Memory boxes from past relationships
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I keep most stuff, until my next boyfriend finds the stuff. If he wants me to throw it away, I do without questions. Otherwise I keep them just to remember what was going on during that part of my life.
I won't throw out jewelery or anything expensive though. o-o But no objections to tossing cards or what not. I've been told that I'm not a very sentimental person, but even I will keep stuff.0 -
Did she pass while they were still in the relationship or before?
Personally, I get rid of everything.
She committed suicide shortly after they broke up.
I don't really see it as people not being over it. Like I said I don't have one. Several reasons. I move a lot, lose a lot, etcetc.
Some very interesting answers!0 -
I've kept a medley of things from past relationships (I also obsessively collect ticket stubs for no reason, so movies/concert/shows and yadda yadda from the past I have)
I agree - it's not an "I haven't moved on" thing (I've been in a wonderful relationship for nearly 4 years) but just a visual collection of my past. Like reading an old diary - it's reflective. It's not like there's anything super creep in there - like locks of hair. But pictures and some small trinkets0 -
I have one, I still have it, been over a year and I have yet to throw it out. I don't want to forget her. She's married by now but I am single.0
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I keep some stuff - but not other stuff from previous relationships and my first marriage
That part of my life is over but it's not like it never happened - I talk about it if people ask - my husband knows all about it so it's not like a secret.
I don't see the point in pretending it never happened or not talking about it. It's not like every day I open the conversation with "when I was married to ****** before you..."
Some things you keep cause they have different meanings and they may bring back good memories of past relationships - not everything was a horrid memeory.0 -
I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
If I could get my memory erased as well I would.0 -
I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
If I could get my memory erased as well I would.
see, I think that is sad. our relationships help mold us into the people we become. I have learned A LOT in most if not all my relationships, both good and bad. I have learned how I want to be treated, how I should treat my SO and what mistakes to never make again.
My SO and I had a fight this morning about a package. He couldn't see it in his room so he made me think it hadn't arrived and then he got huffy and puffy when I told him to look for it. We argue about silly stuff like this all the time(and sometimes I don't understand why I put up with his moody butt other than I love him), but IF we break up, I won't ever say "Oh God, i wish I could erase him from my past."0 -
I have one for one of my ex-bf where I put all his pics, gifts (except for the shirt that I'm still wearing), love letters & incidentally he confessed that he also has one with all my pics & stuff. We're still on very good terms to this day & also incidentally we're both single hehe.
But normally I get rid of everything except for him, dunno what's happening in my head :P0 -
Did she pass while they were still in the relationship or before?
Personally, I get rid of everything.
She committed suicide shortly after they broke up.
I don't really see it as people not being over it. Like I said I don't have one. Several reasons. I move a lot, lose a lot, etcetc.
Some very interesting answers!
That is so sad!!
I never knew people thought this kind of thing was creepy. I haven't opened mine in awhile.. because it has a compilation of things other than past relationships with guys, I probably dig into it more often than others. I think it'd be weird if my husband had a problem with me keeping photos of people who are no longer apart of my life, but were important at the time. it's just mementos of my life.0 -
I have pictures and a photo album from when I was married to my ex husband. The only reason I hold onto them is because we had a child together. When my son gets settled into a long term place to live, I'll be giving them all to him. I have no desire to look at them or remember the horrible marriage I had with him. The only good thing that came out of it was my son and that's the only reason I don't regret having been married to the man.
I have been with my current husband for 22 years. If something happened to him, I am positive that I would hold onto anything that would bring back the good memories we have shared. Unless we broke up for some reason, but that's not going to happen.0 -
I throw it all out.
An ex of mine had this duvet she had used on her bed for like - 20 years and refused to get rid of it as it was a memory box of past lovers bodily fluids (ick). Now THAT is creepy.0 -
I find this practice to be creepy as hell. Exes are exes for very good reasons. Even if you stay good friends afterwards---you ARE friends, so wtf do you need a memory box, for?? And if you're not friends, well, that indicates you're living in the past, and are not over him/her. Get rid of their crap.
THIS ^^^0 -
If my husband had a memorie box of his ex (or exes) id punch him in the face. Seems like you shouldnt get into another relationship if you are still holding on to your past. its not fair.0
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I don't know what a memory box is, but I have a box full of pics dating from 1976. The reason I don't have anything before that time is because a jealous girlfriend I started dating in 1976 asked me to get rid of them. So...now I haven't seen that girl in decades and I don't have any pics from the first 22 years of my life. (Well...some....but none of the women I dated before 1976.)
