounds were the hardest for me. I was so impatient. Now that I've hit 34 pounds lost, I feel like a champion, and I know I can do this all the way down to my goal weight. Time will pass, the seasons will change, and I'll keep getting smaller.
It isn't a race. It's life.0 -
I am making that transition from 'why do I' to 'why did I' so I consider it progress. I have had rough patches and tried to smooth them over with cupcakes and denial but I am not going to be that girl anymore. I am going to be fit and fabulous! And then, when I have a cupcake, because I want it and not because I'm trying to drown my sorrows in it, it will be because I am going to let go of all my mistakes and live healthy.0
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I did, but why are you wanting to stay fat and unhealthy is a better question than all of those. I don't want to be fat anymore. Also, don't completely cut out those things. Moderation is key.0
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The time passes like any other time because it's just part of your life, like getting up, brushing your teeth, going to school or work, and so on. Pretty soon, it's been a few months and you've lost twenty pounds, just like that. You get used to the weight fluctuations and stop flipping out when the scale doesn't move for a week because you know it will move next week or the week after that.
The first 15 pounds were the hardest for me. I was so impatient. Now that I've hit 34 pounds lost, I feel like a champion, and I know I can do this all the way down to my goal weight. Time will pass, the seasons will change, and I'll keep getting smaller.
It isn't a race. It's life.0 -
I did that, too. And it was always because my expectations were too high. I thought I just had no self-discipline. However, I've discovered that I do - as long as I'm reasonable, too. This time around I made only little changes at a time... Instead of trying to lose 2 pounds a week - I aim for .5 or 1. In the beginning I took little short walks and gradually added more.... and this time, I'm having success. I hope you find what works for you - but don't give up.0
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I agree Its just a switch, there is no magic answer there is nothing other than that moment and you decide there is no other choice.
I was laying in my hammock thinking whats stopping me, and the only answer was me.
Build the habit then you will feel the change then you find new hurtles and move forward.
I wish there was an easy button0 -
Everyday I struggle with the "WHY" its hard to motivate yourself especially if your doing it alone and no one understands. Its easy to eat but so hard to get up and do hard core exercise and eat healthy. We just have to push and motivate our self.:blushing:0
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I have found it easier if instead of saying no more this no more that I turn it around and say, instead of a whole candy bar today I am going to have 3 squares.... instead of 6 sodas today I will only have 2... after time you can cut it down more and more, until you open your fridge or cupboard and reach naturally for the healthier option. Even at that there are days if I feel like something I will have it if I can fit it in. Going cold turkey rarely works for anything in life.0
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What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?0
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I think we live in the same region. I say "pop" too. I drink it sometimes as well :P0
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small changes my friend. don't cut out soda completely right away. if 2 liters is what you normally drink a day or week or whatever, cut it down to 1L in that time frame. make substitutions that are slightly healthier. this is a process, you can't just change your lifestyle on a whim. you have to be emotionally ready to do it, and when you are, it's the slow, gradual changes that will make the change sustainable. it might take you two months, but eventually you'll be cutting out that soda for good.
think of every single item you put in your mouth as one step forward or one step back. which is it going to be?0 -
I so appreciate your transparency with this thread. Feel free to friend me if you'd like!0
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Quit focusing on things you shouldn't do and instead focus on what you can do--and you will do it. Get up and go exercise--find something you like doing. More importantly find your motivation--your goal--this should be your number one focus. If you're passionate enough about it, the eating and exercising will fall inline. Be careful when setting your goals--be specific, positive, and passionate.0
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What a great thing this mfp is, support is so great. Many wonderful points here. But bottom line I to was there but right now i just have to be skinner, like i hit rock bottom n nothing stands in my way. When I turned 39 i said years fly by n for one year everydaty i will do one physical thing for myself cause I WILL NOT spend next forty years unhappy unhealthy with my size. since aug 1 st 16 lbs. JUST have to want. In my mind I am already skinny, throw ou t my fat sum mer clothes cause u know next year they wll b 9wayyy to big.0
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I've been here before. Then all of a sudden all of the clothes in my closet no longer fit including the size 20 jeans I hid behind.
One day it will just "click" and you will find your motivation or motivation will find you.
Instead of "Why me?" ask "Why not change my life today?"
Hang in there...YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I think once you say no a couple of times and realize it isn't "that bad" to do without X food/drink... and perhaps focus your attention onto something else when you do say no... it gives you a power and momentum to keep going. And if it's something that's making you feel bad, or unhealthy... it's just a no-brainer when you realize you are helping yourself :flowerforyou:
And... great questions! This is the nitty gritty & hard part of habit changing :drinker:0 -
Your brain is not a computer, it is thousands of impulses and processes that are often conflicting with each other, that moves you towards certain things based on trends, not on cohesive decision making. Very basically your brain has two distinct primary systems in it. A limbic system and a rational one.
Your limbic system is primal and instinctive. It moves fast. It responds exclusively to pleasure and pain. You rational system is slow, it's logical, it helps you reason out problems, it is based on logic.
Your rational system wants to lose weight and be healthy. It knows you will feel better at the beach etc. The long term reward will be worth it. BUT your limbic system sees cake, knows cake brings pleasure, eats the damn cake before you cna really think about it.
