How do you react to MFP-friends, who eat way too few

Hmm, I do average between 850-1100 simply because at the moment I don't quite know WHAT to eat and I do not have more appetite!
Got some health issues, like Diabetes type 2 and living in the UK I am now almost 4 months waiting for the appointment with the dietician - it sucks! No matter how much I try to read upon...the more I read the more confused I get! Is not always a question of hitting the delete button...some people like me (hint hint lol) could need some serious help and pointers in the right direction to keep things going so that they can help themselves!
But I agree some others do think they need to starve themselves to skinny - that's definitely not the way to go!

Why don't you post maybe in "food and nutrition" and ask for some advice. You might get some differing advice but then you can take some of the ideas and research them yourself. You might also find some friends with similar issues.

Hmm, I do average between 850-1100 simply because at the moment I don't quite know WHAT to eat and I do not have more appetite!
Got some health issues, like Diabetes type 2 and living in the UK I am now almost 4 months waiting for the appointment with the dietician - it sucks! No matter how much I try to read upon...the more I read the more confused I get! Is not always a question of hitting the delete button...some people like me (hint hint lol) could need some serious help and pointers in the right direction to keep things going so that they can help themselves!
But I agree some others do think they need to starve themselves to skinny - that's definitely not the way to go!

Why don't you post maybe in "food and nutrition" and ask for some advice. You might get some differing advice but then you can take some of the ideas and research them yourself. You might also find some friends with similar issues.

Thanks!! Sounds like a plan x

As someone who usually eats way too few, I KNOW I eat too few calories & I struggle from EDNOS. This means that comments about needing to eat more/differently are extremely unhelpful & unwelcome. Just assume you don't know everything about the person. Comment when it can be something positive & ignore the things you don't like.

This is such a great question and I struggle with it myself. Especially since I often don't complete my journals and it looks like I'm eating less than I do!

I know that for my body, my metabolism, and my lifestyle, shooting for 1200 - 1400 calories a day works for me to maintain my weight. I know that might shock some, but it is what works for me. Sometimes less. Sometimes more. I like to zig zag a bit to keep my metabolism guessing.

So I hesitate to judge others for their calorie choices. HOWEVER, if you see someone consistently eating under 1,000 calories and making self-depreciating comments, they may have an eating disorder and use the tool to supplement it. You should just unfriend people who don't mesh with your goals.

Share your opinion, offer suggestion and be nice about but, honestly, why is your business what someone else puts into their bodies?? If you feel they have an eating disorder and feel you can help them, then, by all means, try to help them. But I say, people on here need to worry about themselves, offer encouragement, and keep your face in your own plate!!

I wouldn't want you trying to impose your view of what is right on me. Unless you know all the circumstances you don't know if their food intake is appropriate. For all I know you're a compulsive overeater who can't relate to someone with control over their appetite and criticising a low intake is a way to feel better about your own gluttony.

If you don't want people making comments though, make your diary private. The whole point of adding friends is to have other people in the same frame of mind as you who can spot your mistakes when you can't.

I don"t care if someone has too low of calories or even high for a certain day, I like to see what kinds of meals they prepare and get better ideas to change up my own vegetarian diet.

This! This is the only reason I look at other people's diaries...to see what they eat to get ideas!

If you don't want people making comments though, make your diary private. The whole point of adding friends is to have other people in the same frame of mind as you who can spot your mistakes when you can't.
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Exactly!

If the person is eating say 400 calories and exercising loads then it is likely that they have an eating disorder and whatever nagging as nicely intended as you mean it is not going to fix this.

Alternatively if they are eating 1200 calories and it is working for them then they are in a safe number of calories and I don't see any problem with that. I myself would not eat 1500-2100 calories a day as I wouldn't lose any weight. (I've tried for long periods of time)

I think there is a lot of snobbery on here with people thinking there is only their way of doing things or nothing.

Just focus on your goal.

AMEN! Everyone is different and has different nutritional needs. Age, muscle mass, activity levels, and genetics all affect how we gain or lose weight. Personally, I need to stay around 1200 and exercise regularly to be able to lose weight. But I am 49, and that's what happens to your metabolism at this age. Someone in their 20s can get away with eating a lot more. I would suggest that if someone's eating habits bother you, stop looking at their diary or take them off of your friend list. If it is a real life friend that obviously has an eating disorder, you can express your concern out of love for them. But please realize that everyone's body is not like yours, and it really aggravates those of us that are losing on 1200-1500, when someone jumps on us and tells us to eat more. And it makes us feel bad that we aren't able to eat as much as you are, so apparently there is something wrong with us, or we just aren't trying hard enough. That can really sabotage our weight loss efforts.