Jealousy is a wasted emotion.0 -
I have one from my first marriage, plus I've saved cards and notes from my relationships going all the way back to high school. At 41, I'm definitely over those relationships, but I like seeing them once in a while, reminiscing about what life was like back then and the people who were in my life. When I was in my 20's, if a guy had a memory box or was holding on to that stuff I would have been bothered by it, but at my age now I just see it as a way of holding on to our youth.0
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I don't have one but my husband does. When we started dating he had all of these pictures of former flames around his apartment, and when I moved in I got him the box so he wouldn't feel that he had to get rid of them. I just didn't want to see them. It's still in his closet but I don't know the last time he's ever gone in it. In the grand scheme of things its not a big deal. He is a very sentimental person, and can't throw anything out.0
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I see no good in doing that. No reason to remember past gf's.0
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I don't have a memory box dedicated to anyone in particular but I do have a bookcase practically filled with photo albums from approx. 1985 to 2008. After that, I decided to just post my pictures online (facebook) and let the paper documentation of my life (and my family) end. And yes, I have pictures of old boyfriends. I have gone back to look through those albums about 5 times in those 23 years.0
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I dont have one and id be annoyed if my fiance did. theres a reason we broke up in the first place, and its because there were more bad times than good. why do either one of us need to hold onto that crap?0
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Interesting topic and responses.
I have a memory box, but it isn't specific to past relationships. There are items in it from past relationships, but I also have a basketball jersey, drawings my mother did for me as a kid, a baseball I caught at a MLB game. I pulled it out while doing Spring cleaning this year. As I went through it, I decided to discard some items from past relationships. I came across a letter a gf sent to me and I was still touched reading it after 20 years. No unresolved feelings. It was just a very thoughtful letter she had sent and it is something I will always keep.
My wife has her memory box as well.0 -
F*#k no, if it's a past relationship then it needs to remain in the past. I can recall "good" memories from my mind if I choose to.0
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I keep little things like the condoms we used or the false pregnancy tests she took. They are sweet memories.0
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I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
If I could get my memory erased as well I would.
see, I think that is sad. our relationships help mold us into the people we become.
I completely agree.
I certainly understand some relationships are that bad where there isn't much worth remembering. However, I really don't believe that is the norm.0 -
I don't NEED the box I just choose to keep one.
Locks of their hair, old panties, etc.
I know where they ALL are and check on them regularly.
They will never leave ME!
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I may have a couple random things from HS bfs but anything I have kept along the way is from my husband...been with him since I was 19 and before that, I didn't have many serious relationships anyway.0
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I don't keep any of that shiznit. Once a relationship is over for me, I ditch everything and move on like it never happened.0
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I don't NEED the box I just choose to keep one.
Locks of their hair, old panties, etc.
I know where they ALL are and check on them regularly.
They will never leave ME!
I THOUGHT i saw footprints in my flowerbed.0 -
I don't keep any of that shiznit. Once a relationship is over for me, I ditch everything and move on like it never happened.
You can't erase me from your past. I existed. You loved me! Why are you doing this to me? :brokenheart:0 -
Does an envelope with divorce papers and custody agreements count? :laugh: Just kidding, never had a divorce....
My personal opinion is it is a sign you haven't quite moved on from the relationship, which is understandable in cases.
Hey I have these in my memory box. Best thing about my last relationship. LOL And I think it's weird to have anything belonging to the ex (unless it's kids). Especially with someone new. Why keep it? It may seem like they are not over that person. Why would he want a reminder of his past when he's with you?0 -
I've seriously never even heard of this before.
I'm good friends with my last two ex bf's from before I got married (was even roommates with one of them for a few years). But I don't need to keep a bunch of random crap from my ended romantic relationships with them. I probably have recent "platonic" pictures of them both floating around and I don't really believe in destroying gifts I was given but I don't keep all the stuff related to these guys in a box somewhere.
No offense but keeping a box full of pictures and mementos from a past romantic relationship in a little box somewhere to look back at with warm fuzzy fondness or whatever just seems really creepy to me, especially if you don't even keep in touch with the person anymore and are in a stable, healthy relationship with someone else.
My husband never had a relationship last longer than 3 months before he met me. He's never had anything nice to say about his ex girlfriends so he usually just doesn't say anything at all. I have no opinion of his exes since I've never met any of them and the only things I know about them are from him (and since he apparently can't stand them, his opinion is biased, they could be really nice people for all I know!).0
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