Lost the weight...more lonely than ever

A few years ago i had a smoking hot body however I was incredibly lonely and dare I say suicidal (nothing to do with weight i want to add). I moved, changed jobs and made some more friends and also gained 3 stone. I was happier being that weight when I was a rake. I was 'well and truly' single for 3 years, do dates, no kisses no anything. I know just what you mean about wanting someone to share things with so I joined match.com.

You say that you are on dating sites already and have spoken to a few people but no dates yet, is this because your scared? The first few dates I was so nervous but after a while dates just became fun, even if i didn't fancy them I would be spending time with someone different and I might have a story to tell my friends the next day (Like the one guy who showed up drunk and actually got more and more p*ssed during the date OR the guy that raped my face in a carpark **Shudders at memory*** )

I have been on some DISASTROUS dates, some funny dates, some where I wanted to jump out of the bathroom window and leg it and I have also fallen in love. I have been with him for nearly 3 years now and I feel so lucky to have found him.

I get the feeling yours is a confidence thing. I once heard the saying do something everyday that scares you. Why dont you ask one of the girls you've been chatting to out for a coffee. You are a really really cute guy and im sure they would say yes.

Good luck.
Keep us posted

I can completely empathize. I haven't been on a date in 3 years! But I'm finding that being single has advantages. I don't have to worry about working with someone else's schedule, changing my plans suddenly, etc. Now yes, I am lonely a lot of times, but sometimes there's just nothing you can do but wait.

You are cute, and you seem to have a good personality! That girl will come around eventually...grab her when she does!

HELLO.

I'm legal now. :devil:

Keep your chin up. You'll find somebody. Just goes to show that weight and size really don't matter. You have to stick it out and find someone who loves you for your personality instead. :flowerforyou:

Try meetup.com. You can join groups with people that have similar interests.

^^^
this. I joined groups when I moved to Virigina. I was only looking to meet friends and I met my husband too!

Coming from a girl: You are so dang cute, It won't be long before someone snaps you up, I am positive. In the meantime, don't be one of those people that defines themselves by or can't be happy without a relationship. You're only 23, right? You're still super young. Enjoy it! Do you, focus on what makes you happy. Travel! Pick up an extreme sport! When I was your age I voluntarily took myself out of the dating pool for TWO YEARS, and focused on myself, my family and my relationship with God. Magically, at the end of those two years I reconnected with my now-husband, and we've been married for two more years. It'll happen when you least expect it, so stop fighting so hard! Relax! Let it happen on it's own!

looks alone... i dont get it and hope you find the girl your looking for or... you know, just a friend whatever your looking for.

Your 23 decent shape and to be honest go out and just enjoy I really did not get into a relationship (my wife now) until I was in my Late 20s just go out and enjoy life. Dont get me wrong I love my wife and kids but sometimes I wish I did not have that committment. Sometimes.

and yet I haven't been on a date in 9 months.

How many women have you actually asked out on a date in the last 9 months?

You see, here's the thing. You're a good looking chap. You're possibly even better looking than I am (hard to imagine, I know.)

I would wager if you asked 20 women "hey, let's go out for a drink tomorrow night" you would get at least a couple of dates without question. I think the real issue here is your emotional strength and your ability to handle rejection. Just as you need to work on weight loss sometimes you need to work on emotional ability.

Don't be fooled by this "just wait" malarkey. Winners make their own luck. Take action. It's a beautiful thing...

Hit on chicks at the gym. Preferably when they are in the middle of a heavy set of barbell squats.

:noway: You can't get a date??! Man, the women you're meeting must be blind and/or dumb, I know plenty of girls that would be queuing up to date you!!

Chin up mate, it WILL happen....come back and let us know how it all goes!

Visualize what you want often, and only in positive ways. Try affirmations. I've been feeling a million times better these past 2 weeks with affirmations than I have all summer. Stay positive, and try and find out what fears might be getting in your way. Then deal with them, or try to replace them with positive, opposite statements. Good luck!