I don't know why everybody is ranting about the 1200 kcal-thing. I never talked about this. The eating HABITS i feel concerned about are people who have NET kcal <500 on a REGULAR basis, that means for more than 7 days in a row.

I also never wrote, that I want to tell them what is wrong or write! I just asked how you deal with it and how people who are undereating feel about this. And I asked this, because I don't want to hurt somebodys feelings or impose my views.

So, it's quite simple... don't say anything that will hurt someone's feelings and don't impose your views. You don't know what someone is going through and what their struggles are. Yesterday was National Suicide Awareness Day and the main purpose of that day is to recognize that different people handle different situations in totally different ways ... you never when something you say could be the last straw for someone. Just be encouraging and positive.

I try to get to know each of my friends on here. Always talk about how you are planning on self-destruct, either by eating too little or eating too much, and I will delete you - you need far more help than I can offer. Learning how to make healthier choices, and slowly bringing your intake up or down, and I will support and encourage you. I honestly try to find the best in every diary, make suggestions based on what has worked for me when I know you are trying to work on something specific. I have no issues when friends point out what I need to work on - I'm fully aware that I need to reduce my intake of some things, and it's a work in progress, so friends noticing that I've kept my intake of pop high for a few days helps.

For this reason, I'm considering closing my diary. I try to eat somewhere between 1000-1200 cals a day. Sometimes I am over that but it all averages out to around 1200, yet the days where I have, for example, 200 cals spare, I am always bugged to eat more. I never ever go to bed with a hungry stomach. I never ever starve myself. I eat dinner, supper and dessert with maybe a snack earlier on in the day. I feel like I am eating a reasonable amount. We all have our own goals and ways of achieving them so leave the rest of us alone please and focus on your own path. ^__^

I used to be a moderator on another fitness board (primarily for women's fitness) for about 10 years (I began 13 years ago. Yes, I am a dinosaur). and I learned over the years that helpful advice will usually fall on deaf ears. The only thing that would happen is that I would spend crazy amounts of time doing what I thought would help people that obviously needed it. I got ZERO positive result. All of my time, energy and knowledge would go in one ear and come speeding out of the other without ever having time to soak into their brain.

I got quickly burned out and just ignored them. It was at this point that the most amazing thing happened. People who had a REAL DESIRE to change their lifestyles would seek me out and ask advice. They didn't always listen either, but I did plant a seed that often times would germinate and grow into something wonderful somewhere down the line. But many DID listen and chose to pursue a healthier path right from jump.

And for those that know they are under-eating and think that just because they are losing weight they are "getting healthier". They will eventually experience what we call rebounding when they starve away most of their calorie-burning lean mass along with some excess body fat and water weight. It's simple biology. Just look at all of the public figures who have done this. How many have we seen attain and maintain better health for even a decade? They are just as bad. They will also eventually burn out and fade away or maybe they will send up the white flag and seek a true path to better health and fitness... or not.

The fad dieters are also quite sad. You can talk till you are blue in the face. The have also convinced themselves that "this" or "that" is NOT a fad diet because it "is working for them." Yes, they are losing calorie-burning lean mass along with some excess body fat and water. They will also experience rebounding when they go back to eating "normal" food. And then they will fade back into the woodwork or try another fad or MAYBE they will seek out better health and fitness and ask for advice.

My advice? Just pretend you don't see it.

If I have a friend that is new on here eating low regularly, I will let them know that they do not have to be afraid to eat a little more. So many people who have struggled with weight for a long time are used to having to cut the calories back to lose weight. If they have been on here a while I don't feel it's my business to tell a grown adult how to eat. Especially if I don't know all their circumstances. Besides, if they think how they are eating is working for them, they are not going to listen to me. However, if they ask for advice, I will gladly suggest eating more.

As someone who is almost always under calories, I can tell you it is frustrating to have people point this out. I eat very nutritionally dense foods (lots of fruits and veggies) and snack all day long so I'm never hungry. My doctor is aware of my situation and we work together so while I do share my diary (it gives other people ideas of things to eat), my diet is what it is right now.

I really don't comment negatively on anyone's diary. If they ask for feedback, I give it. If I see a lot of people attacking someone or commenting that they aren't taking in enough cals, I recommend adding fruits and veggies.

Please just remember when commenting, we don't truly know each others' situations. Many people ARE under the care of a doctor. It isn't for us to judge (just like I don't comment on someone who over-ate by a huge amount- I just remind them of their progress or that tomorrow is another day).