So what can you do? Align your limbic system with your rational system. If they both want the same thing you'll be better equipped to make decisions that lead you towards the goals you rational system has set.
Your limbic system is pretty basic. It doesn't respond to words. Or "don'ts". It responds to images and two positive and negative emotions. One of the MOST powerful things you can do to "programme" it is to visualise. Get images of scenarios where your goals are leading you two. E.g. on a beautiful beach, then imagine yourself there, calm and confident, happy with your body, able to run around etc. Really really imagine everything and all the feelings you get. Do that every morning (I keep my pictures in a book by my bed) and then all day your goal will be clear to both systems, your limbic system is essentially tricked by being given the pleasurable emotional experience your goal is leading to and you'll find it much much easier to work towards.
This is me condensing a **** tonne of neuroscience but the concepts are sound. If you have any interest in how your brain works in this way I'd recommend The Winners Bible by Kerry Spackman and Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (which is based on his Nobel Prize Winning work).
This isn't a magic formula, or switch to flick. But a good way to strengthen your brain and thoughts
Good luck x0 -
Many people have asked these questions. There is only one answer: You haven't decided to change yet.
And that's ok. Just make sure you take 100% responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Once you are ready, you will do it.
blessings.0 -
I think most of us here with a lot to lose have asked those questions and more - I know I did. The answer I found is that I didn't care enough about myself to do what it takes. I put everyone/thing else first, so food became the one thing I would "do for myself" Then all things spiraled out of control.
One day I made the decision that NOTHING was more important than getting healthy. Instead of looking at the fact that I had more weight to lose than I wanted to keep, I took it one pound at a time, one victory at a time.
Different things work for different people. Search deep, and find the root cause within yourself, and find what it takes to help you overcome. Once you do, the weight will fall off. You CAN do it.0 -
I struggle with pretty much the same issues. It's so easy to just say 'tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow,' but then tomorrow never comes. I won't say that I have all the answers, because I still find myself falling into those same patterns. It's not easy to change the habits of a lifetime, but I think one of the things that has helped me get started is to be easier on myself.
Fitness isn't about just waking up one morning and suddenly having the resolve to change your entire life. Maybe it happens that way for some people, but for me it's taking it one step at a time and realizing that it's not just a singular choice to be healthy, but rather it's a million small choices every day. You try to make the right ones, and hopefully that gets easier over time as you build up those healthier habits. But sometimes you make the wrong choices, and the best thing to do in those situations is just move on. Don't beat yourself up; reflect on why you made that choice and what might help you make better ones in the future, and realize that every new choice is a new opportunity. It's so easy to just say 'Screw it, I've already messed up.' But instead, you have to just forgive yourself and resolve make the next choices better ones. To use a cliché'd sentiment “The measure of a man [or woman!] is not how many times he falls but how many times he gets up.”
In terms of actual suggestions, I would say maybe try to concentrate on one thing at a time. Make a commitment to only drink water for a week and take a 20 minute walk every day. It can be anything, but pick something small and just try to stick to it, and you'll be amazed how good it can feel to celebrate small achievements and how that can give you the courage to take on bigger challenges.
Hope this is helpful.0 -
No I don't If I ate something that tops off my calorie allowance for the day (or the week) I know why I ate it - I wanted it
question is, what do I actually want...more.
Talking to myself too much is not helping
Besides, could it be that you are in 'all-or-nothing' thinking mode when it comes to changes?
What is it exactly that lasts only till lunchtime?0 -
As others suggested, try not trying to cut out ALL of the bad stuff at once. Cut back slowly, one or two things at a time. When you go to the grocery store and you're in the check-out line, look at what you've got in there. If there is more than one bad thing in the cart, take one of them out. If there are more than 5, take 2 out, etc. Another thing to do is buy smaller sizes of the bad things you normally buy. If you drink a 2 liter of soda a week, then only buy one liter worth when you go to the store. When you get used to that, half the amount again, and again, until you're not getting it at all.
And I know there's no magical way for anyone to say this and REALLY mean it, but it really does come down to telling yourself, "I'm GOING to do this." Not even I CAN do this, but I'm GOING to do this. "I can" doesn't get anything done, so dig deep and get going!
Strive. Do. Be.0 -
Why are you beating yourself up so harshly? Changes in life should not be done all at once if you want to make a lasting change.. Instead you should pick one thing on your list and focus your energy on that goal (perhaps eating sensibly for a day). That way when your will power feels weak at lunch time you can go get a soda (preferably diet) and a healthy snack and conjure up all your will power to one goal instead of 5.
If you take the process a little slow over time you will have some success in your back pocket. At that time when you think about the treadmill you will be able to say, "I was successful at _________,, I can do this too!" You will know that you can do it and motivate yourself to the longer-term goals.
Getting healthy is not ALL or NOTHING, it is a little bit her and a little bit there, individual habits which are added over time to make you a more healthy person. Good luck!0 -
Thanks guys... All your kind words and advice did motivate me today and i was able to do 1h of treadmill... I wanted to give up after 5 minutes mind you but then I kept thinking of all the support and advice and that made me to finish what I had started and that was 1h of hard core treadmill. One step at a time... You guys are awsome...0
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