Deliberate Sabotage

Effpcos
Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, what are some of your experiences of people (friends, family) etc who have deliberately done something to make you stumble on your diet/ weightloss (or anything else)? And how did you "fight" back?

Last month I caught a friend putting a sugar and a heap of whole milk into my coffee (and not her own). I drunk it (she didn't know I'd seen her) but then did extra exercise that day, so nyanyanayah at her, lol. And lately she's been putting junky food down on the table in front of me when I visit, I just don't eat it (thankfully she doesn't know what my fave snacks are!).

My ex used to try to make me late for work, he was quite a jealous person, and I was a young attractive barmaid, lol. He'd hide my keys or my shoes. I started hiding spares of stuff for when he did. That relationship ended very spectacularly!
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Replies

  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    I slap those people, across the face.
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
    I'd have to say that she sounds very vindictive, petty, and incredibly inconsiderate and presumptious. Is she really someone you can call a "friend"? I'm sorry, I don't mean that to be rude but I've never heard of someone doing something like that! Confront her!
  • maparis
    maparis Posts: 5 Member
    This person isn't your friend...
  • subcult
    subcult Posts: 262 Member
    Never ever had to experience this type of behavor I'm sorry you have. However I do now have the "sabotage" song stuck in my head.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
    OMG... SOUNDS VEEEEEEEEEERY TRIFLING... I THNK U NEED NEW FRIENDS.
  • gimpygramma
    gimpygramma Posts: 383 Member
    Maybe it's time for another relationship to end "spectacularly" or not....it needn't be dramatic but it is a relationship that probably needs to end.
  • LuckyTerrier
    LuckyTerrier Posts: 73 Member
    Putting sugar in someone else's coffee is not normal behavior. I've had people tempt me with junk food (mostly to make themselves feel better for indulging), but I've never seen anything like this. Your "friend' is crazy and I suggest distancing yourself or at least avoiding any foods prepared by her.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    My husband does that. He brings home things I love to "treat" me, offers to take me out to eat so we can have more 'us' time, offers me bites of his food... etc etc. Sometimes I think it's deliberate sabotage, sometimes I think he's just struggling to adapt. I'm really very bad at saying no, especially when I think someone's trying to be kind, so it's difficult.

    Your friend, on the other hand, sounds like a jealous *kitten*! Or maybe she just wanted to make your coffee for you... who knows?
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,840 Member
    I'm surprised by how many times people persistently offer snack foods that I've declined. Sabotage? Hard to say. My solution is to tell people that one of the reasons I've lost weight is being disciplined about my food choices... and while I appreciate their hospitality, I would appreciate it more if they desisted. Delivered politely, of course.
  • chefsmash
    chefsmash Posts: 53 Member
    Whoever that person is that did that is not a friend... how awful and pathetic! And just MEAN! Would he/she do that to a diabetic or someone who had an allergy? I can't get over people these days.

    Anyway, I wouldn't have taken the coffee. I would have just gotten up and said "Excuse me, I need to get a new coffee. This one's been tampered with" and then shot the person a look that could kill.
  • caritiger
    caritiger Posts: 82 Member
    This person is not being a true friend, not at all. If she were really your friend, she would be supporting and encouraging you, not working against your goals.
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    During my 1st few months my 20 year old daughter brought home every junky and fast food thing home in a 20 mile radius, placed it on the table in front of Me. Haa ha ha when I lost 30 lbs she finally decided to join mfp as well ! As for hubbys junk food addiction and always having peanut butter cups sitting all over my house ( which happens to be my absolute favorite candy ) I have learned to ignore it, he now makes my fruit smoothies every morning.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Why didn't you confront her? You could have politely asked her if she was confused about what you wanted in your coffee.
  • PiggySweet
    PiggySweet Posts: 60 Member
    my parents are constantly trying to get me to eat junk food. I think they just like telling me that i'm fat, because they do it alot.
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
    OH everytime I say I'm watching what I eat, etc. people start showing up with chocolate cake and cookies and all that crap. I just say "NO THANKS" and walk away.......... I don't feel obligated at all to eat it.
  • Brendajo510
    Brendajo510 Posts: 153
    Who needs friends when you have enemies...

    Now, if you were looking extremely underweight, then I could possibly see trying to get you to have more calories. But no one should "spike" your food or drinks, wheres the trust?

    I do believe some people can be envious and some people will feel like you've changed (not just physically, but personality wise), but it shows you little respect to do that to your food in an obviously deliberate move.

    Honestly, when I say "no" to something (most recent was free cupcakes at work), I feel better about doing it. I feel like this time I'm going to actually keep this up. I feel the motivation. Now, when I smelled cookies baking in the over at work today... I was just glad no one was there offering them out because that would have taken a lot of will power to say no. Mmmm cookies.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Our friendship is ok in other areas, I think she's just a bit competitive!
    She's struggling big time with losing weight, but then again she hasn't really tried and always has an excuse for why anything I do won't work for her.
    But yes I have been avoiding her lately, which is a shame.
  • PaleoRDH
    PaleoRDH Posts: 266
    my parents are constantly trying to get me to eat junk food. I think they just like telling me that i'm fat, because they do it alot.



    AWW that makes me so sad!!! I think you're super cute, I wish they wouldn't do that to you...... :noway:
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    Why didn't you confront her? You could have politely asked her if she was confused about what you wanted in your coffee.

    I wouldn't have the guts to do that, :embarassed: , guess I was a bit hurt too.
  • Culley34
    Culley34 Posts: 224
    If someone touches or alters my food, I cut their face.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I slap those people, across the face.
    leslieandpriscilla.gif
  • eecruzmd
    eecruzmd Posts: 119 Member
    I haven't had that happen to me on the contrary my real friends are extremely supportive and don't talk about sweets although I've told them many times it doesn't bother me if they eat junk food in front of me.

    Your "friend" is not your friend. She needs to be cut out of your life like a bad habit, girl
  • LesaDave
    LesaDave Posts: 1,480 Member
    However I do now have the "sabotage" song stuck in my head.

    HAHAHAHA!! Me too!!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
    I think you need to call her out on it. Friends are supposed to be supportive of, instead of sabotaging, each other. If she's struggling to lose weight too, then now is the time to partner up so that you can help each other get fit. If this doesn't resolve her behaviour, I would quickly make her another "ex-something" in your rear view.

    If you find yourself lingering with these saboteur-types in their various forms, throughout your life, it may be a behavioural pattern of yours that should give you some serious pause.
  • Jkmumma
    Jkmumma Posts: 254
    That's ok... my GYM is conspiring against me. It might only be two blocks from my house, but I have to walk through a FOOD COURT to get to it... (True story)


    As far as your friend... yeah.. I had someone (no longer a friend) do that when I was quitting smoking. When I was a smoker, she NEVER offered me a smoke. After I announced I was quitting, ever time she lit up, she would offer. Either confront them, develop will power of iron or steel enough to say no to all of it, stop being their friend, or suck it up and work out more. Whatever works out for you.
  • gazelleintraining
    gazelleintraining Posts: 107
    I had (*note the past tense) a friend who would get very passive aggressive and competitive with me if I did not overindulge with her at restaurants and bakeries. It was ludicrous. I tried talking to her about it and she denied it. Then I tried doing other activities with her besides food-based ones, and it got far worse. I realized that she was looking for less of a friend and more for someone to binge eat with her. It was very frustrating and honestly disappointing. I thought we had more of a friendship than that. So sad.
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?

    Seriously? Of course. Cats are f'ing evil.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    My husband is fantastic though! Does that help?!
    And in a way it kinda motivated me to work harder, I'll succeed despite her. I feel sorry for her too, she's not doing well at anything these days.
    I have another friend who is losing weight with me though, so there is balance in my life, and of course MFP, =)
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    My cat chewed the edges off one of my cork yoga blocks.....I wonder if it was deliberate?

    Seriously? Of course. Cats are f'ing evil.

    :laugh:

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